Santa... to be or not to be
  • theprincessmommytheprincessmommy
    Posts: 701Member
    Let me start out by saying I am not condemning my brother, I just don't understand his reasoning and I would never feel like this.

    So here is the story, My brother is a couple years younger than me and he has his first child who is 2. I was asking him what Santa is bringing my Nephew and he told me they didn't think they were going to do Santa, I said I understood and that he is pretty young so maybe next year. He said they didn't know if they were ever going to do Santa because they don't want him to be disappointed when he finds out he isn't real. I personally feel like they are robbing him of believing in magic, yes he might be a little disappointed when he finds out but is it better to believe and lose than never to have believed at all. I am also concerned about my Nephew destroying the illusion for my kids and other kids. I realize a lot of families do not do santa for religious reasons or personal choice, again no condemnation here. I just want feedback and I want to know if I am wrong for feeling like they are robbing my nephew of magic....

    So here are the things I would love to know to get the ball rolling...

    Did you have Santa when you were a kid?

    How old were you when you found out the truth and were you disappointed?

    Do you do santa for your kids?

    and then finally just opinions on my choice to let my kids believe in magic or my brothers to possibly not.

    Oh and let me clarify that my brother isn't damaged by Santa disappointment he doesn't even really remember the transition from believer to not so that has no bearing.

  • beachmommybeachmommy
    Posts: 3,760Member

    We did have Santa when I was a kid... but I never remember believing in Santa.  Even as a young girl I remember knowing that it was my parents who pretended they were Santa.

    I plan on doing Santa for my son.  It is such a common place "fairy tale" that I don't see any avenue for long term damage.  I mean, it's not like I am making something up that only my son will believe in and not any of his friends, or his own children someday. 

    My beach is still Sandy....
  • mommydeliriousmommydelirious
    Posts: 4,415Member
    We didn't do Santa as a kid and we don't do it in our family now. There was always still "the magic of Christmas" feeling. We just focus more on the nativity aspect of it because we are Christian. (not that all Christians don't do Santa, just our choice etc) Santa is a story I will teach my daughter about in a way that teaches her about giving etc. and as "fun" part of Christmas. We just don't have gifts under the tree "fr santa" or speak to her like he's real. 
  • GritsGrits
    Posts: 4,370Member
    I think it's more important that kids learn the concept behind Santa. It's not that he's really "magic", but that he encompasses the spirit of giving and goodwill to others. We do Santa, but my oldest has decoded the mystery. It wasn't a big deal for her, either. She's good with it, as long as she keeps getting Christmas presents.
    "I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day, and I believe in miracles." ~Audrey Hepburn
  • theprincessmommytheprincessmommy
    Posts: 701Member
    I always believed in magic as a child and I still do in some regard and I try to fuel that in my kids, Santa is actually a minor player in our house, we have fairy doors which allow brownies and Fairies access to our house. Sometimes I sprinkle fairy dust outside the fairy door, and I have some "as a gift from a fairy" that I use to help my little one be brave.

    It actually started when i told them the story of brownies and my OCD I clean in the middle of the night because I don't like people around me when I clean so it explains th sparkling house first thing in the morning better than "mommy is crazy" lol
  • KacerpieKacerpie
    Posts: 1,119Member
    I always believed in Santa, I remember staying up late on Christmas Eve too excited to sleep and thinking I was hearing reindeer hoofs on the roof. I also remember driving home from my aunts house on Christmas Eve looking at the sky and trying to figure out if any of the stars or the plane lights were Santa/Rudolph.  I don't remember when I realized it was my mom and dad, which means it probably wasn't too traumatic.

    We do have Santa come in our house. Amazingly my 7 & 8 year old still believe, which is super cool. We do have elf's (not the creepy elf on a shelf) and we feed them cookies and milk like, 2 a week at night and they move and leave little items in their stocking (My mom sends them stocking stuffer style gifts for me to use) and the kids still get super excited about it.

