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Am I the only one who feels this way?
  • 1happymommy
    Posts: 49Member
    My daughter is 14 months old. I love her more than anything. But ever since I've had her I've lost all my friends. I work a full time job, come home and play with my baby. When I'm feeling down and need someone to vent to, I have no one to call. Is it a mommy thing? Or is it just me.... :/
  • chaosmomchaosmom
    Posts: 3,846Member
    Its a mommy thing. We get so wrapped up in our love & responsibilities as a mom that we don't take time out for ourselves. I wish I had advice on how to overcome this but all I do is hang out with my babies!
  • ImWendyImWendy
    Posts: 6,561Member
    The only thing I know to suggest is to try to make a friend who has a child the same age as yours. I think a LOT of us do this. For me, I'm tired after everything, and when I have down-time, I just want to relax.
    deus ex machina
  • kysmommykysmommy
    Posts: 522Member
    A lot of my friends fell off the face of the earth when I had DD. The ladies I'm closest with now, I met thru her school or gymnastics classes. I still have a few w/o kids, but I've met all them mostly thru past jobs and we are still close. Don't feel bad I've made a lot of friendships break bc I'd rather spend time with the kiddo. Your true friends respect you for that :-)
  • i_am_a_thunderbirdi_am_a_thunderbird
    Posts: 1,684Member
    Same here. I lost friends when I had my son for sure. I tried to keep contact, but some just didn't reciprocate and I let it go.

    I don't have many friends and definitely not many friends with children. It gets tough sometimes, but I talk to my DH about a lot of things and I have a great family.

    But sometimes, I long for the days my friends and I used to go out for coffee or shopping, just us. I miss that.
  • MommaWombat_Erin
    Posts: 132Member
    I have always had a hard time making and keeping friends.  It got worse with my ex and after I had my DD because he would keep me away from everyone...lost many friends that way.  Despite that, it is kind of a mommy thing because the ones that I am closest to have kids about the same age as DD and she is really sociable.  Even looking for other women with children a little older has helped, too.  One of my really good friends has daughters that are about 9 and 13, and her girls love little kids so it works out pretty good there.  Its especially hard when the kids are babies, though.  Keep your chin up and remember that you are not alone! 

    >:D<
  • bamamama
    Posts: 129Member
    When I got married, I moved an hour from my friends and family. At the time I thought 'oh, an hour isn't so bad. i'll see everyone all the time'. It didn't quite work out that way. I talk to my mom almost everyday but days even weeks go by between the times i talk to my closest friends. My sister lives 20 minutes from me and i hardly ever see or talk to her. Everyone is just so dang busy with work, kids, life... I feel very alone sometimes. I love my husband dearly but he has been off work since last thursday and i'm ready to pull my hair out! lol... I love being with him but i feel like we've been joined at the hip (not always a bad thing) for a solid week. Oh, longer than that even. He also works from home so when he is working he is still here. That's not so bad because he is usually on conference calls for 8 solid hours everyday. I feel out of place here. I don't feel like I fit in at all. I'm so glad I found SM. I didn't mean to ramble and just talk about myself. I just wanted you know that you're not alone. Friendships definitely change (or cease to exist) when marriage and kids come in the mix. Have you checked out any mommy and me groups in your area? I've heard that's a good way to make new friends. Also, drop some of your closest/oldest friends an email and let them know you're thinking of them. I did that recently and I was surprised how welcoming and understanding they were. It's like there hadn't been a gap in our friendship/communication at all. 
    >:D<
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,315
    Its a TOTAL mommy thing.   agree with everyone above, you will make friends with your kid's friends' parents.  I have two friends I used to hang with all the time.  One doesnt have children, and the other has two and a full time job so we NEVER see eachother.  We take 4 days in August and go out to the beach and act like 20 year olds again.  No kid talk, no husband talk, long leisurley (sp) in nice restaraunts...lots of wine.  IT BLISSFUL and we come back refreshed!  We even have a name for the weekend and "rules".  Its awesome
  • GritsGrits
    Posts: 3,742Member
    I agree with pretty much everyone above! It seems to happen more with mommies of younger kids, IMHO because little kids are so time-consuming! I know there are days that go by when I can barely remember to take a shower, much less pick up the phone and settle in for some chit chat with a friend! Most of my friends understand that, but just as many don't. I find kindred spirits in parents of kids close in age with mine. I also stay sane by reminding myself that my kiddos won't be little forever. There will come a time when I can be more myself again and hopefully regain some old friends or make some new ones. Girls' Night is a thing of the past right now, and I just try to think of my time spent at home as time spent teaching my dd's that family is the most important thing.  I will always be there when they need me and never too busy for them! Hugs to all the mamas out there that feel lonely! Thank god for places like Scary Mommy!!!

