I'm probably naive......
  • lostinthewindlostinthewind
    Posts: 1,617Member
    So probably not the best thing in the world, but my kids (as far as I know) have no idea about the sandy hook shooting. I haven't told them because I want them to feel they are safe at school. I also haven't told them because they are pretty sensitive kids. They haven't mentioned it to me either. So either they don't know or they do and don't want to talk about it. Any thoughts on whether I should even bother bringing it up?
  • DemandaDemanda
    Posts: 5,920Member
    I wouldn't have told mine if they didn't already know.
    "The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off." ~ Gloria SteinemPhotobucket
  • BeachyBeachy
    Posts: 4,697Member
    How old are your kids?
    My boo is 4, started pre about 6 weeks ago and I haven't said anything to her. I wouldn't tell her the specifics, but I haven't even addressed personal safety if you see a gun. And I feel like shit about it.
    I will rectify this as soon as she goes back to school.
    (I have addressed other safety issues like no touching, stranger danger, etc. but this one I am having a hard time with)
    Searching for my lost shaker of salt.
  • scotiamama
    Posts: 1,527Member
    Mine are 8&6 and they don't know about it. Don't want them to
  • BellaBefanaBellaBefana
    Posts: 10,374Member
    Mine's 4 too, I didn't mention it to her, avoided all news reports about it while she was around.  Thank God I can protect her from the ugliness a little while longer.
    Bite me, cupcake!
  • CinnaCinna
    Posts: 1,841Member
    Mine is five & I haven't mentioned it at all. I do not want him to live in fear. I did not fear deranged gunmen when I was in school & neither should he. As far as gun safety goes....honestly I don't know what to tell him. I'd like to think our area is safe....but so did the citizens of Sandy hook.
    Two hearts! Oh baby I'm beating out a samba!
  • sanitylost
    Posts: 66Member
    I didn't mention it to my 7 or 4 yr olds.  I don't want them to be afraid of going to school.  Before they go back to school however, we do need to have some kind of discussion with them.  Im not going to tell them about the CT shooting but, we need to talk about what if's.... The past three days there has been a bomb threat every single day at a High School a couple towns over, and in the other direction a few towns over there were live rounds found in a cafeteria at an elementary school.  We got notes today about how over break they are installing a buzzer system to get in and out of the building and that drills will be gone over with a few times when they get back. 
  • realtormomrealtormom
    Posts: 722Member
    I haven't told my girls, 5&7, and hope they never learn of it
    The past has a vote, not a veto ~ Moredecai Kaplan
  • undercoverbanana
    Posts: 12,609Member
    Depends on how old your kids are. And, if they start acting fearful or antsy or asking odd questions. If they are older, or have friends with older siblings, they might hear about it.
    If they are very young, and haven't asked, leave it alone. If they start asking odd questions, or seem afraid, ask them a lot of questions to see what they have heard, and then decide. But, no matter what you do, tell them the bad guy is all gone, he will never hurt anybody else, and tell them they are safe.....and ask someone at their school board some hard questions to make sure they are safe.
    i'm nekkid.
  • shouldcleanshouldclean
    Posts: 2,808Member
    My son is 5. I have no intention of telling him. I don't think he needs to know and I don't think he would understand anyways
  • lostinthewindlostinthewind
    Posts: 1,617Member
    They are 9&10 and know plenty about guns and the safety REQUIRED around them. We have guns in our home and they know when and how to use them correctly! We are hunters and go out target shooting frequently, in my families opinion this and home safety are the only reasons to own a gun. My children know this. I still want to protect them from the horrors of the world. We don't have cable so they haven't seen anything on the news, but I still worry that they may have heard about it through school friends. They also know that even the discussion of guns at school is not ok.
  • undercoverbanana
    Posts: 12,609Member

    if they haven't heard about it, leave it alone. if you hear them talking about it, or they ask odd questions, address it.

