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Baby Shower Brat
  • miserablewife
    Posts: 19Member
    Anyone??

    Fess up, surely I cannot be the only one who has a major case of the "Whatthefucks" when it comes to not getting what you registered for...

    Before I cut loose and rant, i want to test the waters and see what others say :-) 
  • unforgivenunforgiven
    Posts: 12,715Confessional Manager
    I'm sure you're not the only one either. I didn't really register for other people, more for myself as a reminder of what I planned on getting. Considering I invited about 15 people and 1 showed I was happy to get anything. 

    confessional-manager

    "What looks like torture is a time to rejoice
    What sounds like thunder is a comforting voice
    When what is beautiful looks broken and crushed
    And I say I don't know you
    But you say it's finished"
  • miserablewife
    Posts: 19Member
    I had a decent turn out for my first one- we adopted so a friend threw a shower / meet the new baby thing after we'd been home for about a week. When we found out our little girl was to be ours, we had 2 weeks notice! So, to say we had nothing, and were completely (but very happily!) blind sided is an understatement, and after having to come up with an OBSCENE amount of money for adoption fees, etc...to say we were broke was also an understatement. 

    About 25 people showed up, I registered for all the stuff someone would normally register for, nothing extravagant at all, but stuff that was very, very needed.

    I ended up with LITERALLY 16 pairs of FLEECE pajamas age 6 months and up. I got 1 pack n' play from a group of 4 people. and then stuff like socks. 

    Socks. Socks!! The only thing I got off the registry was the pack n' play. Now, I don't mean to sound like an ungrateful brat, but everyone knew we had been trying to have a family any way we could, and I kept reading so many stories of spur-of-the-moment adoptions and how friends and famly pulled together to help the couple make sure they were all set when the baby came home...so I thought my family would do the same. 

    Which they did...in size 6 month fleece pajamas apparently. My husband and I were screwed. We were completely broke, overwhelmed and our heads spinning from everything happening so quickly that for the entire first year of her life, our daughter slept in a bouncy seat and had clothes, bottles and diapers that we scraped together the money to get her. 

    Flash forward, we're finally pregnant after 8 years of infertility treatments and my friends are throwing me a surprise shower (which I managed to beat out of my husband because he was acting weird and I am type A and hate surprises). I told him that I did not, under any circumstances want a shower because it was inappropriate since I'd just had one. He told me htat 2 of my friends wanted to do it because he's a boy, and our first (and only) bio child. They made him do a registry and he did a pretty darn good job for a guy- and only for stuff that we REALLY could use, and none of it is over $40...

