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My lover is cooking up a surprise c:
  • MaryPoppins25
    Posts: 1,686Member
    Yesterday I called dan down for dinner and he didn't come down until 10 min later. I asked what he was doing and he said "top secret" I said "you know I could just look at the history" and he said "no I cleared it" I checked and sure enough he did. Tonight I went into the room and he quickly closed the laptop and yelled "top secret" my lover is cooking up a surprise and I NEED to know what!! I'm trying really REALLY hard to not get my hopes up... But could this finally be my ring??
  • ChibikoChibiko
    Posts: 2,801Member
    OOOO how exciting!!!  Keep up posted!  And keep snooping!!!
    U R who U think U R

    "You were the truth I would rather lose than to have never lain beside at all"
  • unforgivenunforgiven
    Posts: 12,715Confessional Manager
    That's so exciting!!!! 

    confessional-manager

    "What looks like torture is a time to rejoice
    What sounds like thunder is a comforting voice
    When what is beautiful looks broken and crushed
    And I say I don't know you
    But you say it's finished"
  • MaryPoppins25
    Posts: 1,686Member
    Well this is bull shit! He just said it will be a couple months before I can know. Why did he make it so obvious something was up if I'd have to wait so long :(
  • KellynnKellynn
    Posts: 2,058Member
    Hmmmm, maybe he's waiting for a significant date to pop the question? Is there anything coming up in the next few months that is special to you two? A first date, first kiss, birthday, etc.
  • LilbitLilbit
    Posts: 1,587Member
    I HATE it when they pull crap like that and make you wait. but hopefully it will be worth waiting for!

  • notperfectnotperfect
    Posts: 762Member
    Whatever you do, don't go snooping, it will only ruin the surprise. Besides maybe it's possible he told you a couple of  months to sidetrack you.
  • Thefinder
    Posts: 1,664Member
    Don't ruin it for yourself....keep it a surprise.  It is more fun that way :D
  • Katescrazymom
    Posts: 1,901Member
    Making you wait that long is just mean! It better be really good!
  • MaryPoppins25
    Posts: 1,686Member
    I ruined the surprise :( I really thought it was a ring. I feel like I've waited so long and it drives me crazy. He said "you won't have a clue until we get there" and I said "get there? The surprise is going somewhere?" and he said "ya it wouldn't be a good surprise if we were here" and I said "I thought you got me my ring" and he said "sorry to disappoint" after that I just kind went crazy bitch on him, demanded to know the surprise, and freaked out on his pansy marriage terrified ass. I feel so bad today but at the same time it's bullshit I've waited this long and it still hasnt happened. I'm worried if I keep being a pushover it will never happen. Btw the surprise was concert tickets to one of our fave bands. :(
  • LilbitLilbit
    Posts: 1,587Member
    Awww sorry mommas :-(
  • ChibikoChibiko
    Posts: 2,801Member
    But at least it's a happy surprise!
    U R who U think U R

    "You were the truth I would rather lose than to have never lain beside at all"
  • DreamerDreamer
    Posts: 2,278Member

    maybe he will purpose while you are there?  I really dont want to get your hopes up even more....but when my X did it...was same thing. He took me on a trip..........he proposed while we where there... Just a thought...

     

    But in case its not  >:D<   enjoy the concert.  Your time will come! 

    There are some people who live in a dream world, and there are some who face reality; and then there are those who turn one into the other. Which one are you?
  • MaryPoppins25
    Posts: 1,686Member
    He's def not doing it at the concert :( but that's ok. I'll just keep waiting and see what happens I guess... There's not much else I can do.
  • DemandaDemanda
    Posts: 4,638Member
    What band is it?
    "The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off." ~ Gloria SteinemPhotobucket
  • MaryPoppins25
    Posts: 1,686Member
    @demanda Dave Matthews band :D

    In our love story dan made me a cd before we ever actually met and left it on a park bench for me to find. There was a lot of incubus, matt good, some random stuff, and of course Dave Matthews band.
  • Harleyman
    Posts: 54Member
    ooofftaa. Dave  Mathews? I don't know what too say....My brothers is the same way with, what I call my dsil, and I just don't get it. Dw's ring didn't break us but is what she wanted for a commitment 25 years ago and I would have done it on our first kiss if I could go back in time. 
  • MaryPoppins25
    Posts: 1,686Member
    @harleyman lol offfta Dave Matthews? Lol I'm not sure what that means.

