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Is every guy a douche?
  • lolafllolafl
    Posts: 223Member

    I feel like Charlotte from Sex and The City.  "I've been dating since I was 16.  I'm exhausted! Where is he, already?!?!"

    This new guy was awesome at first, real gentleman, la la la.  Now - 6 whole weeks later, he's always busy doing something else.  I haven't seen him in a week and a half, he's cancelled last minute the last 3 times we were supposed to get together and he hasn't even made any of the fucking plans - I had to ask him!  

    He calls me his GF & says he's my BF but talking on the phone a few times a day and sexy text messages just don't make it in my book.  We only live 45 minutes apart.  I'm fed up.  I know I should just calmly tell him I need more attention but my idea of confrontation is ripping someone's head off.  I'm so not good at calmly expressing my emotions especially when guys never seem to thing they're doing anything wrong.  Ready to just dump his ass.

  • [Deleted User]
    Posts: 7,052
    The user and all related content has been deleted.
    well behaved women seldom make history
  • BellaBefanaBellaBefana
    Posts: 8,207Member
    In a word, yes.  Take it from someone who's been around the block more than a few times: yes, you do need to sit down and talk especially if he's referring to you as his "girlfriend," because he's CLEARLY not treating you that way.  What's that movie?  "He's just not that into you."  That's what it sounds like to me, and you deserve so much more.  

    The other thing you could try is a little hard to get...don't return his calls/texts and above all don't YOU be the one to make plans.  See what happens there, he'll either respond they way you want, or he'll continue to blow you off.  Either way at least you'll have your answer...
    Bite me, cupcake!
  • jezebeldelilahjezebeldelilah
    Posts: 338Member
    I am probably not the best person to be giving relationship advice. I have the worst taste in men. I do know you should feel desired and if he is acting distant and cancelling you just need to ask him what's up. Write down what you want to ask him. When you call him stick to your notes. Idk why men get so defensive if you point out things they are doing you don't like. They cannot handle any "criticism". You deserve to be happy and treated right. Good luck!
  • katz_meowkatz_meow
    Posts: 4,256Member
    Short answer. YES. 

    Seriously, though, IMO, if you're feeling that you aren't getting the attention you deserve then a discussion is in order.  I'm like you though, in the not so calmly discussing department.  I usually just let the anger/frustration build until I explode.  Usually not pretty.  But I do think you should let your frustration be known.  And if he can't or is unwilling to fix the problem, time to move on.  You DO deserve to be with someone who wants to spend time with you.
    Judgement comes in many forms but never scarce or shy
  • missmama5missmama5
    Posts: 3,586Member
    No, not EVERY guys is a total douche, but from my experience they all have the Douche Gene. Put up with it, and that's what you will get. Unfortunately, sometimes you have got to be a bit of a douche yourself if you want to be taken seriously by men. My husband can be a DB but hell, he knows I will put him in his place if need be there is a fine, fine line around here and if he starts walking it I WILL push him off into the hot molten lava. This little lady doesn't put up with bullshit, I deserve more! So, demand more :D
  • shadylaneshadylane
    Posts: 3,071Member
    if he wanted to spend time with u, he would. that's what it comes down to. sounds to me like he's a player, but maybe give him another chance, talk to him and tell him u need more than what ur getting, and if he doesn't step it up then be done with it. don't insist he make plans with u, after u talk to him just sit back and see if he makes any effort. let him pursue u. at least u haven't invested very much time in him.  
    ~slim shady~
  • lolafllolafl
    Posts: 223Member

    I ignored his call last night & all day today.  He must have called 4-5 times today.  That's not the issue, though as he always calls me to talk on the phone - it's the face to face time I'm not getting. 

    I called him back tonight & then got his voice mail.  Okay, guess 2 can play that game!  I talked to my exBF today & got his opinion.  Ex said BF's being a player, too.  It was good to get a guy's opinion but I'm not sure how much weight to put into it since my ex wants me back. 

    Anyway, I plan on telling him I'm unhappy with his lack of attention & ask him where he sees us going.  Let's see what happens besides me crying because as much as I hate it, I always do.

  • TheHeadacheslayer
    Posts: 2,775Member
    Not all guys are. They're more like.....goldfish. They forget easily : /

    I love my husband. We've been together for 24 yrs (20 of marriage in the fall). We have 2 amazing kids. 

    But but but.

    Sometimes I want to smack him in his sleep.

    I guess I should rephrase--all guys have their moments. NO guy is perfect. Some are better than others. But don't ever settle (and yeah there are even times I think I did, but that's not often). YOU deserve someone who LOVES, RESPECTS and wants to be with you.

    He (or she....hey, just saying!) is out there. Keep the hope alive!!
  • lolafllolafl
    Posts: 223Member

    I talked to BF this afternoon & he said a lot of the things I was expecting him to. "I've been busy with the lawyer re: his DD", etc.  But he also said a lot of things I didn't expect like "I'm sorry I made you feel like you aren't important to me because you are." "I thought keeping you in the loop was enough (ie: calling me several times a day)." "Thank you for telling me - I can't fix it if I don't know."

    He asked me to go out Monday or Tuesday & spend the day with our kids on Saturday.  He probably would have asked for more but I told him I have to study for taking my boards on the 15th and really need to work hard on those.

    He seemed very open & sorry for making me feel neglected.  I'll give him another chance but I'm not sticking around for yet another guy to screw me over.

    I just don't understand how he could NOT know that not seeing me for almost 2 weeks would upset me.  Are guys really that dense?

  • [Deleted User]
    Posts: 7,052
    The user and all related content has been deleted.
    well behaved women seldom make history
  • [Deleted User]
    Posts: 7,052
    The user and all related content has been deleted.
    well behaved women seldom make history
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