Voluntary CPS Case?
  • Desi
    Posts: 10Member
    There was a domestic violence incident in my home a couple months ago with my bf who no longer lives in the home. Cps is now forcing me to open a voluntary case or they would take my kids away. They originally told me to get a protective order against my bf or they would take me to court to have the judge issue one. We wanted to do counseling together, but now Cps says I can not have contact with him and he can not see our kids or they will remove my children. Does anybody have advice? And do I have to comply with a voluntary case? They originally told me 3month case then I learned they are ordering me to do 26 wks domestic violence program which is well over 3months! Please help! I'm a very good mom and my children are not abused in any way!
  • LLBLLB
    Posts: 5,622Member
    I'm not sure how they are forcing you to do it but calling it voluntary.

    Sounds like they are saying allow us to investigate and go through with the program or else we will take your kids.

    If they are telling you that you have to take a 26 week program then I would just do it! Is 6 months of classes really worth losing your children over? For me the answer would definately be no! I'd just do what they are asking! You really don't want DCF in your life any longer than absolutely necessary!
  • pdxmama
    Posts: 1,467Member
    If they are forcing you to open a case by threatening to remove your children, that's not a voluntary case. I don't know the legalities about compliance with "voluntary" cases like this, but maybe @grainne or @stevienixx could help. As far as the reasoning behind it, I know you love your kids and you said that they aren't being abused in any way. But, if they are seeing their mommy be abused there is more damage being done than you know. You are worth far more than that, and deserve to be loved and treated with respect not treated like a punching bag. I know it's hard to walk away. Believe me, I KNOW, but it's probably the single best thing you could ever do for your kids and for yourself!
  • Desi
    Posts: 10Member
    Yes, I agree. We are no longer together or living in the same home. And my kids did not see the incident that took place. They r calling it a voluntary case but I don't see anything voluntary about it. I have already enrolled in dv counseling and a parenting class. The only reason they r doing this is Becuz I said I was not going to get a protective order and I would allow him to have visitation with his son. Nothing about this seems legal. They even stated that they see no signs of abuse in my children but are doing this to prevent it in the future. This is doing more harm than good though. Now have to pay for all these classes andfigure out where to find the time.
  • Lakegirl34
    Posts: 2,814Member
    In my state the workers would be doing this because if you "voluntary" open the case and comply with the family care plan it's a different kind of case than opening an investigation against you and your husband. You can check the laws in your state but typically there is standard protocol when DV is involved and kids are in the home.
    Basically they are covering their bases for situations where the kids are being harmed but the woman/victim does not report it to protect the husband/perpetrator. In my state it's called something like a "family care plan" and typically lasts 6-15 months if all orders are completed. I'm sad to hear you're going though this. I would encourage you to contact someone from legal aid re: laws in your state and your rights.
  • stevienixxxstevienixxx
    Posts: 158Member
    it is the general consensus in child welfare that exposure to domestic vience is emotional abuse. period. that conclusion is supported by extensive research. if there was a domestic violence incident in your home, cps has the grounds to become involved. and by that, i mean that they could take you to court and a.) have your children removed from your care and have you court ordered to participate in family reunification services or b) have you court ordered to participate in family maintenance services and allow your kids to remain in your home. it may not seem like it but cps is giving you a chance to participate in services without getting the court involved. you dont want the court to be involved. it may not seem voluntary per se, but that just means that they dont have a court order. but if there was a dv incident in your home with kids present, i guarantee they can get one if you dont cooperate. cps deals with risk as well as safety. the events in your home constitute a risk tlhat without services and monitoring that the your kids will be exposed to domestic violence again. it is legit. domestic violence is harmful to kids and you are lucky they havent take more serious action. sorry if i sound harsh but i just want to make sure you understand how important it is to comply, and to demonstrate your awareness of the risk dv poses to your kids if you want cps out of your life. pm me if you have questions.

    -cps sw
  • GrainneGrainne
    Posts: 1,028Member
    Agree with stevienixx. I don't know what the legislation and laws are where you live but as stevienixx said there is a lot of research to show how damaging domestic violence is to kids. You say they did not see the incident fair enough but in my experience and research also shows that there is a lot of other negative stuff that happens in domestic violence besides an incident. It's the day to day verbal emotional abuse
    The control etc that kids are exposed to. They always pick up on the stress and fear nd anxiety that is usually present in relationships that erupt into incidents of actual physical violence and that is also damaging. There is also the chance where if there is an incident the kids can get injured in the middle of it unintentionally. CPS is giving you an opportunity to work with them to keep your kids safe and avoid future risk of harm. Please know even of they didn't witness the incident I would bet that they are very aware of the abusive dynamics in the relationship and it is effecting them even if they are not exhibiting sigs of being abused directly themselves. Kids ALWAYS know more than you think about what is going on. I'm sorry this is so hard for you but it will be worth it in the end to do this. Former CPS worker.
  • GrainneGrainne
    Posts: 1,028Member
    Just to add I agree it doesn't feel like voluntary but you do have a choice to either work with them or be compelled to by the courts. And as stevienixx said you don't want to go down the path of court involvement. Try to be open to that the cps workers just want the best for your kids just like you do
  • irishlassirishlass
    Posts: 7,057Member
    Jump through those hoops for your babies!!
    "Be who you are and say what you feel. Because those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter." - Dr. Seuss
  • Last December, my niece was threatened into a 'voluntary' case. She complied and it actually turned out to be the best thing for her. I had never heard of cases be voluntary, until hers. Not sure on DV classes. Seems that amount of time is a bit much for your situation. Good luck to you and your babes.
  • SalllyWingo
    Posts: 1,557Member
    What harm will it do?
  • VegantasticVegantastic
    Posts: 4,225Member
    irishlass said:

    Jump through those hoops for your babies!!

