What moment has had you cringing for your kid?
  • CrashCrash
    Posts: 10,571Member
    My 8 yo autistic son pantsed himself at school play practice. And then announced "I'm never going to be pregnant!"

    I'm laughing....and crying inside. Seriously, kid? REALLY?

    I know my kid is special, in all sorts of ways, but I can't be alone! Please, let me not be alone.

    What have YOUR kids done that just make you want to disown them, or at least, make you wanna disappear from society?
    Why be a king when you can be a God?
  • bg1234
    Posts: 54Member
    i hate shots!
  • MarySunshineMarySunshine
    Posts: 7,953Member
    Nothing yet, but stick around on my FB a few years, @curious, because I'm sure at least the big one (the one who wiped his poopy hands on the air vent grate) will be the perpetrator of a few spectacles.
    "I don't poop. I create magic."- ABC

    I'm as sexy as a burp mid-kiss. Watch out!

    For every loser there's one that has to win. So bite your tongue, grit your teeth and grin...
  • BeachyBeachy
    Posts: 4,697Member
    Well not my kid, but really close enough.y BFF and sil, the same, her dd is low functioning autistic, he's just turned 21 ( yay my Junebug!) but when he was about 7 we were in a fast food place and he started getting agitated. He asked over and over why it was taking so long. But he doesn't verbalize well at all, so he's grunting and complAing. Some dude says something about kids being too loud, or not shutting up. I looked him dead in the eye and said until a few weeks ago we didn't know he could talk, so I am not hushing him for you or anyone else.
    Searching for my lost shaker of salt.
  • momma2A
    Posts: 1,148Member
    DD isn't really old enough yet, the worst thing was probably saying "fuck" in front of her "GG" (SO's grandma)

    Yes we have potty mouths, mostly me. She's been saying it since she was like 18 months but usually just at home. The one downside to having a baby with advanced language.
  • momofdbbmomofdbb
    Posts: 10,900Member
    DS 12 announced to me and his dad and my parents that he will not date anyone EVER !! We asked why and he said because SEX sounds gross and he isn't doing that ! =))
    " Wibbly wobbly timey wimey ......." The Doctor
    " I'm a leafe on the wind..watch how I soar ." Wash :((
    " Oh the wall had it comming.' Sherlock Holmes
    yea I am geek !!
  • CrashCrash
    Posts: 10,571Member
    I think you missed the part where he pulled down his pants, @OhKay....

    The pregnant part was just the icing on the cake.
    Why be a king when you can be a God?
  • Mommy_of_boys
    Posts: 10Member
    When my 7 year old was about 3 years old, we were on riding on a very crowded train when i smelled something funky.. So I get close to his ear and whisper, Did you go poop? to which he replied nice and LOUD! 'NO, MOMMY I FARTED!' While I couldnt stop laughing, I really didnt know where to put my face.. lol.. 

    oh i forgot this one. When he was about 5 years old, we saw a lady with a very large butt.. He asked nice and loud, mommy if her butt is that big and she falls will she bounce back up? I tried hard not to laugh and walked away telling him he shouldnt say things like that.. But I cracked up once I got home and was telling his father the story. 
  • @curious oh no I caught that part;) it's just so funny because he's cute I've seen his fb photos I could imagine it.
  • DreamerDreamer
    Posts: 2,473Member

    I took my kids to church last Sunday... I rarely go.. and the why.... well, I sent the kids up to part take in communion, and when it came time to take that small little teaspon of wine... ds4 swallows, makes the most god awful face and then says really loudly (and its a small church) "Is that Beer?  That gross!!"

    And then ds7 turn.  He's refusing to swallow.  He looks like he's gonna puke...and Im whispering to him just to swallow it, and he's shaking his head at me.  He did eventually, and then starts makeing gagging noises and saying how gross that was, why did I make him do that!  lol..


