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The Exhole part 2
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Many of you are aware of the latest incident with the exhole. Briefly for those out of the loop, my 9 year old DD wears a very fine strip of pink in her baby blonde hair. She loves it. Her father, my XH, HATES it. Last weekend, she came home and said that Daddy's girlfriend told her she looked trashy with that pink in her hair. To say that I saw red would be an understatement. I won't go into the details right at this second, but suffice it to say that this woman calling anyone trashy is ironic at the very least.I could not decide how to handle it. I knew things wouldn't end well if I did/said to her what was on my mind. In the end, I decided to take it up with him, in hopes that he would take care of it from his side without the need for me to see the inside of a jail cell.What follows are the ensuing emails regarding the incident.
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Ok first off, this isn't about money, or anything to do with money!
Several things:
(1.) Here are the dates that Grace is suppose to be cheering next. These are home basketball games.
* December 9, 2011
* January 20, 2012
* January 27, 2012
(2.) I think the kids woke up with you last year on Christmas?
Eric has his Christmas mornings set on the even-numbered years too. Which means that we won't be getting Jacob and Joshua until noon on Christmas this year.
I hate for them to have separate Christmases again this year, so if you want them to wake up again with you this year, that'll be ok, so we can get them together at the same time for opening gifts and whatnot...
You don't have to, or if you can't, that's fine too.
But I would like to know one way or the other as early as possible so that we can start planning things...
(3.) Alex and Grace are both grounded for their grades. I'm assuming they didn't feel the need to pass that information on to you. And I should have done it sooner, but I didn't think of it. Grace's report card was so-so, mostly A's, but her weekly test grades had a really bad streak the last couple weeks, especially in Math. She says she knows how to do it, but just gets in a hurry. Alex has great weekly test grades, but he had a 79 in Social Studies on his report card, which is unacceptable. He bombed an important test, because he was "just trying to hurry up and get it done so I could go play". His words, not mine.
So... they are grounded from the TV, from the Playstation, from the DSI, from the cell phone, from having company, from going to their friends house, and all etc.
They have zero privileges until they get those grades up.
I'm not being mean, but they're capable of much better than this.
Just wanted to let you know...
(4.) Last thing, and I left this one til last, because I'm not sure how best to express my irritation....
I realize that some people have different ideas regarding Halloween and whatnot, so what Alex had to say regarding Lisa's comments on his choice of costumes went by pretty much with no more than an eyeroll. It could have even been taken out of context. I know how kids are. But when Gracie followed that up by telling me that Lisa told her she looks trashy because of her pink streak, I got a little hot. This also may have been taken out of context, but I'm thinking probably not.
I know we don't always agree on the kids' hairstyles and we probably never will, but that is really insignificant in the long run. It's just hair.
What bothers me, what flat out pisses me off, is anyone telling my children that they look tacky, trashy, shitty, or whatever the comments may be...
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion.
But these are KIDS for Christ sake.
You don't tell a 9 year old child that she looks trashy because she has a half inch pink streak in her hair.
Especially considering the source. But I'll leave that there.
Emotional/verbal abuse of my children will NOT be tolerated.
Especially from a non-parental third party.
I am trying to be as nice as I can be right now, Jr. But this isn't the first time the kids have told me she has said things like this, and it needs to stop.
Adults need to handle adult things and remember who they're talking to and choose their words a little better.
Alex and Grace are both right at the edge of puberty right now, and their self-esteem is not something that I will allow to be played with.
Just PLEASE put a hamper on it before it gets out of hand.
If this went down some other different way, please feel free to fill me in.
Because I'm very confused.
I can't imagine any grown person speaking to a 9 year old like that and thinking that it's ok. -
From him:Lisa isn't the only one with problems with that crap in Grace's hair I do also and if you had better since you would too but thats neither here nor there. I don't like it, it doesn't look good. I think a kid should be happy within reason and the hair isn't within reason to me. I believe the kids grades are important and had I known they wouldn't have done nothing this past weekend. As far as Christmas that's fine I'm off that weekend anyway so that will work.
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My rebuttal:I never knew you had such a problem with reading comprehension. Seriously, I didn't.
Because I thought I was pretty clear.
Or are you just naturally defensive and missing the point?
Let me try again.
