Ugly vagina after giving birth?
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    I'm an open book with my friends, but even I can't discuss my ugly vagina with them. Then they would picture it and know that I have an ugly vagina.
    I gave birth 4 months ago to a 9 + pound baby. Everything down there looks terrible. There's a huge chunk of scar tissue that looks like a tongue, and bits of flesh with jagged edges that look like teeth.
    Sorry for the gross description but I HAVE to know if I'm the only one!!!
    I have been feeling super sexy, I lost the 50 pounds of baby weight, but then I looked in a mirror and now I won't ever let my husband go down on me. EVER again!!!!!!!
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    I've never looked at myself down there. Mind you, I'm uber fat, so it probably looks gross down there anymore.
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    Anyway, not anymore.
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    I think my vagina is kind of ugly, but thus far it hasn't affected my sex life. *knock wood*
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    I highly recommend that you check out http://www.the-clitoris.com/ and read some articles. Look at all the pics of lady bits. You will learn that not only are you not alone, you're beautiful. You should celebrate your womanhood. Your vulva, and the fact that you have given birth with it, shouldn't keep you from happiness... You should celebrate your motherhood, and embrace the changes to your body; see them as beautiful, because they are.
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    I love the answer above! Agree completely.

    And let's be honest, men's junk ain't exactly gorgeous to look at either! :)

    Good luck.
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    I can't say that any vagina or penis is attractive. But I bet yours isn't as bad as you think. A lot of times after having a baby women are really hard on themselves. My guess is your guy loves you and your "ugly vagina" even more now. You created life and squeezed what sounds like a massive baby out or your vagina. Be honest with your man that your feeling uncomforable with your lady bits. My guess is he gives you all the encouragement you need to feel sexy down there as well.
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    What makes you think it looks bad? Honestly, I'm not joking! Does it look different than before, or do you just think pictures of other womens' private parts look better?
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    I am seriously doubting your man cares that much about the minute details of your vajayjay post birth. As long as he has access to it and there is no blocked entry.

    I have never ever heard a man say "damn, that's one ugly p*ssy!"

    Lots of comments about some sweet p*ssy etc. But no negatives.

    BTW did you ever study it this hard pre birth? Maybe it didn't change as much as you think.
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    Thanks ladies (and/or gents), and I will check that website out.
    But honestly, it IS ugly. Picture someone sticking out their big fat tongue at you!!! Honestly, the "tongue" practically hangs out!!!!!!! It's spongy and stuff And they DO look like TEETH!!!!

    You are all right about my husband though, he says that he will go down on me whether I like it or not, but I just am not comfortable. Yet. It's all so new, maybe I'll start to like my little friend.

    I have a sense of humour about it at least. I tell DH that this counts as a blowjob every time we have sex because my vag is like a mouth!! LOL I'm off the hook!! And I told him that if he pisses me off my vag will bite his dick off! oh god....
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    And yeah, I've always examined my vagina. I know it better than I know myself!!! It's seriously cut up!!!!!! I don't know how those "teeth" got there...it's where the internal stitches were. I was cut up real bad... 3rd degree tears from clit to asshole! Speaking of assholes...that will never look the same again either!! I think I pushed too hard.
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    I'm telling you, it doesn't sound that bad. My spongy part shows, and my hyemen has parts that look like teeth. You have to find the beautiful things you like about it. Spend time touching yourself. Realize you love the color down there, or how soft your labia are. Something, anything positive, and go from there. I used to hate my vulva too, until I was with someone who told me just how sexy it is (and it is!). Just check the site out that I told you (that goes for the rest of you who don't love your parts too!), and be sure to read a bit :) Remember, you're beautiful.
  • I am so glad you posted this. I just made the same discovery. My vagina looks terrible. I had my child 19 mos ago. I also had a vaginal delivery with a bad tear just south of the clit. I was in denial and didn't want to look at it but when I did I was horrified! It never looked like this. I have talked to my husband and he said he loves it but I can't stop wondering if he is lying. I did notice that it is not loose though...thank god for sparing me on that! I almost wish I would have had a c-section. I guess I just need to deal with it. Maybe plastic surgery? But not sure even that would fix it! I love my husband and maybe even love him more since he can love my vagina in this condition...I just need to make sure I never have to go out on the market again cause I wouldn't want anyone else to see it or have to compete with prettier ones! Thank you for being honest! You are not alone!
  • irishlassirishlass
    Posts: 7,057Member
    read the vagina monologues. Your vaginas are beautiful ladies!!!!!
    "Be who you are and say what you feel. Because those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter." - Dr. Seuss
  • ImWendyImWendy
    Posts: 6,529Member
    Watch some porn. Seriously, most of them are a little strange looking, but it's still beautiful.
    deus ex machina
  • AKimiBAKimiB
    Posts: 1,809Member
    Mine definitely looks different than it did pre-babies... It actually looks exactly as you described yours.
    But, unless your spread eagle lipsspread wide and repeatedly shoving the vagina at your man, he's not going to really notice, and if he does, he really won't care!
    <3<br />Feel good about yourself! You created and delivered life!
    SMSM_s_5 photo SMSM_s_5_zps5d122d86.jpg
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074

    it'll actually heal back. my DD was 9 lbs, 2 oz.  and, vaginas don't all look the same, they're different. those skin splits and stretch mark down there WILL fade, they won't stay bright red like that. if you're really self-concious, you can make your own stretch-mark butter.