    because they are are tweens i would ask some questions, and let them lead. ask leading questions. don't give them a yes or no.  ex: how did you feel? what did you hear? that boy said what? no, maybe he's not wrong, i need more details. it's more important to find out what they have heard, and nuetralize any fears you can without lying.  if you get into a tough spot, tag somebody. just say "i'm not sure....let me find out." they deserve honest answers. we will be there."let me ask someone who knows". fuck....if all you do is tag the f.b.i. and ask "what do i tell my kids"? they should already be working on that. and if they are not, they should.and your state police department. because.......our kids need answers.

    i'm nekkid.
  • just_kimjust_kim
    Posts: 559Member
    Obviously our tv is on way too much! All 3 of my kids know (ages 6, 10, 12). Mostly due to the local news, which is covering this tragedy endlessly. We have had 2 mass shootings here in the Milwaukee area recently, and the news is on regularly in our house, tho I am not sure if they watch it or tune it out.
    Over the weekend, I talked to each one of them, tried to use age appropriate language, and asked what they knew, & if they had any questions.
    Then I took a deep breath & asked the older ones what they thought they'd do if they heard gunfire at school, or anywhere else. They both said they would try to run away. So we talked about running or hiding. I tried to convince myself it's like talking about fire safety, but it's hard. But I wanted them to know it's ok to talk to me about anything.
  • undercoverbanana
    Posts: 12,609Member
    if you don't know the answer, just say, i don't know. it bothers me,too. let's ask the state/county/federal/cops. f.b.i. etc. whatever makes them feel more in control......withouthout obsessing. and, if you get no answer, go to a pastor, rabbi, imam...who is a nice, good guy good father,, and is good with kids.....i don't know....just.....hugs.......i can't explain this to my grown up, very secular kids......just pick a loving person to explain it to your little kids, whatever your faith is, if you can't handle it......and....no shame if you can't handle it. i couldn't, either. all my kids cried. and they are big kids. all bigger and taller than me. this is a tough thing.
    i'm nekkid.
  • just_kimjust_kim
    Posts: 559Member
    Just caught your last post... My 12 year old said his classmates were talking about it. They all agreed that the guy was crazy to shoot little kids like that (a direct quote).
    My 10 year old said no one in his class was really talking about it. He is the one I'm trying to get to open up, but he didn't want to talk much.
    I pretty much just told my 6 year old that a bad guy hurt some little kids, but the teachers & cops did their jobs to help the little kids . Managed to not cry. She just said ok & went on to her next train of thought...Christmas!
  • undercoverbanana
    Posts: 12,609Member

    i don't know what to say to my kids..................other than you are my baby, and you piss me off all the time..............i hope you told me when you had a problem.............and, if you were a royal pain in the ass to a particular teacher, i owe that teacher a thank you..............

        omg.......my kids are high school graduates.... are you fucking serious i owe third grade science teachers an apology because you were curious??????

     i am still sending 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th grade teachers home baked apologies every fucking year....because my devious, curious, naughty and bad babies were inspired .