I do NOT care who does not like the hair.
Everyone is entitled to their opinion. And we are all quite aware of where your opinions are on the subject.
What I care about is the emotional well-being of my children.
Let me be even more clear.
What I care about is that you and/or she thinks it's ok to talk to my daughter like that.
Any grown person who thinks that it is ok to talk to a 9 year old like that needs to find themselves a clue.
Or better yet, stay away from my kids until they learn some manners.
It is NOT OK to tell a baby that they look trashy, whether you think they do or not.
I do not want ANYONE speaking to my children like that.
I don't know how much clearer I can be.
It is NOT OK to talk to them like that.
Whatever your opinions on whatever, you (both of you) need to learn how to make your point in a grown up way without hurting the kids, like any decent parent would do.
She LOVES her hair.
Her friends love her hair.
Her teachers have no problem with her hair.
Our preacher has no problems with her hair.
This isn't about your ideas of what looks good or doesn't look good.
This is about HOW YOU SPEAK TO AN IMPRESSIONABLE 9 YEAR OLD BABY GIRL.
Maybe you aren't aware of it, but that really hurt Grace's feelings.
Words need to be chosen more carefully.
That is ALL I was trying to say.
I can't believe you'd let someone talk to your own daughter like that. I really can't.
If you need some help picking out some better words to get your point across to small children, just let me know.
Your mother and sister may also be of some help with that.
There is a *right* way and a *wrong* way to go about explaining things to them.
The difference is important. -
And THEN, my husband asked for an update on the situation. I didn't want to read the whole emails to him, because I had my hands full at the time, so I forwarded all those to him. He read them and sent this back to me:
Love I wouldn't worry about it, I know u & JR don't agree on alot of things but I don't see how putting pink in Gracie hair makes her trashy at all. I can't understand how he is flipping out over this minor stuff when not long ago his fiance was sending me nude pictures wanting to fuck me & I still got ALL the recorded phone phone calls where his fiance admitted to fucking Brian Taylor for money for money & the hotel charging her debit card for broken items from one of their little incidents & she admitted they been fucking since she been with JR. So what I will do is give him a copy of all the phone calls & nude photos, then I want the BOTH of them to tell me who is the TRASHY SLUT! I try not to get into yalls business with the kids but if this happens AGAIN I'm going to handle it myself because nobody is going to talk to Grace like that! JR needs to wake his ass up & get a clue....
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And I of course, took the support from that, but left the bs, because he gets pretty hot, and it wasn't worth more than an eyeroll and a chuckle......And then he calls today and asks if I've heard back from exhole. I said No, he hasn't said anything else, and it's been several days. Maybe he decided to put on his big boy pants and act like a real Daddy should.DH says did you get my email? Ummm yeah.Well, I sent it to him too.WTF????
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I need a drink.Tell me I'm not having a fucking mental breakdown.
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Oh shit! Well maybe it was time. Exhole probably does have the right to know even though he will probably just blame it on ur dh or u somehow. Lol ur dh didn't think to mention that little tidbit sooner? I can't believe u haven't heard from them yet. Maybe they killed each other.~slim shady~
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o o; <<<<<<<<< That's a shocked face0Kudos to your hubby though, he's got some balls!!!!
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@Shadylane he already knew. We both told him. I forwarded the texts AND the nude photos to him and told him his whore needed to stop trying to fuck my husband, That I had known about it from the very first message, and we were laughing at her, but it had gotten to the point where I thought HE needed to know, because she was trying to set up a rendezvous at a motel with him just one day after X had BOUGHT HER ENGAGEMENT RING.I can't stand the bastard, but even I'm not that cold. He needed to know!
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@Four_Winds in fairness, no he didn't. I was a church going, mud riding, deer hunting, sweet little submissive southern wife.WHEN I WAS FUCKING 18.And then I grew up and into my own, and his ass never left the woods.
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Amazing!
Your DH got balls and so do you, @Love and I think it's kick ass.
I agree with your DH too - Exhole is freaking about a pink streak of hair when all this other crap is going on? He needs a reality check - a BIG one.
