it is going to be a rough week *update

notperfect

So tomorrow I have an appointment with the crown attorney, to prepare me for the preliminary hearing in my Daddy's murder case, which starts Monday.

I am so scared. I don't know what to expect, I don't know if the accused will be there (how can I face that) I don't know what I'm going to hear (how can I hear such awful things) I don't want to fall apart in front of strangers (but how can I not) I don't know if I can do this.

This isn't even the real trial only the start of ripping off the scab. I will have to face this over 4 separate weeks this summer/fall. And then 2 trials probably a year later each lasting 5-6 weeks.

How can anyone face this?

Luvlyssa

@notperfect they can't. not without a friend or family member. We can be both. *hugs* I've never been in your shoes... but I can hold your hand and give you a shoulder

chaosmom

I'm sorry hun. I know this is going to be so hard to go through. Just hope that justice will be done & the bastard that killed your father rots in prison. Hugs

momofdbb

Hugs. >:D< I'm sorry

Peace

Oh, I wish we could fill that courtroom behind you & protect you from this.
I don't know what anyone could say to help you through this.
Nothing you do or feel is wrong, ok? Nothing. Anyone there will completely understand that
this is hell on you, and will be silently willing you strength. Just like we are...
>:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D<

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iamslowlygoingcrazy

Wow I can't even imagine how you are feeling, big hugs to you >:D<

Gingersnap

We'll be here for you. >:D<

BellaBefana

I'm sitting here trying to think of what to say...I got nothing, except be strong, and when you feel like you can't or aren't know that we're all here to be strong for you.

Look the bastard straight in the eye with a look that says, "I KNOW what you did, and you're going down for it."

>:D< >:D< >:D< [-O< [-O< [-O<

notperfect

I just got back from the meeting with attorney, the accused will be there so I will have to face the bastard. They will be showing autopsy photos, but not on a big screen so I won't have to see it, and when they show the video (yes there is a video) they are going to warn us so we can leave the room, this all may be on the first day. We also are able to leave at any time we wish and they will have a room set up for us. And he has promised to let us know if there is any "shocking" information that he thinks might upset us a head of time.

Thank all of you so much for your support, you have no idea how much it means to me right now.

I may not be around too much in the next week as I will be spending a lot of my time at my BF's house, he makes me feel calm and safe and I know he will take care of me, so don't worry if you don't hear from me I haven't gone anywhere, but I may still check in for messages.

Much love

>:D<

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chaosmom

Kind of knowing what to expect is going to help. Don't be afraid to take a break as often as you need it. They will understand. I'm happy to hear that you have someone to go home to & just curl up in his protective arms. Bring lots of tissues & don't forget to eat, hydrate & sleep. Taking care of yourself is important especially during high stress times. Hugs sweetie.

notperfect

Hey guys, I just wanted to say I'm back, I went into hiding at my BF's house and he took really good care of me. The process was tough, I didn't look at any of the photos, and we left for the video, so no danger of that. I heard a lot of disturbing things, it seems whenever we think well at least this didn't happen it turns out it did. I handled what I could and when things got tough I walked away. I now know I'm stronger than I ever believed I was, but I keep wondering what if anything will ever break me.

chaosmom

Glad you are back! I bet you are exhausted but good for you letting your bf take care of you. Just hang in there sweetie. Hugs

pdxmama

Just big huge hugs for you girl!

lostinthewind

Hugs, hugs, hugs, and more hugs!

AloneOverseas

Wow ... That's a lot to deal with. Mglad you are doing well, considering ...

Megsue

There isn't a "right" thing to say to you, and all of those cliches suck, so I'll just stick with a hug for you. And I'm sorry. >:D<

RedTiger

(((Hugs!!)))

MistyStacy_2010

Big hugs for you Momma! Just big freaking hugs. I have no words just hugs. I hope you hold on to your strength and you keep your head up and you do not let that monster bring you down. You can do this!!

Lakegirl34

Sending hugs and postive thoughts your way.

lefty63

So sorry you have to go through all this, as someone said the rat bastard will rot in prison for what he did.

Stay strong and take care of yourself.

notperfect

Going for round 2. Last time was the preliminary for the accomplice, this round is the accused. I have to sit in the same room with the 15 year old who killed my Daddy. It's going to be 2 weeks of this. I know I am strong but right now I feel so weak and small. Ladies please pray for stregnth for me and my family, every time I think I'm ok I find that I am not. Again I'm going into hiding at my BF's house I'll probably be there for 3 weeks (I'm taking stress leave from work) I'm going to try to get my router working at his house so I can use my laptop, but if you don't hear from me I'm ok, he does an awesome job of taking care of me

Vegantastic

(((((hugs)))) mama. And lots of prayers and positive energy coming your way. You are so strong- we're all pulling for you

>:D< >:D< >:D<

sunnymomma

Good luck, big hugs, you dont have to be as strong as you think, We will be strong for you!!

chaosmom

Hugs for you honey.

TheHeadacheslayer

I don't know that anything I can say will help, but Team Scary Mommy is here for you. Sending you love, hugs and strength to get through this ordeal. xoxo