    The shower is Saturday, and not one, single thing has been claimed on it...which has me upset. I'm upset because for our wedding shower- we were regifted someone's hideous dishes and got 1 set of the ones we registered for. I ended up w/ pot holders, crap from the Xmas tree shop, etc. We got basically nothing to help set up house with (we were married at 23 and 24) My cousin, who is getting married in August just had a massive wedding shower last weekend, all the same people who have been at mine, plus the grooms side- and her registry at Pottery Barn, and 2 other high-end stores were completely wiped out a week before the shower. Same with another cousin who is due a month before me...everything on her registry was bought, but for some reason- when it comes to me, I end up with 47 pairs of pajamas! aaargh! After seeing all the insanity for these other cousins, and friends, etc over the years, it's def. got me feeling like an afterthought. And a bit of a brat for secretly feeling this way. 
  • OpheliaOphelia
    Posts: 3,740Member
    I wondered Wtf too. Then I found out my grandmom (she threw a surprise shower) didn't tell anyone I registered cause she knew I would check it to see what I was getting.
    Nothing left to do but smile, smile, smile.. -Grateful Dead<3
  • AKimiBAKimiB
    Posts: 1,812Member
    I'm not one to depend on other people, I scrounged my tips and bought everything I'd REALLY need by 7mos, the babyshower was 2weeks before I gave birth and it was mostly toys, books, and clothes.
    SMSM_s_5 photo SMSM_s_5_zps5d122d86.jpg
  • SassySassy
    Posts: 2,769Member
    My shower sucked. Got hardly anything and nothing off my registry. Some scaries did send me some things off of it though! :)
  • OpheliaOphelia
    Posts: 3,740Member
    I meant to ask a while ago, but forgot @sassy did you get your car mirror thingy?
    Nothing left to do but smile, smile, smile.. -Grateful Dead<3
  • SassySassy
    Posts: 2,769Member
    @Ophelia: no. We moved and I had my mail forwarded but haven't seen it.
  • OpheliaOphelia
    Posts: 3,740Member
    That's weird, it shipped on 4/25. Wonder if it made it to your new post office.
    Nothing left to do but smile, smile, smile.. -Grateful Dead<3
  • [Deleted User]
    Posts: 7,022
    The user and all related content has been deleted.
    well behaved women seldom make history
  • Katescrazymom
    Posts: 1,900Member
    Not to sound like an ungrateful bitch, but yep, I got a lot of wrong size for the season clothes and very similar plastic toys. Gift cards would have been so much more useful.
    Same with our wedding. We'd been living together, so we did have the basics, but I was hoping to replace some of our handmedowns. We got a framed print of oranges. A pair of cheap cotton tab top panel curtains. An unframed tribal-native looking picture. Not registered for any of these things. No where in our house to use those curtains. These people had never been to our house, and they tried to buy us 'art'. Just give nothing.
    I admit it. I was rude and skipped a couple thank you notes.
  • Mommyliciousx4Mommyliciousx4
    Posts: 1,769Member
    Like @MamaTeeRoll said, returns. :-)
  • PigeonPigeon
    Posts: 681Guest
    I didn't do a registry but I did have a list I emailed out to everyone invited. I got none of the things I needed. My shower was almost 2 months after DD was born, they were informed of that BEFORE I had DD and yet...3/4 of the stuff I got were for newborns...GERBER newborn stuff, therefore obscenely tiny even for a 6lb 14oz newborn. Yes I compared her newborn onesies to the gerber onesies and they never would have fit her, even if they'd been given when she was a considered a newborn. The other stuff? 0-3month summer clothing...she was a winter baby....
  • PigeonPigeon
    Posts: 681Guest
    Oh and I got a bunch of open, half used wipes bags, open baby powder, open diaper rash cream...
  • AllOrNothingAllOrNothing
    Posts: 135Member
    @pythia That is awful! Who gives OPEN baby products at a shower? Wow. Just wow. SMH
  • PigeonPigeon
    Posts: 681Guest
    That would be my family. Luckily I have an awesome cousin who gave me her crib since she was done having kids and didn't need it anymore. I was and am, a single mom making crap for pay, so that helped SO much! That's about all I was able to use out of the baby shower gifts. The worst part? Them complaining they never got to see DD in the onesies and outfits they gave us.
  • motherofdragonsmotherofdragons
    Posts: 57Member
    I did okay. I haven't had to buy much in the way of clothes for DD. I got a pack and play, a crib, I haven't had to buy wipes YET and she's three months, I didn't have to buy diapers for the first month. People around here got stuff they knew I'd use. She also got a bunch of socks, but those are more for cute effects than warmth I think. she usually kicks them off as soon as I put them on her. Just like her momma, gettin' in touch with her southern roots of being barefoot all the time. anyway, I really wanted a baby monitor, didn't get one, was a bit broken hearted and can't really afford one on my own, luckily, I found out we won't be moving as soon as I thought so we won't need one anyway. 
  • Charlotte_SometimesCharlotte_Sometimes
    Posts: 1,756Member
    I threw my own shower with my firstborn.  Yeah I know, you aren't' supposed to do that but whatever, I did it anyway, because I knew it wouldn't happen otherwise.  My mother was being all hateful about me being pregnant (I was 19 and not married)... my friends were a bit distant... so I threw my own shower.  It was a long time ago so I dont' remember all the details but my friends did go in on a super nice carseat for me and that was good since I never could have afforded one that nice on my own.

    My second baby was born almost six  years later and I'd gotten rid of all the baby stuff from DS#1 but I pretty much bought my own stuff and by that time I had discovered some awesome second-hand specialty stores for baby stuff so I bought what I wanted.  Biggest expense was fancy cloth diapers but they were well worth the money and lasted until he was potty trained. :)

    I shouldn't get started on the issue of my wedding... ugh.  DW and I waited almost 8 years to be able to be legally married and had to travel from Texas to Iowa to do it.   I never had anything but a courthouse wedding the 1st time around so it wasn't like people had already "done that" with me... and still, we got one gift from DW's childhood friends in Iowa who came to the wedding (she grew up there)... I was not expecting gifts from those who put the $$ out to travel to Iowa.   We had an at-home reception though to celebrate w/all those that couldn't make the trip and we received exactly one gift, some bookends from a discount store.  And a few cards. Like 3 or 4 out of 75 people in attendance.  I was pretty shocked.  Still am, kinda.   All the people we know are financially okay.. and a card is what, $3?

