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I would love to hear more from mistresses
  • raspychick
    Posts: 27Member
    Im not here to judge or fit in to a click. J
  • raspychick
    Posts: 27Member
    Oops didn't mean to pOst yet...I've been cheated on and am trying to work thru the pain. My brain is weird so I'm just interested on what it's like to be on the other side?? Do enlighten. I don't care who u r. Post anonymously if u wish. Fine by me:). XO
  • battibatti
    Posts: 2,164Member
    I'm curious about this too.. like you said, @raspychick no judgements here! I love your theses BTW :)

    SMSM_s_5

  • battibatti
    Posts: 2,164Member
    Threads*** I meant, not theses lol

    SMSM_s_5

  • ChibikoChibiko
    Posts: 2,799Member
    Maybe if you asked questions then we would know what you want to know.
    U R who U think U R

    "You were the truth I would rather lose than to have never lain beside at all"
  • PuffalumpPuffalump
    Posts: 220Member
    I've never been a mistress.  But my dad used to have affairs all the time (I've talked to his mistresses, believe it or not) and I've also been cheated on before.  From what I gather, I think that some mistresses are truly malicious people who are just doing it to ruin a relationship.  But I've come across a lot of them who are really are just jaded, oblivious people who believe that he "loves her more than his wife and will leave her" or something like that.  Now don't get me wrong, if my husband had an affair I wouldn't tell the woman, "I understand, you're just jaded."  Haha hell no!  Because at the end of the day, what they're doing is still so so so wrong.  I'm just saying.

    Has anyone seen that show on Discovery Fit & Health called "Secretly Pregnant"?  This woman was pregnant with her SECOND child by a man who had a wife and 3 kids.  She has like an 18 month old with one on the way, living by herself on a RNs salary in NYC.  She swore up and down that this man still loved her, even though he stayed with his wife and cut her off and left her to be a single mom.  Yet she swore up and down that he was still in love.

    Anyway, I'd love to hear more from the mistresses.  And @chibiko you said we should ask question so here's mine:  I'm curious to now how you managed to be with a man even knowing that he was married?  Did he lie to you?  Did he tell you he would leave his wife?  Were the feelings just too strong??
  • jennibee
    Posts: 3Member
    I totally just made a throwaway account for this, but I'll fess up and admit to being the mistress.  I was really young, only 20 and it lasted for about a year.  I knew the other woman and liked her a lot.  I really looked up to her (they were about 10 years older).  Her husband and I started hanging out really innocently, he would give me drives about two hours away where I had to go for courses once in a while.  I guess the flirting was really fun and I honestly thought it would go no further.  When it escalated, I just kind of went with it.  It was like trying to see how far I could push things and suddenly it just went too far.  For a while it was really fun and secretive and sexy.  It was that type of drama that young girls feed off of.  I stopped hanging around with the wife, obviously.  Eventually I sort of snapped out of it and realized that this wasn't some joke but someone's life.  I ended it and was really heartbroken, because at the time I seriously thought I was in love with him.  Looking back it's the one thing I regret more than anything.  I don't know if she ever found out.  I thought about telling her, but it wasn't really my place, and I was scared.  Although I thought he was so cool then, I realize now that he was a friggin arrogant idiot and his wife certainly deserved WAY better.
    It is something that I would NEVER EVER do again under any circumstances.  For any of you dealing with this, I am so sorry.
  • jennibee
    Posts: 3Member
    Also, just to add, @raspychick, don't waste your time thinking about the other woman.  She honestly probably meant nothing.  That took a long time for me to realize; it all had nothing to do with me.  His cheating was about issues in his own marriage or his own internal insecurities or whatnot.  I probably could have been anyone.

