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just wrong and makes me sad
  • momof4momof4
    Posts: 323Member

    I have a 6mo. that i watch for free because the mother hasn't got alot of money. The mother has 3 kids total 18,15 and the 6 month old. all the babies cloths are to small,she's almost out of diapers. While being poor isn't the problem. What disgusts me is that she is more worried about a penis and any penis will do. She's admitted to sending over 1,500 dollars in a 3 month period to a guy in another state so he could come visit her.(he hasn't come) I'm gonna have the baby christmas day as i asked for her and the mom isn't celebrating christmas because the kids are bad and she has no money. I'm struggling myself with 4dd. I'm glad the baby is still small and to young to notice i don't have anything under the tree for her. It just crushes me i'd never let my kids go on christmas day even if i didn't have money for gifts. I have the baby at least 3-4 times a week. i asked for her to send me some cloths over for her and none of the cloths fit her they're all 0/3 months!! Any thing i do get for the baby i keep at my house toys,walkers,babyfood etc. I make her supply diapers and wipes still. But she's almost out and has no money and neither do we. i'm almost out of food that i bought for her. and I can't get help at a food pantry for the baby cause she's not mine and the mom won't lift a finger. the baby needs everything :-( socks,outfits,pajamas,onesies and i just can't afford it and i know i know it's not my responsibility but still she didn't ask for a penis hungry mom. I just feel soooo bad and can't help but feel guilty that i can't help this baby more. and the baby is so sweet she hardly ever cries and always smiling even when she doesn't feel good. I just needed a place to vent my fustiration and anger. and this person constantly has cps involved but she lies to them and covers everything up and gets away with it. I offered to take her for christmas so she would at least have "a family"  celebration. i know all i can do is love her and take really good care of her when i have her. but i feel i'm not taking really good care of her when she's in cloths to small and i'm running out of baby food for her so all i'll have to give her is formula. i don't think the mom is feeding her right either cuase when i had her yesterday she ate a full jar of stage 2


     


    suggestions......hugs welcomed to.

  • DemandaDemanda
    Posts: 4,638Member
    Aww, I have no advice, but here's a hug!  You sound like a very kind-hearted person.   >:D<
    "The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off." ~ Gloria SteinemPhotobucket
  • momof4momof4
    Posts: 323Member
    fruit and rice cereal and her bottle and looked like she could of ate more!! of course i can't prove she's not feeding her right and she addmitted to feeding her babyfood at 2 months cause she couldn't buy formula once the wic ran out.
  • GlitterQueen GlitterQueen
    Posts: 2,492Member
    i have some baby food I could send. I dont' know if have clothes that size anymore. That is a crappy situation and I am sure its painful to watch. Be a good second mommy to the baby your so awesome
    :-D
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,314
    My heart is breaking. I can only offer hugs since unfortunately I'm not even on the same continent. I hope the local folks have some ideas.


  • CanadianMamaCanadianMama
    Posts: 9,655Administrator, Moderator
    @momof4 where do you live? I may have some clothes I could send.

