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Is it spousal abuse if I hit someone else's husband?!?!
  • Monkeynmoo
    Posts: 1,420Guest
    X( I am furious with my best friends husband! I am seconds away from callin and letting him have it! She goes to school, cooks, cleans, takes care of their kids... And he puts his buddies and having fun in front of her well being. Barely lifts a finger in the house, have to say barely because some days he surprises both of us and cooks breakfast or does a load of laundry or dishes.... But on the weekends he will literally lay in bed and watch movies or leave to go to a mutual friends of ours house and leave her he running rampid to get shit done on the two days she doesn't have school. She busts her ass to keep her house clean so their two kids lives can run smoothly. They do help but sometimes that is a struggle in itelf as all you moms with older kids know. He calls her some of he most horibble names and spouts so real bullshit about her being lazy and unproductive. Ugh, my blood is boiling! The funny thing is he seriously has no idea she has one foot out the door! She is ready to walk away after 10 years because he a lazy excuse for a dad and husband! They have gone through some rough patches together and made it through one about 5 years ago but nothing is different than then, he hasn't changed. This morning through text message, which I'm sure she was crying while typing, she tells me she is going to leave with the kids and not tell anyone where she is. That means I won't know where she and my niece or nephew are just because she doesn't want him to find her. He isn't physically abusive or anything, at least she hasn't told me he is and that is one thing I think she WOULD tell me. He does go through spouts where he gets very angry and will scream or throw things and he is very domineering pretty often. It's his way or no way.... Toldy df the other day "don't lift a fucking finger in the house to clean it, that's woman's work!" DUDE! IF THAT'S WOMAN'S WORK THEN GET OFF YOUR ASS AND FIND A JOB! He has a head injury that has messed him up pretty bad but there has to be SOMETHING he can do to help pay the bills so he doesn't have to work so hard. They have been denied Sii I don't know how many times but come on! A part one job pulling parts at an autozone or something!

    He tried to control out relationship at one point telling her she couldn't talk to me about all her issues with him and that she couldn't call me and vent after a fight, ha! That didn't last long!

    LOOK, YOU LAZY FUCK! YOUR ABOUT TO LOOSE THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO YOU BECAUSE YOU WON'T GROW THE FUCK UP! WHEN SHE DOES FINALLY DECIDE TO LEAVE YOU I AM GOING TO HELP HER PACK HER BAGS!!! I AM TIRED PF AEEING HER HURTING AND HEARING HER CRY BECAUSE OF YOU, SHE DESERVES BETTER!!! SO DO YOUR KIDS. YOU TELL HER SHE IS A BAD MOM BECAUSE SHE SNAPS AT YOU WHEN SHE IS FRUSTRATED ANS SAYS HURTFUL THINGS?! YOU LIDS HELP OUT WITH LIFE MORE THAN YOU DO!

    Its bad when someones kids say "I will help you mommy because nobody else around here does" I have heard their daughter say that multiple times!


    I am just so angry that I have to see her sad and cry all the time, I love her smile and spunk and I miss it. I love her so much and hate to see her so hurt!

    Ok, rant over... Thanks for reading my novel!
  • unforgivenunforgiven
    Posts: 12,712Confessional Manager
    Wow he sounds like a controlling ass. :( I imagine it must be hell to see your friend hurting. I hope she'll realize enough is enough and that she deserves better. 

    confessional-manager

    "What looks like torture is a time to rejoice
    What sounds like thunder is a comforting voice
    When what is beautiful looks broken and crushed
    And I say I don't know you
    But you say it's finished"
  • lifeisgood
    Posts: 481Member
    @monkeynmoo   I don't understand what the harm would be for you to tell him it pisses you off to watch him treat her so poorly.  You sound like mutual friends.  Head injury or not....I'd lay into him.....hell maybe it will actually help for him to hear it somewhere other than her.  If you say it. in terms of....When I SEE YOU ...do this or that.  Obviously, you can't say....She told me you do this.  I would only keep my mouth shut if I thought it would escalate and cause her harm.  I'm not very subtle about sticking up for my friends though.  
  • Monkeynmoo
    Posts: 1,420Guest
    He knows she tells me everything, when he tried to say she couldn't talk to me anymore anout their fights and suck she did say something along the lines of fuck off! I just can't stand it anymore, I do believe thAt his head injury plays a big role in his lacking of every dept but I also think he uses it to his advantage sometimes too! She will sit and tell him how he feels about something e has done or said and he will be all sorry about it but then claim to have forgotten it less than 12 hours later when he pulls the same shit.

    Enough is enough, I can't see her like this anymore. She is one of the most important people in my life and it hurtse so much to see and hear her cry. She isn't even herself anymore, she is SO depressed and he is why.... Him and his laziness and his attitude! Fuck, now my blood is boiling again!
  • [Deleted User]
    Posts: 7,033
    The user and all related content has been deleted.
    well behaved women seldom make history
  • BellaBefanaBellaBefana
    Posts: 8,157Member
    MammaTeeRoll said:

    It would be considered assault......im sure there's a better way to handle it, but a smack upside the head is generally the more direct approach. And my personal preference.



    I like that...a Gibb's slap, and a good tongue lashing!
    Bite me, cupcake!
  • [Deleted User]
    Posts: 2,528
    Horrible situation, but would you be afraid that if you mentioned something to him that he may turn violent against her?
    Get me a damn beer.
  • Monkeynmoo
    Posts: 1,420Guest
    I don't think he would ever hit her but he would I think loose his temper and be very upset. We were at a BBQ tonight and he saw her talking to me and made a comment very rudely "so, your talking shit to nicci huh?" she just looked at him ad said "all day!" and when he asked what I had said in return she said that it was none of his business!
  • [Deleted User]
    Posts: 7,033
    The user and all related content has been deleted.
    well behaved women seldom make history
  • [Deleted User]
    Posts: 7,033
    The user and all related content has been deleted.
    well behaved women seldom make history
  • Monkeynmoo
    Posts: 1,420Guest
    Haha! @mammateeroll, as long as I don't get caught! She has been mouthing off to him a lot and I just want to give her big hugs and high fives! I'm glad he didn't say anything to me last night because i would have slapped him and probably spit in his face. I can't stand to even look at him anymore.... I don't ever want to feel his slime ball hands hug me or hear his beaty little voice talk to me again!
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