Etiquette and leftover turkey...
  • Lees
    Posts: 70Member

    I hosted Thanksgiving and had one bag of leftover "white meat" turkey (i.e. the "good" turkey), and one bag of leftover "dark meat" turkey. My mom loves the dark meat so I saved that bag for her to take with her. So, the next day I was looking around for the bag of the good turkey and couldn't find it, and I thought maybe my mom took the wrong bag by mistake. My mom didn't take any turkey at all. I fed 21 adults, so leftovers were pretty slim overall. 

    It turned out, a certain guest helped herself to the entire container of white meat and took it home with her, without mentioning it or saying anything to anyone. There wasn't an enormous amount of white meat left, probably about 1 lb. I did say that it was ok for people to take some leftovers if they wanted. I'm still kind of incredulous that someone would think that this was ok to take the entire container of the main event. Also, she didn't take any other leftovers. Just the WHITE MEAT. Like we were supposed to sit around eating plates of stuffing.

    I'm not going to do anything about this. I love this person despite her being like this. This is not the first time I've been gobsmacked by her behavior. I'm not going to say anything to her. Next Thanksgiving I will probably tell my husband that if he wants some leftover white meat, he'd better box it up and hide it deep in the fridge. 

    But what the heck? Is this a normal thing? Am I gobsmacked over what other people would consider normal behavior?  

  • LilbitLilbit
    Posts: 1,887Member
    Something similar happened in my family. There is a middle eastern/Mediterranean dish called grape leaves that someone in my family always makes a large pot of to bring to family functions. It's a rice ground beef mixture that is wrapped in a grape lead and to assemble enough for a gathering is a major pain in the ass, to be polite/consolation prize for getting stuck with the PITA dish whoever makes them gets to keep any extra. Well my lil cuz whose mother hosted made them this year and purposely made a lot extra so she would a lot left over. Well her uncle decided to just help himself not only to the leftovers but the damned pot they were made in as well on his way out the door. She was livid but what can you say? Atleast in my family it is considered rude to complain about someone taking food. (although the pot puts it into another league)

    Sorry that turned out longer thane pectedi just mean to say I can relate and don't know what goes through people's heads sometimes
  • MegsueMegsue
    Posts: 1,846Member
    I'm going waaaayyyyy out on a limb here...maybe she thought it was ok because you'd offered up left-overs to take home and no specifics were mentioned about anything being off limits. Or maybe she just really likes turkey? I don't know. I wouldn't ever dare take something from someone else's house unless they handed it directly to me and told me to take it. It's a respect thing for me. Even if you say "go ahead and take it/help yourself, or whatever" I won't! I don't want hard feelings over simple mistakes KWIM?

    I'd be pissed, and I would actually say something. I understand why you would t want to though. How did you find out who took it? Did she say something about it later?
  • GingersnapGingersnap
    Posts: 9,696Member
    @Lilbit said: (although the pot puts it into another league) 

    Ya think? Geez!

    Related but not the same thing: relative brings a bunch of brownies to a family gathering and then hovers over those treats telling everyone to make sure they leave some because she wants to have some left for her husband the rest of the week (her hubby is at said gathering). Dumb and annoying. Just leave the portion you wanted to keep at home and stop hassling everyone. 

    @Lees said: Next Thanksgiving I will probably tell my husband that if he wants some leftover white meat, he'd better box it up and hide it deep in the fridge. 

    Good idea! That was greedy of her. 

    “The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.” ― Joseph Campbell
  • undercoverbanana
    Posts: 12,609Member
    people are amazing. That's why I make decoy plates. I know better than to expect them to change.
    i'm nekkid.
  • Lees
    Posts: 70Member

    Well, now I'm just glad I didn't have the white meat in a good container! I know what those dolmas things are and they're good. In my world when you go to a pot luck you take home ONLY what's left of what you brought.

    I found out who took the turkey because I called my mom to find out if she'd accidentally take the wrong container of meat. She actually prefers the dark meat so I knew she would want to switch. That's when I found out she hadn't taken any. Then my mom found out who took it because I thought I must have just lost it, and so she was mourning the loss of the turkey to this person (my parents would have had leftovers with us the next day if there had been turkey - instead we just had soup), who then said that she took "some white meat so maybe that was it." Hah! Busted!  If she'd said she really wanted it, I would have said to take it and I'd have made plans for ham or something to go with all the rest of the leftovers. It was just so weird trying to look all over for it and feeling like it must have gotten thrown away, especially when I remember putting it in the fridge.