    i'm nekkid.
  • stinkersmommystinkersmommy
    Posts: 1,887Member
    Mine is 4 (he will be 5 next month) and since he isn't in school or daycare he is and will remain oblivious. I am not going to scare him before he starts K which he is already really excited but nervous about and it isn't til August!
  • meandmy243meandmy243
    Posts: 9,474Member
    My boys are 6. they dont know.
    let them eat cake! because id rather have pie!!!
  • undercoverbanana
    Posts: 12,609Member
    @just_kim  my kids love over 90% of all their teachers they have ever had, they ever had, ever. and even the crappy ones, they either felt sorry for, or entertained them. made them learn, dispite their disinterest in the subject matter. i have no doubt, the crappy math teacher that got fired for showing up drunk on his birthday................would have protected the kids. the english teacher that thought edgar allan poe cut off his ear (it was vincent van gogh) would have protected the kids. and i damn well know that the tennis coach/ poetry teacher/ramones fan/ would have killed or died for whatever kid was in the way of a bullet..................................do you know what i want? i would love for anyone who is passionate and qualified about their subject to be able to afford to teach because they love their subject, and love teaching.....whatever age group they choose...............and never need armed fucker invasion trinng....................because the gun lobbies will pay taxes to take care of security..................and.....so will drug companies. so teachers can teach without fear. i would love teachers to be paid not just fairly, but competitvely.......i would like teachers to not just teach, but live in a safe enironment......i would love for our teachers do love what they do, and others to be inspired to qualify to teach. fuck football players. no....fuck football team owners......our teachers need to be safe, paid well, and appreciated. period. unless we want to be a third world country in the next two generations.
    i'm nekkid.
  • RosamundiRosamundi
    Posts: 1,412Member
    I had been very carefully monitoring the news so it wouldn't reach my DS8, but then they talked about it in his Sunday school class at church, prayed for the families, etc. He wasn't all that torn up, we had about a fifteen second conversation about it and moved on. When his school was closed today because of a threat to the local high school, we just told him that school was out a day early for the holiday. My DS4 is completely oblivious, as he should be.
  • momofdbbmomofdbb
    Posts: 10,900Member
    My DS 4 no wait he is 5 now !!! Lol. Hasn't been told about it but I think he knows a little. He picks up on things. DS 13 knows they were supposed to write an essay on how it made him feel but we talked to his aide and he doesn't have to do that. Emotions are hard for DS to understand. He has them but because of his autism he can't quite express them well.
    " Wibbly wobbly timey wimey ......." The Doctor
    " I'm a leafe on the wind..watch how I soar ." Wash :((
    " Oh the wall had it comming.' Sherlock Holmes
    yea I am geek !!
  • BlessieBlessie
    Posts: 2,108Member
    Haven't said anything to DS6 or DD4
  • lostinthewindlostinthewind
    Posts: 1,617Member
    @undercover, my kids are tweens?!?!?!? Oh man I've been fighting that fact oh so hard!!!!!! They still believe in Santa, they can't be tweens! For now I'm gonna let sleeping dogs lie, if they ask questions I know I have all of you to come to for support and maybe some hints on how to get through the answers they're looking for with out tears.
  • My kids are 8, 5 & 3. They do not know & we plan to keep it that way.
  • PrincessPeach
    Posts: 229Member
    I didn't have a long discussion with DD7 about it. We overheard it on the news but I just refuse to sit and watch/listen to the barrage of information. I asked her if they discussed it at school and she said no. I Don't think she understands the reality of it and frankly it's too heavy even for me to wrap my head around it. I'm not trying to dig my head in the sand but there is so much negativity in the world. I do as much as I can to keep her safe and let her know I love her every day.

    ETA: we have had a lot of copy cat threats/scares here (FL) in the last week. Kids and adults. It is a sick way to get noticed and I really wish the media here would stop posting these alerts until they have all the facts. The sad thing is they are getting attention/fame but they really need help/counseling.
  • GalFriday
    Posts: 33Member

    My three year old was playing with the remote when the moment of silence was on this morning. He wanted to know why they were ringing a bell and no one was talking, but there were pictures of people. I told him very simply that last week a very sick man did a very bad thing and hurt many many people and the bell was to help remember all the people. It was enough for him.


  • ChristyJChristyJ
    Posts: 982Member
    Sorry.  Was going to link a guideline on how to discuss with your children depending upon their age from our school and the website is down.  Doubt it will be up before next week.
    Imperfect and proud of it.
  • fraziermommy75fraziermommy75
    Posts: 36Member
    My boys are 7 & 12 (almost 13) I choose to tell them so we could talk about it and they heard correct information instead of wrong information, you can choose to tell them a pg version.  But whatever you choose is whats best for your kids...
    The problem with secrets is even when you think you're in control, you're not...

  • GingersnapGingersnap
    Posts: 9,696Member
    We haven't discussed it with our kids. I haven't watched any broadcasts with them around, just read about it. Their teachers aren't talking about it. They are 9 & 5, and with their delays I don't know how or why I would explain it at their developmental level. I think we have to meet our kids on their level about this, and not all of us will tell our kids.
    “The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.” ― Joseph Campbell