Plus sized Women
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    I am having a really hard time.  I am feeling so horrible about my body , I hate my body soooo much.  When I met my husband i wore a size 10 pants, not small but average.  Now after two kids and only six years later Im a size 20 :(.  I want to cry everytime i look in the mirror.  I know I need to start dieting, and I have done it before and I know how to do it to see results but i have no motivation. Is there any other Plus sized women out there that are feeling this as well?  Maybe we can help motivate each other.  Or just let me know Im not alone please! :(
  • fatchickonabikefatchickonabike
    Posts: 6,590Member

    No, you are not alone. I went clothes shopping on my 42nd birthday and took a hard look at myself in the full-length mirror. I need to make changes, pronto.


    I know exactly what I have to do - I know what a healthy diet looks like and I know what kinds of exercise I need to do - but I've always had trouble putting it all together. I can focus on diet OR exercise, it seems, but both together are a problem.


    I've ordered the PINK Method DVDs (I saw them on Dr Phil). Apparently they do put it all together for you, so I'm hoping that in the new year I'll be able to get myself on track.


    I totally understand how you feel and where you're coming from, although I have been overweight since adolescence. I am currently a size 20/22 and at this point would be thrilled just to get back to a size 14 and be able to shop in the regular sizes again.


    And a word of warning: the full moon is coming up and at least one troll will pop in here to make insulting remarks or post a ridiculous image of a massively fat woman. Don't let it get to you.

    Part of growing up is learning to forgive your parents for being human.
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    Thanks , Im glad to here Im not alone.  When I was pregnant with my last child I had Gestational diabetes, so I was put on a low carb diet.  I was able to stick to it very well ( had to for my baby) and a month after I had my baby I was down 40 pound from what i was pre pregnancy.  But at that point I had a great motivator because I had my baby depending on me.  I have a gym membership and I have in the past been able to get into a routine.  Its seems lately  I keep telling myself "tomorrow, tomorrow I'll start" and then every day turns into tomorrow, lol.
  • fatchickonabikefatchickonabike
    Posts: 6,590Member
    Oh, yeah, been there, too.
    Part of growing up is learning to forgive your parents for being human.
  • GlitterQueen GlitterQueen
    Posts: 2,491Member
    I am 26 and size 18, my husband is a bean poll. Kinda weird. I am uncomfortable with my body sometimes. Other than the weight I am healthy. No heart or cholesterol problems. I do need to loose weight but I am addicted to Dr. Pepper. I have tried diets, different kinds and I don't loose much weight and its over a long period of time. When I met DH in college I had somehow dropped from 220 to 190. I didn't do a damn thing different, maybe walking to class I don't know but i skipped class alot.  When I got my own apartment the weight started coming back. I have heard from a doctor I may have a small thyroid problem. I know my mom does and she is over weight too. Right now after two kids I weight 220
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    the only diet i was able to stay on for a decent amount of time is doing low carb.  It definitly takes a lot of dicipline but results are fast .  Im one of those people that if i dont see result i give up.  Low carb definitly has fast results and its keeps coming off if you stick to it.  But getting started is the hardest thing for me
  • GlitterQueen GlitterQueen
    Posts: 2,491Member
    I can't live without carbs, don't work for me. lol I tried a diet my DH friend told me about,he is a former Army SGT. and was in Iraq. I did it for a month and only lost 5lbs. and my older sister who was dieting at the same time ate in portions and watched calorie intake lost 20lbs. What my family did on Easter was we started a biggest loser thing. Everyone who wanted to participate put in $20. Everyone dieted their own way for a month. At the end of the month the person who lost the most weight by percentage won the pot. My sis won $120  I hate that bitch lol
  • AnonUser37
    Posts: 1,741Member
    Instead of trying a diet, specifically, try eliminating things slowly. When I had to lose the baby weight, fast. I didn't change my entire diet. I slowly cut things out, sugar, chocolate, cream in my coffee, so I could focus on the exercising. I also didn't completely deny myself anything, if I have a really shitty day and I really want a kit kat, I have one. I know the more j deny myself, the more ill pig out later.
    good luck darling!! I hope you find a method that works for you!
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    lol i totally understand.  My sister has always been bigger than me but the last month or so she has somehow been losing weight . She wont say how shes doing it though.  It drives me crazy because I secretly feel competitive about this with her, so i need to get on the ball , lol.
  • Hopey0_0Hopey0_0
    Posts: 169Member
    ur soooo not alone! i was a size 3 before i had DD and now i'm a 12! i gained weight during pregnancy and then gained MORE after wtf! just remember ur beautiful at any size :)
  • primalmommaprimalmomma
    Posts: 1,147Member
    I'm plus size.  I've been plus my whole life.   I found this website over the summer.  The workouts are intense, but they average less than 20 minutes.  http://www.bodyrock.tv/  I hate working out longer than 20 or 30 minutes. 