    I don't think its necessarily Santa that makes the magic, and I think it could still be super fun with out it, but we still do it!
    "Please don't talk mom... It makes my brain work..."
  • theprincessmommytheprincessmommy
    Posts: 701Member
    Yeah even after me a my brother stopped believing we would still leave out the cookies and milk simply because we made them together and we would have filled stockings, it always makes me smile to see how happy they are.
  • shouldcleanshouldclean
    Posts: 2,808Member
    I don't think there is any psychological harm in believing in Santa.  I don't remember when I stopped believing.  But, I do think its important to teach kids that it isn't all about receiving, it is about giving.  If my kids were older they would be going to do some volunteer work.  But they will go through their toys to donate.

  • SaraMommySaraMommy
    Posts: 878Member
    Did you have Santa when you were a kid? We sure did!!! We loved Santa.
    How old were you when you found out the truth and were you disappointed? I am the 2nd oldest of 5 kids, so I don't really remember when me and my older sister discovered the truth. I'm going to guess we were in 5th grade or so, I really don't know. We never told my parents we stopped believing because we loved it and we had to keep it going for the other kids!
    Do you do santa for your kids? Yes! DS2 still doesn't grasp the concept, but we do it anyways. I will love seeing his reaction Christmas morning in the coming years when he sees what Santa brings him.
    There is nothing wrong with having your kid believe in Santa. I never felt disappointed after finding out the truth. Christmas morning/Santa is in a lot of my childhood memories and I want the same for my kid(s). I know some people don't do Santa because they want to get credit for the gifts, but to me, I don't care about that. We never got a gift from my parents and I don't remember ever questioning it. I know where the gifts really came from and that alone is enough for me. :) To each their own!
  • shadylaneshadylane
    Posts: 3,125Member
    I personally hate santa, my parents have my dd talking about him and it pisses me off. I'm going to make sure she understands that its just for fun. I remember when I knew for sure it wasn't real and I was so disappointed, I already kind of knew it wasn't possible but people kept trying to convince me. I don't get why people do that, if ur kid is questioning a lot its time to tell them. Anyway I have no idea why my parents did santa, we're christian and since I've come back around to my faith I find it sacrilegious to make christmas all about santa and presents. Another reason is that I feel kids should know their parents worked hard to provide the gifts, they just didn't magically appear. What about the poor kids who don't get any presents, its not b/c santa didn't come b/c they were bad. I think that's just awful to tell kids if they're good santa will bring them presents, then what happens the year u can't afford it? U have them convinced of santa, now what? I know its just the mainstream thing to do or whatever and its fun and magical, I just wish people would actually think about what they're doing and not do it just b/c everyone else does and they don't want their kids to be the odd ones. At the christian school I wish I could afford, santa is a big no no, they can't have anything with him on it, no songs about him, no mention of him. I think that's how it should be, christmas is about jesus. I know not everyone is christian but I have a hard time understanding why u would celebrate the birth of jesus if u don't believe. I don't even really like christmas anymore b/c its all about spending money, even if u don't have it u still have to come up with it somehow. It becomes nothing but stress for people that can't afford it. I would actually rather people didn't get my kid so much crap, she doesn't need it and all its doing is making her expect that. I may be a scrooge but I just find the whole thing ridiculous. Not trying to offend anyone these are just my personal beliefs
    ~slim shady~
  • theprincessmommytheprincessmommy
    Posts: 701Member

    I don't think there is any psychological harm in believing in Santa.  I don't remember when I stopped believing.  But, I do think its important to teach kids that it isn't all about receiving, it is about giving.  If my kids were older they would be going to do some volunteer work.  But they will go through their toys to donate.

    I already do this, they also get special jobs to do around the holidays to earn Christmas budgets to buy gifts for the family, they clean out their toys for donations about a month before christmas.
  • squishsquish
    Posts: 1,107Member
    We had Santa growing up and I don't remember being disappointed about finding out he wasn't real. I noticed when I was 6-7 that Santa had the same handwriting as my mother. I never said anything to my parents and never went looking for any future presents ( that was my sister who did). I was the oldest and didn't want to spoil it for my siblings.

    When my parents adopted my cousin when he was one, we all knew Santa wasn't really but I felt more magic that year since we all became Santa and felt the joy he felt when he saw his presents.

