Severe pain during/after intercourse? Help!
  • I'm going to be detailed about this topic and I really hope some of you can offer advice. I have a problem which developed rather suddenly around a year and a half ago. During and right after sex, my vagina hurts really bad. I feel raw, swollen, and get a severe burning sensation.  The pain occurred once in a while without warning, but it's happening more often now, almost every time DH even begins touching me there. He's so caring about the problem and doesn't want me feel pressure to have sex. He feels bad and doesn't want to hurt me. I can't even concentrate on the pleasure because the pain is there too. At first, I thought maybe DH and I should try using a lube to ease the distraction, (even though we didn't really need the lube).

     I had my annual visit with my OBGYN in October, and she said to me, in a very uncaring tone,  "Well I don't know, everything looks ok to me." WTF? I wanted to kick her in the face and say "It doesn't FEEL like everything is "ok"!  My pap test came back normal, and I don't have any infections, etc. I did my own research (seems like the only way to find answers these days), and I came upon this condition called Vulvodynia. The symptoms are all there! Sex use to be such an awesome part of my marriage, but now I'm so scared to do it because I KNOW I'll be in pain. It's making me really depressed. 

    Does anyone else have the same issue? As far as I know, it's tough to diagnose AND treat. There isn't any cure for it right off the bat, mostly trial and error to find out what helps. It also occurs out of nowhere for most women! Anyone have advice or has anyone dealt with this horrible problem before? 

  • Just to be clear, I'm also seeking out a new OBGYN!
  • CrashCrash
    Posts: 10,571Member

    Have you seen this site? It might be worth bringing up to your new doc.
    Why be a king when you can be a God?
  • Thanks so much! I will definitely be talking to her about it!

  • CrashCrash
    Posts: 10,571Member
    I have never heard of this condition before! Does it occur when you're stimulated, or only when your dh touches you? Can you play with yourself without pain, or does any sort of sexual stimulation bring it on? I mean you can pleasure your husband in many ways without having intercourse, but it just won't do much for you until you get this sorted out.

    And your OBGYN was a bitch.
    Why be a king when you can be a God?
  • OnmylastnerveOnmylastnerve
    Posts: 1,648Member
    I used to get all swollen and hives everywhere down there after sex I felt like I had road rash. But I also got hives after a bath. Is it just after sex or does it happen after exercise? Mine was a skin condition called dermagraphism basically I get an allergic reaction to heat, friction, and moisture.
    not my chair, not my problem
  • Mama_O_CLZMama_O_CLZ
    Posts: 41Member
    I had the same experience with painful intercourse--and dealt with it for almost 16 months after the birth of my son.  I went to see a urogynecologist who prescribed estrogen cream and fluoxetine.  It helped to reset the nerves in my vagina and perineum--I can now have sex (mostly) pain free, and it gets better every time!  I hope that you have the same successful resolution!  

  • crazylazymommycrazylazymommy
    Posts: 249Member
    i started having a somewhat similar reaction after having my daughter. When i am aroused, whether from manual stimulation or foreplay, i start getting pain in my vagina. It's like a warming, burning aching pain. It almost feels like the pain is on the inside and outside, and it's a deep pain. It does fade after a while, but sometimes the pain is so bad, it isn't worth it to even try to have sex. At my last gyne appointment, i asked my doctor about it. He said my exam looked great and wasn't sure what the problem could be. HOW CAN HE NOT KNOW??? Isn't he a crotch doctor???He had no explanation as to what could be wrong. I came to the conclusion that maybe the nerves in my vagina have just become overly sensitive.
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    Hi there.  you sound exactly like me....I just got diagnosed with vaginisimus (that might not be the correct spelling, but close enough), which means my vaginal muscles contract without my control. Right now I am working on a series of "dildos" which will help me learn to relax when being penetrated (plus, you might be able to  get your medical plan to cover awesome is that?)  Also, I found out I am allergic to my husband's cum (I never knew this existed until I watched Dr. Oz.  Once we started using lubed condoms, everything was better.  It still isn't great and I have to psych  myself up to have sex, but it is better than living with a moody, frustrated S.O.B.. Good luck.  Find a good gyno who will LISTEN to you.  BTW, I always thought women were better gynos, but that is just not true...I had a female one who was way less caring and this problem had gone untreated for years.  good luck!!
  • Thanks for all of the input ladies! I use a water-based, water soluble lube, (when I need to but it's not often.) 
    DH gets my natural lubrication going just fine - woo hoo! LOL 
    I don't have any allergies, and never had to deal with this type of problem before. Hormonal changes can be a contributor to the condition, off balance bacteria in the vag (even slightly off). But there isn't any ONE thing that docs have found to be the main cause OR cure...only trial and error will tell what works best for each case :(
    I really think there needs to be some major research on this mess, it's bullshit! I started crying from the pain the other day, and then I got angry when I read about the lack of knowledge on the condition. GRRR!

    To answer the questions some of you asked, I'm just going to answer/comment in order -
    @Curious, I agree! She was so damn ignorant! I'm not as comfortable with the idea of having a male doc, but I really think I should consider it. The pain happens from any touching/stimulation. It's not internal, it's the outer area and all around. I can be really turned-on and ready to go for it, but the pain is there. 

    @Mama, I'll be looking into a urogyno. Thanks a lot for that tip.

    @Crazylazymommy, Sex shouldn't be painful! You really need to address this issue with your doctor. Tell him about the vuladynia discussion we're having! A lot of docs aren't very educated on the condition because it's fairly new. There aren't any KNOWN causes, only speculation as to what may contribute to the condition. It's a sudden on-set, and it can go away just as suddenly. A doc can't tell if you have it just by looking. YOU have to press your concerns, if he won't listen enough to help you, find a new doc like me! :)