I think she must feel isolated and misunderstood, and often times, I'm sure, judged by people who just don't get it or don't care. I used to teach special ed. and I cannot imagine what that would be like all day and all night, especially with a child who is on the moderate to severe end. Her child will always need her to that degree, where our children will eventually grow up, move out, and be independent. Finding a sitter for a special needs child is VERY hard, and in many cases, they will never grow out of needing one.
I don't think she needs to grow up or stop having a pity party. I'm just grateful I don't have to be in that situation. Then again, anyone can become disabled due to injury or illness, so you never know what the future holds. I've had students who were honor students, then had a traumatic brain injury, a high fever that caused brain damage or got brain cancer(the radiation "fried" their brains). They were reduced to wearing diapers and functioning as toddlers. They never grow out of that. Their parents never got to go out because no one they could afford or trust wants to change a 13 year-olds diaper, or deal with a kid who is non-verbal and hits, screams, and runs off...and is as big or bigger than they are. It's a very hard life.
True, being a mom is hard no matter what, but I'm sure she is just venting. I can see the frustration, but maybe she needs someone to talk to, or a night with her husband. Would you be willing to watch her kids?
I'm sure having a special needs child isn't a walk in the park, but it's not all hell all the time, either.
Just like having a non-special needs child isn't all heaven all the time. Everything's relative, everyone has challenges, and getting into a who-has-it-harder pissing contest is pretty pointless, IMO. Which is kind of what irked me about it - "you all have it so good, I have it so much harder, boo-hoo." Most of that stuff happens to all parents, not just special-needs parents.
There's no denying that having a special needs child would be more work in a lot of ways, but it would (and did) rub me the wrong way, too.
Yeah, it's relative. They can all have issues, parenting is stressful no matter what, I couldn't agree more.
That said, I am a mother of a special needs DD 5 yo. I've had my ups and downs with all of my children, a son who had a drug issue(which got very costly legally and emotionally) for a while, another who had adjustment issues and acted out bad after the divorce of my first husband, and other day to day pains that come with parenting.
I will tell you NOTHING in this world was worse for ME (not speaking for all parents) than what I've been through with my DD in her 5 years. Her first year and a half included three PICU stays which included being intubated and fighting to merely live, numerous 'regular' (I know that's not a popular word around here) hospital stays as well in that year and a year up until she was 4 years old. It seems that the hospital became our second home. We were there for several holidays, birthdays, and once when I had surgery, I had to cut my own hospital stay short to accompany her to her hospital which is 3 hours from our home. As of now she's 5 years and 8 months and is cognitively at the age of 22 months. I no longer live in constant fear of her seizures (which has lessened tons, knock on wood that trend stays) which is positive, but what they've done to her little brain is lifelong. I look at her brother who is 2 years and 9 months her junior, and he's long since surpassed her in every way. This is the totally short version of everything I have been through with her so yeah, a pity party indeed.
Parenting in every aspect is hard, I will tell you, but in my experience, the special needs part has been most challenging for me anyways but for someone else, they may be able to handle it better than say a teen with a drug issue (just throwing examples out there.)
I didn't have to read beyond the second or third in the list...nope no difference here, a mom is a mom is a mom.
And no offense, to mom's with special needs kids because I'm very, very thankful my daughter was born healthy and normal, but depending on the severity of the disorder, most of them qualify for respite care that many insurances will cover. "Regular" moms don't get a break unless they pay a sitter $10/hour.
I have a close friend who's child has Down's Syndrome, and I take my hat off to her, she has never, ever complained to me, works full time as a Nurse Practitioner, and has got the patience of Job. Gabe is a wonderful, loving, amazing child and that's due in large part to all the effort my friend has put in over the last 11-12 years as not only his mother, but his advocate, and chief cheering squad.
I have to say I really don't like the "regular" mom and "regular" kids, regular or normal is relative. Who is to say what is normal? My child is not abnormal or irregular, his is different just like everyone else. Not to say that moms of neuro typical kids don't have it rough at times, but it seems like a lot of the post are moms of young children. The thing that probably hasn't crossed your minds is that someday when your child is older, say 11, 12, 13, you will be able to leave them home and run to the store or have a date night. A parent of a special needs child won't (generally) have that ability. NT children grow up and become independent, a lot of time special needs children do not.
I understand that being a mom is hard, I really REALLY do! I promise lol, I'm just saying that sometimes NT parents don't realize how different it can be.