    community-manager


  • momof4momof4
    Posts: 323Member
    Thanks Glitterqueen that would be so awesome!! and yes it is very painful. as with any good mommy i do the sacrifice (not complaining) for my 4DDs and my childhood was horrific so it's made me even that more protective of kids. just pains me that women continue to have kids they can't take care of. I'm strapped but my kids have everything they Need and even some of what they Want. my e-mail is starsdaughter2000@yahoo.com you can contact me th
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,314
    if u have a  grinder even blender u can make food. i did with my twins can food was to expensive.  and it tastes better and usually eat it all cuz it has flavor. would grind up what we were having for dinner. just a suggestion. meats,veggies,beans,fruits etc. if it is to dry/thin add a little milk. food banks pass out diapers if u ask. and churches usuallly have donation closets. all u have to do is call around in your area. >:D<
  • momof4momof4
    Posts: 323Member
    @CanadianMama I live in upstate ny. she needs 6-9 mo. and up.  Is it bad that i keep the stuff i get for her here at my house? or should i send it home or split it between the 2 places? i have her usually 3-4 times a week sometimes more.
  • OnmylastnerveOnmylastnerve
    Posts: 1,648Member
    Oh I wish you would of said something I had 7 cans of formula that I gave away cause dd is on milk now :( I'll email you if You dont mind and I'll see what I can do about clothes and other food. I also get TONS of formula coupons.
    not my chair, not my problem
  • OnmylastnerveOnmylastnerve
    Posts: 1,648Member
    Earlier*
    not my chair, not my problem
  • momof4momof4
    Posts: 323Member
    Thx anony but where i live is so rural that the nearest place like that is 45 minutes away. Awesome idea but i don't have a blender anymore it broke ages ago....lol  i have however smashed up real bananas and given it to her. thx for the hugs!! >:D< we're down to one vehicle ourselves and no money for extra travel with gas so high!!! My dh got screwed in a partnership and we're still paying for it.
  • momof4momof4
    Posts: 323Member
    you know what you just gave me an idea
  • momof4momof4
    Posts: 323Member
    awww anony just pray for her and keep her in your thought that's a great help and the fact that you want to help means so much. so many hugs and thx!!
  • crazylazymommycrazylazymommy
    Posts: 249Member
    @momof4 i'm going to email you. I may be able to mail you a nice care package. I'll have to see what I have. It may not be until after xmas though.
  • wh05
    Posts: 193Member
    @momof4 can you pm me with an address I have 5 outfits that was given me for my DD they're way to small. They're new I was going to take them to goodwill but I rather you have them. I think its wonderful what ur doing!
  • momof4momof4
    Posts: 323Member
    @who5 how do i pm you? still kinda new to the board and computers hate me...lol Thank you for offering the cloths for her! i'm trying and with the help you guys are giving so generously i'll be able to do it even better!! I don't know you guys very well but I love every last one of you for the ease of the help your offering for this baby!! I have a fb that i will post pics of her on after christmas for those of you who want to see the baby your helping e-mail me and i'll give you my fb info.
  • CanadianMamaCanadianMama
    Posts: 9,655Administrator, Moderator
    @momof4 where in upstate ny? My uncle lives in Elmira, and my patents will be going to visit soon, I could send them with them and they could mail it off, it would be cheaper.

    community-manager


  • CanadianMamaCanadianMama
    Posts: 9,655Administrator, Moderator
    And I totally understand keeping them at your houze

    community-manager


  • momof4momof4
    Posts: 323Member

    @CanadianMama I live in a one road small town called Red Creek....lol

  • LoveLove
    Posts: 12,847Administrator, Moderator
    @Momof4 the easiest way to start a PM, is to click on their name. When their profile pulls up, (give it just a minute LOL) look to the right, under their pic, and above their "about" and it will  say "Send so-and-so a message"

    community-manager


  • momof4momof4
    Posts: 323Member
    @Love thx for the info! my computer doesn't like this site everytime i post it freezes and i have to close the page and come bk into the site....lol
  • LoveLove
    Posts: 12,847Administrator, Moderator
    Ewwww! Do you have Chrome, or FireFox, or IE for your browser?

    My IE HATED this site LOL I use Chrome now.

    community-manager


  • momof4momof4
    Posts: 323Member
    my dh doesn't let me download stuff....lmbo cause everytime i do the puter messes up.
  • CanadianMamaCanadianMama
    Posts: 9,655Administrator, Moderator
    Alright when I get to my computer tonight I'll look up the easiest way to get the clothes to you.

    community-manager


  • momof4momof4
    Posts: 323Member

    @CanadianMama ok thx!!  and thx to the rest of you as well. I'm gettin off for the night as i've had a stress migraine for 2 days and my mirgraine pills aren't even working. a millions thx you guys don't think i can say it enough

    :X >:D<
  • CanadianMamaCanadianMama
    Posts: 9,655Administrator, Moderator
    I'm glad to do it!!