    I've tired Turbo Jam/Turbo Fire...but I don't do the full hr on them...30 minutes max. 

    we're on the Primal Diet...I like it :)  it's works for us.  we're about 80-90% strict with it. I lost 25 pounds on it.  got preggy and it's funny..the ONLY foods I don't throw up are bad for me foods.  after I deliver next summer I'm going to really make a solid effort to get into a size 12.  at nearly 6 feet tall...size 12 would be pretty ideal for my body.

    I threw my scale away.  Instead I have these jeans.  that's my goal.

    OOOO, you reminded me!!  check out these pages. 

    75 beautiful non photoshopped bellies http://www.xojane.com/fun/gallery/bellies-part-2#5

    My Body Gallery. You can plug in your hgt, wgt, pant/shirt sizes and see
    what other women who are the same size look like...thus giving you a
    more accurate body image.  some people I talked to loved this site, some said it made them feel worse about themselves.  I personally liked it. http://www.mybodygallery.com/


    “I did then what I knew to do. Now that I know better, I do better.” (Maya Angelou)
    http://www.primalmomma.com
  • seamstressJ
    Posts: 724Member
    Myfitnesspal is awesome for keeping your diet & exercise in check. Something about actually seeing calories, exercise, etc in writing/charts seems to make it easier to behave yourself. I use it & lost all the baby weight & then some in about 3 months!
  • ThreeJane
    Posts: 34Member
    One of the biggest things that helped me was cutting out all drinks with sugar...soda, sweet tea, juice and even milk. Water and unsweetened green tea only (or unsweetened black tea, if that's more to your taste). That and eating regularly.

    Yes, I said eating regularly. The problem with crash diets is that they train your body to conserve its calories. If you're only eating 1,000 calories a day, your body will adjust to that and metabolize things accordingly.

    Now here is a useful part but only if you can get past the first part of it. As an anorexic/bulimic IDIOT for a few years (and you never really get over it), one of the things you do is trick your metabolism. Anoorexics take it to the extreme with the 0/3/6/9 philosophy. It goes like this: first day you eat nothing. Next day, 300 calories. Then 600. Then 900. Then back to 0.

    Now those are anorexic numbers and NOT realistic for ANYONE looking for healthy weight loss. However, in the real world, 1200/1400/1600/1800 is realistic. This way, your metabolism doesn't get comfortable with an average level of calories, nor does it get panicked with an unrealistic number. Ever notice when you cut waaay down on what you eat, you lose weight at first and then hit a wall? This is why. It's also why a lot of diets have a "cheat day" built into them. If you don't consume enough calories on a regular basis, your body goes into starvation mode and makes the absolute most of every extra calorie it gets!

    Obviousy, exercise is important too. But you don't have to go to the gym. Stairs, vigorous housework (vacuuming, dusting, jogging with the laundry basket, etc.) all count toward raising your metabolism. Stairs instead of elevator, parking at the end of the row instead of that tempting spot right next to the doors. Bicycling, walking, boogying to belly dance music...if it raises your heart rate 'n makes you sweat, it's good! I snowboard (super high calorie burn) in winter and dirtbike/jetski in summer. Learn a new sport! (I am 40, you are NEVER too old to learn!)

    I have been 113 pounds at my lowest and 215 at my highest. That's size 0 to size 18/20. I am currently a size 4 and keeping it off (although my RockStar addiction doesn't help)

    One thing to remember is there is a healthy weight and there is an unrealistic weight. Oh, and throw away the fucking scale! Go by how your clothes fit! If you MUST weigh yourself, do it ONCE A WEEK, not every day. We can fluctuate 5-7 pounds in a day from water retention, altitude differential, salt intake, etc.

    Also remember that we can't all look like Kate Moss, Victoria Beckham, Angelina Jolie, or Kate Hudson. Nor should we want to! A confident attitude and interesting personality are FAR more interesting than a great body. (And most incredibly beautiful women are incredibly vain, self-obsessed and boring. Most, not all!)

