Sexy Panties for a 17 yr old
  • Discombobulated
    Posts: 57Member
    My husband has primary custody of his 17 y/o daughter.  Her mom gave her up voluntarily because she couldnt handle her.  i have been in her life since the age of 2, when they got divorced.  Now at 17 and a jr in high school, she and her mom are buddy buddy, which is ok.  So now her mom takes her shopping and buys her lace and sheer thongs, and red lace bra and panty sets... even a thong with a zipper in the front.  I personally dont think its appropriate to buy that for a 17 year old girl.  

    What are your thougts on this?  curious how the scales tip.
  • RuralRebellionRuralRebellion
    Posts: 2,817Member
    I was wearing sexy undies at that age, and my mom who was a super control freak bought some for me too.  At 17 I personally don't see anything wrong with it.  15 no, 17 not so bad.  17 is also when I moved out of the house and lost my virginity and that was late compared to everyone else I knew, so my suggestion is to just relax!  She's a teen, if she is going to rebel, at least she's doing it discreetly under her clothes!
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Most everyone's mad here. You may notice that I'm not all there myself.
  • katz_meowkatz_meow
    Posts: 6,380Member
    I remember trying to get my mother to buy me that kind of undies when I was a teen. She wouldn't. And no, I don't think I would either. If she thinks she's old enough to wear it, then she's old enough to buy it herself
    There is nothing to be gained from treating others poorly.

    Don't be a dick.
  • LoveLove
    Posts: 14,066Administrator, Moderator
    My mom never bought me any underwear or bras that weren't granny-styled and/or white. (Except for one bra she got on sale that had a little light pink paisley pattern).
    But I got a job at 15 and started buying my own cute underwear, somewhere around 16ish.
    Of course, she saw it in the laundry and was all "What the HAIL is this???????" (Sheer red lace. My favorite, at the time)

    No boy had ever seen it, much less touched it, or what was underneath, but it made me feel empowered to have sexy underwear, for some reason...

    Sometimes it's less about actual sex, and more about feeling confident and sexy in your own skin.

    Maybe you could talk to her and ask her why? You'll get a lot farther with a teenager being open to discussion... Maybe her girlfriends were making fun of her granny panties in the locker room. You won't know until you ask.

    community-manager


  • meandmy243meandmy243
    Posts: 9,474Member
    My parents baught it in the since they handed me money... But at 17 sexy undies were the least of their worries..
    let them eat cake! because id rather have pie!!!
  • shouldcleanshouldclean
    Posts: 2,808Member
    I'm no help. At that age I had a job. Bought my own clothes and did my own laundry. I wore whatever kind of underwear I wanted. Not sure how I will feel when my dd3 if old enough for those types of things.
  • NorthernMommyNorthernMommy
    Posts: 348Member

    At 17, I was wearing matching underwear and bras; it had nothing to do with who was seeing it and more to do with how I felt in it.  My mom bought it for me, or let me pick out what I liked.

    I'm 30, and still wear matching underwear!  It helps me feel more in control of what's going on in my life if I'm matched on the inside!