    It's sad because it's literally his only major flaw, fear of getting married. It's not even commitment, he used to introduce me as his "wife" I put a stop to that because he can't have his cake and eat it too. He now has to tell ppl I'm his g/f or whatever which makes him uncomfortable.

    On a positive note I'm super pumped for dmb. Dan also bought tickets for Darien lake so we'll be spending the day there before the concert. I have never been on a roller coaster, I've been too scared. Any tips for getting over it and enjoying them?
  • momsaidnomomsaidno
    Posts: 1,801Member
    close your eyes on the coaster?!?!  lol

  • FoulMouthedSailorFoulMouthedSailor
    Posts: 1,934Member
    @eapple ooftah or uffda is kinda like going wow, it can be good or bad. And you never know, he could be doing a tactical misdirection, he knows he's been made, so he's redirecting your attention.

    And for the roller coaster don't eat alot, clench your butt and tighten your abs when zero g on a drop and you won't go dizzy.
    You show the lights that stop me turn to stone, You shine it when I'm alone. And so I tell myself that I'll be strong
    And dreaming when they're gone.
  • MaryPoppins25
    Posts: 1,686Member
    Well I'm going to take it in a good way because dmb rocks!
  • SchweddyBallsSchweddyBalls
    Posts: 3,350Member
    ......I have had to "correct" el jeffe LOTS of times!!!! He didn't start the wifey rumor, just went with the flow so to speak......lol. I just describe us as "happily unmarried till his death do we part" then mamas upgrading!!!!!!!! Don't be too hard on him........jeffe told me at the get go his fear of marriage "leading cause of divorce" and his deep seeding was caused by his mom.......I think that fact he feels obligated to call 6 different men on fathers day has something to do with it!!!!
    I'm the nicest person you will ever meet, UNTIL you fuck with me or the betches I love.......
  • MaryPoppins25
    Posts: 1,686Member
    @shweddyballs I'm not alone!!! It doesn't seem to bug u tho :-/ Seriously is drives me crazy! And I'm worried the longer I wait the less likely it will happen. I don't think it would bug me as much if he didn't offer it and then take it away. Really "here little baby have this sucker!" "actually I changed my mind, give it back and stop drooling on the wrapper"
  • SchweddyBallsSchweddyBalls
    Posts: 3,350Member
    Meh........I did the marriage thing, it didn't turn out too good. I do admit, a ring would be nice....not so much as a proposal, but as a sign of his commiment.....plus I like "sparklies" :D
    The part about offering then taking it back would cause me to twitch tho.........
    Maybe remind him ever so lovingly during some sexy time *winkwink* ....."daddy wasn't berry nice to me.......good thing imma nice lil bunny wunny and didn't bite when daddy teased me with that carrot"........ :> :O
    I'm the nicest person you will ever meet, UNTIL you fuck with me or the betches I love.......
  • mommydeliriousmommydelirious
    Posts: 3,498Member
    You just never know! If you guys have talked about it and you have agree'ed that "someday" it will happen just remind him of that. 
    If he has never said he wouldeventually marry you, than you have some thinkin/ass kickin to do! 
    I think if you plan on staying with him either way, and he knows it he might not care so much...u know? If you can somehow put the fear in him... hah Im a beliver of "the fear" though. Like men should be afraid of losing us.
    Photobucket
  • MaryPoppins25
    Posts: 1,686Member
    @shweddyballs lmao I love it! The teasing part is what really gets me :@

    We went looking for rings!!! Then a meteor hit our car an smashed our window so it was understandable that the expense on top of the drama caused a pause in the ring searching dept. However that was last summer!! We've recouped from that small window repair ten fold by now :@
  • MaryPoppins25
    Posts: 1,686Member
    @mommydelirious oh I've instilled the fear he just doesnt bite because he knows I'm
    hopelessly inlove with his stubborn ass. When I made him tell me the surprise after asking if it might be something sparkly I flipped my lid. I was so mad at him and I let him hear it. I also elbowed and punched him while in bed and told him I was moving to my moms (empty threat, he knows I can't stand my mom) you know what te fuckers response to why haven't you asked me in the last three months... Wait for it, it's a doozy! "the laundry wasn't getting done"
  • SchweddyBallsSchweddyBalls
    Posts: 3,350Member
    Death by skid stain shorts!!!!!!! He needed to be awoke finding his but hog tied and ball gagged while you flipped thru ring catalogs.......What a turd!!!!!!!
    I'm the nicest person you will ever meet, UNTIL you fuck with me or the betches I love.......
  • unforgivenunforgiven
    Posts: 12,715Confessional Manager
    I truly believe he'll propose to you. These things take time but it will be totally worth the wait. 

