Over Active Bladder
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    I have 3 children and am in my 40's. Been struggling with urinary issues for about 3 years now. At first it was just leaks once in awhile but then I started having full blown accidents. Started at night first. A few wet beds and then suddenly it happened one day while out doing errands. Totally lost control and wet myself.

    After many tests and doctor appointments I have been diagnosed with severe over active bladder. I have tried several of the over active bladder medications and some work better than others. A few hardly had any effect and a few had side effects that were not good. Even with the medicine, I find that I still have wetting accidents. Nighttime is worse than daytime and I average 1-3 wet nights per week. I wear disposible adult diapers to bed because I never know when it is going to happen. My husband is OK with that and very supportive so that is not a big problem.

    During the day I still have periods when I have accidents and loss of control even though I'm on the medicine. Last week I had two very public accidents and since this hadn't happened in awhile it totally freaked me out. I have spoken to the urologist, my therapist and my internist and everyone suggested that it would be better to be safe than sorry and that I should just wear diapers 24/7. I have had bad periods in the past when I have worn diapers 24/7, but they've only lasted a few weeks. It wasn't a permanent thing.

    I'm totally freaked out about the thought of wearing diapers 24/7 but the throught of wetting my pants in public freaks me out too. I find it embarrassing for people to know that I wear diapers even though the few friends who know about my issue have been very supportive and couldn't care less. My husband and children also supportive and is fine with me wearinng them 24/7. They tell me to just think of it as a different form of underwear. I could wear a pad instead of a diaper but if I fully wet a pad is uselsss. They're only good for a leak if you sneeze or cough.

    I wore diapers 24/7 for a few days after the second accidcent but have stopped except for night. I do work and the thought of having an accident at work terrifies me but I don't want all my co-workers to know that I wear diapers. I have had very close calls at work (where my panties have gotten a bit wet but I managed to get to the bathroom before I wet myself) and the one time I did wet myself I was in the parking lot and just got in the car, drove home and changed.

    I am feeling so helpless right now. I never thought something like this would ever dominate and control my life. Even if I go to the bathroom at 10:00 I still might need to go and have an accident at 10:15. That's just the way it works. I limit fluids but that's not good etiher. Don't want to get dehydrated. I'm told there are milllions of women with incontinence and over active bladder so I was hoping there were a few on this board who could offer some guidance. I am so desparate I am making myself into an emotional basket case. Thanks for listening. Any advice?
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    I have no advice for you but I feel for you. I hope that you find a solution to your problem.
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    I'm not that familiar with adult diapers, but is there a specific reason that you have such an aversion to the thought of wearing them if they're needed?