  • momofdbbmomofdbb
    Posts: 10,900Member
    I don't see too much wrong other than I can't stand thongs ! Could never wear them. The zipper one I would take away or at least ask her to put them up untill she is older . Like a hope chest thing.
    " Wibbly wobbly timey wimey ......." The Doctor
    " I'm a leafe on the wind..watch how I soar ." Wash :((
    " Oh the wall had it comming.' Sherlock Holmes
    yea I am geek !!
  • BlessieBlessie
    Posts: 2,108Member
    @momoddbb a slutty underwear hope chest. =)) =)) =))
  • thislittlemommy5thislittlemommy5
    Posts: 167Member
    I don't see a problem with lace but thongs and such would be a no... I know for me cute panties and bra sets make me feel better about how I look. So it's not all bad but there should be limits, she doesn't need zippered panties that's for sure...
  • MollyGrahamMollyGraham
    Posts: 1,446Member
    Fwiw, I had tons of sexy undies at that age and I didn't have a real boyfriend until I was almost 20. That being said, I second what the other SMs have said about discussing it with her. Let her know how you feel about it and see what she has to say.
    Normal people never change the world.
  • Strawberry
    Posts: 504Member
    I think its not too bad, my mom picked and bought my undies at that age too. Some where really sexy bc I only wore thongs and g strings at that age, unless I was on my period then I wore package granny panties. Lol! Maybe she doesn't like the horrible underwear line u get with regular undies? Ask her, ur more like her mom anyways I'm sure she'll open up to you.
  • just_mejust_me
    Posts: 1,035Member
    I don think its necessarily a sex thing...its probably more of a fit in with friends and feel good type of thing. Ok I know I'm ultra trusting and too head-in-the-clouds ... but she deserves to feel pretty. And yeah at 17 I think its perfectly fine...as long as she doesnt have teddies and dildoes. ;)
    I can't be perfect all the time...so give it up already!
  • MomaFive
    Posts: 1,539Member
    My granny bought me a match set of dark plum colored satin & lace push up bra & panties (not a thong mind you) when I was 16. I thought it was an odd present for Christmas to be coming from my granny. She pulled me aside and talked to me about it later, and she said "every woman deserves to feel pretty, and even if you're wearing them under sweatpants and a hoodie shirt, you know that it's there and that alone can be enough to pick up your spirit"
    And it's true. Granted I moved out at 17 and was paying my way, but even when I was single/not sexually active I had fancy undies.

    Now that all being said : I don't agree with the thongs with zippers, to me that's a bit too racy. But the lacy ones, sheer ones (maybe) and match sets could be as simple as "makes me feel pretty".

    I've been raising my step daughter since she was 8 - she's now 16 - she's not into thong underwear, but I buy her whatever bras she wants (color & style wise). I don't think I'd take her to a sex shop & buy open nipple styled bras - but if she wants a black & pink zebra print push up then so be it.

    I think to each their own. If you're not comfortable with it maybe talk to her mom? Just point out that she is 17 and zip-up thongs aren't exactly age appropriate....

    Best of luck!
  • KrabbyKay
    Posts: 5,914Member
    Me too, me too, buying my panties at Vicki's Secret at that age. Thongs b/c I hated panty lines, esp when riding in those wretched breeches in shows!!! It was about having pretty, matching bras and panties, not about sex. The zippered number might be going a bit far, but.....yeah talk to her.
  • CrashCrash
    Posts: 10,571Member
    My dad encouraged me at 14 and 15 to buy underwear that made me feel good about myself. At 17, she's probably already having sex, or thinking about it. It's kind of past the time where you can afford to be worried what the package is wrapped up in. As long as she's not letting it all hang out in public, then she's fine.

    Ask me in 6 years when my daughter's 17 though...haha.
    Why be a king when you can be a God?
  • just_kimjust_kim
    Posts: 559Member
    I miss the like button. :-(
    Make sure she's wearing them because she wants to & not because someone else is asking her to... But sexy underwear is ok at 17. I wish I still had the body for it.
  • amandymichelleamandymichelle
    Posts: 35Member
    I wore them starting around 16. I have a curvy backside and was constantly picking wedgies. My mom suggested thongs and she helped me shop. I haven't had a single wedgie since ... Well, except for after I delivered and had to wear granny panties. And yeah for me it was about how I felt in them. I mean if you're her caretaker then you should know where she is at all times. If she's a good girl then I wouldn't worry about it...
    And the hope chest thing makes me laugh. I'm sorry.
  • BeachyBeachy
    Posts: 4,697Member
    Eh, I am against it. Sexy for a teen? Nope. Cute, matching sets for a teen, yes.
    But, me, as a mom to two (toddler) girls cannot wrap my head around buying sexy undies for my kids. Even when they are 40 and rocking them for their wives or husbands.
    Just no, sexy is inappropriate, cute is ok. VS pink line is super cute, with thongs and matching bras but not overtly sexual.
    Tell BioMom to stop. It's gross. The zipper? Gag. She's trying to be a friend, and not a mother.
    Searching for my lost shaker of salt.
  • LesboMomLesboMom
    Posts: 3,812Confessional Manager
    I think I am fine with lace and sheer - but kind of abashedly offended at the zippered panties!!!! 

