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Does every relationship go through a sex slump?
  • MorganD
    Posts: 3,451Member
    We've been together for over 3 years, we're finally living together, have a beautiful son in addition to my 2 from my previous marriage. Lately, we don't have sex very much. Twice a week if I'm lucky. He's awesome in bed and I can't get enough...which leads to the problem of not getting enough! Does every relationship go through a slump?
  • boring_nameboring_name
    Posts: 667Member
    Yes. I believe almost all relationships go through ups and downs in a variety of aspects. Sex being one. 


    B
  • AnonUser33
    Posts: 743Guest
    YES!!!
  • deviltwinsmommadeviltwinsmomma
    Posts: 2,388Member
    OHHHH YEAHHH.. twice a week wtf! damn girl consider yourself lucky.. and im jealous!!
    my mother used to sing me a song. It went like this: "Life is short, life is shit, and soon it will be over.
  • MorganD
    Posts: 3,451Member
    We just used to be so crazy passionate! I would have sore muscles every day and smile on my face, but now if I bring up that we don't as much anymore, he feels like I'm saying he isn't enough for me. Wth? I love him!
  • pdxmama
    Posts: 1,470Member
    I wish twice a week was a slump in my house, lol. But to answer your question, yes, all relationships go through ebbs and flows where sex is concerned.
  • JenInHeels
    Posts: 101Member
    Seriously, twice a week is crazy!  My DH and I havent done it in 6 months.  That is slump my friend.
  • ChristyJChristyJ
    Posts: 902Member
    Twice a month, if he is lucky here.  Twice a week is great for three kids, especially with one of them a 3 year old.
    Imperfect and proud of it.
  • meandmy243meandmy243
    Posts: 6,631Member
    Stress the fact were never home at the same time... I was home sick and.took advantage of it.today... First time in 4 weeks... And our anniversary was tuesday...
    mom of wild children
    going to the chapel 7/5/2014
  • MsKitty
    Posts: 9Member
    I'm glad that I'm not the only one who thinks twice a week is lucky. Your living like a porn star compared to me. I just came off of a one month slump.
  • nessamommynessamommy
    Posts: 671Member
    yes. we've been together for 3, and almost 2 years married, and we go through ups and downs all the time. Usually its me, and I definitely miss the beginning stages when we were both nymphos and did it multiple times a night every night.
    If life gives you lemons, squirt lemon juice in life's eye!
  • mericksmom
    Posts: 388Member
    Slump it happens.  There have been MONTHS in between and let me just say it is best to get to know you and your body and invest in a BOB.    I am happy if I get it once a week, I would love it if he would be able to keep up with me too because I am insatiable and constantly want him. 

    I can mess up your self esteem because he is turning you away and it hurts.  I been down those wicked spirals and they are NO FUN.  Most of the time it is just him and hormones.
  • SisyphusSisyphus
    Posts: 873Member
    Yes.
  • SpringSpring
    Posts: 1,541Member
    I vote yes! I'm hoping once our kid gets a little older and more independent it will be different. But shes four and we want another... Soo. I dunno. At the end of the day, we're both so drained that passionate love is not topping my list. Love: of course. Just more like cuddle, hold hands, talk over wine, love. Instead of the old passionate, hot love. I'm sure it comes back eventually.
    "Sometimes I question my sanity. Sometimes it replies."
  • MorganD
    Posts: 3,451Member
    nessamommy said:

    yes. we've been together for 3, and almost 2 years married, and we go through ups and downs all the time. Usually its me, and I definitely miss the beginning stages when we were both nymphos and did it multiple times a night every night.