    Good luck and I hope this long-winded post helps.
  • GritsGrits
    Posts: 4,370Member
    Ten years ago I wore a size 12. I was pretty comfortable at that size. Then I started to gain weight and have over those ten years added over 100 lbs. of weight. I am sick about it. I went to the gym a couple of years ago, and it was working! I lost 22 lbs in the first month. When I saw the weight coming off, I was able to stick to a high protein, low carb diet, and in another month I had lost another 16 lbs. Then DH lost his job and the gym membership was one of the first things that had to go. I got depressed and gave up. Now the weight has returned and then some, and I am determined that after my third child is born, I am going to lose the weight. My biggest fear is that I will have a lot of extra skin when I finally do, but that is a bridge that will have to be crossed when I get there.
    "I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day, and I believe in miracles." ~Audrey Hepburn
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    After I had my son, I dropped all the baby weight and more, thanks to breastfeeding.  Seriously, I didn't have to do anything else to lose weight.  Then, at 15 months, he decided he was done nursing.  I gained 20 pounds in three months.  Nothing worked to lose the weight.  It was so frustrating! 

    My take-away lesson: breastfeed forever and ever.
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    @mynahbird: EXACTLY!  A diet won't work. it is not sustainable. It has to be a life style change!
    I started out as a tight size 18, loose 20.  I smoked and didn't take care of myself. One day I decided to go on a walk. I started with a nice slow 3 mile walk with my daughter in her stroller. After a bit I went faster, and longer. I got up to running 7 miles a day. During that time, I changed how I was eating. I ate more lean protein, veggies, and I stopped drinking soda.  Took me a while, but I was able to switch to diet soda (don't drink that much), no sugar in my coffee, and brown rice and pastas.
    It takes time. Don't be too hard on yourself. If you don't want to workout outside, then do a dvd.  I do Jillian Micheals.  Aim for 3 times a week and work up to 5 times a week. 
    Don't make drastic changes right away. Allow yourself a treat. But most of all, do it only if YOU want to. Don't do it because someone says you have too. Don't do it because you saw an ad or some man said so.  Do it for you!
    Oh, btw, I have kept the weight off for almost 3 years. I am between a size 1 and 2. But that is my choice to be this size, not anybody elses. 
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    OMG, no you are not alone.  I totally could've written that post!  My husband and I argue about it frequently because he says that I look beautiful and I try to explain to him that it is hard to change what I see in the mirror compared to what he sees.  I have 5 children and you'd think it would be easy keeping weight off as much as I chase after them!  I'm like you though, I desperately want to change, but finding the motivation to stick with any kind of diet or fitness regimen is difficult.  I'm not making it a New Year's resolution, but I'm determined to change some things in my life so I can see myself as others see me. 

    I hope things start looking up for you and that you can (like me) find the motivation to do what you want/have to do.  Just remember, you are NOT alone, and others are going through the exact same thing.   :)
  • AnonUser29
    Posts: 1,157Guest
    So not alone. I am in the same position as you are. When I met DH I was 18, had perky boobs and was a size 8. Now, I am 29, gravity is taking effect, and I am a size 20 (down from a 24). I have struggled with weight loss for years but I think it goes back to have a supporting partner and a willingness to lose weight. With me, until recently, neither was there. My husband would ridicule my weight, even withholding sex because I was "unattractive" to him. I ate more because I was depressed. Today, I have lost a little weight, but not as much as I would like. I continue to work towards losing weight, it's a slow process but I feel tons better. Long story short, don't get yourself down, be confidant about yourself and I am willing to bet that you will be willing to work towards a goal that you set for yourself!
  • SaraSara
    Posts: 1,064Member

    @silentscreamer, withholding sex because you were "unattractive" to him?? That is horrible. I can't imagine what that did to your self confidence.

    I am taking steroids for Crohns and they cause weight gain that I can't even bother to fight. I am a snug 18 and my last weigh in at the DR was 203lbs. I would like to lose a little weight but would be afraid to go back to a size 10. So far whenever I have lost weight I don't lose my boobs. I would hate to be a size 10 with 36F boobs. At least now I am may be a chunky monkey but people don't treat me like I am stupid or that I don't exist from the neck up. I am comfortable and happy at a 12/14.