    confessional-manager

    Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow. -- Helen Keller
  • WillileeWillilee
    Posts: 1,621Member
    @Beachy I am with you. DSD about had a fit when she wanted stuff from VS and said OK but I ixnayed most of it. No words on the butt, no thongs, no rhinestones, etc. Cute but modest or nothing. I told her if she got a job she could buy her own stuff.

    Doesn't help that their mom buys the girls (who have natural C-cups) those water-filled bras that make them 2 cup sizes bigger. So they feel like their boobs aren't big enough. Awesome. Those are definitely getting "lost".
  • LLBLLB
    Posts: 5,622Member
    I'm gonna have to go with nope not okay! My daughters are only 6 years and 8 days old but when they are teens I will NOT buy them sexy undies!

    And apparently I'm living under a rock because I can't even visualize what a zippered thong would look like and what purpose the zipper would serve.
  • LLBLLB
    Posts: 5,622Member
    As for thongs preventing wedgies how does that work exactly? Wearing a thong is like walking around with a constant wedgie...
  • BeachyBeachy
    Posts: 4,697Member
    @llb I wear thongs, and only thongs. I have for years. The right fit wont give you a wedgie. I do it bc of panty lines, period. I don't like them. But no one sees my undies except dh and younguns, so idcare. But if I wear a dress I totally wear leggings under.
    So I get that rationale, but red, sheer, zippered? Not a chance in hell on my teen daughter. No matter that I will trust them and respect them and their decisions.... Lol I will let y'all know in 13 yrs...
    Searching for my lost shaker of salt.
  • BeachyBeachy
    Posts: 4,697Member
    Oh and @discombobulated, my ma, was and is, hardcore. She would snatch my clothes up in a heartbeat and rip them up if they were too slutty. A course of action I now appreciate and will incorporate into my own child rearing.
    Searching for my lost shaker of salt.
  • CrashCrash
    Posts: 10,571Member
    At 17...here....it's less than a year to moving out and being independent. If you're still having fits over their underpants, I guess you should be glad there's nothing bigger to worry about, lol.
    Why be a king when you can be a God?
  • SalllyWingo
    Posts: 1,557Member

    I'm no help. At that age I had a job. Bought my own clothes and did my own laundry. I wore whatever kind of underwear I wanted. Not sure how I will feel when my dd3 if old enough for those types of things.



    Me too
  • TheHeadacheslayer
    Posts: 2,472Member
    You've gotten some good advice....I think some of those are a bit too racy (the zippered thong).

    DD now gets her own things--and she does like Victoria's Secret (ladies--let me tell you--the bathing suits are more appropriate than those I've found at Target).

    If she were seriously dating someone I might be concerned if she was buying lots of "sexy" bras & panties. But she's not dating at all and I do know she feels better about herself wearing pushup bras/etc. 
  • momma2A
    Posts: 1,148Member
    I'm not sure I would buy my daughter sexy underwear. I don't see a problem with cute matching sets, but racy would make me uncomfortable I think.

    I was told to get a job at 15 so from then on I bought my own clothes and paid for all my stuff besides groceries and shelter.
  • WickedDunkieJunkieWickedDunkieJunkie
    Posts: 8,649Member
    As the mother of 3 daughters, ages 18, 16, & 10. I don't have an issue with thongs & lace. Zippers? WTF?

    And I KNOW that my older 2 daughters are sexually active. They were forthcoming when virginity was lost. I put them on birth control myself. My 18 (almost 19) year old, is married to her high school sweetheart that joined the military.
    It's my 20yr old son that has a 2yr old. (When is BC for men going to be ready? *sigh*)

    Personally, I'm not a thong wearer. But, I have a big ass.

