An Illness that ruins sex life
  • smboc
    Posts: 4Member
    Ok so 10 years ago I was diagnosed with an illness that can only be helped with pain management. For years I have either stayed single or didnt tell the person I was seeing about my problems. The best i could ever do was to lie and say that my period was on during the times that I hurt. You see, this illness makes sex very painful.Some times it last 3 weeks out of a month. So anyway i have been dating this great guy for 2 years. He acts very ok about not having sex when I am hurting BUT on the times when I'm feeling good for a change, he barely gives me sex then either. You see. my belief is I take it while I can. We are only in our early 30's.Is this ok or even normal for a man to not ever seem interested in sex? Sometimes I think its because I have gained weight but he says im perfect the way I am. I feel very neglected though I know its not entirely his fault.It's like if you dont use it you lose it sort of thing. I dont want him to someday wake up and resent me for his/our lack of sex life and move on. I love him but damn, I'm already insecure because of this illness. There is so much more to this story but I feel this is enough info for now since this is my first dicussion.*HELP*
  • Lulu
    Posts: 279Member
    Does he know about your illness?
  • SaraMommySaraMommy
    Posts: 878Member
    If he doesn't know about your illness, which it sounds like he may not, I would definitely tell him. After being with someone for 2 years, you should be able to open up to him. It would also help for him to know the reasons why you hurt a lot. Also, I think it would help you having him there to support you during your tough times.
  • GingersnapGingersnap
    Posts: 9,696Member
    I know for me, going without for awhile decreases my sex drive. I've known guys in their 30s to report the same thing. I don't know how this works for guys in general. A few anecdotal cases isn't really a trend. I agree that talking openly about this sounds like a good idea. 
    “The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.” ― Joseph Campbell
  • episcopal
    Posts: 1,851Member
    The longer I go without, the more my drive diminishes.  I would guess this becomes more the case as we guys age since beginning at about age 35, our testosterone levels diminish a little bit each year for the rest of our lives.
  • BeerWenchBeerWench
    Posts: 2,819Member
    Defiantly talk about it.
    :¦:-•:*'""*:•.-:¦:-•** She who leaves a trail of glitter is never forgotten**•-:¦:-•:*'""*:• -:¦:-