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feeling hopeless
  • Babymakesthree
    Posts: 496Member
    This is all very stupud but I can't change how I feel.
    Basically DH went to another state about 5 days ago to see family and apply for jobs. The goal is for him to get a job there where it is nicer, cleaner, and cheaper and after saving for a little and getting an apartment me and the kids move out there. So I knew this when he left and the day before he left we were fighting, hell the day he left we were fighting because he kept saying "when I get paid I need to buy such and such" and I would say "why would you buy that when youre trying to save money? the more you buy the longer until me and the kids can be reunited with you". Then he would be angryasking if I think he is stupid he isnt going to buy everything he wants, he isjust talking about it. But I am almost 3mo preg and pregnancy contributes greatly to my already severe anxiety and he knos this, and my greatest fear is him not saving up and me and kids not getting out there.
    Originally the agreement was he has 2wks to find a job then I will send him his check from herein cali and he can come home and just get a second job. But he is talking about getting a part time job out there working the same hrs he gets out here and continuing to apply for another p/t or f/t job.
    I am just feeling overwhelmed, not quite constanttly sick but the meds dont help much and Ive been losing weight but baby is still fine. Chasint my 3 1/2yr old and nearly 2yr old around, both have barely slept since he left and dd is acting out all day every day since the day he left and I feel like I am yelling too much and not catering to their missing their daddy who I miss too. They talk to him 1-2x a day and I talk to him same amount he is always busy filling out apps or with fam and I feel like I am bugging him. Ihave been crying all day which I am attributing to being pregnant and the svere painful tooth infection I. have and my dentist no longer takes my insurance which is a whole nother rant.

    anyways Idk what the point of this is I am just lonely depressed and feel incapable of takin care of my little ones right now I am so sick of being the glue and trying to talk to him, he gets upset because he cant do anything abtt my feelings but the ass doesnt realize letting me talk abt it without getting upset would help!
  • Babymakesthree
    Posts: 496Member
    and he will be gone for our anniversary.
  • shadylaneshadylane
    Posts: 3,037Member
    Aww that sucks, I would be emotional too being pregnant and missing him especially on our anniversary. I hope he realizes u just need him to understand and validate ur feelings. Of course u would be anxious about him being away and not knowing when u will be together again.
    ~slim shady~
  • Babymakesthree
    Posts: 496Member
    @shadylane thanks I have been tryong to talk to him and he has made an effort to actually call me today. Just found out I have to get 2 teeth pulled on Thursday, unfortunately I can only pay a sitter for the procedure so Iwill have zero recoupperation time but I am trying o think of how great it will be when we are living in arizona and I have no tooth pain cause I can't hadle another day of crying all day.
  • shadylaneshadylane
    Posts: 3,037Member
    He sounds like he will try to get u there as soon as he can, I know its hard when u have to just put ur faith in someone else and u have no control over ur own life. He has to understand how nerve wracking that would be.
    ~slim shady~
  • chaosmomchaosmom
    Posts: 3,834Member
    I'm sorry you are having a tough time right now. Anxiety just makes things 1000x worse and pregnancy hormones on top of it...I would be crying too. Just make sure you let him know that you just need reassurance right now that it is all going to be ok & that he will bust his ass to get you & the kids with him asap. Hugs momma. Hang in there.
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