    The most hurtful, I think, was the family that ignored the wedding totally, couldn't be bothered to RSVP, much less send a card.  And I feel bratty for saying any of this but yes, it hurt.  
    "But a lesson must be lived in order to be learned" Ani DiFranco, Manhole
    "Screw you guys! I'm going home." Eric Cartman
  • bombkittybombkitty
    Posts: 306Member
    With my oldest, we didn't really know a lot of ppl cause we were military and kind of new to the base, I was on night shift, too.  But my 6 (male) co-workers bought me a new carseat, which was awesome!  Everything else was hand me downs from my best friend and clearance/goodwill.  8 years later, one of my friends from work shook down the workcenter and threw a great little shower.  I love her so much for that!!  My youngest was born 18 mos later, so I didn't want a shower.  I've been blessed with great friends. I never did register for anything.
    Let me say though, I have gotten some weird baby gifts.  Like outfits with sweaters in AZ, WTF?
  • Jjva
    Posts: 47Member
    Ok, I'm just throwng this out there....I'm not saying it applies to any of you all....but when I am invited to a baby shower and I look at the registry, two things greatly annoy me. 1. A bunch of really expensive things....e.g. Hardly anything is under about $75. 2. Only really inexpensive things...e.g. Ten zillion things in the $1 - $5 range. For good friends and family, I will spend in the $100-$200 range for a shower gift, but for so so friends and distant relatives, I'm going to spend probably $50. If I can't find anything on your registry for that approx amount and/or if I have to buy and wrap 15 things to give you a decent present, I'm going to go off registry. Because at that point you just annoyed me.
    Yeah, I'm kind od a bitch that way though.
  • fatchickonabikefatchickonabike
    Posts: 5,638Member
    This doesn't just happen with registries. Every Christmas and birthday, both sides of the family ask me for gift suggestions for DD, which they then proceed to ignore. If you're just going to get whatever you want anyway, why are you asking me for suggestions? Just do your thing and save me the trouble of making a damn list! Grrrr.
    "The most essential gift for a good writer is a built-in, shock-proof bullshit detector.” - Ernest Hemingway
  • wtfwit
    Posts: 220Member
    I've never been one to wait for people to take care of things, so by my due date i had bought all the big things. I couldn't afford a crib so i bought a playpen w the changing table thingy attachment n baby clothes here and there. I had baby showers for all 3 of my kids and I got great gifts. Never believed in registering for anything because that just takes the fun and surprise out of it. I think maybe people are offended by the fact your TELLING them what to get you?? idk but me personally I just dont have the time patience to go and see what is on the registry lol. I appreciate everything I got from my showers.. which was mostly pampers and lotions and clothes. Guess I got lucky! lol
  • wtfwit
    Posts: 220Member
    Oh!! But 1 thing that gets me about showers & bday parties, why would you even show up if your not taking a gift? I hate that!! My sil hs 4 girls and at xmas we get to mil house and she isnt there. She says ohhhh! ya she isnt coming.. she doesnt have any $$ so she didnt wna come..... SOOOO Y THE FUCK DIDNT ANYONE TELL US THIS HMMM A MONTH AGO ATLEAST?? I have no problem buying my nieces but we bought for them 2 piece of shits too. So the minute we get home n kids and hub are laying down, I check her fb... her and him have brand new throwback greenbay packer jerseys they bought ea other.. sad.. just sad.... to this day evtime i see her she says she has to get us xmas presents lmfao really??? she has already missed 5 of her niece n nephew bday parties.
  • AnonUser35
    Posts: 543Guest
    Since I was a single mom with my oldest, my parents and I bought all the larger things I needed (stroller, baby bed, car seat, high chair, pack n play). My shower gifts were about 50% registry items. No bad! And I don't think I had to return too many things, only duplicates. For my youngest, I was married so we had a baby shower for family and very close friends only (mostly his family since mine participated in the first). I did not register for that shower.
  • beachmommybeachmommy
    Posts: 2,671Member

    We registered for an expensive stroller/ travel system, but we didn't expect anyone to get it for us - we did it bc the store offered a discount on anything that was left on our registry after the baby was born.