      >:D<
    "I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day, and I believe in miracles." ~Audrey Hepburn
  • momofeveryonemomofeveryone
    Posts: 1,709Member
    im a SAHM, so the only other moms i see are SAHM, and i have to confess, i dont like most of them! all any of my mom friends talk about are our kids, and i still keep track of world events, its kindof annoying when they have no idea whats going on except for when DD4 pooped last....i also have a lower household income then most of them, and when they want to do 'mommy spa day' i always have to decline.  i hope it gets better when DS is in school and i can go back to work.
    we got the house!!!!! i have worked so hard for 5 years to get us in a spot to buy! isnt it cute?!?!?!?
  • trishacaroltrishacarol
    Posts: 45Member
    I just moved to WA to live with my boyfriend who is stationed here and my DS is 9 months old. I know absolutely no one here and seriously sit at home day after day while my BF works very long hours. I am so beyond needing a friend to talk to, go out with it is crazy!
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,315
    It is a "mom thing". I have found a wonderful outlet, though, in my "mommy/playdate group." Check  Meetup.com- there are tons of different types of groups ie-single parents, stay at home, active, etc, etc. Search your area, & interests. It's a great way to meet new friends-for you & the kids, & for you to get out & have some "girl time. Good luck!!
  • shate98shate98
    Posts: 2,784Member
    I have a 15mo old and I feel the same way. After a full day of work, playing with DS and getting the chores done it's too late to call friends, and I don't have many that want to hear me vent about being a mom. The ones with little kids that I can vent to all go to bed early- but totally look for women with young kids.
    "As you wander through your life, whatever be your goal,
    keep your eye upon the doughnut, not upon the hole."
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,315
    I had a few friends I made over the years that had kids.  I met them at work when I was still working, at my son's school and neighbours.  As the years passed and they all went back to work and we moved away from each other friendships seemed to come to an end.  They were all too busy and I honestly got sick of having to only spend time on their time. I always told them to let me know when they were available and we would figure something out.  Never could I suggest let's watch a movie or go out for coffee etc as I always got turned down.  This was while we were still all SAHM's . When they went back to work the ignoring started. Not even a sorry, I am so busy, just a plain ignore.  When I was working I still made time  or replied.  I am down to two friends and one I have almost entirely written off. So selfish and it is all about her... after not talking for months she calls out of the blue after ignoring my emails, texts and calls............ and then proceeds to go on about what happened to her these past months.  SHEESH.  I am to the point where I do not give a darn.  People are such a pain in the ass.
  • justheatherjustheather
    Posts: 21Member
    I agree with everything above.  It really seems to be another marker of motherhood.  I tried the whole play date thing a few times over the years...not for me.  In my experience it was a lot of women who were mostly interested in showing off (even when there was nothing to see lol).  I think (I hope) it gets better the older your children get...mine are 6 right now....Hang in there, and do enjoy them while they are little, it goes way way too fast....

  • momof4momof4
    Posts: 323Member
    It's a mom thing. it's already hard for me cause i'm an introvert to start off with. being on this site is the most i've talked to women. Most of them in my area still haven't grown up or just annoy the hell outta me. i'm 33 and tend to head for the older ladies who are more mature. 40's and up. my deppression takes alot out of me to. I also start freaking out if ppl are around to much even family so i like the isolation most of the time.
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