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His Ex-Wife (that bitch)
  • weary_wife_mother
    Posts: 4Member

    So to keep from dragging everyone into a very lengthy story I am going to kinda start in the middle. I for the most part try to put forth the effort to get along with my husbands ex-wife for the sake of the 2 boys that they had together and have managed to fake my way through it fairly well for over 2 years now. I am not sure how the discussion arose but somehow she was telling me that my husband was basically a no good cheater and that probably still was. Due to the fact that we were at my step-sons football practice I kept my composure and kindly told her that I am sure they had their own individual problems but as for the marriage that I was in with him he never gave me any reason to not trust him. With all this said I am just trying to figure out for one why she would say something like this and for two why is it bothering me so much and giving me doubts when he has never been suspicious about anything he has done?!?

     

    If anyone has any thoughts on the matter I would love to hear it because I am really banging my head against the wall on this one

  • LoveLove
    Posts: 12,964Administrator, Moderator
    My husband's ex did me the SAME way.

    SMH

    It's either sour grapes, because how DARE he attempt to be happy with ANYone else...

    or 

    she's telling the truth, and felt it her womanly/sisterly duty to try to warn you...


    What does your gut say?
    HAS he ever said that he cheated on her? Have yall talked about it? Or was this all out of left field?


    edited to add: Just in case anyone is curious, it was sour grapes in our case, SHE is the one who cheated, and for some reason, she wanted him back after we got together...although WHY in the WORLD she thought I would take her word over his, I couldn't tell you. Everyone in her workplace had confirmed that she and her lover were caught en flagrante on the job, and she lost her position there with the company because of that affair.

    community-manager


  • LLB
    Posts: 3,300Member
    He probably cheated on her! Just because he has never acted suspicious around you does not mean he was a saint when they were together. Obviously they divorced for a reason and if it was due to him being unfaithful then it makes complete sense that she would assume he is cheating on you as well.
  • weary_wife_mother
    Posts: 4Member
    My gut tells me no that he hasn't but my stupid nagging brain is now doing double time and it had never even crossed my mind before. He and I have talked about their relationship and both of them were wrong for different reasons but he told me he had never cheated on her but I was told by her own brother she was not faithful to him and yet she denies ever cheating on him.
  • weary_wife_mother
    Posts: 4Member

    And just a side note I have been cheated on in every relationship I have ever had and would always get that feeling and if you have been cheated on you know the one I am talking about. My husband has never gave me that feeling

     

  • WillileeWillilee
    Posts: 1,006Member
    SHANK A HO. Fuck I hate a bitch ex. Who would start up some shit like that at one of their kid's events, whether she felt is was justified or not. And after 2 years. Fuck her. You either trust him or you don't, you can't spend your marriage worrying about what SHE thinks. Jesus I could seriously punch bitches like that. I hear you on how hard it is to maintain your composure. I live that shit at least twice a week.
  • LoveLove
    Posts: 12,964Administrator, Moderator
    Personally @weary_wife_mother, I think you may be doing yourself and your relationship a disservice by giving this headspace.  If you already KNOW that she is a liar and a cheat, and you previously trusted your husband 100%, don't let her take this away from you by insinuating doubt.

    community-manager


  • weary_wife_mother
    Posts: 4Member
    Thank you so much you are probably right and I know I said probably when I should just say yes you are absolutely right. I really didn't ever doubt him before and due to what she said and I have been way over emotional lately because the daughter that he and I have together is turning 1 in a week I have been a mess and thought maybe he would since I have been so crazy lately. And she probably picked up on my craziness too and just used it against me. Again thank you tons! >:D< @Love
  • TorturedbyTWINSTorturedbyTWINS
    Posts: 1,141Member
    Okay, from the crazy Ex perspective... (minus the crazy) I had to deal with my ex to get our house squared away and other business issues.  At the time we still got along, so we went out to dinner to discuss this.  He lied to her throughout the entire dinner that he wasn't with me.  I knew he lied to me ALL the time...  He also cheated.  THEN she gets prego and since we were married for 8 years I always wanted the name Kayleigh Ann when we were trying for kids.  Since 2000 I found and fell in love with this name.  Fast forward she gets pregnant, he suggests MY FREAKING BABY NAME!  So I FB'd him and simply said, "really?"   Of course he never told her where the name came from, but she found out and now hates me because he lied to her I'm sure... again.  

    I WISH I could warn her what a cheating lying sack of shit he is.... but we don't have kids together and she will find out in her own time.  I wouldn't want to ruin little Kayleighs life by causing her parents to divorce.  :-(
  • AllOrNothingAllOrNothing
    Posts: 135Member
    One of my favourite quotes: We don't see things as they are, we see things as WE are. (Anais Nin)

    People that constantly accuse others of cheating (without cause) do so because they are likely cheaters themselves. My two cents.
  • mills827
    Posts: 68Member
    lmao my DH's ex told me the same thing. She sent me a fb message and told me to watch out because he likes to cheat on his wives. I got SO paranoid that I immediately accused him of cheating. His mom told me to calm down and think about who was telling me this crap. BMs are evil (IMO.I deal with 2 of them, it sucks)
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