    community-manager


  • JessJess
    Posts: 135Member
    I have a huge bag ot girl clothes in various sizes that my daughter doesnt fit. I would be hapy to send them to you! PM your address!
  • JessJess
    Posts: 135Member
    Bag of clothes...damn touchscreen buttons lol
  • [Deleted User]
    Posts: 5,232
    Yeah, I have baby stuff too...DD is 2.5, but I have toys, clothes, etc... PM me,and I'll see what I can do about getting  them to you.
  • chaosmomchaosmom
    Posts: 3,834Member
    Also, see if there is a freecycle(yahoo group) for your area & check the free stuff on craigslist.
  • CanadianMamaCanadianMama
    Posts: 9,655Administrator, Moderator
    @momof4 So you're not that far from Rochester or Syracuse? Awesome! Looks like it will be a breeze to get these clothes to you, I could drive them there myself (It's only like three hours!). They won't be able to be sent until the end of December, but they will get to you! Please PM me your address :D

    community-manager


  • AnonUser23
    Posts: 2,278Guest
    @momof4 I will look through my stuff. I know I have put away lots of nice baby girl clothes I just have to make sure they are over 6 months. I have so many clothes saved for my family but everyone seems to be having boys! Please PM me if you are interested and I can ship them to you after Christmas. Also I will bookmark this so I won't forget!!
  • cajunmammacajunmamma
    Posts: 32Member
    @MomOf4 I think its wonderful that you are taking care of this child when you yourself are struggling with 4 kiddos. I wish I could help, but being a single mom of three, and waiting tables I dont have much myself. Keep on doing what you are doing. Your blessings are coming and their will be many, just you watch. And to all you SM that  are sending things for this baby, yours are coming as well!!
  • momof4momof4
    Posts: 323Member

    @cajunmamma thank you! and i know exactly where your comming from on not having much that's why i posted here about the baby. hang in there and i hope things get easier for you and your kids!! i take my hats off to all moms but especially to single ones. thx to all that can help and to the ones that can only give hugs and prayers. I know you guys have helped my stress levels so much as well as my panic attacks. now if i can just get the depression to lay off.....lol  lots of love and hugs to all SM.


     


      Merry Christmas!

  • Heligirl_429
    Posts: 1Member
    I live in Rochester and would love to help!
  • [Deleted User]
    Posts: 7,022
    The user and all related content has been deleted.
    well behaved women seldom make history
  • momof4momof4
    Posts: 323Member
    ok thx mammateeroll i'll definately check that stuff out!!
  • momof4momof4
    Posts: 323Member
    @MammaTeeRoll i checked and sighned up on those site thx!
  • momof4momof4
    Posts: 323Member
    so you all know my profile pic. is saphire the baby your helping me with!
  • [Deleted User]
    Posts: 613
    Makes me sad that this mom is getting away with not providing for her child.
    The baby is not being taken care of properly, clearly she's hungry! She needs food and wasn't being fed!
    Where is CPS when you need em?!!

    I want to take her. :) this makes me so sad.
  • [Deleted User]
    Posts: 613
    Also, I know of a foster mom who was getting breastmilk from a donor with the help of "eats on feets". See if there is a mom or chapter in your area that wants to donate breastmilk to the baby.
    That way you don't have to worry about buying formula. Just thaw & serve :) I know it sounds weird.. But I doubt sapphire's mommy will care (or even need to know)

    For diapers, you can use cloth... I got some at the dollar store. I know cloth diapering isn't for everyone (it wasn't for me) but if my circumstances were different, I would have learned to like it ;)
  • momof4momof4
    Posts: 323Member

    @NightNightBaby yeah cloth diapers aren't for me.....lol  i didn't even use them for my own kids.


    i'll don't know that

  • momof4momof4
    Posts: 323Member
    sorry puter freaked out...lol      Cps is involved she's just such a good liar. But over the weekend they have removed the 15 yo for good. She told them about her mom beating her. I also guess she told them that the mother made her have sex with guys for money. She's going into a group home after the 1st. The 17 yo hates her mother but is still covering up for her. The mom has a guy she's only known for 2 weeks moving in after the first of the year. Cps has pictures of the bruises and busted lip. but the baby is still in her care. and she lost the 2 older ones for a little while last year so she has a record with cps.
  • [Deleted User]
    Posts: 613
    @momof4 why don't you call CPS and offer additional info? You can be annonomus.
    I've called CPS on my brother and his girlfriend a handful of times. No one knows it was me.
    In my case, my brother is a meth addict and would leave my niece in a poopy diaper for days. Her butt was so raw, it bled. Non stop. She had sores. They were staying in the musty old garage where they cooked meth and my niece got bit 3 times by a black widow and was hospitalized. When I called CPS that time, I gave them info as if I was a nurse from the hospital.

