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Bedroom Chemist - Love's Review
First, let me say that from the first second that I knew I was getting one of these packages, I STALKED my mailbox. I think I may have given my mail carrier some kind of complex...
It arrived in the most discreet plain white box imaginable, and I anxiously grabbed a kitchen knife to slice away the tape that stood between me and my new treasure!
As you can see, nestled on top, is a tip book, which explains each item in the box--what each item IS, its intended purpose, how to use it for the best results, etc...
THEN comes the good stuff!
Like a little kid on Christmas morning, I ripped through the contents, and set everything out, so I could see all the goodies!
The ONO Massage candle:
This candle is the bomb. No shit. It smells SO good! The scent is red mandarin and shea butter. It is very citrus-y and light.
I WILL say that living down here where the mosquitoes are the size of small dogs, we are well-acquainted with citronella candles and lamps, and after burning for a long while, that's what this smell started to remind me of, but that's my issue, not yours
The concept of this candle is pretty simple: You light it up, let it burn, the wax melts, and you use the melted wax for massage oil. Easy peasy!
Unless you are into a lot more spice than I am, please do not pour the wax directly onto your partner's tender bits! The temperature of the wax isn't too severe in your hands, but tenderererer skin may not care for the shock of direct heat. Pour it in your hands, rub them together, and then get to strokin' !
The ingredients for ONO are: Soy wax, shea butter, apricot kernel oil, and perfume. That's it.
It makes for an extremely luxurious massage, and left my skin soft for the longest, even after the inevitable quick shower later
The Flower Balm: For Her Pleasure
Ahhhh the Flower Balm... What can I say about the Flower Balm? It is designed to stimulate ...ahem... areas that could stand to be stimulated
It contains menthol and peppermint oils, which give a subtle tingle to where ever it touches.
I like it on my lips. I love the tingle. I've actually been wearing it on my lips since then, even when I'm not feeling frisky, just because I like it.
I LOVED it on my nipples! Just the right amount of intensity to really turn up the heat!
I didn't care for it on my clit. The 'burn' wasn't so noticeable as to be painful, but the 'tingle' it produced just didn't flip my switch, for some reason.
Sidenote from the spousal unit: The husband says that there's not a taste enough to be a deterrent, but it did leave a slightly waxy sensation in his mouth.
Yes, I know it's not edible, or intended for ingestion.
But he has a wandering tongue, that doesn't need to be caged.
I won't even lie...
We didn't pay any attention to the scratch-off games, and probably won't ever use them.
It's cute, and I'm sure some people might like them, as a novelty or what-have-you. We just have better games to play
We probably won't ever use the lube either, just FYI. It's not something we've ever needed, knock on wood.
And last but not least...
The Bswish Bcute Curve
As you can see from the above photo, this is not a toy intended for deep drilling, or power driving.
It's just a tiny little vibrator, which is powerful enough to deliver a delicious little hum, if you hold it on your clit, and small enough to fit in your pocket, or get lost in the bottom of your purse.
It's silicone, which makes for a great-feeling texture.
It's water-proof, so you can lock the bathroom door, light a candle, and have some wet-n-wild time in the bathtub or shower.
And if you're a total vanilla, or a virgin, or if you've never had a toy, or if you orgasm pretty easily, I'm sure this would be a great little vibe for you!
HE liked it, because the size of it was far from intimidating, and I know a lot of guys are leery of toys in the bedroom for those reasons and others.
Personally though, this one didn't pack enough of a punch to make it worthwhile as a vibe, for me. I can squeeze it hard enough to make it stop vibrating, and that's a no-no for my toys! Also, after a bit of play, I got really wet, and except for the very subtle vibration, I couldn't even feel it. Yeah, ladies, there--I said it!
We had fun playing with it, but it won't be up by the front of the naughty drawer.
All in all, I was very happy with the kit. The disappointment in the vibe won't overshadow my enjoyment of the balm and the candle, and we had fun giving it all a test run, in the name of marketing science LOL
You are an awesome reviewer!! The vibe didn't impress me either and I am (was?) a sex toy virgin. Another member said their finger was bigger and I agree. If it was tiny and mighty, that would be one thing, but no. It doesn't do much.
The candle!! I love the idea of the candle. I'm a total sucker for massages, so this was my favorite item as well.
Great review, lady!!
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