    family dollar has little sticks of cocoa butter. nuke it with equal amounts of olive oil and beeswax, stir it, and pour it in something. it keeps forever. if it's too hard, just re-melt it and add a little more olive oil.

    just because your cootchie doesn't look like the ones in playboy (there are pubic hair stylists, make-up artisits for razor bumps, birthmarks, oddly placed moles, etc, plus airbrushing the pics, etc) doesn't mean it's ugly.

  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    i actually had those little teeth-looking skin-things before i had kids. i don't think it's because of the birth. mine went away a couple years ago, though. i don't know what they are.
  • episcopal
    Posts: 1,851Member
    @OP, have you talked to your OB about this?  I've never heard about birth doing damage to genitalia, but I would imagine your doc could do an exam to see if anything is wrong and, if so, recommend a course of treatment.
  • MaryPoppins25
    Posts: 1,667Member
    @episcopal you've never heard of birth doing damage to the genitalia? First it dialates to 10 cm, then an actual human being comes out of it which will likely tear your shit. After that they stitch you up, with my first they didn't do a good job and left a little flap which I had to have removed while they were stitching me up from my second. Pregnancy and birth changes everything about a woman, including (especially) her vagina.
  • episcopal
    Posts: 1,851Member
    @eapple, thank you for enlightening me and putting me in my place!  I should have given my response a bit more thought, especially considering the fact that my wife had an episiotomy.
  • many_moons_ago
    Posts: 338Member
    episcopal said:

    @OP, have you talked to your OB about this?  I've never heard about birth doing damage to genitalia, but I would imagine your doc could do an exam to see if anything is wrong and, if so, recommend a course of treatment.




    You're lucky your wife didn't get damaged then or you haven't noticed. It gets stretched like mad and possibily a hand or some instrament of distraction shoved up it to help get the baby out so of course it's going to be damaged. 

    Mines changed. The colour is slightly different and I tore my labia, it never healed back together so I have a big V shape right at the top next to my pee hole. So I have a 'tongue' as well.

    I'm not worried about it because DH doesn't care about the colour or the tear. It still works the way it always has.

  • MaryPoppins25
    Posts: 1,667Member
    @episcopal no worries, we all need a little tough love now and then c:
  • organicbabyorganicbaby
    Posts: 2,020Member
    It happens to most of us. I actually went to my OB and showed her in detail. She explained that the spongy thing is actually the muscle where the himen attaches. It comes down after giving birth. If you have flaps around the scar it can be removed if if really bugs you. Also, it improves over time and in my case everything moved back up when I started doing regular exercise 2 years after delivery.
    As everybody said, embrace your new self, teeth and all :)
  • InAMinuteInAMinute
    Posts: 117Member
    Thank you so much!! I burst into tears a few days after giving birth because I was convinced I was ruined and DH would never find me attractive. He gave me a big hug and assured me that he's always find me beautiful. Love that man!!
  • Unique_MommaUnique_Momma
    Posts: 469Member
    I was supposed to have an episiotomy when I gave birth to my son because it was something my doctor did to all his patients their first time giving birth. He was a bit slow and my son was tired of playing peekaboo, so I ripped. I still don't know how bad it was, but my mom and DH both said they used 3 pre threaded needles to sew me up. My DS was perfectly healthy and 8 pounds and 10.2 ounces. I'm still not totally comfortable with my lady bits because of the change, but I didn't love the look of them in the first place, lol 
  • MarySunshineMarySunshine
    Posts: 7,953Member
    Am I the only one who hasn't given myself an in depth examination of my post partum vagina? I'm not asking to be a dick, I'm serious. And it's not because I'm prude or grossed out by my V, the thought just never crossed my mind...and everything seems to be working just fine. DH hasn't noticed anything, or at least he's wise enough to keep his observations to himself.
    "I don't poop. I create magic."- ABC

    I'm as sexy as a burp mid-kiss. Watch out!

    For every loser there's one that has to win. So bite your tongue, grit your teeth and grin...
  • Katescrazymom
    Posts: 2,839Member
    @CallieFlower82  Nope, I've got 2 los and haven't gotten out a mirror to have a close look.  I didn't pre kids either.  I did notice it's more purplish then it was before, and around and in the crease between my thighs and body is darker.  Looks almost like a reverse tan.  My dh is also smart enough to keep his mouth shut if he's notice anything. 
  • vanbar
    Posts: 1Member
    All pussy is beautiful