Discipline Advice

Stars

This evening I texted my DS17 dinner was ready and he should come home from friends house down the street. He texts me back and says he's eating there. VERY unusual but ok but my radar is buzzing so I text back ok but I want you home in 15 minutes to get home work and what not done. So then he texts me ok I lied I am at a concert with his friend and won't be home till 9 or so. What should I do to punish him ...lying is not ok and sneaking isn't either.

WildandFree

Omg! Mine are small; I'm terrified of the teen years. Maybe one of the other mommies could give you advice, but I wanted to send a great big hug your way!

Vegantastic

Mine are still to small to pull that shit but if I had done that as a teen, my mom would have driven to the venue, waited outside for me if they wouldn't let her in, and dragged me home in front of my friends. (she actually did something similar, but it was a party not a concert- and I never lied to her again!)

He fessed up, which is good. But he should still be in trouble. That would equal serious grounding at my house, plus extra chores, and probably a loss of cell phone/ internet priveleges. Lying and sneaking ARE NOT ok. (((hugs))) good luck mama!

Stars

Thanks ladies. @SAHM1020 that's exactly what I was thinking the cellphone grounding and extra chores. I was afraid maybe I was being to harsh which is why I decided to ask. This SUCKS. He's normally such a great kid but I don't think I can say bad boy and not punish him. Ya know? The thing he won't ever believe is I hate this as much as he is going to hate it. Why do they make us do this?! :-((

Vegantastic

He'll realize it when he's a parent lol I remember thinking my mother's sole purpose in life was to make sure I had no fun. I apologized to her when DD was about 4 lol That's the thing they never tell you about being a mum- it's SHITTY to be the bad-guy-grown-up all of the time!!

Sammie

@schweddyballs @undercoverbanana @love have older kiddos/teens. I'm really at a loss as to what I would do. We are nowhere near the teen years yet.

notperfect

The question I would want answered in the first place is why didn't he tell you where he was going? The rules in my house is that I know where you are. I would also ask why he felt the need to lie about being at the concert. Yes I do agree there needs to be consequences for his actions, if he wants to be treated like an adult and go where he wants to then he needs to act like an adult and be honest about where he is.

Love

Holy shit....

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooo not ok.

Why didn't he just ask if he could go to the concert?

Grounded. Period.

No car keys, no cell phone, no going ANYWHERE but school and home.

Until forever.

LOL

Or at least 2 weeks.

And THAT's for the lying about it.

Separate (total shit work) chores added to that for the initial sneaking out part.

And a LONG conversation about how lying affects the trust in a relationship, and how a Mother's trust isn't something you wanna fuck around with when you're a 17 year old boy....

AnonUser27

And get the fuck home right now!

Marley25

I have a teenager. Play the "what would happen if something happened to you" card. Cause really what would happen if he got into an accident and you thought he was at his friends house and he's on the other side of the city. It's a respect issue and a safety one.

sunnymomma

Love said:
Holy shit....

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooo not ok.

Why didn't he just ask if he could go to the concert?

Grounded. Period.

No car keys, no cell phone, no going ANYWHERE but school and home.
Until forever.
LOL
Or at least 2 weeks.

And THAT's for the lying about it.

Separate (total shit work) chores added to that for the initial sneaking out part.

And a LONG conversation about how lying affects the trust in a relationship, and how a Mother's trust isn't something you wanna fuck around with when you're a 17 year old boy....

This is how it goes in my house!!! only its grounded for a month!! and mine is a 15 yr old girl!!!

She has gone places without permission, but never to a concert, her rational for lying and not asking is that she really wanted to go and knew I would say no. *facepalm* there is a lot of eye rolling around here. Its trial and error with what gets permission granted and what didnt. Good luck!!! I also find that a "go to your room, I'll be in to talk about this when im ready and we will discuss your punishment, hand over ipod and phone" works. Leave em hanging on what your gonna say

Stars

I'm way to nice. I originally told him to hand over his cell phone and that he was grounded for 2 weeks with hard labor. He cried and begged me not to take his phone because its his only contact with his girlfriend in college and she is away from home and going through that homesick I'm so lonely phase. Which I do understand. It's hard your first year of college. SO I said he could keep his phone for her only (she really is a sweet girl) and he gets no video games and no tv for two weeks instead in addition to the hard labor while being grounded for two weeks. As I said before he's basically a good kid and usually never does this kind of stuff. But I've got a list going in my mind of the menial jobs he will be doing and better do to perfection. Like wiping down baseboards , cleaning blinds, washing nick knacks free of dust ....that will pass this weekend :)

SchweddyBalls

Yeah, I'm not the best on giving level headed proactive parenting advice on this one.....lol!!!!! I'm "that" mom you see going ape shit at the ticket guys letting them know the yes very fucking much you are letting me in because you asshats admitted my MINOR CHILD in WITHOUT my consent and he is leaving NOW........ so back the fuck up mr man!!!!! Then the next time you see me its with my 6-3, 280 lb skid being dragged out by his ear while I whip his ass with my flip flop!!!!! Needless to say, my kids are TOO scared of my deep running crazy to pull shit like this. However, his phone would be gone, grouded 2 weeks and he would be my house bitch the whole time.

alexsmommy

My oldest are 14 and soon to be 12......I am sooooooo not looking forward to this. I will just cuddle the 2 year old more tonight and beg him some more not to grow up!

MorganD

I would have a fit. Wow. Lying is a BIG no-no, and he would be grounded. Epically. Like no phone, computer, or contact with the outside world until graduation.

BellaBefana

I'm with @Love: total low tech!

Emmie

I think that he should give you the phone, and he can use it for 20 minutes twice a day to call and talk to the girlfriend. The issue is re-establishing trust...

loveit

I don't know....if he is a good kid and just made a mistake I would just ground him for a week. BUT I would say that next time it happens his ass is grass!

loveit

Oh...and I can tell he is a good kid bc he fessed up so soon. Didn't try to lie again. Good kid mamma! Teenagers are all going to lie at some point.

Beachy

I am equal parts afraid of @schweddyballs and equal parts in love.
Beating with a flip flop! Lol!

Beachy

@boomerina I would make him look up news stories on younger men who disappear and are found dead. It happens more than he might think. He probably thinks he's invincible, we all did at that age, but the truth is anything. Can happen to anyone. That might scare the fuckin crap outta him and show him that you being worried about him is valid.

Vegantastic

Beachy said:
I am equal parts afraid of @schweddyballs and equal parts in love.
Beating with a flip flop! Lol!

^^^ ME TOO!!! Lol

SchweddyBalls

@Beachy @SAHM1020 beware the pissed off mom armed with flip flops......she is packing an automatic back up weapon!!!!!!

Peace

You did good! Kudos on the be home in 15 minutes move!
Well, except for the cell phone, you softie...
Taking that would have been the hardest on him plus he would have gotten grief from his gf.
Very useful in making him think next time!

If he tries anything like that again, take the cell! He could use yours 1x a day to call her.
Ahhh, the teen years. Fun times. #:-S
Actually they really were fun overall, but good grief. They test your detective skills!