    Just a little note for those who get annoyed at expensive shit on a registry.....

    My beach is still Sandy....
  • SassySassy
    Posts: 2,769Member
    @Ophelia, I don't know... We have gotten our other mail that has been forwarded, and a couple of packages at our house already so I have no idea. I saw it was taken on the registry, but I kind of assumed it had been returned because of the address mess.
  • momofalmost3momofalmost3
    Posts: 49Member
    @beachmommy What store does that? I'm working on my registry now. I didnt have a shower with my son because I was 17 and didnt think it was "right" So I dont really care if I get anything off the registry or not Im just happy to have the experiance of having a shower and the ability to get the things I need on my own.  :)
  • Jjva
    Posts: 47Member
    @beachmommy.....just for clarification, I only get annoyed when it's ONLY expensive shit. :)
  • miserablewife
    Posts: 19Member
    I'm SO glad i'm not the only one who feels this way! I honestly thought I did, since NO ONE will fess up in person to having sour grapes about registered gifts / freestyle gifts. For me personally, I always stick to a persons registry and have a blank $100 policy when it comes to wedding / baby gifting. If there's nothing but odds and ends, or stuff way over my budget, then they get a $100 gift card to whatever store or stores they're registered at. 

    I'm SO dreading tomorrow. I'm having anxiety about it. I really, really don't want to go. Partially because I'm a whale right now, and incredibly hormonal and DONT want to be stared at, I don't want anyone to think this was my idea, because I wanted no part of it, and I don't want to sit up there and have to come up with new ways on the fly of hiding my dssappointment, lol. 
  • mamaofboysmamaofboys
    Posts: 418Member
    I registered for our wedding and can't complain about the gifts we received. For my first DS I registered as well and I did have a bunch of things to return. Like small winter clothes for a late spring baby and things I didn't register for because I knew I wouldn't use them.

    @momofalmost3 I believe Babies R Us offers a discount on items still on a registry, at least they used to...

    @fatchickonabike that happens to me every Christmas and birthday with my MIL. Really bugs me, too.
    Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery and today is a gift; that's why they call it the present.
  • miserablewife
    Posts: 19Member
    @wtfwit

    (love your name, btw) I TOTALLY agree! Stay home, make up an excuse and dont come! Because even though you think no one noticed that you showed up w/o a present, EVERYONE notices and yes, we all cluck and tsk tsk about it behind the persons back. How much of a cheapskate are you that you can't pony up $20 for something and if you just can't swing it that week- call out sick from it. 
  • jaelaraejaelarae
    Posts: 30Member
    Just a suggestion for kids' birthdays and xmas... my family uses Amazon "wish list" for all gift giving occasions. You can add non-Amazon.com items to the list, too... basically anything on the internet. I keep a running list with the random things that DD needs and if I buy if for her myself in the meantime I just take it off the list. Not stuff like diapers, but a snowsuit for next winter, for example. It works great for us!
  • beachmommybeachmommy
    Posts: 2,671Member

    @momofalmost3 - buy buy baby gives 10% off anything left on your registry.  They also send out coupons in the mail all the time for 20% off one item, AND they take Bed Bath and Beyond coupons too (as long as they are not expired).

    Soooo... My stroller/travel system was $1,200, discounted 30% by the time all was said and done bc they gave the 10% off on TOP of the 20% off coupons.

    My beach is still Sandy....
  • momsaidnomomsaidno
    Posts: 1,801Member
    @momofalmost3 - Toys R Us, Target and Walmart. but not all Walmart's have a in store registry.

  • wtfwit
    Posts: 220Member
    miserablewife said:

    @wtfwit



    (love your name, btw) I TOTALLY agree! Stay home, make up an excuse and dont come! Because even though you think no one noticed that you showed up w/o a present, EVERYONE notices and yes, we all cluck and tsk tsk about it behind the persons back. How much of a cheapskate are you that you can't pony up $20 for something and if you just can't swing it that week- call out sick from it. 