    I get the same feeling now with my son. I never cared for Christmas until I had him then saw the whole season on a different light.
  • theprincessmommytheprincessmommy
    Posts: 701Member
    @Shadylane Everyone is obviously entitled to their opinions, as previously stated I am not condemning my brother. I am planning on telling my children what is believed to be the true story of St. Nicholas when they are old enough.  We celebrate Christmas because we want them to understand about giving and being gracious when they receive gifts. My husband and I are both Deists (we believe in a higher power just not in organized religion) So we celebrate Christmas because of the Ideas it entails, we do not celebrate Easter but my in-laws do with my boys which is fine (they understand the religious beliefs behind easter) We plan on educating our children on the many religions of the world and letting them choose for themselves if they would like to pursuit further teaching baptism, confirmation, and other religious practices. Anyways completely off topic there but thats what this thread was for, open discussion of our experiences. 
  • shate98shate98
    Posts: 5,020Member
    We did Santa.

    I caught my mom filling my easter basket up one year. That launched the discussion on the eater bunny, santa and the tooth fairy. I think I was 10 or 11. I was disappointed for maybe 5 seconds, but the presents were still under the tree on christmas morning, so it didn't really matter.

    BUT... 1.) we went to the same santa every year. he had a real beard and was a very nice old man. 2.) Santa stopped by my house after the neighborhood xmas eve party when I was six, caught me out of bed past my bedtime and scolded the hell out of me. (that was a neighbor/mom's friend dressed as santa) I think the combo of these two things helped keep the magic going...
    "As you wander through your life, whatever be your goal,
    keep your eye upon the doughnut, not upon the hole."
  • GingersnapGingersnap
    Posts: 9,696Member
    I did believe in Santa as a young child. I don't remember what year I figured out it was mom and dad, but I was't very disappointed. I thought it was a fun game and I kept it up until my older brother found out at school that Santa wasn't "real" (I think he was in 5th grade?) At any rate, Christmas still felt special to me because I'd be spending the day with family. It stayed that way until I was a teen, when spending a day with family meant something different. (I needed some time away from my family until I could find my own feet. )

    We have not presented Santa to our kids as something real, nor do we avoid mention of Santa or watching films with Santa. Indy is moderately Autistic, and he doesn't tell me much. I don't know what he thinks if Santa. I wonder if he considers Santa as real as Buzz Lightyear. Of course, he saw someone in a really good Buzz costume at Disney, I've no idea how he processed that. I don't know what Xander thinks on the matter, as he's not very verbal and also impacted by Autism.

    I do know my kids light up when it snows and Xander exclaims, "Snow! Christmas!" Every year Indy has a phase in late summer or early autumn when he watches Christmas movies. This year he wanted me to put up the tree when we still had air conditioning units in the windows.
    “The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.” ― Joseph Campbell
  • shadylaneshadylane
    Posts: 3,125Member
    I'm not much for organized religion either, and neither was jesus himself. Government is what made it organized, that was not his intention. I don't believe everything in the bible, not even close. I have no idea if mary was really a virgin, and don't care. All I know is I agree with what jesus himself taught and stood for so I guess that makes me a christian. I very much disagree with a lot of church's rules and practices, even my own. So I'm going to teach dd christianity even though there's a lot of it I don't like, its the closest thing to what I believe. I'm going to be honest with her though that everything she learns at church isn't necessarily true
    ~slim shady~
  • BellaBefanaBellaBefana
    Posts: 10,374Member
    We absolutely do Santa.  And I've never known a kid to be disappointed or upset that "Santa isn't real."