    There are some people who live in a dream world, and there are some who face reality; and then there are those who turn one into the other. Which one are you?
  • But Thomas the boy I nanny for. We were on the metro bus and like a 400-500 lb woman got on with a green jacket. He announce meaning he yelled she very BIG kaya and a BIG GREEN COAT YOU SEE.
  • meandmy243meandmy243
    Posts: 9,474Member
    When my ds6 was 3 he had scarlet fever and he was in the er with 104.6° fever and they sent the nurse out to get us and the nurse was a little person. My son looks at the nurse and says "damn your to short to be a doctor!" At this point my son didn't know that he himself is a little person...
    let them eat cake! because id rather have pie!!!
  • Ashdawn684Ashdawn684
    Posts: 979Member
    Over the summer dd played softball, she is the young one of the team and is almost a year younger. (She is 7) her position is catcher well she is learning and most of the balls hit her protective gear not her glove well one day during a game a ball hit her in the privates, she drops down and screams and I quote "my wiener that damn ball hit my wiener!" I was mortified I got her to shut up and told her one you don't have a wiener two you don't say damn wiener she argued with me for like 5 min that she had a wiener
    ~Live life to the fullest, or die trying~
  • pdxmama
    Posts: 1,467Member
    When ds was about 5 we were at the store and when we walked past the feminine hygiene products he exclaimed very loudly, "Mommy, are those your lady diapers?" Of course, there were a fair number of people within earshot.
  • irishlassirishlass
    Posts: 7,057Member
    Oh when I was on the bus with B when he was 2, An old woman got on the bus. Here you can take your pram on the bus with the baby in it, and theres space to sit and have the buggy near the front of the bus, so you get to see EVERYONE who walks on. 
    Well it was raining and a reeeally old lady walks on wearing a rain hat and black coat. She has a hunch in her back and she is struggling to walk. 
    B shouts 'Oh My!! LOOK A BADDIE! A bad witch mummy! Shes a bad witch!!!'
    "Be who you are and say what you feel. Because those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter." - Dr. Seuss
  • PurpleFlowersPurpleFlowers
    Posts: 6,043Member
    We were going to a birthday party and I knew there was going to be a guy there in a wheelchair with no legs. I told my 4 y.o. not to stare or ask questions about his legs. We get to the party and he proceeds right up to the guy and says "my mom says I cant ask you what happened to your legs" Omg, my face was bright red. :\">
    Stay away from my chocolate and nobody gets hurt!