    Aww thanks!! I like your name too! hehe.....YEPPERS!!! Don't get me wrong I'm super cheap!! $20 gift fr me means I like you lmao.... But it's not the price that counts... something practical would be great.. not eat my food AND take a plate w/out even buying a $7 store brand pack of pampers for my lil one.... but take whore pics at the club n post them on fb the next day.. thought you wer broke till payday??? sorry sorry keep going back to the same bitch lol  And yes I have been broke and not went to something for that reason.. and the next time I saw that person... I had a gift for them
  • momof4momof4
    Posts: 323Member
    hey be glad that you at least got a baby shower!! NO ONE planned one for any of my 4 children :-(
    but yeah ppl should at least try and buy the stuff you did ask for. I know my daughters will get baby showers for sure just not to soon. I can't wait to throw one for them :-)   hopefully in about 8 years at the earliest. oldest be 24 by then...lol
  • AnonUser35
    Posts: 543Guest
    @momofalmost3 - Babies R Us gives 20% off everything left on your registry (at least they did 2 1/2 years ago when I was pregnant).
  • ClassicalMama
    Posts: 50Member
    My worked pooled together and got me a bouncy seat and a playpen, which was super nice, and so thoughtful.

    My family and friends almost didn't throw me a shower, and gave me sweet-eff-all. Oh, thanks for 1 sleeper! wow! that will be so helpful! a frilly dress for a newborn! hell yah! DH and I were so broke at the time, we scounged together every last cent and bought everything send hand... then got snickered at for having cheap / used stuff from my richy-rich SIL... 

    Unless they really care about you, most people just give crap, they don't think or care, they just want to get something they think is cute / cheap. That's been my experience at every shower
  • shate98shate98
    Posts: 3,146Member
    I didn't take issue with freestyling for baby gifts. You know, women love to buy baby clothes, esp if it's a girl (I had a boy). My $$ on the gift depends on the level of friendship. I always look at the registry, too- just to make sure I'm in the right color scheme/taste/needs.

    The best gift I ever gave was to my oldest and dearest friend. I bought her a small laundry basket for baby's laundry. And I filled it with as much stuff related to bedtime as I could. Books, binkies, onsies, crib sheets, blankets, luvies. She was very hard up at the time and I wanted to make things better for her. I also bought her 400 diapers when the baby was born.

    But I've also given just a few outfits and some items off of a registry for people I don't know as well.


    My issue with my baby shower was related to the "hosts". My aunts volunteered to host the shower, but I had to do all of the invitations. They threw a fit over the number of guests (50 invites, 30 attending).  They insisted on serving food that I couldn't eat and got pissed when I didn't eat it. Made me decorate and it was at my place. Wish I had just hosted it myself and saved myself all of the stress and arguments. ya know?
    "As you wander through your life, whatever be your goal,
    keep your eye upon the doughnut, not upon the hole."
  • AnonUser28
    Posts: 2,083Guest

    YOU ARE ALL A BUNCH OF BRATS!!!!

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    >:) just kidding, just kidding! Please don't hit me!! b-(
  • Charlotte_SometimesCharlotte_Sometimes
    Posts: 1,756Member
    momofalmost3 said:

    @beachmommy What store does that? I'm working on my registry now. I didnt have a shower with my son because I was 17 and didnt think it was "right" So I dont really care if I get anything off the registry or not Im just happy to have the experiance of having a shower and the ability to get the things I need on my own.  :)



    That was my family when I had my firstborn.  Didn't want to be "encouraging" my teen mother thing.  I mean, really... at that point it was solidified that he was coming and I was keeping him so the attitude, IMO, was just pissy and hurtful.
    "But a lesson must be lived in order to be learned" Ani DiFranco, Manhole
    "Screw you guys! I'm going home." Eric Cartman
  • serenitynowserenitynow
    Posts: 2,178Member

    i got alot of the stuff off of my registry for my shower which was great because i wasn't really expecting anything.

    my MIL was supposed to buy me a travel system (i hadn't registered for one because of that and i also wasn't going to be picky since she was going to buy it). but, for some reason, she never ended up getting me it and i got some lame excuses and instead she gave me a carseat from a thrift store (which also happened to be about 7yrs expired, not too mention recalled!!) and no stroller. since i had nothing else for when my baby was born, i had to use it. but about 3 weeks later, i went to walmart and bought the travel system i wanted, even though i had to make my checking account negative. but i didn't care because i knew my baby was safe and i was happy and i didn't give a rat's ass if her feelings were hurt because she hurt mine way more!

    and it's not the fact that she didn't get me it, even though she said she would, it's the fact that she just didn't come out and say she wasn't going to and it made me feel insulted that she got me some old, RECALLED piece of shit like i should be happy and appreciative.   well, i wasn't. i woulda been happier with nothing.

