Bedtime battles- almost 3 year old.
  • asl133
    Posts: 5Member
    Please tell me there is someone on the face of the planet that has successfully transitioned from laying beside your kid's bed for over an hour to them saying good night and staying quietly in their bed when you leave without screaming for over 45 minutes each night about how you're their best friend and they miss you so much, Mommy help! etc. etc. etc. 

    I don't know how many more nights of this I can take it's been over a week. 
    I'm about to lose it or give in and lay beside the kid's freakin' bed for the rest of his life.

    The rest of the routine is the exact same as it's been- same time, etc. and he'll be 3 in March.
    If he doesn't take a nap, he's passing out by 4:00- so I only let him sleep for an hour. 
    I think he's overtired but I can't do anything about it if he won't lay quietly and go to sleep.

    Just give me some hope and tell me this won't last forever. 
  • RosamundiRosamundi
    Posts: 1,412Member
    It won't last forever!

    Try gradually lessening the amount of time you spend lying down next to him. It's drawing out the process, maybe unnecessarily. If he's anything like my sons were, he knows how to play on your mommy emotions to drag out bed time for as looooooong as possible. (They are 8 and 4 and go to bed just fine).

    This too shall pass!! Hugs. And wine.
  • shouldcleanshouldclean
    Posts: 2,808Member
    I. have no good advice. Some time around 4 my son just stated going to bed on his own. My dd3 was up until midnight last night :(
  • asl133
    Posts: 5Member
    Thank you for the encouragement. I'm debating if I should start laying down beside his bed again and then ease out or just stick it out. Thankfully the baby has been sleeping through the chaos. I don't want to go back to square one but I'm wondering if I should pick my battles.
  • BellaBefanaBellaBefana
    Posts: 10,374Member
    Mine always went to bed like a champ. Then she turned 3. I didn't move her out of her crib until she was almost 3 1/2, and THAT'S when the trouble started! It's been a freaking nightmare since about a week after I did!

    I just got a bedtime rewards chart in the mail today, so far so good with it, but them it's only been one night!
    Bite me, cupcake!
  • anonymommy
    Posts: 1,652Member
    It's 10:30 here and I just put my 3 year old back in bed. Again. No help here, just sympathy.
  • momofdbbmomofdbb
    Posts: 10,900Member
    It's 10:50 and still awake that would be my DS 5. Now he has been stuck in the house for the last two days because big brother has been sick. My Little Ponies here we come ! Lol. I can snooze a bit while he watches. He loves the ponies !
    " Wibbly wobbly timey wimey ......." The Doctor
    " I'm a leafe on the how I soar ." Wash :((
    " Oh the wall had it comming.' Sherlock Holmes
    yea I am geek !!
  • undercoverbanana
    Posts: 12,609Member
    it doesn't last forever. but, it can be a tough transition. maybe time for a new bedtime ritual. i haven't done it in a while, so you might want to ask other mommies what they do....and i mainly worked at night, so i hardly ever got to do bedtimes. but is there a night light? a lovey? story time?
    i'm nekkid.
  • GritsGrits
    Posts: 4,370Member
    I was going to ask about story time. We use it to transition from the crazy day to bedtime. We read a story, talk a little bit about whatever is on their minds, then sing a lullaby and lights out. My oldest wasn't easy though. Two to three was a horrible year for bedtime. But she got over it. And I strongly suspect that she is the reason DD4 is so good about bedtime. I've never struggled with that one. DS might be a different story, but I'll have to wait and see.
    "I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day, and I believe in miracles." ~Audrey Hepburn
  • organicbabyorganicbaby
    Posts: 2,020Member
    I never let her cry but when I could not stand laying by her bed anymore I decided to try another aproach which worked and works for both. of us. I put her to be at everytime everyday, I tell her good night, kiss her and I tell her I will be in the office (which is close to her room and I can hear her) She calls me, I go, hug her, rearrange the blanket or kiss her. I go every single time she calls. Sometimes is once, sometimes twenty but she goes to sleep relaxed and happy and I do not get frustrated since I do prefer going couple of times over one hour laying by her side.
    I also leave the office light on so she is not in full darkness all alone because it scares her.
    Just a different approach. Maybe just tweaking your method a little would improve the experience :)
  • Tranquil
    Posts: 616Member
    DS3 is an OK sleeper, but I do have to stay beside him most of the time until he falls asleep. We finish off the day by reading books for like 20 minutes in his bed, then we chat a bit, I tuck him in, turn the lights off and sit myself down on the floor.  I always make sure to have water and a small container of cheerios close by for him in case he asks.  Honestly he was making every excuse in the book to go downstairs for something, this was just a whole lot easier lol.  I have never let him cry it out, it just wasn't for me.  I think it just takes time and patience, and eventually they will sleep by themselves.  My husband said to me the other day that at this rate, I'm going to have to stay our son's room with him until he falls asleep until he's 15!  Ya OK dude.  Remember, it's "just a phase"  and "this too shall pass".  Oh, and my son usually is sleeping by 8:30, 8:45.  Good luck
  • shate98shate98
    Posts: 5,020Member
    DS2.5 just reverted from going to bed with just a kiss to wanting me to hold him and rock him to sleep.

