this is absolutely not a quick fix. and be sure your resentment over their mom doesn't spill over to them.
don't assume that they know "what they are supposed to do" and are just being stubborn. i was in a foster home as a kid, and i had teen foster sibs that had absolutely no clue clue about hygiene, bathing, and even basic stuff like how to brush their teeth, or wash their hair completely. the other thing is that they may be resentful of basic safety rules, because they don't understand them. they have probably had to deal with so many shitty/scary/safety situations themselves, that they really don't get what you are saying.
as a matter of fact, i didn't understand the calling or letting somebody when you are going to be late thing until i was in my late 20's. it truly didn't occur to me that someone would be worried, care, or notice if i did or didn't show up. all i heard during my childhood is that i didn't matter, and nobody cared. and, at my house, nobody did.
those kids are little. really little. i seriously recomend family counseling, because it's obvious you feel a lot of resentment. remember, they don't know anything else, and they are still in survival mode. your entire family needs some coping skills.