    Yeah, that was us, for a long time. And I don't think I really expected it to last forever...I think I was just hoping that it would a least last for another five years, when my libido slowed down a little.lol I constantly want him. I read 50 Shades and automatically started ticking off things I thought he would and wouldn't want to try. I do love the cuddle and talk and just enjoy each other love, but I don't want to be the couple that only has sex twice a year. With 3 kids, it is tough, and he loves my 2 boys just like he loves our DS1, and I love him for that. He's an amazing man. I'm very lucky. I just want to get luckier. Several more times a week. :)
  • Chicalatina
    Posts: 19Member
    You are lucky.. my H and I have been married for 6 months and we have sex once a month..it is pretty sad because i don't know wtf is going on?..
  • stinkersmommystinkersmommy
    Posts: 1,388Member
    @Chicalatina your dh might be going thru the holycrapsheismywifenotmydate freak out...some newlywed guys go thru this mental adjustment phase when they switch gears and forget that you are the same woman before I do that you are now after but put you on a pedestal and think you are too special to treat like a sexual object and it puts the sexy time in a bit of a slump. It will get back to freaky once it hits him that A. You are the same gal and B. He misses it
    Glitter Words
    [Glitterfy.com - *Glitter Words*]
  • missmama5missmama5
    Posts: 4,104Member
    @MorganD I will gladly hump you whenever you require humping :\"> :D
    I think all relationships have a little down time now and again especially with kids around. Twice a week is still not terrible! Once a month on the other hand.....I can't even have sex, haven't for over a month and can't until after I pop this kid out in 5 months. I am severely jealous of your twice a week booty.
  • MorganD
    Posts: 3,451Member
    @missmama5 This was a while ago.lol He was going through one of his funks and I had to let him figure it out, but lucky me, it didn't last much longer after I posted this. (And thank you, it's nice to know I have options when he's having a funk. ;) )
  • missmama5missmama5
    Posts: 4,104Member
    @MorganD oh jeez lol now I feel sheepish. I should always check the dates on posts. Pregnancy brain.
    Glad you're getting some! Thumbs up!
  • MorganD
    Posts: 3,451Member
    @missmama5 No worries!
  • AnonUser27
    Posts: 1,742Guest
    I'm still stuck on the twice a week thing. Between work schedules and the fact that I'd be happy if DD slept in our bed only twice a week, I can't see it happening.
  • MorganD
    Posts: 3,451Member
    @MassHysteria Oh, wow, there isn't even room in our bed for kids.lol But we are both students, so after studying and deal with kids until 8pm, we have until 10 to do adult things.lol At 10, we're both too freaking tired to bother. :D
  • AnonUser27
    Posts: 1,742Guest
    Exactly. A gold star for going at it twice a week.
  • MorganD
    Posts: 3,451Member
    @masshysteria yay! Lol
  • Smedd
    Posts: 7Member

    For those getting it twice a week..more power to you.

    Were in a long slump...so far twice since December.

    Question, how long should sex last?, How long is too long, (duration) and how short is too short..10 mins.??

  • Sabzzy
    Posts: 677Member
    We didn't start hitting a slump until year 4-5ish of being together, but it happens sometimes. We always aim for at least 3 or 4 times a week and hit our goal, but sometimes it simply doesn't happen. 

    I'd like it 6 times a week at a minimum, but with both of us working full time and a young child...Not so easy. My stress level is very low and energy/focus level is very high when we're getting it in every day :D

    I'm also prone to headaches and they seem to be a rarity when we're having lots of sex. I have to remind myself of this when I just don't wanna though. 
    We buy things we don't need
    With money we don't have
    To impress people we don't like
  • episcopal
    Posts: 1,482Member
    @Smedd, I think it just depends on the couple and the context. 
  • kmttux
    Posts: 2Member
    DH and I have been married for 5 years but together for almost 10 years now and yes we have/are going through a slump right now but we are working on getting out of it. We also feel like we have lost touch with each other has husband and wife and that might be part of it. With our own 3 year old we embraced being parents and maybe too much for that matter. We are trying to have in home date nights after DD goes down for the night, and we are going to try and go out about once a month without DD to find us as a couple again.
    2 times a week is pretty good if you ask me. Normally we will like maybe once a week, twice a month is pretty normal around here. I hope you two find your groove again soon :)
  • MorganD
    Posts: 3,451Member
    Well, this post was a while ago and we've gotten  our groove back. Last night: perfect example. :D
  • SalllyWingo
    Posts: 1,572Member
    Well, when I read the title of the thread I was going to say "YES! Omg we used to get it on every night, sometimes two or 3 times, but 2 years later I am lucky to get it twi a week" But now I see it could get worse :( I want it everyday. I cannot get enough of him!
  • MorganD
    Posts: 3,451Member
    @Everlong I'm with you. I can't get enough of my SO. *sigh*
  • MorganD
    Posts: 3,451Member
    @Everlong I'm with you. I can't get enough of my SO. *sigh*
  • SherryK76
    Posts: 11Member
    I'm glad to see I'm not the only one who would like it almost every day but it's been 4mths. I hit my 30's and I'm still ready to go but my H he's like No No No. Grrrrr! Oh and we have a 13yrold,10yr old,7yr old,and a 6yr old so it doesn't get any better when the kids are older.It's driving me crazy.I want sex and I want it now!  
  • anonymommy
    Posts: 1,491Member
    MassHysteria said:

    I'm still stuck on the twice a week thing. Between work schedules and the fact that I'd be happy if DD slept in our bed only twice a week, I can't see it happening.



    Same here.  Not sure I remember the last time DS spent a whole night in his own bed.  Hell, I would be happy with going to sleep in his own bed and coming to ours in the middle of the night.  No time for lovins.
  • KellynnKellynn
    Posts: 2,058Member
    We are older, 47 each, been married for over 10 years, and I'm very lucky that it's been consistent the whole time. Of course when we first met it was a lot more, but barring pregnancy and illness, it's still 2-4 times a week. I consider myself very lucky.
  • MorganD
    Posts: 3,451Member

    CKLW said:

    We are older, 47 each, been married for over 10 years, and I'm very lucky that it's been consistent the whole time. Of course when we first met it was a lot more, but barring pregnancy and illness, it's still 2-4 times a week. I consider myself very lucky.



    I hope we can still say this after 10 years!!
  • GirlsOnly
    Posts: 142Member
    Yes, slumps are normal, especially with young kids about. We have 22-month old twins, and right now 2 times a months seems like all we can muster.

    My sex drive has always been higher than DH's. It's one of those things I decided to accept and not make a fuss over. Hey, I can handle things myself, after all.

    But it's also one of those things I think about when I'm dreaming up my second husband....that and dancing. And not being a picky eater.

    I'm sure DH has a whole list of desirable traits for his perfect second wife, but it would hurt my feelings to hear them.

    :-< now feeling disloyal
  • BreakOutQueen
    Posts: 386Member
    Once in a blue moon club member. A Lot if it is stress, both of us, but mostly him, and then I feel stressed. A lot of it is my meds, so I am maing an effort to ish through that feeling of just wanting to crawl in bed and watch TV (but with him usually) . So a few nights ago I am On. I could have done better by myself! Wtf?
  • redshoe61
    Posts: 4Member
    I'm actually thinking that 2-3 times a week is enough. My husband drives me crazy. I don't dare move in the middle of the night because he thinks it's time to play at 3:00 a.m. just because I rolled over!  He wants it 7 days a week all the time!

    That would be great if he actually helped out with the kids, the housework, or anything so that I wasn't so exhausted every night. Then he jumps into bed and lays there waiting for me to "initiate". The last thing I want to do at the end of a long day is initiate anything. I just want to go the hell to sleep. 

    I'm sure in a few years when the kids are more independent that I'll want it more, but right now I sure wouldn't mind a one month dry spell.
  • WildandFree
    Posts: 1,705Member
    Hubby helps a whole bunch, but I'm still exhausted and feel you @redshoe61 I'm just in a damn slump and 2-3x a week would be more than enough for me. But no he wants it all day every day.
  • MorganD
    Posts: 3,451Member
    @reshoe61 OMG, I love late night romps. It doesn't happen often, but I love it when it does.
  • WildandFree
    Posts: 1,705Member
    Hey, initiation does help... I made myself do it this am and wouldn't you know, it rocked?! Cheer up ladies. We will get through this slump!
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