Can your kid tie their own shoes?
  • 2callmemommy2callmemommy
    Posts: 242Member
    My oldest is almost 9 (like 3 weeks away) and she flat out refuses to learn to tie her shoes.If my husband or I sit down with her and try to show her she cries like some one is chewing her limbs off. She wears sneakers that velcro and she has dress shoes and boots. She tells me there is no reason to learn to tie her shoes. There is this pair of shoes she's been dying for they're like converse and they're tall and lace all the way up. (if I was using the computer I'd post a pic) well I told her that I'll buy them for her as soon as she learns to tie because the shoes have laces. Well she googled them and found an off brand that look the same but have a zipper up the side. Now she wants those. Obviously I'm never letting her use google again lol. So how do I get her interested in learning to tie her shoes? She doesn't care that she's the only one out of her friends that can't and bribing doesn't work because she'll google her way out of it. Are there other older kids out there just not interested? I
  • GingersnapGingersnap
    Posts: 9,696Member
    Short answer: DS9 No. DS5 No. They are both developmentally delayed.
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  • irishlassirishlass
    Posts: 7,057Member
    Hmm that's a tough one! Maybe take her on an adventure day, to a rock climbing wall or on a boat. Its not just shoes she needs to learn about. Teach her the importance of being able to tie knots securely.
    My son is 3 and can't yet.
    "Be who you are and say what you feel. Because those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter." - Dr. Seuss
  • katz_meowkatz_meow
    Posts: 6,380Member
    I like @irishlass's suggestion. But I wouldn't get her the zipper shoes either. Why reward her refusal to even try?

    Mine both can, but my son was a bit of a late Bloomer with the shoe tying. He's in 6th grade and only learned thus past summer. When my sister, his favorite aunt, bought him the Reebok's (I think they were Reebok's) with the bright yellow soles. He loved them, and wanted to use them for school, but said he wouldn't until he could tie them so he wouldn't be embarrassed. So I taught him the two loop method that I use. It worked, he wears those shoes to school proudly.
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  • KellynnKellynn
    Posts: 2,284Member
    My ds8, just learned this past summer, before he started 3rd grade. And, they still aren't very good. He loves the velcro shoes, so I still buy those. You don't have to worry about them coming untied and tripping over them, lol
  • shouldcleanshouldclean
    Posts: 2,808Member
    Ds5 nope, won't even try. He may never learn :(
  • Dragonbabyx3Dragonbabyx3
    Posts: 1,467Member
    DD7 can tie her shoes, DS5 and DS6 wont try.  
  • cheesehead4ever
    Posts: 1,139Member
    Both girls learned in the month before kindergarten. So one was almost six and the other was turning six.
  • fatchickonabikefatchickonabike
    Posts: 6,590Member
    DD7 learned just before she started first grade, because she wanted a pair of twinkle toes or whatever they're called - the sneakers that light up - and we told her we wouldn't buy her a pair until she learned. So she did. It still takes her a fricking hour to tie her shoes, though. Next year I'm going with velcro just to avoid an ulcer.
    Part of growing up is learning to forgive your parents for being human.
  • AAA08
    Posts: 427Member

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  • momofdbbmomofdbb
    Posts: 10,900Member
    DS 5 can't DS 13 can but he does it oddly . I don't know how he does it. Not the way I was taught , that's for sure. A guy at church taught him. He is super slow. We bought some things to go in his shoes they are actually called , Hickies . Lol. So now he doesn't have to tie them. It is just a whole lot easier ! He has issues with small moter skills. Add to that his shoes came untied all the time and his lack of depth perception and it's just safer too.
    " Wibbly wobbly timey wimey ......." The Doctor
    " I'm a leafe on the wind..watch how I soar ." Wash :((
    " Oh the wall had it comming.' Sherlock Holmes
    yea I am geek !!
  • fatchickonabikefatchickonabike
    Posts: 6,590Member
    I agree with @AAA08, it's a life skill and kind of a necessity.
    Part of growing up is learning to forgive your parents for being human.
  • LittleTalksLittleTalks
    Posts: 1,376Member
    I remember learning to tie my shoes at 5 because my friend who was a year older taught me. Then I was able to tie the ribbons on my dolls dresses and was so proud of myself! It's funny how those memories come back to you. Has she any older cousins or anything who could teach her?
  • stinkersmommystinkersmommy
    Posts: 1,887Member
    Ds 4 not quite but not from lack of trying he just gets soooo frustrated about it. But he has the want to learn it and I am determined he will know before kindergarten this fall.
  • AAA08
    Posts: 427Member

