he is driving me insane but i cant find courage to leave
  • kittenkitty00
    Posts: 522Member
    So dont hang me i just need to vent. I have been dating this loser for a long time. At times he works at times he didnt i supported his son all summer with numerous issues and its just getting worse. I cant stand him he is more overweight then when we met his exes are chunky and every time i try to work out he becomes a ass wont watch kids or whines and becomes a jerk when we go places like the park or hiking. I cook clean care for 2 kids even with sickness and pain im terrified of surgery next week and he is like its no big deal. Tonight i realized i lost wallet and im searching car driving to store had it last at looking in trash cuz have habit of putting in bags with groceries come back and he is playing angry birds on couch while im searching for it. He snores so loud so ask him to sleep in bedroom instead of couch and he gets pissed and rude. And yet im afraid to be alone and tell him to just move out already. His entire family lives in colorado and us in utah and even then he wouldnt have anywhere to go. So my guilt keeps him here. I just wish i could leave and move on. Why am i so stupid. We dated once and he got drunk and hit me once i couldn't leave. I found him telling girls on craigslist he wants to sleep with them. He has no car no license works at minimum wage barely covers his half of bills after cigarettes which im constantly making sure he has so he dont get rude. Only thing i can say is he is good with kids mostly.
  • BeachyBeachy
    Posts: 4,697Member
    Ok, some other moms will have more sage advice, but my question to you is:
    What is your happiness worth?
    Is your happiness worth more than someone else's?
    Are YOU worth more than someone else?
    I think so. Actually I know so.
    You are worth more than ANYONE else.
    He doesn't care about you, or respect you. You take care of him and his kids, but who is taking care of you? You, right? When you have time or money.
    No. Just no.
    He not having family is not YOUR responsibility, hell his life isn't your responsibility.
    You are your responsibility. You and your kids.
    Kick his ass out. It will be hard, but many Mommy's have done it and you will be liberated!
    Searching for my lost shaker of salt.
  • JustJulia
    Posts: 86Member
    First up.
    You will never be alone while SM is here just a click away.
    Who's children are they, yours, his, both ?

    He sounds like a bit of a loser to me.

    He might not want you to work out and better yourself.
    It would benefit him if you felt insecure or unattractive. You might think who else would have you so you stay with him.

    If you want him gone can you get some moral support around there, family
    or friends and give him his marching orders whilst they are there.

    He actually did that ?
    "We dated once and he got drunk and hit me once i couldn't leave."
    "I found him telling girls on craigslist he wants to sleep with them."

    Hitting you and sleeping with other women. Does that sound like the man you want to be with ?.

    Do you have a way of buying, saving up for a bus ticket back to his family.

    He is not your responsibility, you didn't give birth to him, he needs to grow up or get out.
    Probably good with kids because he still acts like one.

    You are a lot stronger then you think, it took courage to post that so you know you are strong.
    You can stand on your own two feet. You don't need him, he is a choice. Take him or leave him.

  • liz
    Posts: 13Mmember
    You have to move on, dig deep, be brave, dump him. Stop feeling guilty. Let him deal with his pathetic self alone. You sound like an amazing person. Good luck.
  • kittenkitty00
    Posts: 522Member
    I wish i could say i wasnt that insecure that i stayed but i did. We arent together as a couple but i cant find nerve to kick him out. He sleeps on couch and is a asshole to any guy i attempt to date or just a jerk to me if i wanna go out. I wish i had courage to just make him go. I just fear being totally alone here. And since got sick ive needed someone to help with kids.
  • gramalibbygramalibby
    Posts: 3,744Member
    Get on your big girl panties And kick him the hell out.....u deserve better , much better.....the more he stays the less n less self worth you will have .u r not his mother .