    I think I like who I am becoming...
  • JustAConfusedMamaJustAConfusedMama
    Posts: 4,527Member
    My DS 18 mths with both fingers up his nose and a shit eating grin in the line at the store.  I was cracking up and grossed out at the same time, trying to tell him not to pick his nose, while trying not to burst out laughing because everyone around me was cracking up and laughing at it.
    If you would like to sponsor me for the Imagine Walk for Autism in April, for my friend's son please click the below link and donate.
  • CrabbypattyCrabbypatty
    Posts: 186Member
    When my oldest was around 4 we were in a restaraunt there was our family and only another 2 tables, at one of those tables was a man with a voice box, and DD kept turning when she heard him talk and looking at him funny, finally she says very loudly "why is a robot here, is he a monster?" I wanted to crawl under the table!
  • missmama5missmama5
    Posts: 6,874Member
    My son said once in the feminine product aisle, very loudly, "these are for mommies penis!" Lol
  • VegantasticVegantastic
    Posts: 4,225Member
    DD was about 3 and we were at the grocery store. There was a dark skinned (Haitian, I believe) mother and son in line one over. DD looks, POINTS, and says really loudly "Mummy, why's that little boy got chocolate all over his face?" OMG I almost died. Luckily she was French and not paying any attention to the yammering little English girl lol but we lived in Montreal! It wasn't the first time by ANY means that she had seen someone who wasn't white! We were the freaking minority in our neighborhood. No idea why she came out with it then...
    "Be the change you wish to see in the world"
    "Don't Panic"
  • Dragonbabyx3Dragonbabyx3
    Posts: 1,467Member
    In the middle of Wally world, my loving and sweet daughter ( did I mention LITTLE SHIT!) asked me as I was looking at shirts "Hey momma, dont bother tryin to find clothes, a reaallllyyy big blanket can cover you up" I looked at her and smiled (omg I wanted to cry) "hey honey, remember, I had to bring you and your big head into the world, don't forget, I can take you out just as quick!"  Mind you... she was 4 at the time...
  • DemandaDemanda
    Posts: 5,920Member
    I have issues when I eat fast food. Last school year I had to take him to an appointment so we stopped at McD's to grab him a quick lunch before I dropped him off back at school. Order one Happy Meal, they ask if I want anything else...I say no thanks. He pipes up, "McDonalds gives her diarrhea and she might poop her pants.". Awesome.
    Fast forward to next time were in McDonalds, he fucking did it again.
    Next time...as we're walking in, "don't worry I won't say anything about you pooping your pants this time," loud enough for everyone to hear. X(
    "The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off." ~ Gloria SteinemPhotobucket
  • instantmomo4
    Posts: 70Member
    My sd (5 at the time) pointed at my belly in the grocery store and said "your going to have a baby like mommy". I responded "no honey I don't have a baby in there" she continued "yes you do, is it going to be a boy or a girl?" I finally said "there is no baby honey, I just have a big belly!" And the cutest response "there has to be a baby in there, you're not fat!" I love her... :P
  • GritsGrits
    Posts: 4,370Member
    DD8 pretty much cured me of my embarrassment when she was little. She had no filter at all...

    Wal-Mart episode 1--she was about 8 months old and every man we passed that had a beard she called daddy.

    Episode 2--she was about 2, I was putting her in the front of the cart. As I was fastening the seatbelt, a rather larger woman walked past us and was obviously not wearing a bra. I knew it was coming, but couldn't stop it..."Momma, look at her boobies! They are so BIG!" and of course the volume was on high.

    Episode 3--She was around 2.5 or 3. We were Christmas shopping for her dad. That year, he wanted some new, awesome razor that was out. So I was paying for this razor when Kylie comes off with "Momma, is that for daddy's weiner? Cuz' I think he needs to shave that hair, too." This on the heels of her barging in on her dad getting out of the shower...he's still embarrassed about that one.

    And the last one I can remember, when DD8 was about 3, we were in an office waiting room and a very big man came in. She piped up before I could tell her not to and said "Momma, that man is too fat to sit in that chair! What if it breaks?"

    And that, my friends, is how I was cured of embarrassment. I don't think there's much else my kids could say that would embarrass me at this point in the game.
    "I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day, and I believe in miracles." ~Audrey Hepburn
  • momofdbbmomofdbb
    Posts: 10,900Member
    The bus ! Oh the people you see on the bus!! We saw a boy , he might have been 10-12 he was a double amuputee above the knee. He has prostetic legs, metal ones . DS maybe 5 years old , saw and had to comment. " look mom ! He has robot legs !!! Can I have legs like him!! I bet they are super fast !!!"
    One time I was in Walmart shopping ( duh) but I was sans kids!! I hear this voice , " Mama , look white people !!! How did they get in here, and what are they doing here !!" =)) the parents of said kid looked like they wanted to crawl under a rock ! I just laughed. I did tell the kid I came in the front door , just like him and was shopping for things for my kids.
    " Wibbly wobbly timey wimey ......." The Doctor
    " I'm a leafe on the wind..watch how I soar ." Wash :((
    " Oh the wall had it comming.' Sherlock Holmes
    yea I am geek !!
  • chaosmomchaosmom
    Posts: 4,186Member
    When ds13 was probably around 5, we had really been working with him about saying "excuse me". So we were sitting in a very crowded restaurant when starts saying excuse me excuse me EXCUSE MEEEEEE!! So I asked what he wanted to say. And very loudly I hear, I FARTED followed by hysterical laughing.