  • [Deleted User]
    Posts: 1,101
    @raspychick I have not been on either side of this situation.  Wanted to give you (BIG HUGS)  Hope folks fess up to give you some understanding that you are seeking here.  By working through the pain hopefully you can begin to heal.   
  • ashamed
    Posts: 2Member
     I started sleeping with my married boss after my husband left me for another woman.  It was a totally misguided fucked up and rotten way of dealing with things, but it's what I did.  I am not proud, I hate myself daily for this.  It lasted about 6 months.  Then I started another affari with a married guy but this time I did not know that he was married when we first hooked up.  I did find out and continue the affair, though.  I offer no explanations or excuses other than it was a really low time in my life.  I know that is not justification but I am just being truthful.  I have been seeing a shrink to help me get over my self loathing for the last couple years.  I would never do it again.  I feel absolutely awful.  It's fucked me up in ways for example I dont think i deserve true love. If someone ever cheated on me, I could not get mad.  I believe in karma unfortunately.
    I never wanted to break these marriages up and they are still together.  I did not want that man for my own, I would never date a man that I knew was a cheater.  For me, it was nothing more than sex and seriuosly misguided revenge.
    I do have to agree with the above poster when she says that you shouldnt spend your time thinking about the other woman.  More often than not, we are merely a vessel for them to stick their dicks in.  She is absolutely right, we could have been anyone.  A man who wants to cheat will find a way.

    And again, I am so incredibly sorry for any of you dealing with this.  I tend to take a no regrets approach to life, but this is the exception.
  • ChibikoChibiko
    Posts: 2,799Member
    Bumping this so I can reply anon
    U R who U think U R

    "You were the truth I would rather lose than to have never lain beside at all"
  • Red
    Posts: 28Member
    @ItsMyParty I'll try to answer your questions the best that I can. 

    " I'm curious to now how you managed to be with a man even knowing that
    he was married?  Did he lie to you?  Did he tell you he would leave his
    wife?  Were the feelings just too strong??"

    I've been with 2 married men and 2 men that had serious girlfriends. I am married.  I've been married for 9.5 years.  I will refer to the guys by their roster number.  It's easier for me to keep track of who I'm talking about.  1-6 don't count as they happened before I was married and they were all single.

    #7.  He's married with 2 kids.  It started out as friendly texting.  I met him through my bff.  They work together.  He is 2 years younger than me.  I've met and I actually like his wife.  We are facebook friends.  He's the one that "broke" me into the world of cheating.  Before him I'd never really contemplated it.  The fact that he is married never bothered me.  I'm married too.  We both were taking the same amount of risk.  There were never any illusions that we would leave our spouses for each other.  We were never in love with each other.  Just in lust.  I ended it because the sex became boring.  If I wanted boring sex I would've just had sex with DH.

    #8.  He had a serious girlfriend.  I met him at a rock concert.  The attraction was VERY strong.  That night we knew we would be together.  He is 4 years younger than me.  Once again there was never any illusions that he would leave his GF.  It was about sex at that time.  We broke if off kinda (I say kinda 'cause we still talk every day and have become very good friends) because he graduated from college and moved away.

    #9.  He is married.  He is 3 years younger than me.  He's the one that burned me.  I fell for him.  He would tell me that he loved me.  He would say that we were making love not having sex.  He did lie to me.  He lied a lot.  And I took it hook, line and sinker.  We broke it off 'cause due to external circumstances his wife found out.  I did have a honest conversation with her.  I don't know if it helped her or not, but I answered her questions.  He was my longest term affair. 

    #10.  He is not married.  He is 6 years younger than me. 

    #11.  He has a serious GF.  I met him at the same concert where I met #8.  He is 4 years younger than me.  He's really good friends with #8.  He has been and still is my BFF since that night we met.  I have mentioned him on here several times.  I'd follow him anywhere.  He's never lied to me.  We've always been extremely honest with each other.  I'm friends with his family.  He's the only one that has ever met my kids.  

    Does this help?  I'm in a different situation 'cause I'm married too.  I have no designs on leaving my DH at this time.  My DH has NO clue what I've been up to.  The shit would majorly hit the fan if he did.  This is the first time I've ever spoken publicly about my affairs, hence I made this throw away account.  Please feel free to ask me questions.  I'll check back as often as I can.

    And to answer one question you didn't ask...Why?  Why do I do it?  Part of it is that I'm not 100% happy in my marriage.  That still doesn't make it right and I don't try to justify my actions.  I do it for the excitement.  I like the rush of getting a new lover.  I like being woo'ed.  I like being courted.  And I like younger men, as all of them have been.  It makes me feel sexy and like I've still got it.  It's quite the confidence boost.