    Think of your problems as challenges to overcome not obstacles to be avoided.
  • VTmommy2
    Posts: 4Member
    I did the hcg diet. All diets take willpower but this one gives you fast results which made me stick with it. It also totally curbed my sugar cravings. There are nay-sayers out there but it worked for me. I was sick of being a size 16. The best part is it resets your hypothalamus so you maintain a new set weight. You know that annoying weight you float around no matter how hard you try! Anyway, it has been 9 months and I have been able to maintain a 40 lb weight loss for the first time in 15 years. When I have a bad weekend (or week) I just have a day that I eat really healthy and I am back on track. It is only 21-30 days.....you can do anything for 3 weeks. I did it twice and lost 20 each round. I am starting round 3 to lose my last 20 with a group of 10 women in January.
  • AnonMomAnonMom
    Posts: 2,410Member
    image

    A little funny for this morning.....I too am needing to lose weight.  I want my toned calves back.  And while we're on the subject of back, that fat is more than welcome to leave as well.  All I know is I have a closet full of clothes that would look great on me if the buttons weren't popping and the zippers would close.

    I know where my problem lies.  A very large portion of it is medical.  I have MS and strenuous activity (or not so strenuous activity!) wipes my happy ass out for a week+.  I feel like it's not worth it when I am barely able to function enough to do my Mommy/Wife duties.  BUT!!  Something has to give.  I MUST lose this weight.
  • VTmommy2
    Posts: 4Member
    Forgot to post the site www.liquidhcgdiet.com
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    I was just where you are last year this time, and a few girlfriends were talking about joining a gym. Not my thing, but I sucked it up, knowing there were others i could rely on to get my ass in gear. We worked out regularly 3 times a week, 30 mins of cardio (elliptical/bike/whatever, at your own pace) then 20 minutes of weight training. Weights really work to help you tone up and drop pounds, I found. On days I wasn;t at the gym, I'd do SOMETHING physical, like walk, or skate or swim.

    My challenge was the food part, too, cuz I LOVE to eat. Well, everything except breakfast. So I forced myself to eat something (banana, yogurt, something) before working out, then an egg or something after. Other posters said it, and I agree. Eat smaller, more often. And think that every bite you  put in, you have to burn off...helps!!

    This regime worked until June, when I had lost 20 lbs and felt FABULOUS!!! Mind you , I still weighed 180, but after dropping a size in clothes, I just felt healthy. Then, boom, pregnant! (The two may be linked, lol)
    There goes the fitness plan, I was too sick for the first 5 months to walk. Hopefully once the baby comes and I recover I'll be back on track.

    You are not alone! Best wishes to finding small changes that work for you, and lead to big results!  
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    @VTmommy2 - ok so you've got me interested.  I actually saw a thing of that HCG liquid in the store about a month ago and almost bought it, but is it really legit?  I am totally willing to invest in it if it works, I just have had so many bad experiences with diet pills that just dont work.  What kind of food do you eat on this diet?
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    I am in the same boat :( When I met my husband almost 16 years ago I was a size 8-10 and also only 16yrs old. SO 16yrs and  3 kids later I am a size 24 and I hate it! Every new year I promise myself I will go on a diet and loose all of this weight that is holding me down. I can no longer say it's baby weight. My baby will be 4 next year! I'm no good at counting calories and definitely cannot afford those crazy expensive diets. I wish I could find something that really works for me.
  • trishacaroltrishacarol
    Posts: 45Member
    Before i had my son i was THE skinniest i have been since i was little. I wasn't planning the pregnancy and although i was happy with the news i was discouraged about gaining the baby weight. I went WAY overboard and took the baby as an excuse to eat whatever. I didn't even reach my heaviest i have been while pregnant despite that fact that i gained almost 60 lbs. After having the baby i have promised my BF that i will loose the weight and get back to what i was prior. He was my high school sweet heart and we recently reconnected and he wants me to be what i was in high school. I KNOW i need to be back there myself. It is what makes me the happiest and is obviously also the healthiest for me too. I do not believe in diets, when do they ever work? I think that eating healthy and watching your portion sizes makes way more sense and should be made your lifestyle and not something temporary. That along with a decent amount of exercise should be all you need, and me too! I do also lack the motivation! I just moved to WA from NV to live with my BF who is stationed here in the Navy. I know absolutely no one and it is a lot colder here then my body is used to. All of these are of course excuses but they are the key ones preventing me from getting my fat ass off the couch and doing some exercise!!!!
  • AnonMomAnonMom
    Posts: 2,410Member
    @trishacarol -- I recently heard on The Doctors that allowing yourself to be cold actually helps you burn stored fat.  You're body tries to keep as warm as possibly, so it burns your reserves.  I try to keep that in mind when the fire doesn't get stoked in the middle of the night or I can't keep the fire going during the day.  I'm just burning my stored fat!!
  • lawschoolmommylawschoolmommy
    Posts: 241Member
    Re: breastfeeding for weight loss