    confessional-manager

    "What looks like torture is a time to rejoice
    What sounds like thunder is a comforting voice
    When what is beautiful looks broken and crushed
    And I say I don't know you
    But you say it's finished"
  • breezybreezy
    Posts: 3,483Member
    Wait? He hasn't talked to you about marriage in the last 3 months because of the laundry?!
  • MaryPoppins25
    Posts: 1,686Member
    @breezy yep, he thinks his day is harder than mine and that it should be equal.
  • breezybreezy
    Posts: 3,483Member
    He needs a junk punch. And I would forget to wash his skivies for a couple months.... Tell him that underwear washing is a wifes job.
  • SammieSammie
    Posts: 7,349Administrator, Moderator
    Was he serious at @eapple? He couldn't possibly be serious. Could he? I'm wondering if he's thinking of all this stupid shit to say and throwing you off because he IS planning on proposing during your little couple's retreat. No guy actually says 'I was going to propose to you finally, after 2 children and you devoting your life to me, but...you've been slacking on the laundry.'  and actually means it. RIGHT?! 

    community-manager


  • MaryPoppins25
    Posts: 1,686Member
    @sammie no he's serious lol it's an ongoing issue, I don't keep a perfect home. My house is clean but there is clutter and I do slack on the laundry. I always chalk it up to the house not being finished and things not having a home, but really they're excuses. I'd rather be painting or running through a sprinkler *sigh* What it ultimately comes down to is dan feels like he puts in more effort during his day than I do in mine. And that inludes the responsibilities that fall under sahm.
  • Harleyman
    Posts: 54Member
    Oh Boy!! I like my underwear clean but I would wash them myself or wear then inside out rather than make that comment.
  • breezybreezy
    Posts: 3,483Member
    You tell Dan that I said No one looks back on their life and thinks "man, I wish I would have kept up on my kids laundry when they were little." They say things like "man, I should have let the laundry slide and spent time running through the sprinkler with my adorable children when the still thought I was cool."

    And tell him life is not fair so quit being a bitch... Man up... Wash your own socks and buy me a fucking ring!

    J/k don't tell him the second part. :D

  • mommydeliriousmommydelirious
    Posts: 3,498Member
    What breezy said!
    Photobucket
  • MaryPoppins25
    Posts: 1,686Member
    @breezy I've tried, I really have. He just thinks there should be a happy medium. I agree that I could keep up better with the housework but at the same time I do NOT think it's legitimate excuse to withhold marriage.
  • unforgivenunforgiven
    Posts: 12,715Confessional Manager
    That's a pitiful excuse to withhold marriage.. I would say what breezy said (the second part). 

    confessional-manager

    "What looks like torture is a time to rejoice
    What sounds like thunder is a comforting voice
    When what is beautiful looks broken and crushed
    And I say I don't know you
    But you say it's finished"
  • mommydeliriousmommydelirious
    Posts: 3,498Member
    I have never been with anyone that I would not marry. I mean of course, looking back, I dodged some bullets but at the time I would have married each one! Hah, I know that doesn't sound great seeing as how none of them actually ended up married to me until B...but what I mean is, if he's with you, shouldn't he know he wants to marry you? And if he does indeed say he wants to marry you, whats the difference if its next month, next year, or 3 years from now. 
    And for fucks sakes don't let him bribe you to do housework with a ring! Tell him you are who you are, and you will work on things, but you might always be a free spirit that would rather run through the sprinkler than run the vacuum.And would he really want to take away fun mom and have you let the kiddo's watch tv while you spend hours making the house perfect for him? 
    Perhaps remind him gently that while he may be waiting for you to "get perfect" you may already "be perfect" to someone else.
    Photobucket
  • MaryPoppins25
    Posts: 1,686Member
    @mommydelirious it is a pitiful excuse! And it's been going on for 3 years and it started because he said we should get married, I got it all together, and then he changed his mind. I haven't changed for him, I've grown as a person and become better in control of my emotions but the housework I won't do just to get a ring. It's just not me to have a perfect house and I feel like I would be tricking him because things would likely go back to normal after we got married.
  • mommydeliriousmommydelirious
    Posts: 3,498Member
    @eapple What on earth was his excuse for changing his mind? Did you forget to do the dishes? :P I jest but really, he changed his mind about marrying you but still stayed with you. Dont' take this the wrong way, but does that make you feel like you are good enough to take care of his kids and him but not good enough to marry? I know that sounds so harsh...but unless theres something we dont' know like you were a secret porn star 3 yrs ago...its pretty harsh to back out of a marriage! 

