how to catch him cheating?
  • Pumpkinmama
    Posts: 122Member
    I just know that my husband is cheating. And I wanna get proof for when i file for divorce. I'm not sad or hurt, he's emotionally and verbally abusive, so I've been thinking about leaving for a while. The only reason I want the proof is so that I can file for divorce citing adultry instead of irreconcilable differences, and possibly get alimony. I'm not usually vindictive, but he has put me through hell, and I'd like for him to "suffer" for it, even if it is only financially.
    I've tried everything I can, his phone is locked, he clears his computer history, we only have one car, so i can't follow him anywhere. I don't know anyone he works with, or anyone he's friends with, so I can't get info from any of them. I don't have money for a PI, if I did, trust me, I'd hire one.
    Anyone have any ideas???
  • MegsueMegsue
    Posts: 1,846Member
    Do you have any friends that he doesn't know that would be willing to follow him around? That's what I'd do. All you need is a few pictures, and you'd be set.
  • FoulMouthedSailorFoulMouthedSailor
    Posts: 1,908Member
    Or if you can see the phone bill, all carriers list phone numbers and texts. Try to find out which numbers are legit and whats suspicious.
    You show the lights that stop me turn to stone, You shine it when I'm alone. And so I tell myself that I'll be strong
    And dreaming when they're gone.
  • LilbitLilbit
    Posts: 1,887Member
    Can you get on the computer at all? there is software that you can download that can record all of his activity down to every last key stroke he makes, doesnt matter if he clears history or not
  • fatchickonabikefatchickonabike
    Posts: 6,590Member
    Lilbit said:

    Can you get on the computer at all? there is software that you can download that can record all of his activity down to every last key stroke he makes, doesnt matter if he clears history or not

    Yes! They're called keystroke loggers and they're apparently invisible once installed.
    Part of growing up is learning to forgive your parents for being human.
  • HeadsYouLose
    Posts: 9Member
    Download this keylogger on the computer.  Its free... will not pop up and alert him that its there.. and it works. I used it for awhile on my DH when I had suspicions (he was watching porn)..... And I caught my DD13 looking at stuff she shouldnt have.  Works great. 


    Also, IF you are computer literate ... I could walk you through how to make the "delete" option in the internet tools be removed so he cant use it.  OMG that pissed off my DH so bad... the lil tricky butt spent days trying to figure out how to undo it and he did lol.
  • lifeisgood
    Posts: 481Member
    @FoulMouthedSailor - Sprint does not provide a text log....they do have a detailed call log...so if that's his carrier @Pumpkinmama ..not gonna get a text log.   

    Voice activated recorder planted in his car would pick up his side of any calls he's making.  Also picks up any booty calls he may decide to have in his car.   I'm sorry you have to go through this. GPS his car?

    @Megsue - crafty one...I like it!
  • Pumpkinmama
    Posts: 122Member
    Great ideas! I don't have many friends around here, probably not any that would be willing to play detective for me anyway. We do have sprint, and I've looked at the bill, but its hard to tell which numbers are which. I've written down the frequent numbers, but Idk how to tell who they belong to. I'm gonna download the keylogger, I didn't know you could do that without them knowing. And as far as voice activated recording devices.... Where can I find one of those?! Lol!
  • boring_nameboring_name
    Posts: 670Member

    B
  • LLBLLB
    Posts: 5,622Member
    Depending on who the account holder is for your cell phones you may be able to put a trace on his phone. We have verizon and I can put a tracer on any of the phones on our contract. Basically it send out a gps signal from the phone so you can track where it goes. it's like $5 month and only the account holder can add it.

  • Pumpkinmama
    Posts: 122Member
    The reverse look up works, but some of them won't give me the name, just location. And the phones are in his name, so i couldn't get by with adding anything to the account. :( he's so obvious sometimes, I hate that i can never prove it! He'll say he's going to the gym, and he'll put on his basketball shorts and a t-shirt, and then he takes a backpack with clothes in it, sprays himself with cologne, and leaves. Then he will come back wearing the basketball shorts n t-shirt like five hours later, not sweaty or tired at all.... Or he will tell me he's gotta go to a work function, come home n change into what I would call "date clothes" and come back at 9 or 10 at night. When I ask how things went, he's short with me, almost mad that i even asked... One time he even told me he had to go pick someone up from the airport at 8pm n it was a two hour drive, so he came home around 2am (smelling of alcohol) saying he had to show them around a little before he dropped them off at their hotel. It's so obvious, but i have no proof n its pissing me off!!! I mean, he's not getting away with it, especially since he thinks he can, I have got to do something to catch him!
  • MorganD
    Posts: 3,436Member
    Find yourself a decent IT man to run a hack on his computer. It'll have a kill timer on it, so it'll disappear and be untraceable, but you'll be able to track his movements. Happy hunting. ;)
  • BeachyBeachy
    Posts: 4,697Member
    What kind of phone does he have?
    Searching for my lost shaker of salt.
  • Pumpkinmama
    Posts: 122Member
    He's got the HTC EVO 3D. Same as mine, and he has the lock on it where you draw a pattern to unlock it.
  • katz_meowkatz_meow
    Posts: 6,380Member
    my suggestion would have been a spy app on his phone, but if its locked I guess that's a no go. definitely try the keystroke logger tho.
    There is nothing to be gained from treating others poorly.