    And a few months ago, I was at the dr office with ds7. This was right in the middle of his really, really bad manic episode & everything he said was on repeat. There was a lady in there that obviously had some deformity with her neck & her voice was odd sounding. She was talking to her friend & ds7 stopped what he was doing, crawled under the table, pulled the chair in front of him & stared at her through the slats saying "you're creepy" over & over & over again. I kept whispering for him to stop but he just got louder & louder. I had to drag him out of the room (by this point, he's yelling). I hid in an empty office with my hand over his mouth until it was his turn with the dr. I wanted to absolutely disappear!!
  • bluemom
    Posts: 176Member
    I took my kids with me to the courthouse to file some paperwork for our new house. My 3 yr old dd was pissed because I couldn't carry her and push the baby's stroller. She made a huge scene as I dragged her into the office, and then once everyone was watching her, she threw herself on the floor. Her skirt came up and she was butt-naked! I have no idea when or where she took her underwear off. The harder I tried to get her to stand, the more she screamed and fought me. I have never been so embarrassed. And, I had to have that paperwork that day, so I couldn't just leave. Finally, I took the baby out of the stroller and sat him on the floor, then I strapped her in so tightly she could hardly move. I have never wanted to beat a kid so badly. But heck, I couldn't very well smack her in the courthouse,lol.
  • jfletch1719
    Posts: 119Member
    When my DD was about 6 weeks old, her dad and I were getting married, and since my parents had died several years before, I didn't have a copy of my birth certificate and I didn't know what hospital I was born in. We had to go to several different county courthouses trying to figure it out. Well, at the final one, waiting in the longest line of my life, my daughter shit. And by shit, I mean she shit up to her neck. Soaked through her clothes. And I was holding her. And I was covered in shit, too. There were no changing tables. So a very nice deputy, in a Louis Vitton suit, let me change her on her Louis Vitton blotter on her desk. I had to throw away her clothes. My sweater smelled like shit for the rest of the "adventure". But the kind folks in the line let me cut back in! We were all cringing.
  • LiquidPeppermintLiquidPeppermint
    Posts: 841Member
    DD2 comes wandering out of her bedroom willy-nilly sometimes, careening all over, running into walls because she's still half-asleep.  Sometimes I laugh and say, "What are you, drunk?" 

    Two weeks ago, we were all at a grocery store, and a homeless guy came weaving up to ask us for a handout.  DD2, sitting in the cart, pipes up, "What are you, drunk?"  He was.  I had to get the HELL out of there!  The whole store was just looking at us dumbfounded, and now I'm scared they think she hears me say that to her dad (or vice-versa) or something. 