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  • TheMomFactorTheMomFactor
    Posts: 5,092Member
    I'm working on teaching DS5 right now. SO wants to just buy the velcro shoes, but he *needs* to learn. He's not going to wear velcro shoes in high school or at work is he? I learned in 2nd grade...I'm hoping to teach my boys before then. Honestly, though, I have no advice.
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  • LittleTalksLittleTalks
    Posts: 1,376Member
    @aaa08 my mil works in a crèche and she says very similar things to me about the kids there. I'm not saying that's what the OP is doing, I'm just responding to your post. She has kids of 4 and 5 who can't open their own yogurt or peel a banana. She's frequently astonished by what my 2 year old can do because she's always been so independent and I let her do everything for herself as much as I can. It's sad that some kids are allowed become so lazy. (Again NOT directed at the OP as I don't know your circumstances).
  • AAA08
    Posts: 427Member
    Oh, I wasn't inferring the op was either, and I hope I didn't come off like that. More thinking about kids as a whole and how society is in general. Trust me, I am not perfect, and I really hope I didn't offend anyone.
  • momofdbbmomofdbb
    Posts: 10,900Member
    Not really offended , not really. DS 13 has small moter skill issua and has to have many things done for him. In a pinch he can manage but I do a lot if stuff for him. He can tie his shoe , but I did it a lot because it was faster. He can open a bottle of drink but I usally do it. No strenth in his hands. He prefers the pants that have either one of the slider fasteners or jus elastic waist because he has issues with buttons on pants. We have gotten pretty good about working around his weakness. Yes I am teaching him how to do these things because I Wong be there all the time to do them but I will still help him some. Especialy when we are in a hurry.
    " Wibbly wobbly timey wimey ......." The Doctor
    " I'm a leafe on the wind..watch how I soar ." Wash :((
    " Oh the wall had it comming.' Sherlock Holmes
    yea I am geek !!
  • KrabbyKay
    Posts: 5,914Member
    DS8 can, but it takes FFE and he's not terribly great at it. If it's important (soccer or something) or OMGTHEBUSISCOMINGDOWNTHESTREETGETYOURASSOUTSIDE, then I do it for him.
  • AAA08
    Posts: 427Member
    Again, I was not refering to any child with any kind of delay or motor skill issues. :)
  • momofdbbmomofdbb
    Posts: 10,900Member
    That's what I thought. I have constant arguments with Stbxh though. He thinks I shouldn't be helping DS at all ! He does not understand that he has issues. He is just now starting to agnoledge that he has autism.
    So all is good. :) DS 5 is learning things like how to peel a bannana and open his own drink. He has the juice box down and is close to the bannana. It tends to escape or try to escape so it's best for him to do it over a plate. He has a bannana slicer that he loves to use. Then has to use a fork to eat the bannana. He won't walk around and eat it it has to be sliced. Odd boy ! He is all mr independent now lol. He likes to make his own pizzas and butter his own bread. We are teaching DS 13 how to use the oven because his favorite meal is an oven baked chicken breast. He is so happy when he cooks for himself. ( both of them )
    " Wibbly wobbly timey wimey ......." The Doctor
    " I'm a leafe on the wind..watch how I soar ." Wash :((
    " Oh the wall had it comming.' Sherlock Holmes
    yea I am geek !!
  • deviantqueendeviantqueen
    Posts: 337Member
    My dd learned when she was 5. She wanted a pair of pink glitter high tops. I bought them on the condition she could not wear them in public if she did not tie them herself and if they were not worn for two weeks they would be returned to the store. She learned how to tie her shoes in one weekend.
  • 2callmemommy2callmemommy
    Posts: 242Member
    Totally not offended. Honestly I think she's lazy. She can use the microwave, make a sandwich, open a drink even use a can opener but refuses to tie her shoes. It's just frustrating. She's going to be 9 darn it.
  • horsehotti
    Posts: 560Member
    My 11, 9, & 6 yr old's can, 4 yr old cant. 6 year old learned last year, @5. In his kindy class they encourage you to learn, if you learn you are made a shoe sheriff. Meaning kids who can't tie yet can come to you, instead of the teacher to get help. His teacher made a really big deal about it. I'm actually surprised that so many ( minus those that have any sort of delay) don't know how. I make sure my kids learn. Honestly I would not buy Velcro/ zipper shoes or boots until my child learned to tie shoes, of they are over the normal age for learning. Now if they have some delay or other reason that makes learning difficult, then I say go ahead, if its pure laziness, I'd quit making it easy. This is just my opinion, I don't expect everyone to agree with me though
  • GritsGrits
    Posts: 4,370Member
    I remember having these boards that had a pic of a shoe and was laced like a shoe. A lot of kids learned on that. My dad taught me before I was in school, but my DD8 would not learn for the longest time. I think she was almost 7 before she finally let her dad teach her. But it was insanely frustrating. I'm trying to teach my kids the manual way to do a lot of things. It seems like so many kids are being raised with instant gratification that it's a bit of a disservice to them.
    "I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day, and I believe in miracles." ~Audrey Hepburn
  • meandmy243meandmy243
    Posts: 9,474Member
    My ds 13 learned at 10.... ds and dss are 6 and refuse cause they want sketchers and they are velcro. we santa brought laced up shoes... they still wont learn.
    let them eat cake! because id rather have pie!!!
  • sharkmommy
    Posts: 413Member
    DD10 just learned last year after I refused to buy her velcro shoes anymore.  Plus, I would only let her wear her sneakers until she learned to tie her shoes.  DD7 figured it out on her own last year, actually before DD10.  She was fantastic at it!  I guess it all depends on the kid.  I'm a teacher at the middle school level, and I am constantly amazed at how many of my students can't tie their shoes or tell time on a clock!
  • SchweddyBallsSchweddyBalls
    Posts: 4,891Member
    When I was growing up, there was a universal list of shit you HAD to be able to do before starting school. Know all your colors, count to 100, recite the abc's/days of the week/months of the year, write your name, wipe your own ass and tie your shoes. Not sure when all that eas no longer a standard......but made sure all my skids mastered that list by 5.
    I'm the nicest person you will ever meet, UNTIL you fuck with me or the betches I love.......
  • beachmommybeachmommy
    Posts: 3,760Member
    @schweddyballs - the whole time I was reading through this thread, I was thinking the same thing.  My son is not even a year yet, so I have no actual input...
    My beach is still Sandy....
  • KrabbyKay
    Posts: 5,914Member
    DS *attempted* around the 4-5 age, but it was truly terrible and he couldn't go around like that. We just had him keep working on it (DH & I were all amazed with this no-shoe-tying, no-clockface-reading stuff too!). He can do it now well enough to go to school and retie when needed, but as I said it seems to take appx a year to git er done. He can also read a clockface :)
  • momsaidnomomsaidno
    Posts: 1,796Member
    My ds 8 learned last year. He doesn't do it very well. They always come untied!

