Is this normal? Milestones...
  • AlbertaMomAlbertaMom
    Posts: 992Member
    My niece is 9 months old. I'm starting to worry and I'm not sure if my concerns are valid and if they are I'm not really sure how to bring it up with my SIL.
    She doesn't laugh, rarely babbles.
    She can sit but only if she is propped up with a pillow behind her. 
    I have seen her roll onto her side but never all the way over. 
    When on her tummy she doesn't push herself up or make an effort to crawl at all.

    I know two other babies pretty well that were both born after her and they both seem much further ahead. I know that if there is a problem early intervention really is the key and I also know that sometimes parents don't want to admit there is a problem. 

    I remember when DD was her age she was nearly walking, babbled, laughed....maybe she was ahead and I shouldn't worry...I'm just not sure.
  • ProudPalsyMamma
    Posts: 1,273Member
    My son was like that and he has Cerebral palsy I would talk to the parents.....
  • AlbertaMomAlbertaMom
    Posts: 992Member
    @ProudPalsyMamma did you know right from birth that he had cerebral palsy or is that something that is later diagnosed? 
  • shouldcleanshouldclean
    Posts: 2,808Member

    She should at least be sitting on her own.  In my experience 9 months is about the time they start crawling, standing, and basically just making you fearful for their life.  I don't know how you address it but you probably should say something.
  • AlbertaMomAlbertaMom
    Posts: 992Member
    And I know all kids hit physical milestones at different rates, but it seems like usually it is only a couple things that they are behind on, she seems behind across the board. I don't want to offend her at all but at the same time its hard to watch them say oh she is just a lazy baby when it seems like it is a little more than simply being lazy.
  • ProudPalsyMamma
    Posts: 1,273Member
    It's something that is diagnosed later my son was diagnosed at 10 months

    My son was called 'lazy' it PISSED me off beyond anything because I KNEW he wasn't lazy it was his body not him and babies CANNOT mentally make themselves lazy they have instincts to do the normal things like sit up or crawl that child has something wrong with her and it needs addressed right NOW while she has a chance at fixing things
  • AlbertaMomAlbertaMom
    Posts: 992Member
    @ProudPalsyMamma thanks. 

    Its so hard to bring something like this up, but it looks like I probably should
  • CanadianMamaCanadianMama
    Posts: 10,374Administrator, Moderator
    As a parent, I would rather hear a concern and have it be false than not be told something is wrong and have there actually be something wrong. Some parents are unbelievably sensitive, and she may not even listen to you at all, but I would definitely say something.


  • beachmommybeachmommy
    Posts: 3,760Member

    DS was sitting up alone enough to play with a toy at 6 months.

    He is 11mo now and although he babbles quite a bit, no real words.  He has been laughing since about 2 or 3 months though.

    He just started to take steps last week. At 9mo he began to crawl/ scoot.

    I do not recall when he started to roll over, but I do remember it being later than what the traditional milestones are. 


    I hope this helps....every child is so different but I agree that it seems she is behind across the board from what you have listed.

    Good luck!

    My beach is still Sandy....
  • shouldcleanshouldclean
    Posts: 2,808Member
    I forgot to say, my ds is 8 months, he rolls, sites on his own, crawls, claps, babbles (mama, dada), blows raspberries (probably because he has 2 older sibling), pulls to standing and cruises around the crib. Dd started walking at 9 months (that was scary). Ds5 walked at a year. Every baby is different but she should be hitting some of the milestones.