    You can offer him this:

    Santa's Christmas Prayer

    "Lord, You know that You're the reason
    I take Pleasure in theis season
    I don't want to take Your place,
    bur just reflect Your wondrous grace.
    And so when they begin to open
    they have been hoping,
    may they give You all the glory,
    for You're the One
    True Christmas story."
    Bite me, cupcake!
  • theprincessmommytheprincessmommy
    Posts: 701Member
    shadylane said:

    I'm not much for organized religion either, and neither was jesus himself. Government is what made it organized, that was not his intention. I don't believe everything in the bible, not even close. I have no idea if mary was really a virgin, and don't care. All I know is I agree with what jesus himself taught and stood for so I guess that makes me a christian. I very much disagree with a lot of church's rules and practices, even my own. So I'm going to teach dd christianity even though there's a lot of it I don't like, its the closest thing to what I believe. I'm going to be honest with her though that everything she learns at church isn't necessarily true

    You could go the Deist route with a more Christian Focus, explain to her that though the stories may not be real the base Ideas and Principles are the important part. Jesus taught kindness and forgiveness whether or not he was the son of god doesn't matter. Good luck it's not always easy to teach children outside the proverbial box. 
  • CinnaCinna
    Posts: 1,841Member
    I'm Christian & really struggled with the Santa thing especially when my DH comes from a country that had no Santa and he finds it silly. Then I started remembering the magic I felt looking out the window looking for Santa and the joy in my friends eyes as we talked about Santa and realized I wanted the same for my son. We do discuss the fact that we're really celebrating Jesus' birth but at 5 I don't think he gets it completely
    Two hearts! Oh baby I'm beating out a samba!
  • km.mamma
    Posts: 131Member
    I think everyone should do wht they want but we do santa and i had hiim growing it was a wonderful feeling ,i stil like to think there might be someone like santa out there!!lol
  • sunnymommasunnymomma
    Posts: 2,171Member
    Just makes me wonder how your bro expects to avoid santa in his childs life if its not for religious reasons? I believe in santa, santa is the man behind the magic, the physical thing you can attach to the ideas behind the season of giving. Santa always came to my house when I was a child and I have no Idea how old I was when I stopped believing, I dont have a memory of not believing. Even as a mother I believe. Santa is the man who helps me pull a miracle out of my butt every year and make christmas a wonderful day for my daughter. Santa has never given the most presents or the best presents, but he always gives something. 
    I am me, and I am loved
  • warriormommy3warriormommy3
    Posts: 207Member
    my mom didnt do santa for me and my brothers when we were little.. the presents were under the tree like 2 weeks before didnt affect me as a child but now that im older i feel like we missed out.. i do it for my kids and i dont think theyll be traumatized at one point not believing in santa... i think santa is meant to be fun and give kids a little magic when they are small
  • RagingRachRagingRach
    Posts: 264Member
    I never remember believing in Santa. I told DD4 that Santa is pretend, it's just for fun. She really didn't care. I don't need an old fat guy taking credit for gifts that were worked for. It's the spirit of giving gifts to others and seeing their enjoyment. We tried the whole "Santa knows if you've been naughty" and she didn't buy it, so it wasn't a hard decision to just tell the truth.
  • SpringSpring
    Posts: 2,084Member
    I was about nine when I found out there was no Santa. I suddenly questioned the validity and my mom told me how he was not real but that the story behind him should live in our hearts. My sister, however was absolutely crushed at 12 when my mom was finally like, okay look.... She fought hard with kids in school who told her he wasn't real... 
    DD is 4. I didn't care at all either way, I had arguments in my head for both sides, believing or not believing, and last year we didn't do Santa and she didn't notice. This year, her BFF told her about Santa and DD got excited about him. I told her about him and why he existed- that he brought presents and ESPECIALLY to kids who might not get presents otherwise. I'm trying hard to teach her to have a giving spirit and used him as an example we should all live by. She sat on his lap and my super shy baby spoke up and told Hawaiian Santa what she wanted and she's soooo excited about it. I'm glad she believes in him now. It's really sweet. 
    "Sometimes I question my sanity. Sometimes it replies."
  • GPAMomGPAMom
    Posts: 562Member
    We don't. It's not that I'm worried about them being disappointed someday. It's that we don't lie to our children. We don't lie about Santa, the tooth fairy, where babies come from, our personal opinions on God or religion or anything else. We want our children to trust us when we tell them something and we want them to be honest with us. Will they always be? I don't know. But it seems odd when parents lie to their kids about big and little stuff and then seem surprised when their kids lie back to them.

