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feeling a little hurt
  • MistressHeidiMistressHeidi
    Posts: 973Member
    Okay, so right now I am feeling a bit hurt and I'm not sure what if anything I should do about it. My xh has a rather large family that I have been a part of since high school. His family is not a close knit family, but they see each other on holidays and things like that. After the divorce I expected some alienation. I wasn't surprised when his brothers stopped talking to me. I have several nieces and nephews through the marriage and even though I have never seen a lot of them, I've always loved them and cared for them. But since the divorce I don't hear from any of them, at all. I know I divorced him, but we were together a long time and a lot of his family meant a lot to me. I just found out my oldest niece graduated from high school today and everyone was there, but me. I feel a bit hurt that I have been shut out like this. I mean on one level I guess I understand. He and I are no longer married, so I'm no longer technically family. I don't understand why this bothering me so much.Is it normal for me to be feeling this way?
  • MommyFaceMommyFace
    Posts: 119Member
    I'm sorry, :( ... I don't have any first hand input... My parents were married nearly 20 years, and my dads sisters still treat Mom like family... That being said, it didn't go back to being that way immediately. If your divorce was fairly recent they may just be giving it a bit of time to settle down? Maybe they don't know how you would feel about them approaching you? I'm sorry your hurting. *hugs* ... I'm sure its pretty normal to feel a little hurt. They were your family too.
  • meandmy243meandmy243
    Posts: 6,356Member
    After my of 10 yrs and i broke up i blocked his family for a year.. It gave me time to process and move on.. Now i have contact with most and people dont talk shit about me any.more..
    mom of wild children
    going to the chapel 7/5/2014
  • LesboMomLesboMom
    Posts: 2,858Confessional Manager
    It could just be a simple respect thing for him from his family. If you are close with them, send them a note. I would send your niece a little card with a nice note telling her that you're proud of her and sorry that you could not be there to see her walk across the stage.

    confessional-manager

    Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow. -- Helen Keller
  • StarsStars
    Posts: 1,054Member
    LesboMom said:

    It could just be a simple respect thing for him from his family. If you are close with them, send them a note. I would send your niece a little card with a nice note telling her that you're proud of her and sorry that you could not be there to see her walk across the stage.



    ^ This and sometimes people are unsure of how to approach the estranged spouse.  Try to connect with those you care about and see what happens.  That's the only way your going to know exactly where you stand.  big hugs I know its so hard.  >:D<
    apsycho

  • PurpleFlowersPurpleFlowers
    Posts: 5,650Member
    I went through this when Dh and I divorced. Fortunately his family told me Id always be family whether I liked it or not. Not sure if thats good or bad. lol. I understand your hurt feelings. Hugs >:D<
    Stay away from my chocolate and nobody gets hurt!

    I think I like who I am becoming...
  • Charlotte_SometimesCharlotte_Sometimes
    Posts: 1,756Member
    It may just be a matter of everyone needing some time.  I agree with @LesboMom, send your niece a card. 

    My mother is still close with her first DIL, my brother's first wife.  They married just out of high school and the reasons for their divorce were pretty much 100% my brother's fault!  My mom and his 1st wife are just as close as ever.  I think it depends on a lot of factors really.
    "But a lesson must be lived
    In order to be learned"

    Ani DiFranco, Manhole
  • shadylaneshadylane
    Posts: 3,037Member
    i haven't experienced this but i would think its totally normal, they were ur family too and u care about them. i would reach out and see how they respond, they might think u don't want to hear from them.
    ~slim shady~
  • LesboMomLesboMom
    Posts: 2,858Confessional Manager
    @shadylane that's a good point

    confessional-manager

    Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow. -- Helen Keller
  • [Deleted User]
    Posts: 7,022
    The user and all related content has been deleted.
    well behaved women seldom make history
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