    If its their first baby maybe they don't know about early intervention. My baby was evaluated because of his heart condition, you don't have to use the services if you don't want to and an exaltation is free
  • BunnyBunny
    Posts: 1,034Member
    Like others, every baby is different but I would think by now she would be sitting up on his own at least but maybe she's just taking her time.. My friends son was a very late bloomer on everything, they said it was because he was a preemie though. He didn't walk until almost 18 months and I don't think he crawled until almost a year maybe. And he's actually very smart for his age now (3). Sometimes I think the little stinker is smarter than my 7 yr old . 
    Crazy? I was crazy once...they locked me in a room with no windows. That drove me nuts. Nuts! Squirrels eat nuts. They drive me crazy. Crazy! I was crazy once..
  • AlbertaMomAlbertaMom
    Posts: 992Member
    @CanadianMama I agree that I would rather hear a concern and get a ped to look at it and say everything is fine than not realize until much later.
    My other SIL is a speech language pathologist and I just asked her what she thinks and she told me that if the next time she saw her she wasn't babbling she was going to say something too she just didn't know how to broach the topic as they aren't very close. 

  • Lakegirl34
    Posts: 2,814Member
    I would just say, "I don't want to step out of line, but I noticed x, y, and z. Have you talked to your pediatrician?" my son is big for his age and several people have asked questions appropriately, and I have talked to my ped and it's not a big deal. I didn't mind them asking bc I know it's because they care about us.
  • momma2A
    Posts: 1,148Member
    I agree with everyone else baby needs to be checked. Are the parents in denial? I know at our dr appointments the Ped asks what milestones DD has hit do if they're being truthful it should have brought up concerns with the Ped already.
  • MorganD
    Posts: 3,436Member
    My niece was like that. She didn't sit up or anything for a long time. She's now a perfectly healthy 5 year old. :)
  • stinkersmommystinkersmommy
    Posts: 1,887Member
    Mine was self feeding and cruising and a chatterbox by 9 mos, but he was also highly interacted with, it may not be the baby but lack of interaction causing the issue if you don't talk or play with a baby they do end up delayed esp if they are left in the crib or swing or carseat
  • sharkmommy
    Posts: 413Member
    My DD7 was like that as well.  She currently has a tentative diagnosis of mild hypotonic cerebral palsy, but they still aren't sure if there's something else going on too.  In fact we were at a neuromuscular specialist today!  Early Intervention did wonders for her.  It will be a hard conversation, but it sounds like she may need to get checked out.  DD7 does quite well now.  She has PT and some small leg braces, but otherwise you couldn't tell anything was wrong with her at first sight.  I wish you the best!
  • Tranquil
    Posts: 616Member
    My friend dd was like that. She kept calling her lazy. She's a perfectly healthy 3 yr old now. But it definetly doesn't hurt to have a talk to the parents.
  • Katescrazymom
    Posts: 2,839Member
    She might be fine, just developing a bit slower, but I agree, it should be checked out!
  • GingersnapGingersnap
    Posts: 9,696Member
    I think you should say something out of concern, but I have a request - if it does turn out to be something, please don't say to the mom/dad, "I knew something was wrong." After I had my eldest checked out and he was diagnosed with Autism, she said to me, "Oh, I'm so sorry. I knew this was coming. He has all the signs of Autism." I did not find it comforting.
    “The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.” ― Joseph Campbell
  • junglezoo
    Posts: 249Member
    Do you know if they've taken their baby for her 9mth checkup yet? My dd just had hers and my Dr asked about all the milestones. Maybe they'll have more insight then?
    All babies have different timeliness. My dd is babbling, smiling, will sit on her own if you put her in the position, she rolls and pushes up but doesn't crawl or walk and she's just starting to get a tooth. DS didnt get tooth until 11 months same with crawling and didn't walk until 15 months.
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  • BellaBefanaBellaBefana
    Posts: 10,374Member
    What does the baby's pediatrician say? She's definitely behind and if they're behind on more than one or two, the doctor should have said something, unless she was preemie, the subtract the number of weeks early from her age. That's where she should be as far as gross motor and verbal stuff.
    CP is usually detected pretty early unless it's really mild.
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  • LiquidPeppermintLiquidPeppermint
    Posts: 841Member
    @albertamom: If you do decide to bring this up, first do all the research you can online.  Perhaps even forward it to the mother via email before you personally talk to her.  The first reaction of a parent to something like this is going to be defensive.  If she has some time to absorb it after getting it in email, it is likely to cause less of a rift between you.
  • AlbertaMomAlbertaMom
    Posts: 992Member
    @junglezoo & @bellabefana
    As far as I know she doesn't take her for well baby visits.  She has gone to the health clinic for her shots, and I know that they have gone to the walk in clinic for an ear infection once and a couple of times for a cough/cold.
    They live with us and she watches my DD during the day and lets me know what they are doing (if they are going anywhere) and she hasn't mentioned going to the ped, at all.