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Holy mackerel, Andy. (As my mother would say). Have that drink, @Love. Have one for me, too. Yikes!"The most essential gift for a good writer is a built-in, shock-proof bullshit detector.” - Ernest Hemingway
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@I_am_a_thunderbird LOL Right?? And now I know why I haven't heard from him this week LOLThanks you guys, I just having a minor major meltdown right now.Dealing with them both being local pd, and this being a REALLY small town, it's just a huge shitstorm.
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Just FYI those men mentioned in DH's email are cops too. Married ones. In the same town. The same very fucking small town.
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OMG Your hubs needs a wheel barrel for his balls. Seriously. I know this is going to cause you a shit storm but in all honesty I think it kinda rocks that he did it. It sucks he didnt tell you at first but that dick rag needed to be put in her place.
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I'm with @monstermom on that one. I mean, why is he even still with her? I don't get it.
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@Love, I can understand why you are having a meltdown over this. As it will undoubtedly cause some drama that you don't need, and you are stuck in the middle as the mediator, because of your kids. It's a rough road to travel, trying to maintain some semblance of peace for your kids, but wanting to strangle the bastard at the same time. I think, in a way, that Eric sending him that email was a good thing. A reminder of just who he is living with and allowing to talk to his children in such a degrading manner. I just think that he should have told you sooner. At least he told you BEFORE your ex-hole contacted you again...otherwise you would have been like 'WTF is going on here?!' LOL.So, ummm, now what? After you have that drink, are you going to just see how things play out? When do the kids see him next?
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@TypoFaery I agree. With every word.@Monstermom and @I_am_a_thunderbird (your handle is a PITA btw lol)*sigh* It's like this: Her DD's bio dad is a huge secret. But it's one of those secrets that everyone knows, you know? The Sheriff. The married sheriff. The married sheriff whose wife has no clue.The Sheriff who has XH's balls in a sling over his job.I heard via her sister, who hates her, that he tried to break up with her once. She told him "You don't decide when this is over. I decide when this is over."He pisses her off, she makes sure he loses his job. (That goes for xh AND the sheriff)Simple as that.And...he's a dumbass. There's always that.
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And...holy balls man, that little police department is corrupt. Everybody sleeping with everyone, prostitution, nude pics. These are the people who 'protect and serve'? Yikes.
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Maybe its a shitstorm that needed to come and go so everyone can iron the shit out and move on? But seriously, @Love you DH is awsome sauce in my book...that email plus the waxing...pure awsomenessIm pretty extraordinary in an ordinary way
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Maybe she's not as stupid as I assumed! Just an evil whore.~slim shady~
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@Shadylane That, I can't answer, because I didn't tell him that part before. I thought the rest would be enough. Apparently it wasn't.@Sammie Next? Next I'm going to go pretend like this never happened for the rest of the weekend, and enjoy DH being home on extended leave (a whole week!)... and then... I don't know. They go to him next weekend. But he never, and I mean NEVER, says anything to my face. All our disagreements happen via text or email. In person, we are as civil as old high school classmates.I don't know that X knows that I know about DH sending the email. I think I won't bring it up unless he does. Any suggestions are appreciated !
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Yeah I would pretend like I had no idea. After all u really didn't know until today.~slim shady~
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@Love, that's probably a good idea. Enjoy family time with your husband...and whatever happens, happens. I was thinking he WOULD bring it up when he picked up the kids, but if that's not his style, then I'd just ride the wave and see what happened. I'd say pretend like you didn't know, but go back and look at that email that Eric sent. Does it show both of your addresses anywhere? I know you'd probably have noticed, but check just in case. Otherwise, the playing 'I had no clue' gig might not work out well. LOL.If it is all information that Ex already knew, then there's really not much to say. Eric was bringing it up to show just how hypocritical and stupid she is for saying those things about YOUR kids when she's got plenty of 'trash' in her not-so-secret closet. Maybe it was one of those 'point taken' types of moments. Of course your Ex would never admit that, but if he attempted to defend her, he would look even more dumb. So...maybe he will let it lie as well. Maybe Eric did everyone a big favor. Good job!
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I just don't understand how anyone could talk to a child that way. It kind of breaks my heart, because I can't imagine ever saying anything like that to a child. Not ever.
If it was me, I likely woulda went all Warrior on her ass and bitch-slapped her. Not that it would solve anything, but woulda made me feel a whole lot better!
