practical advice regarding poop-holders needed, please
  • orangesumatraorangesumatra
    Posts: 226Member
    i'm seeing my pediatrician later this month and have already looked for anal fissures.  i just want some practical mommy advice for my nearly 3yo ds who is fully pee-potty trained but is holding his poop. he knows he has to go. he tells us. he wants to. he sits. he cries "it's hurts" and then refuses to go. and then we're in a loop for the rest of the night or until he poops his pants, which distresses him even more than the pain.  we tried rewards of candy. we tried videos/books/singing/whatever to keep him sitting there. we tried big potty and small potty. i just want to stop this cycle because he's clearly constipated (at times) from holding it in and does not have constipation issues. and he wonkt go in a diaper either dif offered).  any advice that isn't just give him meds for constipation is appreciated.
  • orangesumatraorangesumatra
    Posts: 226Member
    and for you yo gabba gabba "fans" we have a new song "keep trying, keep trying, push the poop, push it out."
  • KrabbyKay
    Posts: 5,914Member
    Yikes. Has he always done this, or is something different/something happened in the bathroom he didn't like? DD used to be really bad about that, WELL into school years, because she H.A.T.E.S. public restrooms of any kind at all. So she would wait to get home, and that led nowhere good.
  • NoahSaysNo
    Posts: 8Member

    So, my munchkiun is in the same boat. He has a BM once a week or less. Have you tried pushing Prunes, Kiwi's and Blueberries?

    Good Luck!

  • BeachyBeachy
    Posts: 4,697Member
    My boo is a holder too! Ugh, so frustrating.
    I try to give her prune juice everyday but her dad told her it was to make her poop so she doesn't want it anymore!
    I literally sit on the baby potty in front of her and have to hug her while she poops.
    Unacceptable. She has to learn to poop herself!
    But for now every couple of days we sit in the bathroom together for about a half hour while she goes.
    I cheer! I sing! I offer bribes!
    Nope she doesn't want anything to do with fuchie!
    My practical advice is try prune juice everyday, it tastes like chocolate juice.
    Good luck!
    Searching for my lost shaker of salt.
  • RosamundiRosamundi
    Posts: 1,412Member
    My son was like this, too. As it turns out, he was afraid to sit on the toilet and didn't like the flush noises. Go figure.
  • chaosmomchaosmom
    Posts: 4,186Member
    DS7 is a champion poop holder. When it got to the point that it had been 10 days since a BM, I had to do something! I started giving him a daily dose of Miralax until things cleared out. Then I have just been maintaining. I give 1/2 to a full dose every day or every other day depending on how loose things are. I have been putting it in his water at lunch time & right before bed every night, he has to sit on the potty & try. Definitely keeps him from getting constipated & by giving it to him at the same time & making him try at the same time every day, it helped him get on a schedule.
  • BeachyBeachy
    Posts: 4,697Member
    @chaosmom great idea! I have heard great things about miralax, need to pick some up ASAP!
    Searching for my lost shaker of salt.
  • horsehotti
    Posts: 560Member
    Fiber gummies! Seriously. Better than maylanta. I'm having the same issue with my 4 yr old.
  • BeachyBeachy
    Posts: 4,697Member
    @horsehotti wtf is a fiber gummi?!
    Must invest now!
    Searching for my lost shaker of salt.
  • horsehotti
    Posts: 560Member
    Get them at Walmart ( pretty much any where, but all we have is Wally World) by the fiber stuff. It's just like a vitamin. My son takes them like they are candy.
  • WickedDunkieJunkieWickedDunkieJunkie
    Posts: 8,649Member
    Google this word.

    It's something I've had to deal with for almost 17 years between both my boys.
    We Are The Music Makers... And We Are The Dreamers Of Dreams...

  • shouldcleanshouldclean
    Posts: 2,808Member
    Privacy? Ds5 can't go unless the door is shut, I used to have to stand in the doorway with my back to him when he was learning
  • just_care
    Posts: 22Member
    miralax everyday until he stops holding. That is what my pediatrician told me to do with dd2. It didn't take long for her to stop holding. She had a few accidents along the way, but I preferred that to holding.
  • chaosmomchaosmom
    Posts: 4,186Member
    Fiber gummies are awesome. Unless you have 2 kids that sneak the bottle under their bed & eat about 40 of them a piece.
  • PrincessPeach
    Posts: 229Member
    My daughter was the same way. She would hold it for days. It is pretty common from what I've heard. It is a weird feeling for them. They are eating regular food that is making stool harder and they don't understand the "push" so they they hold it and then it really hurts. I was as upset about it as she was-couldn't help/make her go. She would have it bulging fm her pants sometimes.
    My pediatrician's advice was to have her sit on the toilet after each meal (if possible). Dont make it a big deal just sit for a few minutes. If you can, have another adult (your husband/SO) take turns with you (this is more for you than your son). Even if nothing comes. Make it a routine-sit on pot, wash hands, brush teeth, get ready for bed (or dressed). They have to get used to the feeling. Of course, still go to your pediatrician because there still could be another issue.

    I also used two things to help: the Little Remedies for Tummies drops (a homeopathic senna laxative). I only did it to loosen it a little, not to "make" her go and only had to use it a few times. Another thing I used is room temp chamomile tea (not full strength- 1/2 tea and 1/2 water). I still use the tea when she has a belly ache. Chamomile is supposed to be relaxing-hey it works so I'll keep using it.
  • tothemoonandbacktothemoonandback
    Posts: 3,934Member
    We dealt with this a while ago w/ DS3.  His pediatrician told us to give him Miralax (1 tsp) a day to soften things up and get things going again, he said he could take it daily with no takes a couple of days but now he goes just fine.  If we forget or stop it to see how he does, he locks back up until we start it again, so it's just what we do now.  It's tasteless even in water, we mix it in yogurt or water, juice etc and try to stay away from foods that might irritate him digestively (bananas are a big culprit).