    I'm so scared to say anything and cause trouble in the house. I'm going to see if maybe my bf will mention something to his brother, they have a stronger relationship and I'm worried that it will seem nitpicky if I bring it up right to her.

    Ugh, I just don't know. I brought her upstairs with me last night and played with her for a couple hours and she does interact, its just that she seems more on the level my dd was at about six months.

    I know that she spends a large part of her day in a saucer/jolly jumper still and I'm thinking that may be the reason that she doesn't have the physical skills that most 9 month olds have.
  • meandmy243meandmy243
    Posts: 9,474Member
    My son had poor muscle tone everywhere it affected everything includung eating and talking. he was 10 almodt 11 minths before he sat up alone but as soon as he did it was over night that he started doing things. crawled at 13 months walking (assisted with braces) at 15 months 20 months on his own. he didnt babble til 18 months but because of his size the sp therapist refused to start speech until his ifsp meeting and realized he was now 24 months and nonverbal (he was the size of a 9 month old) he started ei at 2 minths old and if it wasnt for them my son would be no where near where he is now. i think every child should be evaluated by 6 months of age and agian at 18 months. i am a true believer. my friends daughter was born almost completely blind and was left with 5% of vision in her left eye. they told her that nothing would help her she may see color but no real vision the little girl is 8 and through she primarly uses braile she can read and write with that small amount of vision. the doctors cant believe what they saw when she was showing them she could do it.
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  • LilukiLiluki
    Posts: 183Member
    Hi. I know I'm brand new on the boards but I just wanted to say my two kids were super slow with their milestones. I took them to see the Dr but he just reassured that kids develop in their own time and only worry if they are over a year late.

    My Dd4 didn't sit up unaided until about 10months and didn't talk or walk until 22months. My Ds2 didn't walk until 18 months and he is still in that babbling stage with a few real words thrown in. They are both happy healthy kids who just do things when they are ready.

    I don't think there is anything wrong with being concerned for your niece and having a discussion about it with her parents. Your concern is out of love and they should appreciate that!
    “If your kid needs a role model and you ain't it, you're both fucked.”
    ― George Carlin, Brain Droppings
  • 456Imamom
    Posts: 550Member
    If you are feeling uncomfortable approaching her mom, maybe sitting down with your BF and explain to him what you've seen and your concerns. Ask him what he thinks, and if he feels comfortable bringing it up with his brother. Maybe he could approach it as "Hey, so I noticed X, Y, Z... is everything ok?" 
  • junglezoo
    Posts: 249Member

    @junglezoo & @bellabefana

    Ugh, I just don't know. I brought her upstairs with me last night and played with her for a couple hours and she does interact, its just that she seems more on the level my dd was at about six months.

    I know that she spends a large part of her day in a saucer/jolly jumper still and I'm thinking that may be the reason that she doesn't have the physical skills that most 9 month olds have.

    does she talk to her a lot? Does she have her infront of the tv a lot? Because that could be part of the reason why she's not babbling or at her age level. and it would make sense that she's not rolling pushing up and crawling if she's always in the jolly jumper. How old is your daughter? Have you played with both of them on the floor infront of sil? Just wondering if she saw you playing with both of them together then maybe she will do the same during the day.
    Wow what a tough position to be in * hugs *. Hopefully your bf will feel comfortable enough to talk to his brother.
    I'm going to the zoo zoo zoo. You can come too too too....