    I don't have any advice either, but I wanted to bump this thread for you. ((HUGS))
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    I have over active bladder too and it's mostly controlled with pads and medicine although I do wear a diaper to bed like you. I have had to wear diapers 24/7 sometimes when I've had a bad flare up but haven't had to wear on a regular basis. The flare ups generally last no more than a week and then I can go back to the pads. I know the diapers can be uncomfortable especially this time of year. Might a pull up work instead? Not sure that would be a good alternative if you totally pee rather than just leak. I haen't had an accident in my pants in a number of years but I have had wet spots when I've leaked too much and haven't changed my pad so I know how it feels. My experience has been that doctors are useless in helping people like us manage this. Just have to do what you need to do and what you feel comfortable with. Keep us posted and let us know how it goes.
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    Try using the extra heavy flow sanitary pads. You should also (if this is possible for you $wise) see a doctor. Good luck.
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    I mean, a completely diff doctor. I am sorry you are having to go through this.
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    I started having problems after my first baby, a huge 10 pounder. I was really destroyed. I didn't want Meds or a lingering problem. The problem was mostly when I woke at night couldn't make it to the bathroom on time. I had a TVT bladder suspension. There are people who have had side effects to the procedure and there is controversy. I have had no problems and it was about 95%effective. There are other surgical options as well. Talk to your doctor. Push for a better solution. Be your own advocate and do research.
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    I also have over active bladder and there really isn't much that can be done other than non FDA approved botox injections which are only effective about 65% of the time and have to be repeated regularly at a cost of about $1,000. My doctors (and I have been to several) also suggested that the best way to handle it was to wear adult diapers. I thought I had been hit in the head with a brick. But having no choice I did it. It's been 5 years now and I am in diapers 24/7. It does take some getting used to but its not as bad as everyone thinks. It allows me to lead an active life and I no longer have to worry about wetting myself in public. I was also on medicine for over active bladder which was giving me side effects. Since I now wear diapers all the time I no longer take the medicine. Not taking the medicine has made my incontinence worse but it no longer maters since I'm diapered. I'd rather be diapered than have the stress of having accidents and having to deal wtih the side effects of the medicine.
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    Maybe this seems like a useless question, and you've probably tried, but is there any way that kegels might help? Or am I totally off here? I thougy surely if it could help someone wouldve mentioned it by now. Best of luck :)
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    I have tried kegels and they can help, but they didn't fix my problem.
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    That is NOT the only solution. Do your own research here. The TVT does work and you will never know if the the injections work if you don't try.
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    I am so sorry for you ladies struggling with this. I used to be a pharma rep and sold an overactive bladder drug. We would only talk to the doctors about "older" patients. We were never trained about the younger patients and the after effects of having children. Sad, isn't it???
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    I went to a place for a number of months for pelvic floor therapy and they said that half their practice was men and half their practice was women. Interestingly, more than half their practice was under age 50. Women and men in their teens and 20's with this problem. It is not just an old age thing as people would like to think. Incontinence is a problem for people, both male and female, of all ages. Interesting how the press just features it mostly as an older problem for women. The incontinence product market is a booming billion dollar business which is expected to grow by double digits in the years to come as baby boomers age. I'm nto saying that everyone's going to be wearing diapers, but I'm not going to be the only one.
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    Give me a membership card. Embarrassed to say that I wear diapers too becaue of over active bladder. Been in diapers for about 4 years now. I'm 47 and have 4 kids. The incontinence issues started after the birth of my first 12 years ago and have gotten progressively worse with each pregnancy. It was the last one that pushed me from pads to diapers. I have little to no control left. Doctors think I also have some nerve damage from the pregnancies in addition to the OAB. Can't do anything about nerve damage so if I do have it that just makes my condition more permanent. Not going to say it's easy having 4 kids, being in my 40's and wearing diapers but it could be worse. A mom in my daughter's 2nd grade class this year had to have both breasts removed due to cancer. Funny side note was that it has been hard to potty train my 4 year old so because he sees mommy wearing diapers. Fortunately, I'm married to an amzing husband who loves me unconditionally and that helps a lot. So does supportive friends and family.
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    I am really concerned about this happening to me after my twins are born. Between the pressure on my bladder and one of them pinching off my urethra, I am having major pee problems right now. I go every 1/2 hour, or I get into some serious pain. Then I have to push and push, like an old man with prostate issues. And I still only manage to squeeze out a few tablespoons.

    Thanks for starting this thread - gonna keep a close eye out here!
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    Me and lots of my friends have pee problems after childbirth. Most of us handle it with pad (which are thick and bulky and get thicker and bulkier as they absorb the pee) but a few of my gal friends need to use pullups or diapers. It's annoying and a hassle at times but not the worst thing in the world when you think of things like cancer and stuff like an earlier poster said. I got beautiful healthy kids so what if I pee a little when I'm not supposed to. Although DH says he's OK with it, I'm not quite so sure. One day when we were having a private moment he put his hand up my skirt and reached into my panties and I had a wet paid on. I purposely didn't say anything because I wanted to see his reaction. He's really great at changing the kids diapers so I figured he'd be OK with a wet pad but he felt it and said gross which was a total turn off for me and made me feel like 2 cents. The kids and the bladder have definitely killed spontanaiety.
  • crazymommy
    Posts: 776Member
    I had a problem while pregnant and for the first few weeks after I had them. I was lucky that I never reached a point where the thickest pads I could buy didn't work, but I did have my share of very embarrassing moments. (having to buy new pants while shopping because I'd wet through and it was being noticed) I also have a sister who still has this problem even a few years after being pregnant. She's been put on medication for it and so far so good I guess but the side effects of the meds are vicious headaches. I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. Life can be so unfair sometimes.
  • maloninc
    Posts: 1Member
    The kegels don't work all the time by themselves so you might want to try the kegal ball things (kinda like advanced kegels for those that have already tried them) or any of the other hints on this urinary incontinence page, and if not there is a ton of stuff on the net about treating overactive bladders, etc, before you write your case off as hopeless. best of luck.
  • longislandmom
    Posts: 2Member
    Glad to find this thread since I'm a member of the club. I can't afford to do the Botox treatments and the medicines don't work well for me. At times I am fine and don't need to wear any daytime protection.  Other times I wouldn't dare leave the house without protection.  Trying to know when to wear the protection and what type of protection to wear is the hard part. I don't wear pullups because I don't like them. If I'm having mild leakage it's a pad, if it's more severe it's a diaper.  Shame so many of us have this problem and we all suffer in silence. After many nighttime accidents and wet beds my husband insisted that I start wearing a diaper to bed every night.  Unlike the poster whose husband thought the wet pad in her panties was gross, my husband is 100% supportive.  His hands find their way into my wet morning diapers regularly. Guess I'm lucky in that regard.  It hasn't caused issues with our sex life.  However, I still feel socially awkward about it and dread anyone else finding out.