     

  • Beach_HippieBeach_Hippie
    Posts: 126Member
    My good friend B,  a 1st time mom at 23 years old, filled her registry with expensive, designer brand, cutsie shit that wouldn't be practical on a day-to-day basis...there's no way I'm shelling out $75 for a baby quilt made of Thai silk and hand-beaded by temple virgins. Fuck. You. I don't care if it's the "focal point" of the Arabian Nights theme nursery. I thought that was a stupid idea too.

    I know it's counter-intuitive...but maybe women who are pregnant and obviously frequenting the loose-gravel back roads of hormonally induced insanity should not be allowed to fill out baby registries. I know there's a grey area where "need" and "aaaaaaw that's so cute!" bleed over...but really??

    I didn't get her anything she asked for. I got her 2 packs of onsies that can be shit on, puked on and in a pinch, can used to wipe a screaming baby's ass in a shopping mall bathroom when the wipes aren't in the bag like they're supposed to be. (personal experience) I got her some small, but absorbent flannel baby blankets that are good for kitchen sink bathing, naps, swaddling, covering and bolstering. I got her a care package full of diapers, wipes, ointments, powders, soaps and creams, a variety pack of batteries for all of the various battery-powered baby gadgets she is destined to own, some gas remedy, a thermometer tape, a package of hair ties for her perma-ponytail since that's the most complicated hairstyle she's going to be able to manage for the next 120 days and a canvas multi-pocket tool apron from Home Depot to tie around her waist to carry all of her shit around in because she's now a mother of a newborn and still only has 2 hands.

    Yeah, she didn't get a lot of the ridiculous crap she thought she'd need, but when I go over to visit, I see her using almost everything I got her. She might complain about my gift, I'll probably never know, but I do know that she got her husband a tool apron of his own so he'd stop taking hers.
  • Charlotte_SometimesCharlotte_Sometimes
    Posts: 1,756Member
    @Beach-Hippie -- LMAO at "baby quilt made of Thai silk and hand-beaded by temple virgins"!
    "But a lesson must be lived in order to be learned" Ani DiFranco, Manhole
    "Screw you guys! I'm going home." Eric Cartman
  • tothemoonandbacktothemoonandback
    Posts: 2,285Member
    I had a teeny tiny shower, so I knew not to expect much.. most things I got were what the gifters thought were a 'better' version of what I actually put on the registry.  
    Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius, and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring. - Marilyn Monroe
  • Newb
    Posts: 257Member

    I don't intend for this to come off as rude as it probably will, but it is nobody's responsiblity to buy you crap for your kid.  Showers are nice ways to celebrate the new addition, but nobody is required to bring a gift or select said gift off a registry.  If you are really hell bent on having something for your baby, don't rely on others to get if for you.  I am not going to go as far as saying that if you can't afford even the basics for your kid you shouldn't have one, but I am going to say that you should not rely on anyone to provide for it. 

    I know it must have been a slap in the face to see all of your other friends and family members receive expensive gifts from their registries, but maybe it's personal.  If you are complaining about gifts people didn't have to buy you on a public web forum full of complete strangers, there is no telling what you said to your friends and relatives.  Sorry, I don't feel sorry for you one bit.  If you want something for your baby, buy it yourself.  Otherwise, be greatful people thought of you at all and either appreciate or donate the gifts you received.

  • Newb
    Posts: 257Member
    wtfwit said:

    Oh!! But 1 thing that gets me about showers & bday parties, why would you even show up if your not taking a gift? I hate that!! My sil hs 4 girls and at xmas we get to mil house and she isnt there. She says ohhhh! ya she isnt coming.. she doesnt have any $$ so she didnt wna come..... SOOOO Y THE FUCK DIDNT ANYONE TELL US THIS HMMM A MONTH AGO ATLEAST?? I have no problem buying my nieces but we bought for them 2 piece of shits too. So the minute we get home n kids and hub are laying down, I check her fb... her and him have brand new throwback greenbay packer jerseys they bought ea other.. sad.. just sad.... to this day evtime i see her she says she has to get us xmas presents lmfao really??? she has already missed 5 of her niece n nephew bday parties.



