After You Get Dumped Question
  • Red
    Posts: 46Member
    After you get dumped isn't it customary for the dumper to unfriend the dumpee on fb?  This is confusing me.  Like why wouldn't the dumpee be unfriended if they're not good enough to be with. 

    Here's the details.  3 year relationship.  Abruptly ended by the BF.  The now EXBF hasn't unfriended the now EXGF from fb.

    Am I even making any sense?  Can someone explain to me why he wouldn't unfriend her? 
  • PurpleFlowersPurpleFlowers
    Posts: 6,043Member
    Some people just like to have a lot of "friends" on FB. I dont think it matters to them who they are. If thats not the case, then I have no idea. It does seem a bit odd.
    Stay away from my chocolate and nobody gets hurt!

    I think I like who I am becoming...
  • gramalibbygramalibby
    Posts: 3,744Member
    Odd why would except to keep u under survalance. scarry
  • katz_meowkatz_meow
    Posts: 6,380Member
    Or he wants her to see what he's doing, make her suffer more? Idk..?
    There is nothing to be gained from treating others poorly.

    Don't be a dick.
  • WickedDunkieJunkieWickedDunkieJunkie
    Posts: 8,649Member
    Or maybe even though he is with someone else now(?)... he wants to keep her on ice.... just in case.... then he can claim it was a mistake to have let her go.... please take him back.... blah blah blah.

    Wouldn't be the first time I've heard that scenario.
    WDJ_Avatar_zps4536679b
    We Are The Music Makers... And We Are The Dreamers Of Dreams...

  • MollyGrahamMollyGraham
    Posts: 1,446Member
    My nephew is still FB friends with two of his exes. In his case, they actually are still friends IRL too. How long ago did this couple break up? Is it possible he hasn't gotten around to it yet? Either way the EXGF can always unfriend (and block) him if it's really bothering her.
    Normal people never change the world.
  • Red
    Posts: 46Member
    The breakup happened in Nov @MollyGraham . Last communication between the 2 was in Jan. 
  • WickedDunkieJunkieWickedDunkieJunkie
    Posts: 8,649Member
    Are you the new gf?

    Are there children between them? I still am friends with my ex-husband on FB, but we were together 18 years & have 5 children together. It makes it easy for us to tag pictures of the kids etc. Other than that... we just call/text... we also live right down the street from eachother.

    If not, on one hand I can understand that they were together a long time & if they breakup was amicable... then okay... but if it makes you uncomfortable... then he should unfriend her. And she should respect that.

    WDJ_Avatar_zps4536679b
    We Are The Music Makers... And We Are The Dreamers Of Dreams...

  • PurpleFlowersPurpleFlowers
    Posts: 6,043Member
    I am FB friends with my stbxh, along with his mom and all his brothers and sisters. Lol. Thats just me though. I get along with everybody.
    Stay away from my chocolate and nobody gets hurt!

    I think I like who I am becoming...
  • MollyGrahamMollyGraham
    Posts: 1,446Member
    @Red I don't think I'd worry about it too much. Posts can be set to exclude anyone you don't want seeing them, so even if they are "friends" you can still keep things private that you don't want to share.
    Normal people never change the world.
  • beachmommybeachmommy
    Posts: 3,760Member
    Well how am I supposed to stalk my ex's if I unfriend them??
    My beach is still Sandy....
  • tothemoonandbacktothemoonandback
    Posts: 3,934Member
    lol @beachmommy, exactly!  jk.. I have several ex boyfriends on my fb, but at this point (10, 15 years later and more) it's more just a curiosity and 'at this point we can really just be friends' thing.  Course a lot of people have a zillion friends and could care less about who's there, or he still wants to be in touch, who knows?
    Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius, and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring. - Marilyn Monroe
  • VegantasticVegantastic
    Posts: 4,225Member

    Well how am I supposed to stalk my ex's if I unfriend them??



    LOL @beachmommy (see, if I had a button I'd be on the next post by now lol)
    "Be the change you wish to see in the world"
    "Don't Panic"
  • Red
    Posts: 46Member
    @wickeddunkiejunkie, @purpleflowers, @vegantastic, @tothemoonandback, @beachmommy @mollygraham & @whoeverelseisinterested 

    Sorry for the delay in the reply.  I'm a reg and haven't had a chance to log out of my other account when DH isn't home.

    Back story.

    Boy-o and I dated for 3 years.  Just broke up last November.  I'm married.  Have been the entire time.  He got a gf like 1/3 of the way through our "relationship."  She knew about me.  DH doesn't know about him.  We don't have any kids together.  I have 2 kids w DH.  I am fb friends w his Mom, Step dad, 2 sister and we have numerous mutual friends.  Because of something I did he broke up w me.  I understand why he was mad.  IMHO he should get over it.  I have forgiven him a number of times in the past that should have been deal breakers. 

    I offered to unfriend his family.  He told me not to.  Said that they don't have to lose me and blah, blah, blah.   I just don't understand why if he's so mad at me that we're not talking then why doesn't he unfriend me.

    And I don't unfriend him because...well...I like to see that he's happy.  It's a bittersweet thing.  But after all this time I still care about him.  I know.  I should get over it, but it's more difficult than I thought. 

    Does more information on the situation help?  Feel free to ask more questions.  I'll get back to them when I can.
  • BellaBefanaBellaBefana
    Posts: 10,374Member
    Men are idiots?
    Bite me, cupcake!
  • PurpleFlowersPurpleFlowers
    Posts: 6,043Member

    Men are idiots?



    Hahaha! Yep! Perfect answer @bellabefana ;)
    Stay away from my chocolate and nobody gets hurt!

    I think I like who I am becoming...
  • tothemoonandbacktothemoonandback
    Posts: 3,934Member
    Hmm.. might save you some stress if you just unfriended all of them (him and his family), but I get how hard that would be.  Are you hoping you'll get back together?  I would just be done with it all so it doesn't keep screwing with your head!
    Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius, and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring. - Marilyn Monroe
  • beachmommybeachmommy
    Posts: 3,760Member

    Is he active on FB? Posting all the time, checking all the time? 

    What I am getting at, is maybe it isn't that important to him.  He might not even think about it. 

    If you are looking at this as a sign that you guys might be getting back together, I don't know that this is strong enough proof...

    My beach is still Sandy....
  • BellaBefanaBellaBefana
    Posts: 10,374Member
    Idk if your married and he has a gf, I'd just let it go and YOU unfriend him before new starts making a stink.
    Bite me, cupcake!