I have mentioned in a few reply posts that I sent my DD16 to live with her father when she was 10 and that it was the single biggest mistake of my life but I haven't said anything else about it. Well, I am finally ready to talk about what has been going on for the last 6 years, mainly because there is a small light at the end of the tunnel.

When DD16 was little we knew she wasn't a "normal" child, her tantrums lasted longer than they should have, they were explosive, they came out of no where and for no good reason at all, she was violent on occasion...it got to the point that I was afraid to fall asleep at night because I wasn't sure what she would do to the other kids if I wasn't watching.

That was when she went to live with her father. And shortly after that the hell I was living got worse than I could have ever imagined. Because I went from being afraid of what might happen to being almost completely cut off from her.

We were only allowed to talk to her on the phone once a week for 10 minutes and if she had any behaviors he took our calls away. He wouldn't allow her to visit us. We live across the country from eachother, so it wasn't like I could hop in a car and jaunt over for a weekend visit. My DH and I would buy plane tickets for summer, Christmas and spring break but he'd never put her on the plane. His reasoning was "She didn't deserve a visit". WTF?? You can't take away contact with a parent as a punnishment for something...you ass. He moved her around a lot, sometimes he didn't give me their address so I'd have to call his mom and get it from her. We weren't able to have simple things like school pictures or report cards. Mother's day cards or Birthday cards. It was like I wasn't her mom anymore.

Contacted lawyers but they were so expensive there was no way we could pay for one.

Then last year things really spiraled out of control. She started fighting bak when he'd scream at her for no reason. She started to question why she wasn't allowed to visit us. She would demand to call me. If he wouldn't let her call us she'd go to his mom's house and call me from there....behind his back. They were fighting all the time and every time I got to talk to her there was another story from her or his mom about something that happened. He had her put in shelter for a weekend about a year ago. When I tried to call her the intake worker told me I was on the no contact list. She gave me the social worker's name and I called her to find out what the hell was going on. She didn't answer the phone so I left her a message, but by the time she called me back DD was already out and there wasn't anything the social worker could do.

In November of last year his girlfriend called the police and filed a false statement that DD hit her. Guess who got arrested and ended up in a foster home? To be honest, this one act of vindictiveness was the best thing that could have happened. Because now Social Workers are involved again. They have seen what he does to her and the things he says to her. He threatened to punch her in the face in front of a therapist because she said she feels like he doesn't care about her at all.

Then Monday I get the phone call that an Intra-State Compact has been filed. 

Yesterday I get a phone call from a probation officer here saying they are going to do a home study to make sure our house is safe for DD to live and she wanted to do it at 4pm. Uhm, omg, ok! She came over and looked at out house and sat and talked to DH and I about county services they have lined up for DD. She already talked to the school DD will (omg) be attending and have a support system in place in case of any problems. She brought an in-home family therapist with her who is going to be making visits to our house to help out with anything we might need. They said a move like this is hard for any kid but in DD's situation things can go terribly wrong really fast so they want to make sure we have any resources we need to help her. They said the goal was to get her here before the end of summer.

I am so happy I want to cry. But I am afraid to get my hopes up just in case that asshole finds a way to block this. I don't know if he can because DD has been placed in the state's custody...but he is such a dink he will find a way.

I haven't thought I needed much in the lines of a support system in the last 6 years. I just run water in the bath tub and sit in the bathroom to cry so no one will hear me. I can't keep doing that, I know. I have to have an outlet. So I may need y'all more than I thought I did when I joined the site a few weeks ago. Because I know this is not going to be easy, it's going to be so hard...but DD deserves a better life that what she has had and I'll do anything to give it to her.