#267876 Wife Died
  • GritsGrits
    Posts: 4,370Member
    #267876: I hope i am not intruding i feel like a mother more than i do a man, my
    wife died 4 months ago at she was 40. a 1year old girl, a 3 year old
    boy. i find my self not wanting to bond on a deep level in case i end of
    going too

    OC, I hope you're on the boards and I hope you see this.

    I can not imagine your pain. I know my husband would be beside himself. I have three kids, my two youngest are the same age as yours. They need their Daddy, especially now, so soon after they lost their mommy.

    I'm sure you're overwhelmed, and it seems like there's no way you can fill her shoes and still wear yours. But please know that what you do now will greatly affect those babies in the future. If they don't get to bond with you, then who? They need a loving father right now, and you need them! No one will ever replace their parents. And of course they would be devastated if they lost you, too. But isn't it better that they did love you and know you than not? And no use living in the World of What If? Your babies need you in the here and now.

    If you need some support or advice, there are so many mommies and daddies that would be more than willing to offer you support whether via private message or a public thread on the boards. Please reach out to someone.

    If you would rather not put it all on the internet, then try a Spouse's Grief Support Group at a local church or you can try the Crisis Support for Grief at 800-260-0094 or visit online at www.crisissupport.org/grief_counseling. It would probably be well worth it to look into some family and individual counseling, at least for you and the older child.

    You are not intruding here. Reach out and let someone help you. You are not weak in any way for accepting support for dealing with something so terrible. >:D<
    "I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day, and I believe in miracles." ~Audrey Hepburn
  • momofdbbmomofdbb
    Posts: 10,900Member
    Please come here or go somewhere. It's not going to be easy , but with help you can do it.
    " Wibbly wobbly timey wimey ......." The Doctor
    " I'm a leafe on the wind..watch how I soar ." Wash :((
    " Oh the wall had it comming.' Sherlock Holmes
    yea I am geek !!
  • MarySunshineMarySunshine
    Posts: 7,953Member
    The site name might be Scary Mommy, but we welcome all parents, grandparents, guardians...anyone who loves the children in their lives.

    I am so sorry for the loss of your wife. I'm terrified of losing my husband on so many levels. Your babies need and love you. They are little yet, and both are at that tough stage where they need you all the time. Bond with them. While it hurts now, you will see your wife in them and in time, seeing that will make your heart happy. Take each day at a time. Take each hour at a time. If friends and family offer help and support take them up on it. You can never be too loved or supported, nor can your kiddos.

    Reach out to any of us if you want. And please consider using the resources @Grits mentioned. >:D<
    "I don't poop. I create magic."- ABC

    I'm as sexy as a burp mid-kiss. Watch out!

    For every loser there's one that has to win. So bite your tongue, grit your teeth and grin...
  • episcopal
    Posts: 1,851Member
    OC, I'm one of the dads on here.  I couldn't imagine what life would be like without my wife.  I'm glad you found this place.  I hope we can help in the days, weeks, and months ahead.  One day at a time.
  • gramalibbygramalibby
    Posts: 3,744Member
    So very sorry and what a GREAT dad u r. Reaching out to us is a good thing and we are happy to be avilible for any and all questions ....ask away
  • undercoverbanana
    Posts: 12,609Member
    i'm sorry for your loss, OC. we have scary daddies on here, too. if we can help you in any way, please let us know.....and you would be welcome here, if you decided to join.
    i'm nekkid.
  • momtomany74
    Posts: 294Member
    First of all, my condolences-(((hugs)))

    That's exactly how old my two little ones are.. please reach out. You don't have to do this alone.
  • BellaBefanaBellaBefana
    Posts: 10,374Member
    I'm so sorry for your loss.  Everyone is right, please don't be afraid to bond with your children.  They really, really need you, even if you are afraid.  Share your fears.

    I'm an older mommy, and leaving my child alone before she's ready is my greatest fear.  I can tell you that a child is never too old to mourn the loss of a parent, but the foundation and love you give them will be with them all their lives, even if you live until they're in their 40's.  It's not any easier then, btw.
    Bite me, cupcake!
  • GingersnapGingersnap
    Posts: 9,696Member
    Sometimes life is truly shitty. Really, really horrifically shitty. But we don't have to do this alone.  >:D<
    “The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.” ― Joseph Campbell