    Eh. That's what works for us and our family. Your experience may vary.
  • irishlassirishlass
    Posts: 7,057Member
    @shadylane there is another thread here. Christmas actually isnt about the birth of Jesus for everyone. And it wasnt originally. - just a side note so you are informed. 

    My parents never explicitly said that santa was or wasnt real. It was my sisters who said it all and had me totally excited. My parents obviously played along. 

    But 'Santa' is the spirit of Christmas. The spirit of giving and kindness. 
    "Be who you are and say what you feel. Because those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter." - Dr. Seuss
  • shadylaneshadylane
    Posts: 3,125Member
    I know that jesus wasn't actually born on dec 25. But that's the day chosen to celebrate his birth, hence CHRISTmas. I know that there were other winter holidays before that, of different beliefs, I guess I just don't get why u would say ur celebrating actual christmas, and not yule or something. Idk, its just hard for me to understand why u would celebrate a holiday that u don't believe in, but I know its become so commercialized that people don't even think about the true meaning. They just follow along with what everyone else is doing like sheep and don't give a second thought to what they're doing actually means. This is not in reference to anyone in particular its just how I feel about america in general. But yeah ur right @irishlass about deist probably being closer to what I believe, I just think there's a higher power and I don't think anyone can really know what he/she thinks or what's going to happen when we die. And I think people that claim to know it all have a rude awakening in store. Its just easier to claim christianity what with my family and all, and it would probably be hard to find a church of some kind that I could go to that practiced my beliefs. Our church has a great kids program and some really nice people, it would be hard for me to justify leaving to myself so I just go and listen and think to myself well that is so not true lol
    ~slim shady~
  • shadylaneshadylane
    Posts: 3,125Member
    I mean @princessmommy sorry
    ~slim shady~
  • We had Santa as kids & our kids have Santa now. As other people have stated it is the magic & innocence of the kids believing that does it for me. Almost everytime the kids start talking about Santa & reindeer & elves I get all mushy & teary eyed. They truly believe & its just one of the best parts of being a parent. We can relive the easy innocence of a child. Santa brings all the presents at our house & we are cool with that. They get more than enough from real people & never question why we don't get them anything. DH & I have not exchanged gifts for many years because the happiness of the kids is enough of a gift for us. And really its a community pot around here so if either of us wants something we save & buy it. As for the religious aspect....its really nonexistant here. DH & I are both Roman Catholics (yeah the child molester type church) and all that nasty Shit turned us both off to religion. DH and I have received all sacraments except marriage but our kids have only been baptized so they have no idea what church is. But for us you don't need it for the magic of Santa. Mayne we have it ass backwards & it will bite us in the ass in the long run but it works now.
  • theprincessmommytheprincessmommy
    Posts: 701Member
    @irshlass- I am all about the spirit of giving too, I freaking sent out my Secret Scary gift the same day i got her name because I was so excited to gift her something that would help. I remember the year I found out and my brother still believed I was so excited to see his face and I even asked if I could help do his stocking after he went to bed. My parents let me bite the cookie and put bows on some stuff and then sent me to bed so santa could visit me ;) I don't know why I love Christmas as much as I do its just my favorite and I usually don't get anything but a cup of coffee and big smiles hugs and thank's enough for me.

    @shadylane nothing wrong with being a member of the church for community or faith or any other reason you want to be part of it. I am a member of a church I go there to reaffirm my personal faith sometimes because it is beautiful and quiet and allows me to reflect on the complexities that are humans. I also love hymns, music makes my soul feel better. I don't shout that I am a deist to the congregation and I don't hold many of there beliefs but they are a good community and nice people. Just like here! 