    Last night I made him go to sleep without the rocking, though. I "filled up" his favorite lovie with lots of hugs and told him that his lovie would watch over him while he slept and that if he needed me I was just down the hall.

    he bought it.
    "As you wander through your life, whatever be your goal,
    keep your eye upon the doughnut, not upon the hole."
  • asl133
    Posts: 5Member
    I tried the "I'll be back to check on you in 5 minutes." And then 10, etc until he was asleep and he was ok with that for about 2 days.

    Also tried writing the bedtime routine with pictures. Also lasted 2 days or so. He has 2 shows, 2 stories, teeth, potty, prayers, night light and I leave his door open with the hall light on. Sometimes I go in the next room, sometimes I go downstairs. But the routine has been the same since he was born. Except we transitioned from rocking to staying beside the bed to now leaving. For awhile I was leaving after 15 min but then he started dragging it out so I decided to stop. I'm not a big cry it out advocate- it was always quicker to stay but over an hour is ridiculous.
  • junglezoo
    Posts: 249Member
    Has anything else changed in his routine or life recently? How old is the baby? Could it be that he just wants more attention from Mommy? Just wondering bc I noticed a difference in my son after my daughter was born. My son has a little lamp with batteries that he brings to bed and he turns it on if he gets scared. When he asks me to say I tell him I'll sing him one song and then I have "mommy time" and he needs to go to bed.
    It'll pass and it wont last forever. Sounds like he just wants you attention.
    I'm going to the zoo zoo zoo. You can come too too too....
  • Leylynne
    Posts: 1Member

    I had the same challenge with my son who loves his routines which included me sitting with him until he fell asleep.  When I got tired of falling asleep too at 8pm I decided to ask him what he needed to be able to fall asleep on his own.  He said listening to the radio would help so now he listens to music (not the radio as I hate commercials but soothing songs), I go in an hour later and turn it off once he is asleep. 

    Hope this was helpful. 

    ps - Any other changes in his "routine" and he tends to revert back to wanting me to stay with him but it doesn't last too long.

  • asl133
    Posts: 5Member
    Thanks everyone. His dad started working nights at the beginning of December. So that's not helping. He's also been skipping naps- so if he's really tired the last couple days I've been sitting in the rocking chair for 5 minutes instead of laying by the bed and he's usually asleep so I can leave. Picking my battles. Your suggestions were great and I will use some of them when I try to ease out of sitting in the rocking chair. I like the going to the office idea.
  • anonymommy
    Posts: 1,652Member
    We visited ILs last week and they have a DS4 who has always been a great sleeper. We stayed with them for 4 nights, DS3 slept in his cousin's room. The first 2 nights he was up and down and ultimately ended up sleeping with me (poor DH got booted to the couch). Night 3 he stayed in his cousin's room, but was awake for quite a while. Night 4 passed out pretty quickly. We got home Monday night and he has gone to bed-in his own bed, by himself-with no problems every night since we got back. I hope I didn't just jinx it. Any good sleepers he can spend some time with?