Good grief $200 a week for 2??? That's so high! Is that normal in your area? A lot of places will give you a discount for more than one kid if you ask. They'll negotiate! :D

Personally, if you can go back to work, I think it's a good idea. But that's just me. When I had 2 I still worked, but when the 3rd one came it really did make more sense to stay home because of daycare costs. I hated feeling like I had no say in anything, though. And that my "job" was taking care of everything alone because his job was real. And that I had to do everything for him because that was my "job." I can say the decision to start staying home was the beginning of the end for us.

I hope everything works out for you.

Dh hasn't brought it up again yet.. I looked online for jobs and there aren't many that would give me the pay I need. I will just have to see how it goes and then I will have to write out a chore list for the both of us. I don't think he is really going to push it though not at this point.

My god. Here's it's $150 to $200 per week for ONE kid.

@Anon Hardworking are you a single parent? I have no problem working. Its the pay. When my dh left the country for school I raised our daughter by myself and worked full time. My husband helps very little with the kids now as a stay at home mom. And I do want to stay at home, not because I hate work or because I am lazy but because I love to take care of my kids. As I have said before I have no problem getting a job, but he needs to start doing his share. I am in a small city 300,000 ppl there aren't that many jobs here. The only education I have right now is HS and CNA. I can't do math. It is possible for me to go back to school but something people don't' know is that we owe 158k for DH student loans. So I don't see how or why I should add to the loans at this time especially when in my area people with master degrees are taking jobs at grocery stores because that is all they can get. I don't mind your opinion but there is alot of back story here too. So if I go back to school it would be like doing all by myself. My husband would most like not help much. I would go to school and have to pay someone to watch my kids while I am in class, which would cut in to our current income. My 3 yr old dd will be in my paper work and ds will be begging for me to hold him. I could stay up after they go to bed at 11pm. Dh husband won't put them to bed because they scream, and they sleep in basement with me because he can't be bothered to hear them cry. So if I try to put them in their own beds and it gets past 9:30pm I get flack from dh for them being too loud. My dh got us in this financial situation. He knew full well he could not go to medical school with a felony. I told him he should wait, he applied anyway. The school didn't do a background check. So he goes to school. and when he is about to take the USMLE they do a back ground check find the felony and expel him. 

My thing is @anon Hardworking if you can help me figure this mess out. how i can' work for min wage and all the money go to daycare. or go back to school and incur more debt while paying someone to watch my kids while I am in class honestly let me know. no sarcasm give me some ideas

We have a felony for growing pot. I hadn't done it before I met dh. I was a cutter with no insurance to get help. Dh then bf though the weed would help calm me. I found out I am kinda allergic to skunk weed (the cheap stuff) I would not be able to move with out vomiting after one hit. So dh started growing kind bud ( the good stuff) He did a strain called bubble gum. It smelled like bubble gum and it helped me. I could take one hit and calm down. I didn't smoke to get high, and have a good time i did it t help slow my brain down and calm myself. After awhile we would sell to a close friend of his. I needed one ounce to last me about 9 months. Needless to say the cops came and arrested him while I was at work. The cops met me after work wanted me to sign papers and I refused. So I went to jail. Dh never felt so bad in his life. He apologized mom wanted me to leave him. I said no. His parents believed it was all my fault.
We had our drug addiction evaluations done. My came back as a non addict. self medicating. the police ignored it. I went to AA (addictions anonymous) meetings. and did 2 years probation. The court didn't want me to go to prison but they did want dh to go. They gave him probation also. felons are not allowed to interact with each other which would have meant that we couldn't see eachother. I told the judge he was my support helping me with the cutting. The judge made a special rule that he and I could stay together. That was in 2005. I met dh in march 2004. He had just been released from the army for basically not being able to handle it. He has a honorable discharge. When we met in college he was already doing his pre rec classes for med school, this is the first time he has had a job in the 9 years we have been together. Before that he had a rich aunt with no kids that gave him all the money he needed. He bought our house and cars in full with the money from her. After she died he continued to get money from his family. His grandma gives him 1k every Christmas. This past summer when he was trying to hold med school for the felony to be expunged the school found out and explelled him all his dreams were crushed. he was destroyed. Financially and emotionally. In sept I threatened divorce because he wasn't moving on and growing up. Not acting like a partner in marriage and family. We started counciling. Shortly after his dad filed for divorce after 36 years of marriage. his mom and brother immediately put dh in the middle demanding he talk to his father and make him fix the marriage. My husband has been going through hell. We are paying our bills and he most days has a hard time doing what he needs to do as a father. He is getting much better.

sorry long story.. Needless to say before the past 3 years I always worked full time in whatever I could get. I worked as a Cna and in a plastic factory. This is the first job he has had since we have been together. Hopefully that gives some insight to our situation.

You're mean. If it doesnt make financial sense for her to work ($130/wk after daycare) how is that the same as not wanting to work?? It's not. Its like saying she doesnt want to work because crayons are yellow. There is nothing shameful or lazy about a mother wanting to stay home with her kids. If her husband can go drink all the time they arent that bad. It sounds like he wants her to work for his drinking money. Fuck that. Glitter, if you decide to go back to work or school I wish you all the best. I must add that if you pick massage therapy be ready to study nonstop because the national board exam is the hardest thing ive ever experienced.

I used to worker as a baker at Panera Bread good money and good benifits. Its 3rd shift. I could apply agian. My schudle would be somthing like work at night and take care of the kids by day. when dh gets off work at 6 I would have to go to bed. Get back up around 8:30 and try to get the kids to bed. But on weekends he couldn't go out which won't go over very well with him. He is good with the kids when it is convenient for him. This is something we are working on. I am currently making a shit load of bows to sell for kids hair. I just don't see working myself to the bone if it benefits no one and I don't have to. It would be very different if I was a single parent. I would be getting child support and in that day care money. i would do what I had to. But this is not that situation. just today on lunch DH came home and was upset cause he says he never has any free time. I gently reminded him he went out with me Friday night. and his friends Saturday and Sunday. That is a hell of a lot more free time than I have. Guess what I am doing when he is out with his friends.

@love...hahahahahahahahahahaha!  Troll spray is a supremely awesome way to deal with that kind of negativity :)

Yikes!  Stranger-danger!!!!