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Most Days I really don't like you
  • slb813
    Posts: 3Member
    You snore really loud and then get pissed at me when I have told you to roll the fuck over 6 times in the last 30 minutes and end up elbowing you in the ribs and yelling at you. I HATE the fact that you have only MADE our soon to be 2 yr old a REAL breakfast ONE time. Ever. Sharing YOUR cereal with him or putting out some dry cereal is NOT a healthy breakfast. I hate the fact that even though we live in a place that HAS a DISHWASHER, you still can't manage to put a load of dishes in AND REMEMBER TO TURN THE FUCKING THING ON! You never do laundry but don't hesitate to dirty up plenty of towels and clothes. You never thing in advance about getting everything ready for you or our son WHILE HE IS NAPPING! You text me (while IM at work) 5 mins before you are supposed to drop our kid off at my moms and ask ME where YOUR car keys are. How the hell am I supposed to know? I'm in bed when you get home from work and I wake up and am out of the house by 5AM! You never vacuum, and when you wanted to that one day, you had to call me and ask me how to work the vacuum machine... Are you serious? You couldn't put the TV stand together right... So of course I had to do it. You can't figure out how to put simple things together, change the breaks or OIL in a car, I make more money than you do, yet I pay MORE BILLS AND DO ALL THE CLEANING, SHOPPING, BILL PAYING, CHILD DISCIPLINE. I also Go to college because I want to make sure that I am ABLE to send our son to college, and buy his sport equipment, to get his senior pictures done. Make sure we can go on vacations. Etc. Because I feel like I care more about him then you do. I look at him as my world, while you look at him like a burden and refuse to go to the store with him... Yes he is 2. YES he absolutely can be an asshole and a handful  and throw tantrums and hit and kick and scratch. But once you experience it a few times you learn how to deal with it. and you should realize that little turd is part of you, and he is the most wonderful turd ever!  Our son is my shopping buddy. He knows our routine, Bank, store, go home, make dinner. I just wish you felt the same. I have to FORCE you to go to the park with us. I had to FORCE you to go with us to the community easter egg hunt.  You are such a prick that you won't even go SWIMMING with us because "you don't like swimming". Well let me tell you this, I don't LIKE being a 24 year old that can manage a household better then a 30 year old. I don't like being MOM and DAD to our son. I don't want him to grow up realizing that his dad is more like a cheap babysitter then a father. I get jealous when I see dads at parks with their THREE kids (no mom in sight) Hell I get jealous when I see a mom and DAD and their kid all at the store. I never had the luxury of sharing nights getting up with our son while he was an infant... I ALWAYS had to because you being the dick head you are would "SLEEP THROUGH IT" really? I baby is SCREAMING and I put the monitor up to your ear and you slept through that.... BULLSHIT!. 


    Sorry for the long rant. I have never found a place where I can vent about this and have other mothers understand.... I do love my husband.. But I sure as HELL don't like him all that much
  • OnmylastnerveOnmylastnerve
    Posts: 1,660Member
    Hugs!!! But I have a question, so dry cereal isn't a healthy breakfast? Oops! I say let the dick head go without clean clothes don't do a damn thing for him! Cook only for you and ds, no left overs for him. Old dogs can learn new tricks!
    not my chair, not my problem
  • AloneOverseasAloneOverseas
    Posts: 2,252Member
    Is he depressed?

    Other than that, I do like what @onmylastnerve said! Let him do his own laundry, cooking, bills, etc. just do what needs to be done for yourself and DS and let DH fend for himself until he gets it. And hopefully he will, sooner rather than later.
    I love purple; I love cats. Imagine if cats were purple ...
  • slb813
    Posts: 3Member
    He's not depressed. Personally I blame his mother. She did EVERYTHING for him and his brothers. My hubby admitted when he first moved out on his own he didn't know how to do laundry or dishes. His brothers are 22 and 25 and BOTH still live at home with mommy and daddy.... I guess because I moved out when I was 17 I think they should have left earlier...
    My dh expects me to be like his mom and just do EVERYTHING... but his mom was a SAHM. If I had the luxury of being a SAHM I wouldn't complain about doing so much... but because I'm a mom, a wife, a full time employee, a cook a maid a STUDENT (going to college for BA in applied behavioral science) I just think he could pull his own weight. Between the two of us our son should not have to live in a sty. For a 2yr old I don't think JUST dry cereal is healthy. Throw a banana in there and a piece of toast and glass of milk BOOM now that's breakfast. ( plus our kid throws the cereal around because DH just puts the cereal out on the coffee table for him instead of using the high chair which in turn just leaves yet ANOTHER mess for me to clean up)
  • PurpleFlowersPurpleFlowers
    Posts: 5,615Member
    Well I could have wrote all of that too, except the going to college part. Men suck. Hugs to you mamma! >:D<
    Stay away from my chocolate and nobody gets hurt!

