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The Prom Entourage
  • canadamom
    Posts: 867Member
    Going to Prom this week.  Me, my BF, my Mom, DD17, exH, ExH girlfriend, ExMil.

    I am starting to have panic attacks at being sround these people from the other side.

    exMil - haven't really seen her in 5 years.  exFil just died 2 months ago so that is why she can come,  How do you say so glad you could be here for DD without it sounding like you are glad the Fil died??

    ExH's Girlfriend - tried to take over being the mom when she came into the picture and made all sorts of comments about how bad a mom I was.  DD wants her there as DD was 9 when she came into the picture.  I can't stand her.

    exH - has been creepily nice, polite, funny and friendly on the phone with me since his dad died.  I am waiting for the shoe to fall.  He can be snarky in person.

    So I have to sit with these people for 4+ hours and all I can think about is the sacastic comments they are going to make.  My stomach is getting upset as it is.  

    My mom is coming and she and I are not on great terms right now due to something she did and I called her on.  She then flipped out on me and told everyone that my medication issues are the cause of the diffiuclties - not her choices.

    Thank God my SO is coming as I think I would go nuts otherwise.  I can't even drink to blunt the edges as the meds I am on make drinking not a good idea.

    DD17 has been snarky all week. Nothing I say pleases her.  She won't wear any of my jewelery for prom, but will wear a necklace from my mom.  

    I am heavier than I have ever been due to steroids for 8 months, which does not help my self esteem and that fact that I have to see all these other people.  I didn't want to be fat for this and I am.  I had a hard time finding something to wear.  

    Ugh Vent over!!  
  • [Deleted User]
    Posts: 7,022
    The user and all related content has been deleted.
    well behaved women seldom make history
  • jaelaraejaelarae
    Posts: 30Member
    Why is your whole family going to prom? (confused)

    I have lots of experience dealing with people I hate- but you do what you have to for the people you love.
    When I have to spend time with my FIL (one of those people) I just kill him with kindness so he has no reason to talk shit about me. And then chainsmoke and bitch my head off to my mom afterwards.

    If your ex & co make snarky comments, smile and say nothing. Take the high road & then rip them to shreds after if it makes you feel better!

    I hope you find something great to wear- feeling attractive will help you tons. Maybe have your hair & nails, and/or makeup done professionally?
    (It sucks you can't drink.)

    Good luck!
  • canadamom
    Posts: 867Member
    The whole family is going because we can LOL. There is no limit on the number of tickets you can buy.  

    Originally it was going to be DD, her dad, me, and my mom as we thought we would only get 4 tickets.  Then when we realized we could get more, DD wanted exH girlfriend to come so I said ok as long as my SO get to come as well.  Then since one grandmother was coming, I suggested she ask her other grandma if she would come as well ( exFIL has passed away so exMil could actually travel without feeling guilty about leaving him as he was very ill)  I thought it would be nice for DD and for ex Mil to have something to look forward to during such a sad time.


  • [Deleted User]
    Posts: 7,022
    The user and all related content has been deleted.
    well behaved women seldom make history
  • canadamom
    Posts: 867Member
    To hit them or knock some sense into me for thinking this was going to be ok to do!!
  • [Deleted User]
    Posts: 7,022
    The user and all related content has been deleted.
    well behaved women seldom make history
  • SaraSara
    Posts: 1,037Member

    Have something like this prepared....

    Two Southern belles, one of whom was from Texas, were seated on the porch swing of a large white-pillared mansion talking. The first woman, who was not from Texas, said, "When my first child was born, my husband had this beautiful mansion built for me."
    "That's nice," commented the lady from Texas.
    "When my second child was born," the first woman continued, "he bought me that fine Cadillac automobile you see parked in the drive."
    Again, the lady from Texas commented, "That's nice."
    "Then, when my third child was born," boasted the first woman, "he bought me this very exquisite diamond and emerald bracelet."
    Once more, the lady from Texas commented, "That's nice."
    "What did your husband buy for you when you had your first child?" asked the first woman.
    "My husband sent me to charm school," answered the lady from Texas.
    "Charm school!" exclaimed the first woman. "Land sakes, child, what on earth for?"
    I learned to say 'That's nice!'" replied the lady from Texas, instead of "Fuck off!"