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That was my first reaction too. Luckily it hasn't been that long since I was at the jail, and I definitely remembered how distasteful that is LOL Also, my DH is deployed, so even if I could have gotten someone to post bail for me, cps would have picked up the kids and taken them to said asshole and his slut puppy, thus defeating the purpose and giving THEM the satisfaction...It's a stiff penalty for assaulting a police officer, even off duty.That has saved her ass and his many many times over the last year or two.
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Oh that's not even fair!However, I love your husband @Love. If you ever want to trade models....*nudge nudge*J/k! :PSee ya in another life, sister!
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LOL He's definitely getting a prize when he gets home @Curious!I've been thinking about it the last couple hours, and although I wish he'd told me when he did it, instead of days later, I'm glad he was pissed enough on Grace's behalf to make his feelings known to exhole in no uncertain manner LOL
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Sometimes I think that that's the best part about men. They are there to protect. And even if it's over the top sometimes, that's ok too.See ya in another life, sister!
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He is definitely the he-man chest-beating breed!
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The craziest time my man had a 'protect the woman' moment? There was a cracked out, bitter, rejected chick in the bar one night. She was sweet at first, and then she got laughed at by her would-be lover. In front of massive numbers of people. So she started throwing beer mugs....it was fantastic! She cleared a whole table of glasses and bottles, luckily no one got hurt. But she was psychotic. The waitresses were literally cowering in the hallway. Anyway, she left. And things calmed down, got cleaned up, etc. An hour later, someone said, She's coming back! So I went outside and stood on the step, and yeah....she's coming across the parking lot from the motel where she was staying. With a 60 of vodka in her hand, and weaving. So she comes up to the door, and I say, You can't come in. She's like what? I say, You...Can't....Come....In. She's like......what? So I pull her Ipod bud out of her ear, and say: You can't come in! She's like, who are you? I'm like, I'm me....the one telling you that you can't come in. She jitters for a second, and then bam! Fist hits my cheek and sends my glasses flying. I'm like...ok. So I take the bottle out of her hand....no point in doing real damage. She must have hit me again, because later I found a few sore spots, but she's not hurting me, I'm in that state of, what? Ok. The people outside of course, clear a space for us to fight, but really. I'm not a fighter. I'll do what I have to do, but I'm not hitting nobody, nohow. I *will* make you do what I want you to do, but, I'm not going to hit you. Someone off of her work crew grabs her, arms and legs flying, and I prepare myself. Then my husband comes flying out of the kitchen side door, and at the same time, the person holding her lets her go. She comes at me, and my husband hits her like a ton of bricks! They both go down, him on top, and he just starts screaming at her. "You're gonna hit my wife? You dirty.....bad word bad word bad word....I'm gonna feed you to my DOG!" Someone pulls him off, I'm just in....shock and awe really. And her crew member hauls her off back to her motel room. It was frigging epic! One of my waitresses was almost in tears at the he-man qualities my dear hubs exhibited that night! Lol. Me, I'm like....seriously? That was hilarious!She ended up getting fired, and the police were called. Not by us, but by someone.See ya in another life, sister!
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@love---they are NUTS. if anyone i was involved with spoke to my kid like that, i would beat their ass as the break-up.
and if exhole paid for a haircut, maybe he could have a say. but he doesn't. give your little girl the "fuckers don't count" speech----obviously, some word substitution is in order, but same sentiment. grown-ups don't know everything, and respect is a two-way street. even with adults/children. i am wishing them flat tires, and hope the metal-eating termites have his trailer for LUNCH.
the truth has arrived...
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From the Confessional
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i passed out from the pain of pooping this weekend, came to laying on the bathroom floor with my jammie pants at my knees, things in the tub that were on the edge and a headach from hitting the tub apparently
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All the money and love in the world isn't worth the way I get treated at home. I am considering leaving and finding a cheap apt for me and dd7. It won't be easy, but it will be better for the two of us than this is!
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I made a pair of makeshift panties by cutting the legs off of a pair of pantyhose and sticking a panty liner in the crotch area. And im actually proud of how well it worked.
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Totally have the hots for the new head of security at my office. We flirt & it is such a turn on, that even night DH and I have been getting it on. DH is pumped that he is getting more, but I think he is starting to suspect.
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