    When DSS15 was about four, we had a similar situation.  I had picked him up from daycare, and we went to Wal-Mart.  When we passed by the jackets, he informed me that he needed a new one and showed me that the tab that he used to hang his up on the hanger at school was torn off.  He shouted, "BECAUSE MY HOOKER IS BROKE!"  Again...whole store looking at us. 
  • LiquidPeppermintLiquidPeppermint
    Posts: 841Member
    Also we were in a chinese buffet a few days ago, when DD pulled a green-n-nasty from her nose, popped it into her mouth with relish, and shouted for all to hear, "THESE BOOGERS TASTIN YUMMY!"
  • LiquidPeppermintLiquidPeppermint
    Posts: 841Member
    ANOTHER: Not mine this time.  We took my husband's brother and his family to Mesa Verde last summer.  They  have two boys, at the time 3 and 5.  SIL was having "that" time of month, and the boys had to go to the bathroom.  It was busy, and she took them into the stall.  When they came out, her oldest announced to everyone there "Mama bleeds out her butt EVERY SINGLE MONTH!"
  • crazydayscrazydays
    Posts: 1,541Member
    While I had my period tremendously bad I had to go run to the store for tampons. I had horrible cramps and its was about 105 out so I just threw a summer dress over my huge Walmart special period panties and left. As I was checking out and trying to pay the cashier my ds was standing next to me touching my dress and then all of the sudden he lifted it way up... Arms high as he could and everyone in line got a sweet peak of my lovely fat ass in nasty undies. To top it off I get home and realize I have a large blood spot on my undies too. Awesome.
  • crazydayscrazydays
    Posts: 1,541Member
    I guess that's not so much cringing for him but more cringing for me lol. It sucked. Kids!
    Posts: 166Member
    Every time I have ever taken ds to k mart he has pooped horribly. Idk what it is about k mart! The 1st time it leaked every where. Imagine a trail of poo all the way to the bathroom in the back. The last time it just smelled so bad that bystanders were gagging. Seriously. The cashier leaned over to say hello and 'oh he's so cute' when she straightened up very quickly and exclaimed 'oh my God!' Yup. We just don't go to Kmart anymore...
  • pistolpackingmomma
    Posts: 1,066Member
    when ds13 was 3 or 4 (he lived with my parents) then bf and i took him out to dinner at a chuck e cheese type family pizza place.  we were sitting at a table in a packed room and he was telling us about him having been sick.  he had no quiet voice so everyone could hear him and over the noise of this restaurant he pipes up with "my throat testicles were swollen, i'm gonna have to get my testicles cut out!"  apparently he had been learning the correct anatomical names for his boy parts and confused the word tonsils with testicles.  yeah, then bf ran for the hills...LOL
  • CherryfriesCherryfries
    Posts: 192Member
    My daughter called my ex-father-in-law a prostitute when she was about 5. I kinda wanted to die.
  • Bakerface
    Posts: 225Member
    We were in Walgreens picking up some pull ups when we walked in there was a small man standing in line my son gets so excited claps his little hands together and says with the volume of god mommy look at that teeny tiny little man he is so cute! Do you see him? He is so tiny! I could have died. We then had our conversation about how everyone is different
  • GingersnapGingersnap
    Posts: 9,696Member
    @curious - On a clear summer day at 10AM, my 6yo autistic son pantsed himself while standing on the walkway above the playground castle climbing wall, and *gleefully* peed down the climbing wall in front of about 20 kids, all ten and under, and their various relatives, guardians and sitters. I am grateful no child was climbing the wall at the time. 
    “The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.” ― Joseph Campbell
  • Texas
    Posts: 103Member
    Awhile back in Wal-Mart, I had my youngest daughter in the cart with me and my mom had my oldest in the cart with her. They were probably 3 and 5 at the time. The youngster and I passed by a little person, I saw the look on her face and promptly said "Don't. Not a word." As we were walking we come across my mom and the older. They start yelling back and forth "Did you see that little man?!" "Yes, he was so cute!" "I know!" "I wonder how he got that way!" "I hope we see him again!" "I wonder where he is!" Next aisle over, it turns out. My mom was mortified. The guy happened to walk past us and kind of smiled. 
  • Kenb
    Posts: 84Member
    i have a very extroverted 4 yr old. when i take him to the store with me he likes to speak to everybody, if a person dosent speak back to him, he will ask the person "why didnt u say hi back to me? its rude!" lol =))
  • CrashCrash
    Posts: 10,571Member
    OMG @Gingersnap. That is probably the *most* mortifying one ever!

    My 6 yo peed...on the floor of west edmonton mall. Of course, she's 6, can't hold it, so we'd already run down the hallways, had to look for the actual bathroom, and when we got there, it was full with a line up, so I went to the handicapped one to see if it was open, and that's where the "couldn't hold it a second longer!" occurred. But while we were passed by a couple of people, at least they were strangers, and it wasn't on a playground. 
    Why be a king when you can be a God?
  • OpheliaOphelia
    Posts: 4,866Member
    We were sitting at dinner the other night and just as the server brought our food Ry loudly announced "ugh.. I gotta take a dump!"