  • raspychick
    Posts: 27Member
    Man can't wait to get home and curl up and read and think of any remaining questions. Thanks everyone who is willing to try to shed some light on this mess I'm living:(
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,314
    I
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,314
    my bf X would say that I am "the other women" even though she walked out on him for talking to me. he's a quiet man who doesn't like to open up but he did to me and long story short i believe she thought by walking out that night he'd see how miserable life was without her and beg for her to come back. he didn't some time later i moved to his city and moved in with him. she didn't take the time to ask what was going on. i did, we were friends had never been intimate in any fashion but we fell for each other and where together now but even though we had distance and only talked she says he cheated. idk its perspective i guess... hope this post even makes sense lol!
  • raspychick
    Posts: 27Member
    Hmmm. Kinda sounds like she just didn't bother to ask if I'm understanding right. I've learned to ASSUME NOTHING:/.
  • ChibikoChibiko
    Posts: 2,799Member
    @raspychick Are the posts helping you or hurting you?
    U R who U think U R

    "You were the truth I would rather lose than to have never lain beside at all"
  • raspychick
    Posts: 27Member
    Okay--full on MISTRESSES QUESTION:
    So I HATE the bitch that has made my life hell for past 9 months. She's not pretty, crap body, smokers teeth, just ick...but she stroked his ego much more than I did seeing as I was at home with our 4 kids and working full time. She is drawing unemployment and all she has to do is drink but she thinks (OR ACTS LIKE SHE THINKS) her shit don't stink. I busted her texting him so I posed as him and she proceeded to tell ME THINKING IT WAS HIM...she loves his penis and he's great in bed. CHA-FUCKING-CHING!! Once I had what I needed I texted her "hey u dumb hoe bag home wrecking whore this is ur BF's WIFE of 13 years and mother of his 4 kids... Needless to say bitch disappeared until I called her enough to where she answered a few days later BUUUTTTTT my question has always bugged me that I'm afraid she honestly thinks SHE IS ABOVE ME BC HER FAT ASS FUCKED MY HUSBAND WHEN HE WAS DRUNK A FEW TIMES... Does she really think he chose her over our life we've spent years making together (technically he did I guess choose to risk it)...but I secretly wonder if she actually feels MORE INFERIOR to her fuckbuddy's wife than she tries to let on. Her husband says she's intimidated but I just wonder are most mistresses intimidated by or feel "above" the real life wives? Make any sense? Really trying for it to. Hope It does cuz I'm do curious about this:(.
  • raspychick
    Posts: 27Member
    @chibiko I am a thinker and will study study study infidelity for oh prob till I write a book on it. That's just how my mind works--if I'm "living something" I must research the hell out of it so DEF THINK THIS WILL HELP ME lay some things to rest that I have constantly questioned. :)
  • ChibikoChibiko
    Posts: 2,799Member
    @raspychick

    The wife is #1.  The mistress is #2.  A mistress that does not understand this is seriously misguided.
    U R who U think U R

