The Scary Mommy Community is a place to find support and camaraderie with amazing moms who love to help one another. We are scattered all around the world, of all different colors and sizes and lifestyles, united by a single thing: motherhood.

Please create a profile to post and for access to all of boards. It's quick and completely painless!

Motherhood Comes Naturally (and other vicious lies) is available in stores, and online, NOW. Do you have it yet? Have you told all your friends and family about it? **Get it, share it, and spread the joy!**
when did you leave?
  • momnipotentmomnipotent
    Posts: 498Member
    how old was your baby the first time you eft him or her behind to go out for more than like an hour? what factors influenced your decision? did it depend who was watching lo? did how you fed your baby make a difference (bottle vs breast)? did you stay out as long as intended or was it too much for you? did you regret NOT going out sooner? do you regret going out so soon?
    im struggling with this lately, im torn between wanting to go out and wanting to bask in the babyhood cause he is growing so quick
    *ad astra per alia porci*
    my nuts hang like there aint no curfew
  • episcopal
    Posts: 1,402Member
    DD certainly was less that a year old when DW and I went out for a date night.  And we took a weekend getaway when she was a year old.  Grandparents were about 45 minutes away and we always trusted our babysitters (one was the daughter of my boss at the time).
  • BakingmommyBakingmommy
    Posts: 401Member
    With DD almost immediately, I had to go back to school full time to graduate at all, and I was working full time. With DS it was quite a bit longer, maybe I'd say 6 months before I was gone more than an hour or so.
    Shameless Plugging:
    http://www.facebook.com/pages/Shanks-Yanks/117723581657394
  • discomoose87discomoose87
    Posts: 45Member
    After staying locked in my house for about 6 weeks my friends dragged me back into public and made me go to a movie. I turned the ringer off on my phone and spent the whole time texting with my mom to make sure everything was ok. In other news, I may be slightly paranoid.
  • OnmylastnerveOnmylastnerve
    Posts: 1,648Member
    I really didn't have a choice but @4 weeks I was in the hospital for 4 days. My mom brought to see me everyday! Don't think I could have handled it if she didn't!
    not my chair, not my problem
  • sanityseekersanityseeker
    Posts: 2,367Member
    dd started spending every weekend with my mom around 6 weeks old....ds was a little older but only because we had moved 3 hours away.


    Biting's excellent. It's like kissing. Only there's a winner.
    "Dobby never meant to kill! Dobby only meant to maim or seriously injure.” -Dobby
    Genealogy: Where you confuse the dead and irritate the living.
  • Emmie
    Posts: 277Member
    I didn't leave my first for way too long.  With number two, I left him with Grandma and Auntie while I went shopping for a few hours...he was about 3 weeks old.  When I got home, I learned that my breast fed son had refused a bottle of breast milk, so my sister nursed him for me! 

    With the younger kids, I went back to work so I left them at 6 weeks.  First one with the same sister (who was no longer lactating...darn!), or dh.  Youngest was with a sitter.

    It is fine to leave them for a few hours to get out and about.  It can help to keep your sanity!
  • MalmqukMalmquk
    Posts: 633Member
    Ds was about a week old when I left him for the day with my mum to go out for the afternoon with dh. I had pnd and to be honest didn't wanna go and pick him back up!
    Over night, he was about 5 months.
    I had left him for the day a few times before this. I trust my parents and my in laws.
  • ChibikoChibiko
    Posts: 2,685Member
    DS was 3 days old when I first left him w my Mom. I had to go take finals so I could graduate w my 4 yr degree.

    Dd was 3 weeks when I first left her. I had to go to the doctor because I had broke my toe. Again I left her w Mom.
    U R who U think U R

    "You were the truth I would rather lose than to have never lain beside at all"
  • sunnymommasunnymomma
    Posts: 2,243Member
    3 months and i was paniced and frantic the whole time!
    “There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life.”
    ― John Lennon
  • many_moons_ago
    Posts: 338Member

    I would leave mine only with DH for no more then 3 hours to go play soccer. They were over a year before I left them for half a day.