    @missbeing_a_deadhead- yeah the magic is great I love to see them light up. I always tell them that santa has to visit everyone so he picks a special couple of things just for you. My older son actually asked for legos and for "santa to use his best judgement" lol
    My DH is a reformed Catholic as well (he says if you want to cure someone of religion send them to catholic school) We haven't gotten ours baptised though we get a LOT of family disdain, it is their choice and I don't think any higher power would condemn my children to purgatory but I understand the appeal of just doing it so family will lay off.
  • WhoDatIsWhoDatIs
    Posts: 1,453Member
    Yes we had Santa when I was a kid. I was amazed that my mom did all that for us when I found out who it really was, it also explained why I never got what I wanted. We were poor. Mom used to have us make lists of what we wanted from Santa and we would dream big just like any kid when you tell them presents will magically appear one morning, and then the disappointment came when I wouldn't get what I asked Santa for. I always wondered why, if Santa could give my friends these wonderful gifts THEY asked for, why couldn't he just do that for me? What did I do wrong? 

    Well now I have my own kids (10,8,6 yrs old), for the first few years, I did Santa, I spent a lot of money and bought lots of presents, then as life went on and I had less money it turned into 1 present from me and 3 from Santa, but the good ones were from Santa. Well, that year, my kids said Thank You to me for the dinky present, and either complained about the ones from Santa or were indifferent. I had spent a lot of time making enough money for those presents and they thought some fat guy came and dropped it down the chimney just like that?! HELL NO! 
    I told my kids that I'm Santa. I told them they will no longer get presents from Santa because I can hardly afford 1 present for them now, this year not at all. We do not do lists, we do not have conversations about what material objects they "want", we do not visit Santa at the mall to take pictures. 
    I cannot stand to set my children up to believe that Santa will bring them any toy they ask for, and then disappoint them every year. 
    I want my children to be grounded in reality so they have the best chance to overcome life's hardships, being in denial about things means you cannot improve on them. 
    We cannot afford to believe in magic. 
    We cannot afford to go along with the materialistic BS of the season. 

    This is the way my family does it, materialism doesn't fit in with the morals I want my kids to have. Even the gifts I get them are games and items that can be shared between them or played with by all. We spend Christmas baking, playing games together and crafting. 
     Now, that being said, I highly encourage my children to BE Santa's. We talked about GIVING, about what we can do to give to others besides buying them gifts. We give our extra food stuffs to food banks, we give our clothes to needy families, we give our toys we don't play with to the Children's home, we give and give all the time. And during this season we make baked goods for friends and family.
    We looked up the origins of Santa Clause and why his legend came about, and we strive to hold true to the generous nature that his legend talks about. 

    You and me, we go way back.
  • WhoDatIsWhoDatIs
    Posts: 1,453Member
    It's also about lying for me too. I was lied to about a lot of crap, inadvertently, but still lied to and I was out to lunch as a young adult. I had no clue what the fuck was reality. But for my extended family, avoiding the truth and being in denial, not talking about things is the way they are about everything in life, maybe I'm going way overboard the other direction, but I talk about it all with my kids. They wish I wouldn't I'm sure. 

     I do the toothfairy thing, because I started it, but I told them it's me now and I just give a pack of sugarless gum anyway so it's somthing they have now and again whether they lose a tooth or not. we don't do an easter egg hunt at all, no church, we did halloween this year because we had time and their dad bought them costumes. I'm big on researching why holidays are there and teaching my kids about it. 
    You and me, we go way back.
  • theprincessmommytheprincessmommy
    Posts: 701Member

    I'm sorry you have a hard time during the holidays, I can understand that, we have been their more than once. I love to be able to give my kids presents, but I try to instill the proper meaning of christmas to them. Santa doesn't bring the big presents at my house. We are actually doing 2 joint presents for them this year and then candy. I don't do Easter because I feel like a fraud with my beliefs we do let my in-laws do easter with the boys though and have explained what it is celebrated for. I actually have always felt that that is the most ridiculously commercialized holiday WTF does the easter bunny have to do with Jesus Christs resurrection, at least Christmas has an actual saint behind the madness. We do the toothfairy and halloween. Valentines day is a big one for me but not the commercialized bit, I always have a nice date with hubby and make him a homemade treat and a nice dinner, he rents us a movie and gets popcorn and candy bars (I really hate boxed chocolate, who thought that was a good idea) i know its silly but I always loved the story of saint Valentine and so we always have a date that day. 
  • fatchickonabikefatchickonabike
    Posts: 6,590Member
    We had Santa when I was a kid. When I was 5 or 6 I figured it out and asked for confirmation that Santa wasn't real and no one would tell me the truth. I can't begin to tell you how furious that made me. We did Santa with DD, but when she asked me if Santa was real, I told her the truth, but I also told her not to ruin it for other kids, because there were plenty of kids who still believed in him. I don't think there's any harm in the magic part of it, as long as you tell your kids the truth when they ask. But that's a principle I live by in all my parenting, not just Christmas stuff.
    Part of growing up is learning to forgive your parents for being human.
  • Did you have Santa when you were a kid?  Yes