    "You were the truth I would rather lose than to have never lain beside at all"
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,314
    I've been the other woman more than once.  I have been in diff situations, I believe I can answer your questions.  I couldn't earlier because I couldn't post on my other computer.  Can you ask the question again?  Are you wondering if the other woman thinks she is superior over you?  Or intimidated?  Is that what you're looking for?  Wondering what the other woman is thinking about you?
  • InsanityandChaosInsanityandChaos
    Posts: 1,924Member
    I was the "other woman" once. I didn't know that I was though, so I don't know if that counts?
  • raspychick
    Posts: 27Member
    This is pure hell. I THOUGHT I had the BEST hubby ever:(. Still can't believe he let this happen to us:(. But YESSSS, that is my question--I feel like she feel superior to me bc my husband risked everything and my sanity/happiness to fuck her fat ass drunk a few times. I guess I'm a "glass half emPty" kinda gal these days:(. So YESSSS....my ADHD brain is trying to ask WHAT DO MISTRESSES THINK/wonder about the wives??
  • raspychick
    Posts: 27Member
    I just really don't know if I can get thru this shit. I can't have sex with him now (in very beginning therapist said I was more less "pissing on my tree" so we had tons of sex)..but now I can't sleep with my husband of 13 years without sobbing a loud, ugly kinda cry! We had great sex before this bullshit. This Sux so hard.:(
  • InsanityandChaosInsanityandChaos
    Posts: 1,924Member
    I'm so sorry you are going through this!!! I can imagine it hurts like hell. The only advice I can give you, is that you need some time to figure out if you can forgive, and move on. Not for him, but for you. You deserve to feel secure in your marriage. Are you only going to couples therapy or on your own as well?
  • raspychick
    Posts: 27Member
    Yea been doing marriage and individual since this shit started.
  • raspychick
    Posts: 27Member
    But it's just a stupid piece of shit roller coaster
  • InsanityandChaosInsanityandChaos
    Posts: 1,924Member
    Oh, and when I was dating a guy who was engaged, I was devastated to find out that I was the other woman. Not because I had feelings for him, I had already broken up with him and moved on. Most likely the things I didn't like about him were because he was in a committed relationship, only I didn't realize it or connect things until after we broke up. He never took me anywhere, just the same place every time. He never took me to his house, always came to mine, and explained it away by saying his roommate was always around. (Yeah, I bet she was, lol) Anyway, When I found out I felt so guilty and dirty, that is the only way I can explain it. So I pretty much figure that if a woman goes into it knowing what is going on, that is pretty messed up. No offense to anyone else, that is just my opinion without knowing other people's reasoning or stories.
  • InsanityandChaosInsanityandChaos
    Posts: 1,924Member
    Oh, I understand. On a roller coaster of my own these days, lol. Not due to cheating, but really, lies are lies and betrayal is betrayal. I am in the same boat of wanting to know if I can be close again, or trust again. And I'm not sure either. I think for me, I feel like such a fool. And I'll be damned if he makes a fool of me again. And just thinking that way can make you obsess about it, to the point where you feel like you are going crazy. I'm glad you are seeing someone for yourself, to focus on you and your feelings. Hopefully with the therapist's help you can come to terms with what has happened and make a move from there. Whether it's on your own, or rebuilding your relationship with him. Either way you are going to be just fine. I promise, it'll be ok even though you are devastated now. Big big hugs!!!
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,314
    Ok, I'm gonna share my experience anonymously. I'd like to preface it with this though: I am not proud and would take it back if I could. I got mine though, and I deserved it.

    I started this job, and met this guy. He was everything I'd ever dreamed of at that point (or so I thought). He said he was unhappy in his marriage and I just wanted sex. I didn't intend on anything more (as if that isn't bad enough with a married man). I thought "she'll never find out, and it's just sex, not a relationship." Then we started talking frequently, and he started to tell me he was in love with me. AND I fell for it. And I fell for him. He kept saying we belonged together, and he'd leave "when the time was right." He even introduced me to friends, and I got to know his sister (she hated the wife, but wouldn't say anything). He had me wrapped up in this fantasy for nearly 3 years. Then I decided I couldn't do it any more. I broke it off, then I wanted him, then I didn't... Then I had a mental break-down. I called a friend and begged her to take me to the hospital. I was seriously losing it. I couldn't understand why if he loved me so much and hated her so much, he would let me be the one who hurt, because she had no idea. I was the one who went to bed crying, and yet he said he loved me, not her. WOW, did I feel stupid when I came to realize he was the biggest piece of shit on earth, which can be the only reason for dragging someone down line that. My friend sat with me and talked me through the night, but it took a LONG time to be ok again.

    I deserved what I got. She never found out, and I'd deny it to my death bed, because she doesn't deserve the pain that comes along. She also doesn't deserve him as a husband, she deserves better, but I'm sure that will happen for her.

    *for the record, no, kids were not involved.
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,314
    saw these on the confessions...

    I'm questioning the reason that the
    woman started the "mistress" thread.. Im not sure what she's trying to
    figure out but I don't believe her at all!

    I was too! I feel like she's
    looking for tips on how to cheat on her dh.. She also started one about
    affairs and cyber relationships.

    Im not sure if i disagree



  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,314
    One of the best pieces of advice I ever got came from the "other woman" after I fucked with her a while (set up fake dates n such) I finally got on the phone with her and she point blank told me. It will take time to get over it but don't waste your energy on me, use it to fix your marriage. He picked YOU he stayed with YOU he is yours forever, I was just a warm body when you weren't available. 
    damn bitch
    she was right :) 

  • sanityseekersanityseeker
    Posts: 2,466Member
    ok im having SM issues tonight it keeps signing me out and then back in....^^^ me :) 
    Biting's excellent. It's like kissing. Only there's a winner.
    "Dobby never meant to kill! Dobby only meant to maim or seriously injure.” -Dobby
    Genealogy: Where you confuse the dead and irritate the living.
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,314
    I am going through the suvival now. We decided to stay together. No, I DECIDED to take him back.