    I think I like who I am becoming...
  • unforgivenunforgiven
    Posts: 12,891Confessional Manager
    Damn I'm glad you got that off your chest. Hugs to you.

    confessional-manager

    "What looks like torture is a time to rejoice
    What sounds like thunder is a comforting voice
    When what is beautiful looks broken and crushed
    And I say I don't know you
    But you say it's finished"
  • Peace
    Posts: 2,108Member
    The whole time reading that I felt like 'there, there, get it all out'... >:D<
  • ZidashaZidasha
    Posts: 830Member
    Most def. let him fend for himself for a week or so.  Don't do anything for him. 

    If given a chance leave him home with Ds and just take off for a few hours.  Don't tell him your leaving till your half way out the door.

    Make him own up to responsibility.
    "I have a theory that placenta is brain matter I push out, so with each child I get dumber and dumber." ~ Unknown

  • shadylaneshadylane
    Posts: 3,071Member
    yep
    ~slim shady~
  • cr8zy_mom_of_4cr8zy_mom_of_4
    Posts: 49Member
    @slb813 i know JUST how you feel. mine is the same damn way. i say we just let them be in our shoes for  a day and see just how well they do with it. :)
  • [Deleted User]
    Posts: 7,052
    The user and all related content has been deleted.
    well behaved women seldom make history
  • JodiKayHughes
    Posts: 8Member
    Proud of you ... your son wont forget who took care of him ... when your old and grey ... he'll be by your side! Its rough but us moms always seem to keep going ... for our kids. Hugs
  • BeerWenchBeerWench
    Posts: 2,844Member
    (((hugs)))
    :¦:-•:*'""*:•.-:¦:-•** She who leaves a trail of glitter is never forgotten**•-:¦:-•:*'""*:• -:¦:-
  • justjen
    Posts: 6Member
    I'm a SAHM but I do feel you on the part of not doing anything w/the kids.  My DH has only taken my kids to 1 birthday party (they are 4&6), the only reason is because I already had plans and he would have looked like an a*hole if he didn't.  We rarely go anywhere as a family.  He has only taken the kids anywhere by himself maybe 5 times (CVS, Home depot, etc).  It breaks my heart because they are aware now of other dads being Out and about. Yet, the the minute he gets home the world stops turning and the angels sing.  I've just stopped inviting him anywhere, he can see when we are getting ready to leave.
  • Beach_HippieBeach_Hippie
    Posts: 126Member
    You could just tell him. There's really no reason why you can't just say everything you wrote in your rant. You could also just make him fend for himself and see how he likes it. Getting revenge is a wonderful thing. Nobody loves revenge more than I do. I'm the master of getting even and I often suggest a foot in the ass when someone needs it.

    However, I recently became step-mom to a 16-year old moron. Not only is he a typical male (stupid), American (stupid) teenager (stupid)...his mother was a meth junkie, welfare momma who had no life skills of her own to pass on to her (5, yes FIVE) children.

    So, here I have someone who is 2 years away from being considered an ADULT who has no idea what to do. He didn't know how to hand wash dishes (his chore while our dishwasher was broken). He would literally start running water into the sink and then dump a ton of Dawn onto a sponge and then stand there for 5 minutes washing a dish. Then he would set the sponge down, rinse the dish off under the water and then set it in the drain rack. It literally took him 5+ minutes to wash each dish, while running the water the entire time. By the time he'd washed 5 dishes (30 minutes later), he'd be out of hot water, so he would give up on doing dishes and go play his video games. 