    Or you can call the police and have them do a welfare check on the baby.
    When I've called the police , I said I was a neighbor and gave them information I knew and said it from a neighbors point of view.

    I know you love this little girl but unless you can pass the CPS check (home, background, safety) maybe the best place for her is in a foster home.

    In my case, my mom took my niece to another state, but now she's being raised with the help of my older brother who molested me when I was 6 and never faced charges. Its like my niece went from the fry pan to the fire! My mom works around the clock (literally) and is never home. My 36 year old alcholic weed addict brother lives with my mom and is responcible for 80% of my nieces care. It drives me absolutely insane. But as much as I love my mom, she's addicted to her career and that's her focus. my mom has always turned a blind eye to the fact my older brother victimized me.
    My niece has a syndrome (probably from being a drug baby) and requires daily hormone shots and a strict diet. She has a few mental disorders that prevent me from going down there and taking her myself. I don't want to expose my 2 year old to that type of dysfunction so I keep our visits a few times a year and closely supervised.


    In a way, I do relate to your situation and it's a hard spot to be in.
  • sybil
    Posts: 27Member
    @nightnightbaby.. maybe I am overstepping my bounds, but you KNOW that your niece is living basically alone, with someone that you KNOW is a child molester?
    Have you done anything to help her?
  • [Deleted User]
    Posts: 613
    Did you read my comments? Yes @sybil I have called cps and the police. Called both fpr the past 6 years! I have no proof that my niece has been sexually abused and I have to protect my daughter, that's why I supervise closely when they visit. I'm not in a position to take my niece and she lives in another state. If my niece has been abused I don't want her in my house, molesting my 2 1/2 year old. Reoffending is VERY common and I have to protect my daughter.
    But yes I have done a lot. I lack proof ( as I'm not there) and Only suspect.
    My brother smokes weed and drinks with her right there. Drives me crazy.
  • [Deleted User]
    Posts: 1,101
    hugs my heart goes out to the children above. Freecycle is an awesome resource!  Folks post items they no           longer need. Also you may post things that you need.   (you can explain the situation and state your need) You subscribe to the county in which you live in so it is not far to retrieve.   Possibly folks may drop off to you given the circumstances.  The ladies above assisting are wonderful!  Bless u all.                                                 >:D<
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,314
    I also wondered if you have thought about reporting her in hopes this child could have a real chance at life. You can't just keep supplying her with everything cause she seems to be taking advantage of you being so caring. 

    I would start with CPS and go from there.
  • CanadianMamaCanadianMama
    Posts: 9,655Administrator, Moderator
    @momof4 I am sending my parents with a whole bunch of sleepers, clothes and a winter fleece snowsuit thing. They'll mail it off to you from Rochester, so hopefully it won't take too long to get to you. Unfortunately, I was only able to find 9-12 month clothes (I've given the rest away to a friend). But the snow suit should fit right away. There's a couple of new swimsuits (with tags on) if you want to consign those to get clothes that will fit her now, I would be totally okay with that, or if you could sell them to buy diapers that would be good too. 

    community-manager


  • momof4momof4
    Posts: 323Member

    @ Anonymous rose she has been reported to CPS if you read ^^^^. I have reported her as well and she still has the kids. and i'm not supplying her i'm supplying the stuff at my house for the baby. and she can't take advantage of me when i know that i'm letting her get away with it.


     


    @CanadianMama thx so much i'll just hold on to the stuff cause she'll grow into them with in the next few months. it's awesome there's bathing suits in there cause i've been wanting to go to the community center but she doesn't have one.


    p.s. my profile pic. is the baby your all helping me out with so you know.(isn't she so damn cute!)..lol

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