    Think of your problems as challenges to overcome not obstacles to be avoided.
  • canadamom
    Posts: 867Member
    The whole family going is new to me!! When I went to Prom we were limited to 4 tickets only so that everyone had a chance to get tickets, but at her school there is no limit on the number of tickets per family. 


  • KellynnKellynn
    Posts: 1,978Member
    Do you mean graduation? I am really, really confused. Does this mean your dd gets all dressed up, gets a date, goes to dinner, then dancing somewhere nice? And you all will be with her at dinner, or you will be sitting in a gym or hall somewhere watching all the kids dance? Sorry, I'm just not understanding this.
  • [Deleted User]
    Posts: 7,022
    The user and all related content has been deleted.
    well behaved women seldom make history
  • KellynnKellynn
    Posts: 1,978Member
    So, what is prom in canada?
  • fatchickonabikefatchickonabike
    Posts: 5,494Member
    No, prom is the two kids in Canada, too. My whole family came to graduation.
    "The most essential gift for a good writer is a built-in, shock-proof bullshit detector.” - Ernest Hemingway
  • canadamom
    Posts: 867Member
    We have two ceremonies
    1) Graduation - the cap and gown getting your diploma event - to which all family is invited

    2) Prom - the big dinner/dance/ wear a big formal dress event  - there are speeches, etc.  The kid goes as well as parents.  AT DD school, anyone over 14 can attend this event and you can buy as many tickets you like.  Parents usually just take pictures and stay at the table while the kids have all the fun - although if DD keeps being snarky I am going to get up on that dance floor and bust a move - all 260 pds of me!!
  • canadamom
    Posts: 867Member
    MAybe its an Edmonton Catholic school thing???
  • fatchickonabikefatchickonabike
    Posts: 5,494Member
    Maybe. I've truly never heard of the whole family going to prom. That would have been kind of mortifying back in my day, honestly.
    "The most essential gift for a good writer is a built-in, shock-proof bullshit detector.” - Ernest Hemingway
  • canadamom
    Posts: 867Member
    It doesn't seem odd as that's the way it was when I went to Highschool many many years ago!!
  • LoveLove
    Posts: 12,757Administrator, Moderator
    Wow. Our parents weren't allowed at prom, unless they had signed up to be chaperons!
    Prom was one of the one few things we could count on to be out from under the watch of parental eyes LOL

    @Canadamom do you all have to sit at the same table?

    community-manager


  • KellynnKellynn
    Posts: 1,978Member
    Wow, that's a lot different from the US!
  • canadamom
    Posts: 867Member
    Yep we are all at the same table.  And since there are so many of us, we will probably have a table to ourselves, so no using the others at the tables to diffuse the tension.
  • [Deleted User]
    Posts: 7,022
    The user and all related content has been deleted.
    well behaved women seldom make history
  • Katescrazymom
    Posts: 1,847Member
    Not a Canadian thing, we had a big formal dance (no dinner), creatively known as formal. I don't remember speeches, maybe just something really brief going over the rules? Then we had graduation with caps, gowns, speeches, awards and all. There were refreshments after that.
    The town I went to high school in has a really beautiful town hall, so for formal, the street is closed off and couples or groups come up with creative ways to arrive outside, then walk down a red carpet. The town crier announces each couple and you go up to the ballroom.
    I've heard that the town was making a stink about closing the street, so the formal isnt at townhall anymore. Then the town wonders why the young people leave.
  • Katescrazymom
    Posts: 1,847Member
    Oops, missed the part were I tell you it sucks that such a special occasion is going to be so awkward.
  • canadamom
    Posts: 867Member
    really wish I could have some of you listen in and supply me with the wonderfully witty and cutting comebacks that I will think of several days after this event!!
  • loveitloveit
    Posts: 1,738Member
    Omg if my parents had come to prom I would have DIED!!! Lol. They were no parents at my prom.
  • notperfectnotperfect
    Posts: 743Member

    Parents generally leave after the dinner and the kids stay for the dance, and only the ones in grade 12 are allowed to go (unless a grad invites you)


    Be thankfull you get to go @canadamom, I'm not going to my son's cause I know his dad will be there and there is no way I can sit through a dinner and be civil to him the whole time, my blood preassure simply cannot handel it.

