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Little white lie....is it so bad?
  • BassmomBassmom
    Posts: 245Member
    So I'm already feeling guilty for a lie I haven't told yet. My best friend and I are planning a weekend to hang out. I'm in Houston, she's in Austin. She always visits here and it has been almost 2 years since I came there. My ds9 loves her a lot and would be super pissed, hurt and crushed if he knew I was going without him. My dh and I both agree it's best for him to stay behind bc 1. I don't want him staying the weekend at her apartment bc her bf is a complete ass and alcoholic. 2. I want to be able to have fun and go out.

    I want to be able to get away without him knowing where I'm actually going, so as not to upset him. But at the same time, I don't want to have to lie either. I just feel bad about it. Is it so wrong to want a weekend away? Advice?
  • GreenPupMamaGreenPupMama
    Posts: 15Member

    Absolutely not wrong to want a weekend away! It's just a weekend, mamas need their own space and time apart from their littles, that way we appreciate the time we *are* with them!

     

     

  • DemandaDemanda
    Posts: 4,452Member
    There's not a thing wrong with wanting a weekend away! I'd explain it to him just as you explained it. At 9 years old, your son is old enough to understand he doesn't always get to do what the adults are doing and that Mom deserves a break. I understand the temptation to fib, but if he ever finds out he's going to be pissed. Well, my son would be anyway. Maybe I'm awful, but I'd rather my kid be pissed off at the truth...it's really not a bad lesson for him to learn.
    "The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off." ~ Gloria SteinemPhotobucket
  • boring_nameboring_name
    Posts: 667Member
    I agree with @Demanda an honest explanation. If he finds out later you lied then what kind of trust will he have for you? 
    B
  • lifeisgood
    Posts: 481Member
    @Demanda said exactly my thoughts....I would also tell him.  You won't have to hide pictures you take, facebook, etc...you can even have a shot of you two together holding a sign that says We love you DS....or whatever to show him you were thinking of him.  He's rapidly approaching the age....if he's not already there....where he's not really going to want you hovering around his friends when they are over.  
  • ChibikoChibiko
    Posts: 2,685Member
    I agree w @demanda too! Imagine howichore hurt he would be if he found out you lied to him.
    U R who U think U R

    "You were the truth I would rather lose than to have never lain beside at all"
  • BellaBefanaBellaBefana
    Posts: 8,158Member
    yeah, I would tell him the truth.  You just need a weekend away, maybe "schedule" a special day/evening with him in advance when you tell him?
    Bite me, cupcake!
  • BassmomBassmom
    Posts: 245Member
    I know y
  • BassmomBassmom
    Posts: 245Member
    I know y'all are right. I don't like lying and I certainly don't want him to think its ok. He has had a problem lying sometimes. I guess I just didn't want to make my dh life miserable because he would be the one to deal with his fits and sour mood. I like the idea of doing something special with him before I leave. Thanks everyone for the great advice!!
  • twinmommy2004
    Posts: 252Member

    Tell truth here - save the white lies for things like Santa.  My therapist has told me you should never base your actions on a fear of the other person's reaction - especially not on the fear of a tantrum from a child.


    Have a great trip - you deserve some time away!

    the secret to happiness is not getting what you want, it's wanting what you get
  • [Deleted User]
    Posts: 7,022
    The user and all related content has been deleted.
    well behaved women seldom make history
  • ButterflyButterfly
    Posts: 80Member
    I agree with @Demanda -- Honesty is the best policy. I like the idea of doing something special with him beforehand, but how about you promise him a special outing afterward IF he behaves for Dad while you're away?  That will give Dad a bit of a break and some ammo, too!  @MammaTeeRoll has a good idea with the phonecall.  Just one, as soon as you get there, and then you girls can have a great weekend!  Enjoy!
  • BassmomBassmom
    Posts: 245Member
    Awesome. Im so glad i posted about this otherwise i surely couldnt have thought of all these great ideas. I will def do the phone calls and something special probably both before and after.
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