    Don't be a dick.
  • katz_meowkatz_meow
    Posts: 6,380Member
    and the reverse phone number lookup. you can pay a yearly or monthly fee and at least get the names of the people or businesses those phone numbers belong to
    There is nothing to be gained from treating others poorly.

    Don't be a dick.
  • Pumpkinmama
    Posts: 122Member
    I'm waiting for him to leave the house for a significant amount of time so I can install the keystroke thing, darn weekends! Lol! N I've tried tampering with his phone to see if the pattern is something obvious, but i guess not. I've dropped the bug in a friends ear that I think something is going on, her husband goes to the same gym he does, so maybe she can ask him to tell me if he's there when he says he is, Idk.
  • Overit
    Posts: 1Member
    Go ahead and hire a lawyer. They know ALL the underhanded tricks. Hire the meanest one you can find, not the cheapest.
  • Pumpkinmama
    Posts: 122Member
    I wish i had the money for a lawyer. He doesn't allow me access to any money, n I'm a stay at home mom, so i don't have any of my own. It sucks that I'm so limited, I would have hired a PI by now if i could! Well at least I'm learning one thing, if you wanna get away with cheating, just limit your spouses money, don't let them have a car, and move to a place where they don't know anyone, cuz that's how he's getting away with it! Ugh, frusterating!
  • BeachyBeachy
    Posts: 4,697Member
    Ok so go to YouTube and search for unlocking htc evo 3d. There are videos on how to hack into the phone! Or try unlock code.
    Searching for my lost shaker of salt.
  • ChibikoChibiko
    Posts: 3,329Member
    Call the gym when he's supposed to b there and tell them it's an emergency. Then you'll know if he'd there it not...
    "We all cross over to the dark side at one point. We just all have different temptations" ~MarySunshine

    "You were the truth I would rather lose than to have never lain beside at all" ~Death Cab for Cutie
  • loveitloveit
    Posts: 1,738Member
    @chibiko great idea!!!
  • Pumpkinmama
    Posts: 122Member
    I think I'm gonna try the calling the gym idea, I'm 30 weeks preggo, I'm sure i can think up an emergency, other than the obvious. N I'm googling how to unlock the phone right now, I must be oblivious, there are so many things I didn't know about! Thank you all for the great ideas! :)
  • queenofsix
    Posts: 12Member
    @pumpkinmama im going through the same thing but my dh has no cell phone or computer except the ones he uses at work amd leaves there so i have no way of getting any proof :-( hope u catch him!
  • Pumpkinmama
    Posts: 122Member
    Thanks @queenofsix even though I need help catching my husband, I wish i could help you!
  • ChibikoChibiko
    Posts: 3,329Member
    Do you have access to bank records?  You could check on there to see where the money's going and WHEN it's going.  Even if he's making trips to the ATM you can tell where he was when he took out the money.
    "We all cross over to the dark side at one point. We just all have different temptations" ~MarySunshine

    "You were the truth I would rather lose than to have never lain beside at all" ~Death Cab for Cutie
  • Pumpkinmama
    Posts: 122Member
    Good idea! He never opens the bank statements, he doesn't even balance the checkbook, so I'm sure he wouldn't notice if I opened the statements when they came in the mail. He has a lying problem, and I keep noticing things that don't make sense. Like one day he will say "I'm gonna pay bills so we know how much we have for groceries", and then I find out that he's past due on the car payment, the cable bill, and one of his loans, not to mention the cell phone people want a payment and a half to catch up or they're gonna cut our service off... I have no idea where all the money is going, we used to pay the bills and barely get by, but now we barely get by and he's not even paying the bills. I think i just might uncover some info from this idea! Thank you @Chibiko
  • Hippiechick
    Posts: 49Member
    Spokeo.com and mr. Numbers app works great
  • popomomof3
    Posts: 137Member
    Check the mileage on the car too. That should at least give a good indication of how far hes traveling.