    To the mistresses who knowingly go into a relationship hoping that he will leave his wife for you: STOP. it is one of the shittiest things you can do to another woman. Especially if there are children involved.

    Maybe I'm saying this because I nearly left my marriage because of his affair. Its just crappy and devastating and painful. And I've never hated anyone until now. Yes, I hate her. T the point where I wish she would die a horrible death.

    To the OC - it hurts, and it lingers. Doubts pop up when you don't want it to. But you know what? He is with you, as mine is with me. They screwed up. I may be the stupidest wife in the world, or extremely naive, but I was willing to forgive and believe him when he said he messed up, that he really wanted to come back to me for good. It pains me still when I put two and two together and finalize realize why thing were the way they were, and that I wasn't really becoming paranoid. But I'm beginning to let it go. It'll take time. I dont know how long, as I am not seeing a therapist (he is tho). But I will get past it. Hope you will, too.

    Sorry, this isn't exactly what you were seeking... I just had to say my piece.
  • sanityseekersanityseeker
    Posts: 2,466Member
    its been almost 14 years for us, there are still times when the memories  hurt...a LOT, but its been worth it 
    Biting's excellent. It's like kissing. Only there's a winner.
    "Dobby never meant to kill! Dobby only meant to maim or seriously injure.” -Dobby
    Genealogy: Where you confuse the dead and irritate the living.
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,314
    Let me say that I am here to tell you that yes in my case I do think I'm superior in ways to the man's gf.. only because I know her. I was her friend before his only I've known him longer. I went to hs with his sister but he was away in the army at that time. I reconnected with him again when our kids played sports together. We hit it off and slowly he built our friendship up until he finally asked me what I would do if he asked me to sleep with him. I said no at first but then slowly we started having secret meetings. Just to talk at first then slowly moved on to bigger things. First time I met him for sex was the scarest thing ever.  His wife and my dh trusted us both completely. He drove me places (sometimes literally lol) and I've spent many a night in his bed and his gf knew (my dh and i had had a falling out and he was mia at this time)... Dh and I got back together and I tried to end it with the affair but he's like a drug and I'm addicted. 

    Several times over the years I've tried to end it but 1. the sex is amazing and I'm completely satisfied (and i know his gf isn't cuz she still tells me he sucks) 2. I do love him. He says he loves me but I don't always believe him. 3. like i said before he's the drug and i'm addicted.

    Can I also add that a lot of women cheat with whoever simply because something is lacking at home. Not enough attention/affection from their bf/dh and in my case that was why I cheated. This man gives me the attention and affection that I want from dh but don't get. 

    I know this is of no comfort to you but I've learned from my dh cheating that its different for men than women. Men cheat to prove they still got it. Women cheat to get what's lacking as I said above. My dh and the people I know that have cheated have confirmed this. Men don't cheat just because.. there's usually a reason. It doesn't mean you did anything wrong .. some men are just dogs who can't or won't grow up and settle down and want to keep having cake and eat it too. 
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,314
    @sanity seeker.. That's exactly it for some men. 

    I am the warm body when your's isn't available.

