Not overreacting at all imo. I'm all for 100 percent honesty in a relationship, but that doesn't need to include other people's business. It has nothing to do with either of them, so why would it even come up unless she's making a special point of sharing it with him. And why the hell would she feel compelled to do that?

At the same time , how well do you know her husband ? When I was living with stbxh he would make me tell him just about everything. If I talked to a friend he would ask what we talked about. If I said " stuff" or " nothing big , just girl stuff" he would pester me until I told him. He would expect me to remember word for word what we talked about and give him a report. He did that when I talked to just about everyone, friends ( the few I had before he chased them away ) family , even people at church. So yea I told my husband everything , he wouldn't leave me alone unless I did.

I don' think that not telling your DH every single detail of convos you've had with friends would count as keeping secrets.  If it doesn't involve her DH then why would he need to know?  I would be so angry and so embarrassed if I found out my bestie told her hubby what we talk about.  he has no need to know.  I don't blame you for being pissed.  How does she expect you to want to tell her anything from now on, knowing it will be shared with her man?  I'd make it clear from now on that what you say when you talk to her is for her ears only...

Unless what you tell her has a direct impact on your friend's relationship with her husband or would affect their life in some way, he doesn't need to know. If she insists on blabbing everything you tell her to her husband (who, of course, is not bound to keep your confidences to himself), then your conversations with her become kind of like e-mail: you may send a message to just one person, but you have no control over who that person might forward your message to. So basically, if you don't want it heard, don't say it to her. And that really sucks. Essentially she has just told you that you can't trust her to keep what you tell her confidential.

A 'secret' like this was actually a huge fight in my brothers marriage and it contributed to (not caused) their divorce. I found out i was pregnant and didnt want ANYONE to know yet. The only person i was ready to tell was my brother. After i told everyone else, his wife found out he knew before her and was livid. She said that he should have immediately told her and that there should be no secrets at all. (Except for her i guess cuz she lied and hid shit all the time. Shes a narcissist) My secret had nothing to do with her nor would it ever affect her. I would have been very pissed had he told her. Its been almost 4 years and she still brings it up. Back to the point, secrets are meant to be kept and your friend should know that. If she feels the need to share every bit with her husband she should have told you that first.

My ex BFF told her asshole husband every secret I'd ever told her who then proceeded to put ALL of it (even the down & dirty HUMILIATING shit) on twitter, Facebook & forwarded text messages. Never again. Secrets are secrets. Period. If you don't want someone to know either keep it to yourself or go somewhere like here anonymously if you must divulge!

There's a big difference in sharing/telling the hubby EVERYTHING and telling him things that are NOT his business. Things shared in CONFIDENCE should be kept PRIVATE unless there is an immediate risk to someones well being. With that said.......there's a reason why I have a FEW close friends......bitches be flappin their lips 'n shit!!!!!! [-(

I had a "friend" who's dh was friends/coworkers with my dh and we all got along perfectly...weeellll I bet you can figure out how that went down the tubes.. she was telling her dh EVERY.DAMN.THING. ugh..and shit rolls downhill & she even went as far as telling her dh where I was when I decided to leave my dh (after DROPPING ME OFF& SWEARING SECRECY) he found me 30 mind later. When I confronted her she said her dh didn't think it was best that she & I be friends anymore because I wasn't a good influence. He wouldn't have known shit about me if she hadn't told him bc I hardly spoke to him other than casually. So NO, its not ok for her to tell your biz. ( sorry for ranting but this struck a nerve ) [-X

Thanks everyone for your experiences and opinions. She and I have been friends for almost 8 years and during that time she has told me on several occasions that she tells her dh everything. she never clarified that that included every little damn thing I had ever told her. I just assumed that they had a really close great relationship and that she was very honest with him about her life and past and things. Which I think is wonderful, my xh and I did not have that type of relationship.

I don't have many friends IRL for this reason. As far as I know she and her dh are the only ones who know a lot of these things, I have no way of knowing for sure that he hasn't said things to his friends, but I haven't heard any of my secrets coming back to bite me and she swears up and down that her dh won't tell a soul because she swore him to secrecy.

It doesn't matter that she says he's sworn to secrecy, I still feel hurt, confused and embarrassed. If I had known she was going to tell her husband anything there are so many things I would not have told her. I honestly don't think I'll be able to trust her the way I used too and that hurts, a lot.

 

my husband couldnt give a crap what me and my friends talk about. i do tell him some things. unless they said do not tell anyone then its fair game i say. though it could explain why he doesnt like many if any of my friends lol