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only child
  • rlb
    Posts: 23Member
    I have 1 DD5. People act like I'm doing her a disservice by not providing her with a sibling. She's a very sweet, well behaved 5 y/o. I'm sure there are plenty of people with multiple kids that are happy, but all I see is a lot of stress. The most stressful time in my life, mommy wise, was when she was in the "terrible 2s". We may have another child, but not until I'm finished with school. She may be 10 before the we have a second one. What's wrong with that? I'm so proud of my DD for not being a brat and actually get to enjoy her.
    What are your thought on only children?
  • babycakes
    Posts: 109Member
    I don't think you're doing her a disservice if that's what works best for you and your family and you're happy. @rib are you an only child?? If you wait until she's 10 for another baby, I guess there are advantages and disadvantages to that too. (There are 8 years between my oldest and youngest) I also think that what makes a kid sort of chronically 'bratty' is somewhat the kids personality and part the parenting. But it's also our own perspectives and ideas on what a good kid behaves like. I have a friend and her DD is so disrespectful and rude (she's an only child btw) but her mom doesnt see the kid as rude or a brat... She repeatedly talks about how she's 'raising a strong independent young woman'. Anyway i just feel like kids who consistently aren't well behaved has more to do with the parents than the number of kids in a family. And I also think there's a natural rhythm to bigger families thats just more chaotic.. IMO not in a bad way.
  • [Deleted User]
    Posts: 2,675
    10 years between mine. And so both of mine are like only children. I couldn't have done 2 little ones.
  • rlb
    Posts: 23Member
    My sister and I aren't close either (2 yr difference). I'm thouroughly enjoying her little personality right now and would love to experience all the joys of the differnet ages with another one. Does that make sense? It does in my head! I want to be super close to my dd when she's older, and have a little one then when her needs aren't so "mommy focused".
  • GlitterQueen GlitterQueen
    Posts: 2,492Member
    I don't think your doing any kind of disservice, if all you want or can handle is one then have one. My sister has only had one. She is 7 now, she has lots of friends at school, and her parents spend alot of time with her. She never has said she wants a brother or sister. She plays with my kids alot, and my niece is very close to my dd. They are kinda like sisters and have sleep overs and they play alot together.
  • i_am_a_thunderbirdi_am_a_thunderbird
    Posts: 1,684Member
    My DS3 is an only child and I don't know if we're having any more. We'd like to, but we're not in a rush.

    People have chastised me and said, "Oh he needs a brother or sister" and my attitude has always been that people need to mind their own business.

    DS3 is a good kid - he's happy, healthy and well-adjusted. He will make friends once he goes to school and has a few little friends he plays with twice a week.

    Don't let anyone make you feel guilty. Your family, your choices. And no one has the right to tell you any different.
  • InAMinuteInAMinute
    Posts: 117Member
    I really struggled with this one too. I didn't really want another one but sure felt the pressure from others. Eventually I got the urge so I'm pregnant. But I'm pregnant because I want to be, not because others want me to be. If you are happy with one, awesome. I think it's actually a diservice to have another one you don't want. Other people aren't going to raise that child, you are, so they don't get to have an opinion. There's nothing wrong with doing what's right for you and your family.
  • DemandaDemanda
    Posts: 4,489Member
    I never intended for my son to be an only child, but it seems that life has dictated otherwise.  I flip flop between being at peace with it an desperately wanting another.  It does bother me that people say shit about it, though.  It really cuts my grass when they say something to him about it, because then for a few days he goes on and on about how much he'd like a brother.
    I don't feel I'm doing him any disservice.  Like @GlitterQueen's example, he's doing really well.  He doesn't have any issues making friends or anything. 
     I think it's more of a disservice to have another child if you don't really want one.  If you don't have the time, the money, the desire, for another, but you go ahead and have one jsut because people think you should...that to me is worse, the kid will feel that.
    "The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off." ~ Gloria SteinemPhotobucket
  • SouthernButterflySouthernButterfly
    Posts: 324Member
    We are TTC and my son and his new sibling will be 7 years apart. I really thought for a long time that I wanted an only child, I even had a BLOG about it for mom's who are tired of getting crap for having an only. But then suddenly, out of the blue. I decided I wanted to take the crazy journey all over again. It's a personal decision. I think only children are perfectly healthy, happy, and fine. My mom is an only child.
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