    It never occurred to him to empty and wash out the sink, fill it with hot soapy water and wash an entire sinkload of dishes at once and then rinse them all at once and then dry them and put them away and start another load. He would stop doing dishes when he either ran out of hot water or the drain rack was too full to put anything else in it.

    Believe it or not, I actually had to show him this. I also had to explain that he should put the soapy water on the side of the sink that has the garbage disposal so the bits of food and nastiness in the water wouldn't clog the drain. What's really sad is that he had no idea what the garbage disposal was called. He called it the "thing under the sink that grinds up the food in the pipes".

    He didn't know how to operate a washing machine. He'd never seen a Downy ball before. He had no idea what a "lint trap" was and how to empty it to keep the dryer from catching fire.

    He didn't know how to empty out a canister-style vacuum. He had no idea what lemon Pledge was or how it was different from Lysol spray.

    The truth is...nobody taught him. Once I showed him how to dust, clean a toilet, wipe down a mirror, run a sinkful of dish water, vacuum a floor and get the cobwebs...he was fine.

    My grandmother used to say, "Give a man a task and let him surprise you with his ingenuity." Yeah, well...fuck that. It doesn't actually work. Give a man a task and be prepared to show him how you want it done...and be prepared to do this more than once.

    It's frustrating, I know. Most men seem to lack the "common sense" gene, and when you combine it with the "if I don't know what I'm doing and I try to figure it out and fuck it up, not only will I look stupid but I'll probably break it and really piss her off" gene and you have a cowardly moron who simply leaves it up to you since you do a better job anyway. This is the price we pay for being superior to men.

    The fact is, you have an untrained male. My guess is that like most men, he doesn't pretend to be stupid just to piss you off because he enjoys it when you rage on him...he genuinely has no clue.

    My (formerly) untrained male was terrible about cleaning. I'm guessing this happens a lot and I think I've narrowed down the culprit. Women's TV. Think about it...you're watching a show that's a total chick flick. What commercials come on during these shows? Cleaning products (Swiffer, Bounty, Lysol, Tide) and other various chick-centric shit like cat food and feminine hygiene products. So, the next time you're over in the cleaning supplies and see that Swiffer jet thingy that you saw on that commercial while watching that girly show (about 3 culturally diverse women who are best friends and work for a fashion magazine in New York but are secretly witches) you know EXACTLY how to use it because you just watched a 60-second demo during the commercial...plus, you can actually read the directions on the box. (Men are deathly allergic to directions, this is why the avoid them at all costs.)

    You will never see a commercial for Tidy Bowl during Myth Busters, Dexter or River Monsters. The menswear department of every major store is close to the electronics, automotive section and the camping gear. You will find it as far away from the Tidy Bowl (and Tampax) as it can get and still be in the same store.

    Even if an informative commercial came on during a man's TV show...he's not watching it. Men usually take this opportunity to "sniff" other shows by flipping the remote every 4 seconds to see if they're missing something better than what they're already watching (they can't help it, men are dogs), or they get up and grab a drink/snack, take a leak or go smoke. They do however, pick up the most useless (and often creepy) information from shows like CSI, House and The Sopranos...so don't be surprised if he knows what Hemochromatosis is and has a keen insight into Mafia murder protocols but can't figure out how to operate a crockpot with more than 3 settings (Off/Low/High) and doesn't know where you keep the garbage bags.
  • AussieJodes
    Posts: 1Member

    I think one of the major problems with today's generations of husbands is that they are a direct result of last generations mothers.  Not to say these mothers were bad, but just as todays mothers face the pressure of being able to do it all plus work or further our own education.  Our previous generation of mothers had the pressure of making sure THEY were the "perfect stay at home mum/housewife".  I think that most of these mothers would never have dreamed of "training" their young sons (nor would their peers expect it to be done),  which unfortnately has created a generation of today's husbands that unfortunately can be a tad useless.  I think that our next generation of husbands (our sons) will be so much better prepared when it is their turn as they have had US, the mothers of this generation, taking the life lessons of the wonderful mothers before us and fine tuning them and assisting with the evolvement of husbands.  Whilst we may not ever end up with the mythical perfect husband, I think each generation will only improve on the last.

  • luckymama
    Posts: 94Member
    @Beach_Hippie I fucking love you. That was hilarious and so true!
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