    I shoot dirty looks of jealousy to all women for whom the weight just "fell off" while breastfeeding.  My son has nursed for 2.5 years and I didn't lose ANY of the the weight during that time.  I recently lost around ~20 pounds on weight watchers (and thanks to the holidays, I'm sure I've gained back half of it.)  The loss is slow and tedious.  There are days I seriously want to completely wean my son just so I can pop diet pills.  Then I start to try and quickly realize I'm not desperate enough to deal with all that crying.
  • teejcee
    Posts: 2Member
    I have struggled with my weight my whole life, I have been up and down and I am up right now. I do believe a woman can be just as beautiful and sexy no matter what their weight. Just because you feel like you are the biggest girl around doesn't mean you can't be the prettiest girl in the room. The bad body image is not healthy, we can all lose the weight if we want, but you have to love yourself first. You can't make that change to a healthy lifestyle if you don't realize how beautiful and wonderful you already are. 
  • anonymommy
    Posts: 1,652Member
    @ Anonymous, I have done the hcg diet as well and it really does work. Be sure you check the ingredients of what you're getting because I've noticed a lot of the brands sold in stores actually have no hcg in them. I recommend using a site that you know someone else has used successfully to order from, like the one VTmommy2 listed. I use www.healthyourselfalive.com. Make sure you have some recipes lined up do you don't get bored with it and give up. Also, be sure to find out what you need to do for maintenance before you get there. That's where I screwed up the first time. Getting ready to start a round next week myself.
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    do you know what hcg is? it is a hormone derived from the urine of pregnant women. and it has been proven that it doesn't work and could be harmful.
    dieting is not going to help lose and keep off the weight. you have to change your lifestyle.  It has to be a complete life change. Stop eating junk all the time (you can have treats), move more than you sit (effort + time = results). 99% of all overweight people CAN lose weight. No, you don't need a gym. No you don't need expenisve equipment.  At home videos. If you can't afford that, but have cable, comcast has workout on demand. If you don't have that, walk. It's cold outside, then walk in the house. walk stairs. No weights...pick up two cans of beans.  use dry goods to lift weights.  
    The biggest issue is if YOU WANT to do it.  If you want it, you can do it. Start small. Walk one mile. Do that for a while. Then walk two miles.  You have to incorperate movement in order to lose weight.  use smaller plates. 
    There is only one equation to weight loss. You have to burn more calories than you take in. You burn calories all day long. About one calorie per minute.  And if you work out, you up your 'burner'. 
    If you can't find the motivation to do it, then ask yourself if you really want to. If you don't, then great for you! If you have enough self esteem to stay at your current weight, then I envy you!  But if you want to, then any obstical that comes your way will only be a bump, not a mountain.  Good luck. And remember, diets don't work. Change your lifestyle for a life long healthy weight!
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074

    I have observed that almost every single woman I have ever met, is unhappy with her body.  You can lose all the weight you want, you're STILL going to hate your body!!

    Acceptance is the key...

     

     

  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    Ok, I'm sorry, but calling a diet a "lifestyle change" doesn't make it not a diet.  If you're planning to to "select or limit the food one eats to improve one's physical condition or to lose weight" you are, by dictionary definition, going on a diet.  Even if you plan to do it permanently.

    There is no right size or weight.  Everyone is worthy, beautiful, and deserving of dignity and respect.  Be happy and healthy for yourself, and to hell with anyone who can't treat you right just the way you are.
  • AnonMomAnonMom
    Posts: 2,410Member
    The word "diet" has a negative meaning in today's society.  Diet today means to limit or manipulate your food intake.  What we tend forget is that the word "diet" also means the food you ingest as it is.  Zoos use the word diet to be what the animals are fed daily, not being their trying to get them to lose weight, but because that is what they need to be healthy.  Your diet is what you put into your body.  It's your meals, snacks, etc daily.  You're either on a GOOD diet or a BAD diet currently.  Your "diet" needs to change to include good for you foods and fun foods all at an intake level that is healthy.  You don't need to go ON a diet.  Diet is an ugly word when thought of as we've been trained to think of it as.
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    @AnonMom...sorry but *eye rolling* you are making a difference without a distinction.  MOST people consider a diet something you go on to lose weight, then go off when you reach your goal, then go back on to lose weight, to go off when you reach your goal...and that leads to yo yo dieting.  a LIFESTYLE change is what it takes to be successful at weight loss. THAT has been proben.