    They were all around 22 months the first time I left them over night.

  • bookworm
    Posts: 26Member
    My ex MIL was always trying to get me to quit nursing so she could have my son for extended periods of time. When he was 6 weeks old she offered to send DH and I on a two week Carribean cruise IF she could keep our son and "bond" with him. She also re-created his nursery- down to the same furniture and bedding- in her house as a "surprise" for us so he would "feel at home" and traded in HER car on a MINIVAN while I was pregnant so she could travel with him. Being that she was a fucking whack job, but also the only relative closer than 600 miles away, I didn't leave my son with anyone else til he was almost 4! I don't recommend it. ;)
  • jacigirl6354
    Posts: 199Member
    Both of our kids were only a few days old when I would leave them with my mom or my MIL for a few hours. DS who is now 15, I left him overnight with my parents for a weekend at 6 wks. DH had an awards banquet out of state. Both kids also went to daycare at 6 weeks because I had to go back to work.
  • NorthernMommyNorthernMommy
    Posts: 347Member

    First time away, DS was only a few days old; left DH to feed him (had expressed BM) and went shopping for some me time (and to get baby odds and ends); left him with my Mom for 4 days for the first time at 4.5 mos when DH and I took a mini-honeymoon after we got married; came back and he was weaned, which was awesome for us.  Left him with my Dad and sister for 10 days just before he turned 1 year while I went out of the country for work, and have let him travel across the country with my dad 3-4 times since 2010.  He travels back to see family and it saves the whole family needing to go.

    DS is super independent, loves to travel, loves airplanes - it fits our lifestyle; he's not overly attached to me or DH, since I essentially let anyone who wanted to hold him or take him for a few hours when he was little.

  • Ms_JAQ
    Posts: 109Member

    I can't remember exactly how old my DD was when I left her for the first time, maybe around 6 weeks. My ex hubby made me take a break and go to the shops by myself for half an hour so I could see that the sky wouldn't fall in if I wasn't there.


    I ended up going back to work when she was 13 weeks old because we were broke and my employer offered me a permenant position that I couldn't turn down. I paid my older sister, who was also on maternity leave, to look after her for the first 6 months. It was cheaper then daycare and I felt better knowing she was with someone familiar. I tried to do a combination of breast and bottle for the first couple of weeks but my DD started to prefer the bottle so I stopped breastfeeding her.


    She would have been around 5 months old when I left her overnight. A good friend was having her hens night and we all went away for the weekend. The bride, me and my sister where all leaving our kids for the first time - mine beng the youngest. My sister was fine cause it was her second, the bride was a total mess but we gave her plenty of champers and made sure she had a good time (she'd had a rough 12 months). I was fine until we got in the car to make the trip home, then I started to miss my bub.


    Now I share custody and am used to being away from my DD for longer periods. Some day's she's little miss independent and some days she clings to my leg. But overall she copes pretty well. I always make sure I tell her what's happening, when I'll see her again and to call me anytime she wants. She knows I'm with her even when we're apart.

  • TorturedbyTWINSTorturedbyTWINS
    Posts: 1,164Member
    I had to leave both mine right from the start.  6 weeks in the NICU didn't give me an option.  I watched baby story nonstop and I knew the odds of twins being premie and in the NICU were good and I thought I was mentally prepared, I wasn't.  I broke down and cried all the time.  I cried so hard when we were out to dinner with the entire family that I made everyone else at the table join in.  It was miserable.  Mommies aren't meant to leave babies in the hospital.  The next time I left them on my terms was for one night for my 30th birthday and they were 8 months old.  I couldn't sleep and I ended up leaving to go home at 3 am to my sleeping angels.  When they were 12 months I left them with my evil MIL for 2 nights, and I cried before our trip a bit but then I had a great time and they did so well playing without me that I haven't been a whiny bitch since!!!  :-D  
Add a Comment