    Wanted to add, we tried high fiber/low dairy diets, prune juice/apple juice/pear juice, fiber gummies etc, and for this guy, it just wasn't enough.  We try to keep his diet super high fiber and make sure he drinks a TON of water to help too.
    Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius, and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring. - Marilyn Monroe
  • shate98shate98
    Posts: 5,020Member
    Same boat. Mine is pee trained but holds his poop until he gets his night night diaper. And if he can't hold it he'll say, "mommy I need poop" and then let fly right in front of me. He WILL NOT poop in the potty. I've tried every bribe I can think of.
    "As you wander through your life, whatever be your goal,
    keep your eye upon the doughnut, not upon the hole."
  • RosamundiRosamundi
    Posts: 1,412Member
    Three year olds are tricky. Hang in there! They will figure it out eventually! :)
  • shadylaneshadylane
    Posts: 3,125Member
    Having same problem here, she poops like once a week if that. She holds it till its just coming out on its own but at least then she goes to the potty now, before she would go in her pants. She doesn't have accidents anymore but she just doesn't poop. Can't be good for u but I'm lucky to go once a week myself so maybe some people just don't poop that much? But she hates talking about it and gets mad if anyone so much as mentions poop even jokingly, so maybe its embarrassment? Idk why, bf and I are open about stuff like that and I try to talk about it so she'll see there's nothing wrong with it but for some reason she thinks its terrible.
    ~slim shady~
  • annieru
    Posts: 55Member

    DS 4 did the same thing when he was potty training. (he was 3 at the time.) He'd go 3 days without pooping and we were spending hours with him sitting on the toilet.  I ended up giving him Pedialax-worked like a charm!  He couldnt hold it any more.  After 2 or 3 weeks he went on his own no problem.

  • RDunhamRDunham
    Posts: 138Member
    I agree with adding fiber, if they can't hold it they won't!
  • orangesumatraorangesumatra
    Posts: 226Member
    thanks everybody. we just waited and now heks going once every 2 days  or so on the potty. this is of course with lots of fake-outs and down from 2 poops a day. either way,at this rate by the end of january, we should have a fully potty trained kiddo...just in time for #2's arrival.  (and yes, I'm aware and prepared for a backslide.)
  • MsAsdy
    Posts: 246Member
    Good luck hun! We had that problem with our DD when she was three. Fully potty trained. She wouldn't necessarily hold it but she would wait until she had her night time pull up on and then let it go. I did everything I could think of - chart, stickers, candy, bribes, ignoring the issue, making her clean it up herself. FInally...and oddly took my husband yelling at her and watching the two get in a screaming match over her using the potty. I had to walk away from the situation because they were both being so childish (acceptable of DD...not so much of DH who was yelling "Fine, no more candy again EVER!). But what he did...worked. Strangest thing. I was in the bathroom, came out and she waltzed in with an indignant look on her face, nothing but a tshirt on and informed me very matter-of-factly, "Mommy, I'm going to poop on the potty now." Every day since. The one time he imparts parental assistance and I'll be damned, it actually worked.
    I wouldn't suggest this with your little guy. He sounds pretty distressed by the whole situation, something DD was not.
  • RinRin
    Posts: 2,174Member
    If he says it hurts to go, it probably does. My DS5 has had problems since 6 months. We have had problems potty training, he was kicked out of a preschool now, we give him miralax 2 to 3 times a week to help keep him regular and make it easier to go!
    Works like a charm!
    "There are many things in life that will catch your eye, but only a few will catch your heart.. .pursue those"
  • jaydensmom09
    Posts: 48Member
    I'm very lucky. My 3 yr old son is awesome. I potty trained him in a few weeks. I couldn't imagine for you! Hugs!! :(
  • gramalibbygramalibby
    Posts: 3,744Member
    There was an old remedy , called Malt Supec , no Mirilax when mine were young , it's natural I think add to juice . Hugs
  • orangesumatraorangesumatra
    Posts: 226Member
    And of course, like most kid things, it ended up being a phase. No meds or supplements, just freaking time and him realizing we were telling him the truth...poop hurts more if you don't go when you first have to.
  • orangesumatraorangesumatra
    Posts: 226Member
    Thanks for the advice.
  • krissyandthree
    Posts: 257Member
    Fiber Gummies! Same when my daughter was 3. She would hold it so when she did go, it would hurt. She was led to believe #2 = pain. I had to do enimas and the likes but the gummy a day is a lot less traumatic :) hope it helps.
  • momofdbbmomofdbb
    Posts: 10,900Member
    I am going back to read this thread again , DS 5 told my mom it hurt to go today. Then proceded to show her the golf ball sized poop he had just made. We were like duh that hurt ! I gave him apple juice , fruit punch and have tried to get him to eat som yogurt today. I think he will be fine , he has had a few well hard poops. But I think he will be fine with a bit more fiber and less milk. He drinks a lot ! My mom is freaking !!!" We need to get him something now !! " He had a # 2 today , yesterday twice and the day befor that , and before that ! He is not truly constipated !!! He is using it at least once a day. He might get some help from something to soften it up a bit though.
    " Wibbly wobbly timey wimey ......." The Doctor
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  • momofeveryonemomofeveryone
    Posts: 1,917Member
    i was gonna say rectal thermometer lol!
    i want a nap. and some chocolate. who's with me?!
  • KatDragonKatDragon
    Posts: 370Member
    Mirilax is the shit! Really! Lol.
    "Fantastic!" 9th Doctor