    This summer I had to take her to the er to get a cut glued. The Dr asked her if she needed anything for the pain and she said "yeah, I'll take the whole bottle. Thanks."
    Nothing left to do but smile, smile, smile.. -Grateful Dead<3
  • BunnyBunny
    Posts: 1,034Member
    This had me cringing more for myself, really. He was probably about 1 1/2 or 2, talking I know for sure. We were staning in the checkout line at walmart and that day had been kinda cool but not bad so i just wore my zip up shirt thing, long sleeved but light. He was being enterained flicking the zipper on it so I wasn't paying to much attention until he rips the zipper down, grabs both sides of the shirt and flings it open and yells "BOOBIES MOMMY BOOBIES!!" The guy behind me was laughing so hard he had to walk off. I got home and told SO about it and he laughed his ass off and high fived him. I know where he learned "boobies" from. 
    Crazy? I was crazy once...they locked me in a room with no windows. That drove me nuts. Nuts! Squirrels eat nuts. They drive me crazy. Crazy! I was crazy once..
  • BeachyBeachy
    Posts: 4,697Member
    I am laughing so hard over here! Thank you, all of you for this! I totally needed a feel good moment.
    This should be a contest!
    Searching for my lost shaker of salt.
  • TorturedbyTWINSTorturedbyTWINS
    Posts: 1,543Member
    If it's a contest I think @Bunny just won!  LMAO   =))
  • BunnyBunny
    Posts: 1,034Member
    Omg it was horrible, I mean its funny now but at the time I wanted to die.. He was actually looking AROUND me at the people behind me screaming it like "HEYYY Look here at what mommy has!". And ya know what? I haven't worn that shirt without one under it since. 
    Crazy? I was crazy once...they locked me in a room with no windows. That drove me nuts. Nuts! Squirrels eat nuts. They drive me crazy. Crazy! I was crazy once..
  • DiscoDeb
    Posts: 21Member
    This is probably the best thread ever.

    My guy doesn't talk much yet, so the worst story I have is when he was 6mo, having to change an explode-y diaper in a crowded rest area bathroom during thanksgiving weekend. I had him stripped down, trying to mop feces off his neck, and of course he's cold and pissy about it, while everyone and their mom walks by and gives me pitying looks.
  • TheHeadacheslayer
    Posts: 2,472Member
    When my DS was potty training, he proudly announced to my mom that he had a penis then asked her if she had a penis too *DIE LAUGHING*

    My DD announced loudly in the mall bathroom "YAY MOMMY YOU WENT PEE PEE ON THE POTTY!!"

    My DD--just going into those lovely teen hormonal years--freaked out at me at a friend's party and my friend AND all her guests heard my daughter freaking out. Oh yeah. That was "crawl into a corner and die".

    DD was 2, DH was away for a week on business.l I made the mistake of trying to be "independent" and take her out for a meal. Not only was the service crappy and slow, she threw THE loudest screaming tantrum ever. I was mortified. By the time the meal came to the table I was in tears and asked for to go boxes and then cried all the way home.

    Taking my DD to the hairdresser after she cut almost all her hair off. That was traumatic for me but now I can laugh about it!

  • J_mom
    Posts: 17Member
    im just worried my oldest will get teased for picking her nose at school... or that she will walk out of the bathroom without her pants up... (she does that at home all the time! )
    my 3 yr old, while i was preggo (i had bad gas)... would announce in the store quite loudly that i farted and tell me to say excuse me! ... ahhh!  :(  he is going to be my crazy one when school starts...
  • irishlassirishlass
    Posts: 7,057Member
    @bunny omg B did that too!!! He was in the trolley except we were right in the middle aisle and I was wearing a lycra top!! It was awful! The people around laughed because I did, but jesus it was full boob!!
    "Be who you are and say what you feel. Because those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter." - Dr. Seuss