    How old were you when you found out the truth and were you disappointed?  I don't even remember when I found out, so I guess I must not have been tooupset about it

    Do you do santa for your kids?  Yes, my oldest is 11 and he doesn't believe anymore, but he plays along for his brother.  Even before he had a little brother he played along with the Santa thing anyway (he was worried that I didn't know about Santa)

    and then finally just opinions on my choice to let my kids believe in magic or my brothers to possibly not.  I don't see why you should take the magic away, childhood is already getting shorter and shorter, why not give them a little magic when they are young? 
  • kcsmommykcsmommy
    Posts: 264Member
    When I was a kid we had Santa, and I dont know how my mother managed it because she was a single mother with no help from our father and on welfare. My mother told me that Santa doesnt bring expensive gifts though and so I never expected anything big. I was pretty much happy with whatever we got because we were so poor and the only time we got toys was for Christmas, Birthdays and Easter. My mother did wrap gifts that she had confiscated from us (if we left toys laying around she would confiscated them); she always said we were always more excited to see our old toys than many of our new ones.
    When did I stop believing in Santa?? I was 13 when I was told there was no such thing as Santa Claus by a teacher and I was 14 when I choose to believe the teacher. My youger sister found out about the same time I did (12-13 years old) my daughter who is 16 now was about 12 when she stopped believing and my 6 yr old son still believes.
    When I finally decided to believe that there was no Santa I was a little disapointed until my mother let me help play Santa for my younger siblings and eventually take over the job. As far as the issue of fear that my child might resient them for lying to them, I think somtimes its how you approach the subject. I never felt lied to or cheated by my mother that there was no Santa, but she never told me that there was no such thing as Santa she said he was and is a real person because we pass the tradition on from parents to children and as long as we keep the tradition alive Santa will live forever....
    I totally believe that there should be magic in childhood, that is what makes childhood magical and it's not just Santa and the Easter bunny and the tooth fairy, but just children's belief that animals and toys can talk when we aren't watching/listening for it, that there are faries and dragons and more. I don't think taking the magic from them makes them better off there is enough reality in life as an adult why take an already short childhood away from them? I totally understand if you cant afford Christmas or for religious reasons telling Children there is no Santa Clause and to each their own! I do find it's annoying when non-believing children ruin it for other children or even worse when its the adults themselves that ruin it for others children.
    My family celebrates Yule/Christmas with Santa Claus although if it were up to my husband we wouldn't. He hates holidays in general especially Christmas (he believes holidays are invented to get people to stimulate the economy). He also hates that Santa gets the credit for some of the gifts, he thinks that he should (although he does nothing). I believe in the opposite I don't need the credit for it. I have always taught my children it's not about the getting, its about the giving and caring. My daughter is very generous, and my son is learning (he is at that selfish age) my daughter and I would play Santa to the world if we could. My children and I do the Angel Trees, food banks, Secret Santa's for neighbors and friends, and if I find out someone needs help we will anonymously help those people out with gifts, bills whatever will help them. Last year just a few days before Christmas I found out a woman from my class couldn't afford Christmas for her kids so she had told her little girls there was no such thing, and I am the kind of person that believes all children should get something for Christmas so with the last $50 in my account and some of the toys from my toy stash I brought their family some Christmas. I could just imagine their looks in the morning when they found it and that was enough for me. I just took my little boy shopping yesterday for his little boy (angel boy) and he was so excited to pick out a special toy for this little kid (it was mostly clothes on the list and he wanted to get the kid toys). That is what makes Yule/Christmas for us... The joy of the children the helping others in need and being with family.