    The HCG diet says to eat as little as 500 calories a day. That is not sustainable or realistic.  Nobody can keep that up and be healthy. NOT possible.  And there is a right size. And it's not 250, 300, 400, 450 pounds. How do I know? Because I once was there.  Everyone that earns respect is worthy of it, no not everyone is beautiful. I'm not most of the time.  


    And at @anonymous: NO not every woman is healthy and wonderful and beautiful.  Obesity and morbid obesity is a disease that is completely treatable. No, not everyone can or should be a size 1. Not gonna happen. We need to be realistic and understanding, not completely apathetic to health.
  • ImWendyImWendy
    Posts: 6,529Member
    I think if it helps a person to call it a diet, then they should call it a diet.

    If it helps them to call it a lifestyle change, then they should call it a lifestyle change.

    And weight isn't the only factor in overall health.
    deus ex machina
  • AnonMomAnonMom
    Posts: 2,410Member
    Everyone should find a healthy "diet" that fits their lifestyle.  Eye roll me all you want.  In today's society (most people in your words) "diet" is used in reference to losing weight.  It's not used in the way that it should be used.  "I'm going to diet to lose weight" is not a good way to think of it.  "I'm going to change my diet to lose weight" would be better.  In your world it would be a lifestyle change.  All I was trying to convey was that diet shouldn't be linked to losing weight.  It should be linked to being healthy.  And of course I believe that they go hand in fluffin' hand.  And no, I didn't pull the difference out of my large ass.  I have had lengthy conversations with people in the health profession about the negative connotation the word "diet" has in today's society.
  • trishacaroltrishacarol
    Posts: 45Member
    @anonmom I am sure that is true! It is just so hard to bundle my little one up and myself to go out walking in the cold! I rather sit my fat ass on the nice warm couch :) @lawschoolmommmy i have had other friends who experienced the same lack of weight loss during breastfeeding. Maybe the hormones that are still running through you while breastfeeding are causing the lack of weight loss? I too breastfed my son (only for 8 months) but didn't lose any weight either, despite walking weekly.
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    my weight has felt like a one-way street since puberty... size 8 to size 18...always felt overweight, always had friends that did not struggle and ate what they wanted, now my daughter is 8 months old and having her was the only weight loss I have seen for 10 years. Looking back at photos from high school (when I felt I was so big, as big as I actually am now) I can't believe I felt so big then, because I feel like now I actually have a reason to feel big. I don't try diets because I love to eat, I love sugar filled coffee, butter, bread, chocolate, and many more carbs, so I keep in my mind that if I can just fit in at least 3 workouts at the gym a week and try to eat salad at least once a day, I can eventually get back down under 180 and still eat all the stuff I like.........   am i dreaming?   of course it didn't help that when I met my husband and he moved in, I started eating meat a lot more, however it also came with more balanced meals overall, a trade-off?    ....so is my fantasy of losing at least 30 lbs before the next baby and keeping it off during pregos crazy for a plus sized girl?
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    The thing is, @anonBrianna, other people's health is not your business.  And no one is required to pass your personal attractiveness test in order to be deserving of dignity and respect.  I'm not saying there aren't unhealthy people who might benefit from changes in diet, exercise, etc.  But there are also people all over the weight spectrum who have health issues.  If you can't see the beauty and wonderful qualities in every person no matter what their health or looks, I feel sorry for you.

    You say you've been there - it's too bad you've decided to turn your experience into an excuse to act superior to others instead of remembering that you were still a human being before you lost the weight. 

    Oh, and if it is a disease, how come the diet industry keeps coming out with crazy plans whose "results may vary" and aren't covered by insurance, and people with this disease are treated like pariahs and shamed and blamed for their problem instead of being cared for and supported?  You know why?  Because there's no money in telling people, "It's going to be ok - we'll help you."  The money is in, "You're disgusting and probably going to die tomorrow.  Maybe we'll help you IF you pay us - but of course if you fail, it's your own fault and you'll just have to pay us again until you get it right, loser."