    >:D<
    Photobucket
  • MaryPoppins25
    Posts: 1,686Member
    @mommydelirious it does make me feel like why am I good enough to have his kids but not good enough to marry :( its a crap feeling. And I have put a stop to baby making until I get the family name. At the time when he first backed out it was early in our relationship and we found out we were pregnant, not the best reason to get married. A guy at work convinced him it was a bad idea and he was right, I'm glad we didn't get married because we were "supposed" to. But at this point we have planned it together, not a wedding but our own way to celebrate. We have at one point looked for rings. I honestly believe he is just using it as a tool to get what he wants at this point and it fucked up and rather twisted IMO. But like I said it's pretty much his only flaw so I'm pretty well stuck in between a rock and a hard place.
  • AloneOverseasAloneOverseas
    Posts: 2,248Member
    IMO, he should move out until he is ready to make it official. The old saying ... Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free. Make him pay child support and he can date you, but no hanky lanky and no over nights. If he wants to treat you like a wife, then you need the ring and the ceremony. You are not his concubine. ;)
    I love purple; I love cats. Imagine if cats were purple ...
  • DemandaDemanda
    Posts: 4,638Member
    Well hell, the CD in the park story made me want to say he's the most romantic guy on Earth, and now I kind of want to kick him. I'd be dying for a ring too. Hell, I was dying for a ring not too long ago and I haven't even had kids with the guy. I ruined his big surprise though...my bad.
    "The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off." ~ Gloria SteinemPhotobucket
  • unforgivenunforgiven
    Posts: 12,715Confessional Manager
    Demanda said:

    Well hell, the CD in the park story made me want to say he's the most romantic guy on Earth, and now I kind of want to kick him. I'd be dying for a ring too.



    I agree. :(

    confessional-manager

    "What looks like torture is a time to rejoice
    What sounds like thunder is a comforting voice
    When what is beautiful looks broken and crushed
    And I say I don't know you
    But you say it's finished"
  • FoulMouthedSailorFoulMouthedSailor
    Posts: 1,934Member
    I kind of find it sad, if you feel some one is cherish-able enough to marry at one point and change your mind over laundry, I think theres something deeper than that going on. 
    You show the lights that stop me turn to stone, You shine it when I'm alone. And so I tell myself that I'll be strong
    And dreaming when they're gone.
  • MaryPoppins25
    Posts: 1,686Member
    @aloneoverseas as much as I wish it were that easy I find it very hard to justify leaving a man who is an amazing father, a hardworking and dedicated lover, and pretty awesome person just because he won't marry me kwim?

    @demanda @unforgiven we have so many moments like that, our whole relationship is full of quirky and awesome memories but this subject makes me wanna kick him in the balls myself :(

    @foulmouthedsailor it's not just the laundry, that's just word for word what he said once. It's because he feels like he puts in a very hard day and my day should be equally hard. That my role as sahm includes all of the housework, cooking, etc. I mentioned that further up, it's about having an equally productive day and sometimes my day can be a bit lazy.
  • Harleyman
    Posts: 54Member
    My $.02.I am new and have not read all the history but... From what I have seen you love him a lot and believe that the two of you our soul mates?? I say give it time. I know friends that live life as a family a long time before they commit.....but that said, you need a ring.....even a promise ring?
  • FoulMouthedSailorFoulMouthedSailor
    Posts: 1,934Member
    @eapple, When I got married, the only ring I had was made of hemp, I still have it even though it came apart. It wasn't until 3 years ago I actually got a metallic ring when I hit bedrock, and I've been married coming up on 7 years. Our reasons are completely different than yours for taking so long, but some times it just takes time. 
    You show the lights that stop me turn to stone, You shine it when I'm alone. And so I tell myself that I'll be strong
    And dreaming when they're gone.
  • AnonUser25
    Posts: 547Guest
    If it makes you feel any better @eapple, it seems we have a lot in common. I am not married yet either, but for different reasons, mainly just the fact we can't afford it. My fiancee likes to pull the 'lets just get a marriage license' card occasionally and doesn't understand its more then that to me. I want it to be special, we've been through a lot and I think I deserve more then a piece of paper ya know? I am the same way tho, my house is clean, just cluttered. But I have a toddler. Enough said. I have the same excuses as you, not every item has a home, and I rather let some laundry build up and make memories instead. You're definitely not alone  >:D<
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