I don't know how to tell my friend...
  • GirdyOleeGirdyOlee
    Posts: 471Member
    Awhile back... close to a month ago, my best friend, my ONLY true friend, loaned me her old junky Ford Explorer because I needed a way to pick up my DD14 from basketball practice when my STBXH has my car to get to and from work at nights.  THEN the fuel pump went out in my car last week. Her truck has always been her "loaner" to her friends whenever they are in need, and that's why she's kept it, rather than get rid of it. She's that kind of an awesome friend.

    Well, I work really early in the (COLD) mornings, and went to start it this morning, and it was REALLY LOUD... like a knocking spinning sound. I'm pretty sure it blew a rod, or something equally devastating. I can't afford to replace the engine. She was always wary of loaning out for very long, because she knows it was on it's "last legs".

    Of course, my luck... I have it for a good stretch of time, and it craps out.  I don't know how to tell her. I know for a fact she'll be pissed. Maybe not pissed at ME, so much as pissed that my situation is going to cause her hardship. I know she loves me, and I love her and respect her SO much that I am terrified to tell her this.  I don't want to lose a friend over a pile of metal, and I do want to make it right.  I'm in a money bind right now, because the STBXH was unemployed for over two years. We were just starting to dig ourselves out, and seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and now this.  I am so bummed. Any suggestions how I break it to her gently?
  • undercoverbanana
    Posts: 12,609Member
    Tell her honestly and asap. If she knew it was on its last legs, I'm sure she knew why. She knows you didn't do it.
    i'm nekkid.
  • tothemoonandbacktothemoonandback
    Posts: 3,934Member
    Maybe start with "Remember how you've said the explorer is on it's last leg...?"

    Hope it goes ok!
    Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius, and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring. - Marilyn Monroe
  • GirdyOleeGirdyOlee
    Posts: 471Member
    I was thinking I'd have a mechanic look at it first... to get a definitive, "yes the thing is dead" or an idea of how much it would cost to fix it (if it's fixable), so when I talk to her, I have choices to give her so I can make this right. I am dreading this. What do you think @tothemoonandback?
  • tothemoonandbacktothemoonandback
    Posts: 3,934Member
    I think that's a great idea, then (hopefully) you can say it's not as bad as you first thought!  But do it quickly so you don't have the stress hanging over your head til you can tell her :)
    Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius, and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring. - Marilyn Monroe
  • GirdyOleeGirdyOlee
    Posts: 471Member
    I sure hope you're right.
    :-S
  • undercoverbanana
    Posts: 12,609Member
    hon, she knew it was going to die. she told you so. you didn't break it. she's knows it's been coming.
    i'm nekkid.
  • fatchickonabikefatchickonabike
    Posts: 6,590Member

    If I were your awesome friend, I would know it was only a matter of time. Yeah, I probably wouldn't be happy that it died, but I definitely wouldn't blame you, especially if the only reason I kept the vehicle was so I could loan it to friends in need. If it really is dead or in need of expensive repairs, I would probably not bother having it fixed, but that's just me. Your friend may feel otherwise. You could always offer to give her some money at some point in the future when things aren't so tight. Right now, you can't give what you don't have.

    Part of growing up is learning to forgive your parents for being human.
  • KrabbyKay
    Posts: 5,914Member
    I think that's smart, having the mechanic look at it and have concrete things to say. That way at least you aren't saying "Hey the POS finally crapped out" (not that you would say THAT...). And it's totally not YOUR fault!! 
  • GirdyOleeGirdyOlee
    Posts: 471Member
    @fatchickonabike, thanks for that. That's what I'm hoping she'll say. I still haven't told her, since the mechanic friend of mine hasn't come by, yet. It's blizzard weather here in KS, so who knows when he'll be by. :(

    @KrabbyKay, I wish I could say that... I hate that vehicle right now!!!
  • fraziermommy75fraziermommy75
    Posts: 36Member
    Having someone look at it is a great idea, that way maybe if she can pay to get it fixed (if its fixable) and you can always pay her in installments, she might not be upset if she knows your willing to help pay to fix it and not dumping the problem on her.  Good Luck :(
    The problem with secrets is even when you think you're in control, you're not...