How to get my 34 year old son to move out?
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    How to get my 34 year old son to move out.  He disrespects me, doesn't help, hides in the the bedroom and can't even buy replacement toilet paper!!!!!!
  • AnonUser23
    Posts: 2,270Guest
    If I didn't know any better I would think you are my Mom talking about my brother!! He is 34 and has only lived away from my Mom for 1 year total. He can be so awful at times I really do fear that one day he is going to give my Mom a heart attack. I think she is stuck with him for life. I wish I had some good advice to give you, if I did I'd be giving it to my Mom too.
  • battibatti
    Posts: 2,167Member
    Yikes, how do you let him stay that long!!?? Wish I had some advice, I'm only 26 myself, and I jumped ship practically the minute I turned 18 lol.
    The only thing I can think of is to make things uncomfortable. Such as, don't cook for him/do his laundry etc.. if you are doing those things.

    SMSM_s_5

  • DemandaDemanda
    Posts: 5,920Member
    Does he have a job that can support an apartment?  If so, just kick his ass out.
    "The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off." ~ Gloria SteinemPhotobucket
  • LoveLove
    Posts: 14,066Administrator, Moderator
    Have you asked him to move out?
    Told him to move out?

    If so, and gotten nowhere.... I tend to like the "change the locks" idea...

    Make his life miserable. Don't feed him. Don't do his laundry. Stop buying him Toilet paper and soap, and etc. And lock yours up where he can't get to it.

    Set his dirty laundry in a hamper beside his door and don't touch it.
    Set his dirty dishes in a clothes basket outside his door and don't touch it.

    Post a note on his door that says "Sorry. Adults take care of their own responsibilities, and we do not employ a maid."

    community-manager


  • AnonUser37
    Posts: 1,741Member
    Go to housing court, and evict his ass. Period.

  • DemandaDemanda
    Posts: 5,920Member
    Well, even welfare gives you enough to live off.  Barely, I know, but there are tons of people out there without jobs who don't live at home.  If he's making her miserable, there's nothing wrong with giving him the boot at 34.  I don't see how that's any different from taking him to court to be evicted, unless she's tried to get him out and he won't go.  

    If my son was 34, I'd let him live with me, sure, but you can bet your ass he'd be respectful and contribute to the household in some way, or yeah... see ya kiddo.


    "The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off." ~ Gloria SteinemPhotobucket
  • LoveLove
    Posts: 14,066Administrator, Moderator
    UNLESS he has a disability, there's no logical reason for him to not be paying rent or helping out around the house, or BOTH. 
    He's grown. He needs to act like it, or suffer the consequences that we all must face when we neglect our adult responsibilities.

    Don't pay your rent? You get evicted. Simple as that. 

    If he would help around the house, contribute in some manner, I'm sure as a loving mother, that could be considered in lieu of rent. But the original post reads like he's free loading. Because he's being allowed to. Put your foot down, Momma. The real world won't be as kind, and you're doing him no favors, allowing him to reside in your protected bubble, free from all responsibility and care...

    community-manager


  • irishlassirishlass
    Posts: 7,057Member
    wow, i cant even imagine!! I vote confront him straight up about it. Give him a deadline, a realistic one for his situation, eg, 2 months. Then if he doesnt leave then, make it unbearable for him to be there. if that doesnt work, change the locks. 
    Its hard to be hard on your son, especially when youve spent 34 years making it easy on him!
    "Be who you are and say what you feel. Because those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter." - Dr. Seuss
  • LoveLove
    Posts: 14,066Administrator, Moderator
    WOW @Laurie I think I love your dad LOL

    community-manager


  • forkinthehead
    Posts: 482Member
    I'd take him out for a ride in the desert and drop him off. Tell him to send you a postcard when he's settled.
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    well behaved women seldom make history
  • AnonUser37
    Posts: 1,741Member
    I don't know what the laws are in your state, but if he is living there, receiving his mail there, its technically illegal to change the locks without legally evicting him. I don't think he would do anything, he sounds too lazy....but it's a potential headache to consider, if you're set on removing him.
  • wpics
    Posts: 59Member
    When I was younger as soon as I graduated college my Dad told me I had to start paying room and board.  Immediatly.  Yes, I lived rent free while in collage.  I got a crappy waitressing job to help me pay the bills.  I lived there for about a year or so & I figured out I could move in an apartment with my boyfriend and pay the same $$ for rent.  My parents had split though, so I had to do all my own laundry, cooking, cleaning ect anyway.  Not sure what you son does around the house.
    My oldest is now 18 and in college & I plan to do the same thing with her.  If she is not in school she will pay room and board.  
    I feel for you though, I worry about them not leaving (I'm SO ready at this point...LOL).
    Good luck!
    PS....I have an ex sister in law who was evicted from her Mother's house...served papers and everything, so it did work.
  • NoMoreMonkeysNoMoreMonkeys
    Posts: 533Member
    I'm mean enough that I would just put the house up for sale.   I think he would get the point when there is a  SOLD sign on the house and the new people have a U-Haul in the driveway.