    Sorry, I completely disagree with this.  First of all, if gifts are a requirement to attend a party or shower, then state it on the invitation.  Secondly, it is nobody's business what a person spends their own money on.  It's sad that your SIL felt she had to have a gift/money to attend a family holiday function and didn't attend because she didn't want to be the odd one out.  And, unless you were there when they bought their jerseys or have access to their finances, you have no idea if they actually purchased them.  Maybe they were a gift from another friend or family member but they were too ashamed to admit that. 

    Sorry, I don't mean to be an asshole, but I really hate how people are more focused on gifts and less focused on celebrating with their loved ones.  Of course you want to bring a gift to a wedding or baby shower, but is that really the most important thing about those events? 

  • irishlassirishlass
    Posts: 6,788Member
    I got thrown a baby shower at school! It was excellent! A group of girls pooled together and bought me baby monitors. Some got little teddies and a couple of outfits. Baby showers are really the norm here, so it was truly awesome!
    "Be who you are and say what you feel. Because those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter." - Dr. Seuss
  • DemandaDemanda
    Posts: 4,628Member
    I had some sour grapes because my family didn't bother to throw me one, yet they threw a huge one for my sister who had her twins 4 months before I had my son.  My friends didn't bother either, and that hurt too.  My BFF who has been known to be flaky said she was throwing one, but it never materialized.  I'm over it now, but it hurt at the time.  My cowworkers did throw me a surprise one though and that was really sweet.  I wasn't registered obviously but I got some awesome stuff - a swing,  his mobile which he ended up loving for years,  tons of diapers and wipes, some sleepers, etc.  I don't think I didn't use anything I was given, the lady who threw it was a Mom & Grandma and I think she guided everyone.  

    We did register for our wedding, we knew some people wouldn't buy from it and we were more than glad with that - it was more for distant family members who didn't have a clue. I have the world's coolest toaster thanks to my wedding registry, and I still use the towels and dishes. We registered for some stuff we knew we'd never get either, like ridiculously expensive stereo equipment and furniture... just in case!  Most off the off-registry stuff we really liked, we got a lot of cash and few people gave us weed which was...uh... unexpected but appreciated.  My cousin got us a beautiful clock which wasn't at all on the registry, but I love it, a friend gave us a gorgeous platter that she saw and said it "looked like me."  Another friend gave me 4 each of gigantic red and white wine glasses.  I only have one white one and two red ones still intact, but they are still the glasses I reach for first.  There were a few others, but those stick out as my favourite gifts.  I love that I got these things instead of the stuff we registered for.
    "The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off." ~ Gloria SteinemPhotobucket
  • Charlotte_SometimesCharlotte_Sometimes
    Posts: 1,756Member
    I know that there is no requirement to give a gift for any event.

    I was raised, however, to never show up empty handed.  And at the very very least, to send or bring  a card if that's all you could afford.  Just how I was raised.  I remember attending weddings and showers when i was in my 20s and broke and I remember buying just a few hand towels on a registry because I couldn't afford more than that.

     But from my own experience only I know that I spent time and money participating in friends' weddings, anniversary parties, baby showers, etc. and to have a major event "blown off" by people you thought cared is hurtful.   I never would have blown these people off in the same way and to me the bigger issue is about responding and acknowledging and being happy for someone in a genuine fashion, vs. gifts. 

    When you can't even bring a card for the person to have later in a keepsake album it just kind of says "Ok I'm here for the food", IMO.  
    "But a lesson must be lived in order to be learned" Ani DiFranco, Manhole
    "Screw you guys! I'm going home." Eric Cartman
  • Norasmom
    Posts: 4Member
    Oh man, I was just so darn happy at my shower to FINALLY not be puking all day it was great.  The one gift I really wanted, I got from my DH...a baby girl.  Oh, and he also got me a really expensive stroller, because I wanted it.  His reaction, of course was..."what's a Bugaboo...and its how much????!!"   As for my shower, I didn't register for anything.  Gifts are gifts.  I just wanted everyone to have fun buying whatever they wanted and have a great time at my shower.  
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