I start too many threads but...

Onmylastnerve

I need some opinions on my psychotic MIL.
My daughter is turning 1 and we don't want to invite her to the party but I have this little voice that says "it's her grandma". Since she has been born, psycho MIL has only seen her twice so they don't even know each other. She doesn't really accept her a granddaughter because I'm such a bitch, and I never let her see her. To be honest her son is the one that says no.
Do I invite her and hope for the best or leave her out of the happy memories cause she will and has ruined every one?

Onmylastnerve

Dh hates his mom and refuses to speak with her. I tried talking to him and I always get I hate my mom I don't want to talk about. He won't explain any further :-W

Gingersnap

^^what she said^^

emmaoremmy

If her own son doesn't like her, I definitely wouldn't invite her. And she won't accept her own granddaughter? Why would you even think about inviting her? Def no!

chaosmom

I have to agree. If dh doesn't want her around and you have issues with her as well, she doesn't get an invite. It will be a fun, happy day full of memories! Happy 1st birthday little one!!

InsanityandChaos

If DH doesn't want her there, then don't invite her. And if she tries to give you hell about it all you have to say is you need to speak to your son about this. I agree, don't put yourself in the middle of them.

Onmylastnerve

I know you girls are right I keep trying to tell myself she'd ruin it.

fatchickonabike

I concur with the other ladies. She would ruin it, and your husband would be pretty peeved that you invited her, considering how he feels about his mother. If you really think it's important for Grandma to see your daughter around her birthday, you could always arrange to go visit her with your daughter at a later date.

Onmylastnerve

That's a good idea.

TypoFaery

I know exactly how you feel and the guilt. My brother is gun with a hair trigger when it comes to family events. Sometimes he is fine others it takes next to nothing to set him off. So we have just decided rather than spend the time walking on egg shells it is better to just not invite him. Yeah you feel guilty for shunning a family member, but why should everyone have a crappy time because one relative cant keep it together? Your daughter will only have one first birthday, do you really want to spend it playing babysitter and referee to your MIL? Let your little girl have a good birthday with her mommy focused on her. *hugs* Good luck and let us know how it goes.

Onmylastnerve

@Typofairy yup that's my mil. Sometimes she is just fine and next thing you know something simple just sets her off and she is mean and vicous! Last time we talked she said she hated me cause I was smart ass. I was just pointing out when she said I would eventually kill her son that I had witness's and she couldn't deny it.

Sammie

Yep, the ladies are right. If he doesn't want her there, then I wouldn't invite her. Your daughter doesn't need any negativity at her party. But...I'd make sure to let DH know that he is going to be the one dealing with any and all backlash that may result. You shouldn't be forced to clean up the mess, since you left it up to him.

CanadianMama

I like @fatchickonabike's idea. Invite her to do something else with you and your daughter to celebrate her birthday. I always say a baby can't have enough love, and *if* your MIL wants to be a grandmother to her granddaughter then you should find ways to let that happen.

However, if she doesn't, good riddance. Obviously your husband has his reasons for not liking and wanting his mother, it would be great if he shared them with you, but its his mother, therefore his business.

Anonymous

NO. do NOT invite her to the party! @fatchickonabike 's idea was perfect.

think about it-----he doesn't want his own mother at his baby's 1st birthday party. there's a reason! he has experience with this.

canadamom

I would respect your DH wishes and NOT invite his mother. His needs are more important than a party your daughter won't remember.

Chibiko

My kiddos (DS5 & DD3) have never met anyone in my Dh's side if the family. This is a personal choice that I have yet to regret. It's just so much easier without having to deal with their bullshit drama. My kiddos are happy with my side if the family. At this point they dont even know they have more grandparents and cousins out there.