  • AnonUser28
    Posts: 2,083Guest
    My prom was a dance in the school caf, then we had dinner afterwards, then went to an after party, which was basically getting drunk in a field (I come from a VERY small town). First time I was ever allowed to stay out all night :) Seriously though, I wish you luck! Just keep in mind that you are fabulous, and remember it is only one night. You most likely won't have to see all those people in the same room again until she gets married.
  • LoveLove
    Posts: 12,757Administrator, Moderator
    CollegeMom said:

    My prom was a dance in the school caf, then we had dinner afterwards, then went to an after party, which was basically getting drunk in a field (I come from a VERY small town). First time I was ever allowed to stay out all night :) 



    Ours too, except it was in the gym. 
    And then we partied like redneck rockstars out in the field LOL

    @Canadamom Take your phone. We have a never-ending supply of smartass here LOL

    community-manager


  • canadamom
    Posts: 867Member
    We had Convocation ceremonies last night and all the ex's were VERY friendly, even the ex Mil.  NOt sure what drugs they are taking but it makes it nice for Caitlyn.  

    Only thing that bothered me was that during the required standing times for  the Mass, the ex his girlfriend and my son would not stand.  Everyone else in the whole place of 1200 people that I could see, stood, even if they weren't Catholic.  It was SOOOOO rude.  They aren't Catholic but still it was impolite.  Ex MIl had bunged up her knee, so she couldn't stand.

    My family was more of a hassle as they were pissed when they found out they couldn't wear jeans to the Graduation.  I didn't think I needed to tell them as I thought it was obviously a semi formal occaision.  I told my brother because he is a bit obtuse about such things.  He told them when they were getting ready and he saw they were all wearing jeans.  It wasn't like my sis and her family didn't have nice clothes to wear either. And then they were going to be late and then they were upset that I hadn't warned them that the parking garage only took cash and not debit.  

    It was like hearding cats trying to get pictures done, but we managed.
  • BankMom
    Posts: 135Member
    I know the feeling :-) I'm getting ready for graduation and the attendees are: DS18 (The Grad), me & my parents (and my sister if I win the lottery and get her a plane ticket!), DH and his parents, my parents, my ex (grad's dad) and his wife (who happens to be my DH's exW), the ex-mil and ex-bil, and a couple more of the assorted kids we've got. We're all going out to lunch later but I made sure it's a place with a full bar, thankyouverymuch! I've worked my ass off to get this kid out of school LOL Thankfully we do all get along well enough and I'm pretty sure we'll have a good time. (Or you'll see confessions in a month or so like "FU EX" etc. )
    "...and when her feet hit the floor in the morning the devil says "Oh, shit! She's awake!"
  • canadamom
    Posts: 867Member
    Prom waslast night!!  She was beautiful.  We had a good day getting her hair and makeup done. 

    My mom bought her a corsage which she loved - even though she told me she didn't want any flowers.  Her dad also bought her a corsage so she wore nanny's part of the time and dad's part of the time.

    ex Mil ended up in the hospital due to a knee problem and couldn't come to the Prom.  

    We got some good pictures relunctently as all DD wanted to do was party.  

    ExH bought her the same graduation card that I did.  He spent the evening giving me dirty looks when I was affectionate with my SO.  There was a weird vibe between him and his GF all night.  They would be super friendly with the rest of us, but hardly smiled or talked to each other.

    The night went well for Caitlyn and she was super happy.  Dropped her off at the after party and went home to sleep as it was a long 2 days.
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