  • KrabbyKay
    Posts: 5,914Member
    @momsaidno DS8 double knots, that seems to have solved most of that issue!!! FTR DD12 (the one for sale on the BB!!!) learned about K ish age, because of some certain shoes she wanted to wear. So no worries there!!! 
  • OpheliaOphelia
    Posts: 4,866Member
    Ry is almost 5, I keep trying to sit her down and teach her, but she has absolutely no interest.
    Nothing left to do but smile, smile, smile.. -Grateful Dead<3
  • momsaidnomomsaidno
    Posts: 1,796Member
    haha double knots makes sense! @krabbykay

  • LoveLove
    Posts: 14,066Administrator, Moderator
    Mine learned to tie their shoes in Headstart (preK). It was through no actual effort of my own, I assure you.
    I'm trying to teach Spawn now (he's 3) and so far, he's mastered making one hell of a messy knot LOL The bunny ears, swoop thing, just doesn't compute yet for him.

    My two oldest stepsons didn't learn how to tie their shoes until they were like 10 and 11, and wore velcro-fastening shoes, dress shoes, or cowboy boots. (I'd never heard of such, and was just dumbfounded at their not knowing, at their age.)

    I saw this on Pinterest the other day and thought it was a cute idea:

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  • AloneOverseasAloneOverseas
    Posts: 2,312Member
    DS8 has been able to for a couple years, DS7 refuses to try. He is sooooo frustrating at times. Gives up and cries about a lot of things to get out of it. Reading, hanging up clothes, tying shoes. And many other things. Ggrrrrr!!!!!
    I love purple; I love cats. Imagine if cats were purple ...
  • Sultry
    Posts: 97Member
    Oh man, you totally reminded me I have to teach the girls before school! It starts in 2 weeks.

    My son can he's 11. The girls 10 and 7 can't.