    I don't know why I'm even bothering... talking to women about size acceptance is like talking to the KKK about civil rights...
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    I just wanted to say thank you to all the ladies that posted. I really needed that. I to am over weight and have been for many years. I would love to be skinny and feel often it is to late to do anything. I wish I had the motivation or the will power. It is nice to know there are others that feel the same way. Wish we were all together in one support group :D
  • ImWendyImWendy
    Posts: 6,529Member
    Really, there's no need for meanness. That's half the problem and isn't at all supportive.

    @anon Rebelle We're here to listen anytime you need an ear. And it's never too late. Not for anything. :)
    deus ex machina
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    I disagree that other people's health isn't my business. Why do we preach wearing seat belts and vaccinations if other people's health isn't our business? Why do we bother worrying about kids eating too much sugar and being at high risk for juvenile diabetes? Why do we donate to the American Cancer Society or the Red Cross if other people's health isn't our business?

    You know, I work in health care and I see morbidly obese people daily. No, it's not beautiful.....because it's NOT HEALTHY. It's not all about what's on the outside. Excess fat also permeates your liver and alters its function. Excess fat overworks your heart. Excess fat destroys knees and hips as you get older. Mind you, I'm not talking about having a little extra padding.


  • ImWendyImWendy
    Posts: 6,529Member
    I don't think anyone said it's beautiful to be morbidly obese. But just because a person is morbidly obese does not mean they can't be beautiful, because a huge part of beauty comes from personality. Just because they are morbidly obese doesn't mean they don't deserve to be treated with respect, and they don't deserve to be treated like they're disgusting.
    deus ex machina
  • anonymommy
    Posts: 1,652Member
    @anonbrianna, I certainly hope you show more kindness and understanding to those you encounter in your line of work than you have shown here.
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    @ImWendy..thank you so much for that..i am so glad i found this place :)
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    Sounds like this conversation is steering in a bad direction.  I mean, if you're going to put parameters on what size can still be called "Pretty Fat" and what's just disgusting...*sigh*  It's totally subjective!  Just like I think women who wear a 2 or a 4 are too thin and are therefore, unattractive! 

    I'm sitting here in a size 18.  At 5'8, I carry my weight well in an hourglass shape.  So at what size do I stop being "pretty" and just cross the line into slob?  26?  28?

    Who gets to decide where to draw the line?  And if enough people vote that I'm gross at an 18, should I flog myself with self-hatred until I shrink to an acceptable size?!?

    Ugh!  Sorry, but conversations like this anger me! 
  • ImWendyImWendy
    Posts: 6,529Member
    @rebelle Hugs. We're mostly really good and nice and accepting women. :)

    deus ex machina
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    It IS okay for you to think that way.  That was my whole point about size/attractiveness being subjective.

    It's not okay for one person (or a group of women) to draw lines in the sand and say "200 is pushing it, but anything bigger than that is just zomfg disgusting!" and smugly judge anyone who doesn't fit that maximum size.  And that's usually where conversations about "Pretty Fat" vs. "Just Plain Old Fat" lead, and the whole thing usually cloaked in the respectable topic of "Health Concerns" when it's really just women tearing someone else down to build themselves up.
  • SammieSammie
    Posts: 8,345Administrator, Moderator
    I think it is also worth noting that almost anytime a woman says that her opinion is that being skinny is unattractive in some way...she is immediately labeled jealous. I've seen it, heard it, read it, countless times.

    BUT there are typically no social repercussions for viewing for referring to a larger woman as 'fat.' It usually results in nods, laughter, etc.

    Sure, this topic IS subjective as people have differing views on what's attractive, what's an ideal body shape, weight, etc. BUT society is VERY one sided on this issue and that's typically that overweight = ugly and skinny=hot.

    community-manager


  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    This just makes me want to cry.  I struggle every single day.  One day I say screw it I am not gonna care about that number and then the nest day I want so bad to lose weight and be healthy.  I am almost 30 and am a size 14/16.  I have 2 dd and even after my girls I was down to about 115.  Now 13 years after my first dd I am at 186.  I dont feel as though I am huge but when I put the numbers down, it shows that I am obese and have around a 30% bmi.  Also when I was in my teens I struggled with anorexia and worry now that I may get to obsessed with it and lose too much weight.  At my lowest weight I was 87 and rushed to the hospital.  I dont want my dd to think that they have to be skinny to be beautiful.  I feel so lost.  Please help.