    If YOU as the primary caregiver don't like the panties, maybe you could do as @momofdbb suggested and take the ones that are a little TOO sexy. Zippered crotches are for sexy time. Not little girl time.
    I may KNOW that my DD16 isn't a virgin, but I don't need to help her in any possible endeavors. I still preach abstinence to my kids.
    Well, the unmarried ones.
    WDJ_Avatar_zps4536679b
    We Are The Music Makers... And We Are The Dreamers Of Dreams...

  • Discombobulated
    Posts: 57Member
    Definitely great advice from all. I personally have an issue with buying sexy underwear for a 17 year old. Cute... pretty matching sets... Ok. But sexy...no. There is a difference.
    Her mom at this point is more of a friend than a mom. I don't interfere with their time together as her mom lives in a different state and they don't see each other often... Just when she comes home with all this sexy stuff, i just shake my head.

    and to clarify... I don't buy her granny panties. Lol. I buy her cute or pretty bikinis or sets. and I won't.

    she has asked me to buy her some panties/thongs/bras that i felt were too sexy. I told her sorry...but no. and she says... but mom buys them for me. and I said I'm sorry... I don't agree with that and I'm not going to buy them.

    Yes she is 17... But just barely 17. Only 2 months ago she was 16. She does have a steady boyfriend who is in college (which is another story i will address in another thread lol)... They don't see each other often cause her dad is not really ok with the relationship.... Also he lives an hour away. She says she is not sexually active... She is generally honest with me about that stuff. But I'm not 100% confident she is fully honest.

    It looks like we're almost down the middle in the opinions.... We all agree on the cute pretty things.... but don't agree on sexy things.

    I feel better that some do agree with me though :).
  • SalllyWingo
    Posts: 1,557Member
    Show her Daddy!  See what he says ;)
  • katz_meowkatz_meow
    Posts: 6,380Member
    @Soupermom...lol that made me laugh...but I'm pretty sure showing her dad is a baaaaad idea. Lol
    There is nothing to be gained from treating others poorly.

    Don't be a dick.
  • SalllyWingo
    Posts: 1,557Member
    @katz_meow  I am kinda wicked that way... ;)
  • BlessieBlessie
    Posts: 2,108Member
    "Accidently" leave them out.... >:)
  • Discombobulated
    Posts: 57Member
    Show her Daddy!  See what he says ;)


    Whew Boy... That might take a few years off his ticker. Lol
  • Discombobulated
    Posts: 57Member
    katz_meow said:

    @Soupermom...lol that made me laugh...but I'm pretty sure showing her dad is a baaaaad idea. Lol




    Yes... Verrrrry bad idea... Shudder
  • Discombobulated
    Posts: 57Member
    @wickeddunkiejunkie

    "i don't need to help her in any possible endeavors."

    Exactly!!!
  • theprincessmommytheprincessmommy
    Posts: 701Member
    My mom took me shopping but didn't really pay attention to or care what went in the cart except price so I had "sexy" panties... of course my idea of sexy was satin bikinis which were also comfy (I hate thongs) 
  • cheesehead4ever
    Posts: 1,139Member
    LLB said:

    As for thongs preventing wedgies how does that work exactly? Wearing a thong is like walking around with a constant wedgie...


    I'm also very concerned about what could get caught in the zipper. Ouch. But maybe those who wear zipper underwear have full bikini waxes and Brazilians and don't have to worry.
    I have no issues with cute or pretty matching sets, but I have issues with sexy sheer panties for teens.

  • MomchalantMomchalant
    Posts: 299Member

    Coming from a young girl/mom.. I'd say it's a bit inappropriate. Yes, girls at that age want to look sexy but I don't believe that it's the mother's job to promote it. Sexy is sexy, but classy is a different kind of sexy, a kind that a mother could promote. Thongs are okay, some dress pants require thongs unless you don't mind a panty line, but a thong with a zipper in the front? That's way too much. If the daughter owns one of those, the mom should have no idea about it and she should be washing it at her friend's house to keep her secret.