    Dd10 is autistic so I've been waiting until this holidays to teach her.
  • BellaBefanaBellaBefana
    Posts: 10,374Member
    I purposely don't buy Velcro shoes for that reason!
    Bite me, cupcake!
  • KellynnKellynn
    Posts: 2,284Member
    I taught Z how to tie with a paper plate and a shoelace. I just punched two holes in the paper plate and threaded the shoelace though. Cheap and easy!
  • cheesehead4ever
    Posts: 1,139Member
    DH told me that when he was in first grade, he was kept in from recess on the first day of school because he didn't tie his own shoes. Obviously this wasn't they covered in kindergarten. His mother was mortified when she found this out in the last few years. She said she would have vigilant about teaching him if she had known that would happen.
  • momofdbbmomofdbb
    Posts: 10,900Member
    I learned when I was in 2nd grade I think. My mom had completely given up on teaching me but my big brother taught me. He also taught me how to ride my bike. Ok I was 13 when I did that.
    Here is my big secret. The person who taught me how to read an anolg clock was ....... DH. No one ever taught me ! Not a teacher , not my mom , no one. I did not know how to do it. I just always had digital . I asked him what time it was and he showed me his watch and it was analog ! I asked again and he showed me again and I'm like , and what time is it ???? He wa so shocked ! So yep There it is I was 20 years old when I learned how to read a clock face. I wear an analog watch now , still have to look at it for a second to figure it out when I'm sleepy. I swear I'm not stupid ! No one ever taught me. Mom said I just wouldn't listen. I don't remember them trying.
    " Wibbly wobbly timey wimey ......." The Doctor
    " I'm a leafe on the wind..watch how I soar ." Wash :((
    " Oh the wall had it comming.' Sherlock Holmes
    yea I am geek !!
  • WhoDatIsWhoDatIs
    Posts: 1,453Member
    DD10 yes, DS8 no, DD7 no.
    With DS, its a struggle to get him to find his shoes let alone have time for him to practice, I dread the day he wants shoes that tie and wants to do it himself but its always a time issue, we're just always in a rush. DD7 let's me tie hers and I plan to teach them both this summer. DD10 learned at age 6 but she was interested and wouldn't let me do it for her anymore.
    You and me, we go way back.
  • chaosmomchaosmom
    Posts: 4,186Member
    DS7 knows how to tie his shoes. It just depends on his mental state if he can at the particular moment.

    I have been working with DS5. He has mastered zipping his coat & manipulating the buttons on his pants but is getting very frustrated at the whole shoe tying ordeal. And once he gets it, I'll move on to DS4 (he's working on reliably wiping his butt lol).
  • 2callmemommy2callmemommy
    Posts: 242Member
    Along with the no tie thing she can't ride a bike. She got a brand new bike for christmas 2 years ago and she's never touched it. When she has friends over they ride it. I don't know if she's even capable of doing it she just doesn't try. She can ride a bike with training eheels tho but at her age I refuse to put training wheels on her bike. She can roller skate and ride a scooter tho.
  • AAA08
    Posts: 427Member
    We literally had to force my son to learn. It was hell, but it is now his favorite thing to do. He keeps asking when spring is so he can ride. That's why I stand by my thoughts that it's important to make kids learn to do things they think are hard.


  • 2callmemommy2callmemommy
    Posts: 242Member
    She's got it in her head that without training wheels it'll be too hard. The bike thing doesn't frustrate me as much as the tieing but it still bugs me. I don't push her to ride her bike but when it's nice out (not for another 6 months...its 4 below here now) I ask if she'd like to try and it's always nope. That's it just nope.
  • AAA08
    Posts: 427Member
    That is what he said...it would be too hard. One day last spring, my husband and I took snacks snd water outside and said that's all we were doing all day long. We took bathroom breaks and lunch breaks, but no tv, no other games, etc. He crie at first then realized we were serious. He could ride by 1,pm(started at about 10 am) training wheel free. He was so happy and we ceebrated with ice cream with my parents, and he was bragging to all the neighbors. I learned to ride late(and tie shoes) because I was sort of the same way as a kid. I always eished my parents just made me. I acted like I didn't care, but I really,I felt dumb around my friends.

    I had to do the same with the shoes. I wasn't sure if it was the right thing at the time, but I think it was. He is a happy kid. :)
  • shouldcleanshouldclean
    Posts: 2,808Member
    @2callmemommy my sister NEVER rode a bike when we were little. We grew up in a small town and that is what you did, I rode my bike everywhere, that was one of the best gifts growing up. I still don't think she can ride one.
  • Proud2BAmomma
    Posts: 1Member
    Neither of my girls can tie their shoes. They are 8 (will be 9 in May) and my little one just turned 5. They aren't even interested.
  • apeppersmith
    Posts: 10Member
    I remember being in kindy and asking a random passing teacher (she taught first grade) to tie my shoes at recess.  She delayed whatever it was she was on her way to do and spent the entire recess teaching me how, and it worked.  Told me she'd rather spend the time to get me through it than spend the next year as my teacher doing it for me.  As it turned out I didn't end up in her class.  
    Ds3 has shown an interest, but no skill at all, and DD is 2 days from 2, no attempt yet.