    I feel like total shit when I go to a man's house or wherever and he fucks me and tells me he loves me then goes home to YOU (the wife) and ignores me. But I need that affection and attention too :(
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,314
    Yup!  I agree with the confessions.. This woman is looking for tips on how to cheat and not get caught. 
  • CrashCrash
    Posts: 8,522Member
    Then start your own React to Confessions thread, and don't hijack this one.
    See ya in another life, sister!
  • sanityseekersanityseeker
    Posts: 2,466Member
    everyone needs it, and its unfair and shitty of men to make the "other woman" feel that way, but as women we eat it up. 
    but
    its also unfair and shitty of some women to tell men how much better they are, how they "understand" him better, how they would never ignore him for any reason blah blah blah 
    the game is played both ways and it sucks for everyone involved....wife husband children and the other woman :( 
    Biting's excellent. It's like kissing. Only there's a winner.
    "Dobby never meant to kill! Dobby only meant to maim or seriously injure.” -Dobby
    Genealogy: Where you confuse the dead and irritate the living.
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,314
    I agree and at times I do feel bad however.. My dh has no idea and the gf has no idea and only his oldest child knows what is going on. His oldest child hates his gf (not his mom) and would do anything to split the two except rat out his dad or I.  I am completely ashamed at times and feel stupid and swear I'll never do it again but then he calls/texts/facebooks me or whatever and I get sucked back in. I suppose I'd have to move a million miles away to completely get away or get caught. I'm not going to risk ruining that many lives by getting caught although I have come close. I do not see him near as much as I did in the beginning but its still fun and I still get butterflies when I know I'm going to see him. 
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,314
    @curious settle down! no one is hijacking anything. i was just agreeing with another post.
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,314
    For the record I am NOT the anon who thinks the OC is lying. I totally believe her. She never asked when or how I meet up with my affair. She never asked how I do NOT get caught. She never asked specifics about any of that. In all honesty I feel bad for her. I've been cheated on and that is why I do NOT feel bad for my dh.
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,314
    Of course she didn't ask for specifics! she doesn't want to look bad. she doesnt want people to know that she wants to do this so she's not going to come right out and ask "how do I cheat on my husband?"
  • sanityseekersanityseeker
    Posts: 2,466Member
    All I see is someone asking to see things from the other side of the fence. How often can you get that perspective? 
    Biting's excellent. It's like kissing. Only there's a winner.
    "Dobby never meant to kill! Dobby only meant to maim or seriously injure.” -Dobby
    Genealogy: Where you confuse the dead and irritate the living.
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,314
    hey other anon.. yeah you the jerk.. there is ALREADY a thread on how to cheat on your spouse and even if she HAD asked that question I still would have answered. I know the reasons why women cheat. I've been there. Grow up and go home.
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,314
    WOW!  You need to settle down too.. funny how you call me a jerk and tell ME to grow up all in one post.. I'm sorry I have a different opinion on the thread than you do.. why is that wrong?
  • raspychick
    Posts: 27Member
    Hahaha. Ummm if I really WANTED TO CHEAT ON MY DH I totally wouldn't need to ask HOW;). I've caught him in other little lies via a key logger and have 435 pages of his iPhone texts bound to reference if something isn't adding up....the LAST thing I wanna do is hurt the man I CHOSE to grow old with. But the resentment I CAN'T get rid of IS HURTING HIM as well as Our children. Frankly, I could give a damn what anyone thinks my intentions are. I know I am merely trying to understand HOW such a wonderful spouse could get tangled in such a fucked up mess that began online. Think what u want. I'm just really struggling with this crap I've been dealt and if cheating on him was my plan I'd fucking leave him and go live it up. My family & children too important to run away so soon:(. Thanks so much to all those who UNDERSTAND I'm just trying to "get it" in hopes of taking away some of the pain and anger I'm stuck with at the moment.
  • InsanityandChaosInsanityandChaos
    Posts: 1,924Member
    @Raspychick, Ignore the mean comments. Been a trend lately for some reason. I get it. And the resentment and anger and the need to understand why  are normal I would say. But at the same time you can't torture yourself with trying to understand why he did what he did. He chose to do this not only to you, but to himself and your family for his own selfish reasons. Probably doesn't even know why he did it himself in entirety. You can't figure him out and so you are focusing on the details to try and make sense of it. It's a coping mechanism. At least that is what my therapist tells me, lol. All you can really do is take care of you and try to shield your kids from the backlash. Is he talking to you and trying to work it out? Is he aware of your feelings and resentment and trying to help rebuild things? Because it's not all on your shoulders to do this.
  • TypoFaeryTypoFaery
    Posts: 1,940Member
    @raspychick, dont let the trolls get you. I swear there is a hidden door leading from 4Chan to this place. I can understand wanting to know. The first guy I was ever with was with someone. I didnt know, and when I found out the guy I gave my virginity to was engaged it about killed me. I spent soo much time obsessing and comparing myself to her that it got scary. *hugs* dont let the haters get to you, you are trying to find logic in a sea of emotions, something to latch onto to answer the huge questions of WHY. *more SM hugs*
  • ashamed
    Posts: 2Member
    @raspychick:  I can only speak from my own experience, but I never thought I was "above" the wives.  I'd say I thought I was below.  Jealous of the life they had.
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