Spoiled Brat
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    Im a mother of 4 and I need help. I have 5y/o daughter who's living with my mother-in-law. I left my 5y/o daughter to my In-law bcoz I am going to see her Dad abroad.Her Dad is having issue of 3rd party so I went abroad to talk about it. Since then that talk becomes staying-in beside her Dad abroad. And she (daughter) left on my in-law's hand. She was just 7months when I left and now we finally settle our life in our own country but my daughter is still with my In-laws. My husband and I really want our daughter back. But we are afraid that his Mother will get sad.We've been trying to pleased and ask our daughter to stay with us. I told her everything to satisfy her but she still want her Granny. It's really sad and Im really hurt to hear it. I fell like a irresponsible mother to leave my daughter behind and now it's hard for me to get win her back. I really want to be with her and teach her. Teach her because many people including my Landlord see her like she was a very spoiled brat. She is sweet only her wrong doing is she always get what she wants.One time my eldest daughter, my niece and my 5 y/o daughter is using my laptop watching Youtube suddenly she is calling her Dad saying that she cannot use the laptop because her sister and my niece don't allow her. I saw with my 2 eyes that they we're watching youtube quietly but i didn't speak since she ran to her Daddy.Instead of my husband saying the truth of they were actually watching the youtube together he asked the 2girls to let my 5 y/o daughter use it. And so the 2 girls left my laptop murmuring and let her use it alone.Other incidence like she sit infront of our car wherever/whenever we go. I always stop this wrong doing of my daughter but it didn't happen.I think my 5y/o is becoming a boss. I want to teach her to become a normal kid and not a spoiled brat.How will I talk to my husband about this issue?I felt like an accessory in this family..can't decide and never heard.
  • InsanityandChaosInsanityandChaos
    Posts: 1,924Member
    It sounds to me like the issues go a little deeper than that she is spoiled. I'm trying to follow what you've written. You said she spent the first 5 years of her life with her grandma as her guardian and now she is living with you for the first time? I think any kid would have a hard adjustment period with behavioral issues and acting out par for the course. Give her time to get to know you while being consistent on the rules would be my advice. But I think I would tread lightly. And keep the lines of contact between her and her grandma open for her.
  • shadylaneshadylane
    Posts: 3,125Member
    its going to be hard to undo 5 years of spoiling but just make it clear that there are rules at ur house and what you expect of her, and be consistent with enforcing them.
    ~slim shady~
  • tubbymommytubbymommy
    Posts: 2Member
    Im TUBBYMOMMY who write this Spoiled brat. Thanks for your comment's.My 5 y/o daughter is still living with her grandma until now. We just visit her in the province whenever we have time. Like twice a month and stayed there for 1 or 2 nights. I've talked to her about moving into our house together with her brother but she want to be with her grandma. She will come if her grandma will come too. Grandma doesn't want to move in to our house as we already had issues of misunderstanding long time ago but we are fine now. Grandma is 65 y/o and just recently had a mild stroke.
    All I want is to win my daughter back. I know its bad to wish grandma to die just to have my daughter back. But I can't think anyreason to have her.Why my husband can't just tell her mother to give us our daughter?
  • loveitloveit
    Posts: 1,738Member
    I'm confused....why did you give your daughter up?
  • tubbymommytubbymommy
    Posts: 2Member
    i did not give my daughter. I left because his dad is having an affair abroad. I cannot bring her with me as she don't have passport yet. All I want is to fix my family,to have a good life. 
    And when we came back home for her , granny doesn't allow us to bring our daughter abroad. She request to let our daughter stay with her. Granny leaves all alone on her 50sq.m house in the province. My husband,his son said we'll let our daughter stay for a while so that granny won't feel lonely.
    What else I can do? I know I am the mother and i have my decision. I felt sorry for myself now with every decision I made before. I was hoping I can get some advice on what i can do.
  • GingersnapGingersnap
    Posts: 9,696Member
    I'm still trying to understand:

    You left your daughter with your husband's mother (mother-in-law) because you needed to leave the country for five years because your father-in-law was having an affair and your daughter didn't have a passport. Now you are making a home where you want to be, but your daughter has become attached to her grandmother and is very spoiled. She is still living with your mother-in-law, because your husband doesn't want to upset his mother by taking away the child she has been caring for for the last five years. You are not living in the same country as your mother-in-law or daughter. (Or maybe the same country but a different province?)
    “The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.” ― Joseph Campbell
  • scotiamama
    Posts: 1,527Member

    I'm confused too. Does your mother in law have legal custody of your daughter? do you live in the same country?

    I think there are more issues going on here than her just being a spoiled brat