     


    ^^^^ Agree 100%
    "Be the change you wish to see in the world"
    "Don't Panic"
  • shadylaneshadylane
    Posts: 3,125Member
    It doesn't seem right that they can say he can't have visitation when he never abused the kids, I mean he still has rights. I understand wanting u to do all the stuff but I don't see how they can take his rights away without going thru the court.
    ~slim shady~
  • Desi
    Posts: 10Member
    Exactly! And to all of u.... I am complying. And my daughter was assessed by a therapist and they said she shows no signs of abuse. My home was and is a very happy home full of love. We had one bad incident that escalated, which shouldn't have, but it did. And the social workers even said that they have no concerns of abuse for my children. They even told me time and time again that they would not open a case against me.... Until when they asked if I would let him see the kids and I said yes if he wants visitation that's ok with me.... And now here I am! I keep reading these bad stories of how Cps just wants to take kids away and they get money for it so maybe that's not helping.

  • Desi
    Posts: 10Member
    ... Oh, and I live in CA if that helps.
  • stevienixxxstevienixxx
    Posts: 158Member
    cps needs to know that you will protect our kids, even from him. not saying that this is this case with you, but as cps workers we see so many wishy washy moms that say one thing and do another when it comes to abusive men. bottom line, if he was the primary aggressor in a dv incident where your kids were in the home, in the eyes of the law he has emotionally abused them. it sounds like cps isnt being clear with you about the position of child welfare in california re: emotional abuse and dv. i work in the same state. they want to know that visits will be in a controlled environment and im sure they probably dont want you to be the one doin them.

    and i would like to put your mind at ease about cps "taking kids for money." i am going to state, on the record, that this is the stupidest thing i ever hear about my job. one, the government has to pay thousands of dollars each month to foster family agencies, foster homes, and licensed relatives to care for kids. i have been accused of "getting commissions" for removing kids and it makes me want to laugh out loud. yeah, im rolling deep over here in my 99 subaru wagon with two dollars in my bank account at this very moment. two, ive been doing this job for quite awhile and i have never met a social worker, ever, who enjoys taking kids from their parents. even when it is the legal amd right thing to do it fucking sucks. i cry nearly every time i do it. its a lot of heartache and shitload of paperwork to take kids. third, if you are going online to read about cps, take it with a grain of salt. lots of disgruntled people will post whatever they want on the internet and cps will not violate peoples right to privacy by posting the details of cases on the internet. you are only getting one side.

    so in closing, if you are complying, keep doing so and try to use this opportunity to fix the problem so you dont have to deal with cps again. we can tell when people are just going through the motions so i hope you can learn somethig from this experience...good luck girl!
  • Desi
    Posts: 10Member
    Thank u... That makes me feel a lot better. My only issue with Cps is that they told me this voluntary case would only be for 3 months.... Then went on to say that I have to complete 26 wks of a dv program however the social wrkr can close the case when she feels like it. After I signed the paper work the wrkr went on explaining to me that the case cannot be closed til dv is complete. I feel like I've been tricked Bevuz when.calculating everything that leaves me with a 6 month case which I was told is the max for a.volunteer case. Maybe u can shed some light on me and explain Stevienixxx.
  • stevienixxxstevienixxx
    Posts: 158Member

    sometimes a social worker might have an idea of what they would like to do with a case, communicate what they believe could happen to their client, and then come back to their office and have their supervisor tell them that a completely different thing needs to happen. like in your case, maybe the social worker, after meeting with you, felt like three months would be fine, then reported back to their supervisor, who told the sw that the case needs to stay open longer.  then the sw has to go back and be the one to relay the message that the plan has changed, thus confusing everyone and making the sw look like a douche. this has happened to me many many times. :-/  i think that the sws have the benefit of meeting with the clients and getting a feel for what is going on, while supervisors just read about things on paper and hear about it second hand, and tend to be a little more strict and need that extra reassurance.  everything always looks worse on paper.  i wouldnt stress about it too much as long as you are complying with the dv classes and following whatever recommendation cps has given you for visits with the kids dad.  i understand that you feel tricked and that is unfortunate and probably could have been avoided if your sw had communicated things with you a little better.

     

    what county are you in btw?

  • Desi
    Posts: 10Member
    Yes, I understand. I'm in LA county. I have no contact with dad anymore and there is no visitation... It's just the kids and I now (2 and 5). Do u think that there is a possibility that this will close before the 6 month mark?
  • stevienixxxstevienixxx
    Posts: 158Member
    very possible, as long as things are going well. other cases that are far far worse will push their way to the front and as long as there are no problems, im sure cps will be more than happy to get rid of your case.
  • Desi
    Posts: 10Member
    :-) Thank u so much! U have no idea how much better I feel.