The Scary Mommy Community is a place to find support and camaraderie with amazing moms who love to help one another. We are scattered all around the world, of all different colors and sizes and lifestyles, united by a single thing: motherhood.

Please create a profile to post and for access to all of boards. It's quick and completely painless!

Motherhood Comes Naturally (and other vicious lies) is available in stores, and online, NOW. Do you have it yet? Have you told all your friends and family about it? **Get it, share it, and spread the joy!**
MOMS Club :(
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,315
    OK so are you ready for a confession??? I have doozy. I was in a MOMS Club for a few years. It's a nation wide support group for stay at home moms. Yeah right! My son was very young and I had just relocated to a new state so I figured "Why Not?"These women are my peers and I must have something in common with them!." Boy was I WRONG. It was all about who had the biggest home, nicest car, husbands job status and how many activities your kid was in. Everytime I left a playdate it gave me the same sick feeling I had in my stomach just like when I was back in HS and got made fun of because I had a shirt on from a bargain store.With that said after awhile I could not be fake any longer (I didn't fit in). I quit. A few weeks later someone from the group contacted me, asked why I quit, told her, she agreed and we have gotten along famously since then. (thanks MOMS club!!) So here is the confession, I have been trying to get my revenge on them anyway I can and here it is. Judge me, I don't give a shit. I had one last "meeting" to go to at the president of MOMS clubs house, I excused myself to use her bathroom and when I finished I made sure I wiped my vag, taint and ass all over her hand towels. I live down south and it is awfully sweaty "down there." I hope the rest of the board members wiped their hands on it afterwards. Second, I confessed to this before in the confessionals but I was coming home from a concert and had a good buzz on so I had my X-MOMS Club friend drive past one of the the biggest douchiest MOMS Club members house so I could run across the St. (half naked) and shove my large dirty granny undies into her mailbox.Yup. OK last one, I convinced my new friend to do something unspeakable. MOMS Club was asking for donations so of course my friend said "Ah yes I will donate my never used bread maker and my childrens outgrown clothes." I asked her "Friend, when MOMS Club douche comes over to pick up your generous donation could you please stick the handle of your bag up your asshole first?" She said "I would be honored." There it is and I'm not sorry about any of it!!!!
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,315
    You judged them? They were the horrible people because of your short comings? Right. You are a horrible person and I can't believe a grown woman would do such childish disgusting things. I hope you use better judgement around your children. 
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,315
    Yeah, this is all just disgusting. I can't imagine what these women did to deserve this. Honestly, I think you just like to do disgusting things to unsuspecting people and get off on it. If it weren't for these ladies it would probably be someone else. I almost think this story is a complete fabrication. I agree with the above poster, grow up.
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,315
    You wrote : "Judge me, I don't give a shit."
    Actually, its seems like you do give a shit, otherwise you would not have gone through all that trouble to do all of that.
    Sounds like you have a chip on your shoulder. It cannot be ALL of the women in that group judging you, after all, you did make a friend from the group. There are probably others in the group also willing to be your friend.
    People will judge you (and everyone else) every single day everywhere you go. That's just life. BTW, you are worse than these women. You are not only also judging them but then you are doing disgusting things to them.
    Either this is fake or you have some issues to deal with.
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,315
    ewwwwww...
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,315
    Agree with 8:14. You have serious problems.
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,315
    You said that this brought you back to your highschool days? Sounds like you never left. Time to mature honey. You are going to encounter lots of people in this lifetime who are not your cup of tea, just ignore and move on. The world would be awfully boring if we were all alike. I can guarentee none of the woman there would have done anything this awful to you. So what does that make you? Less than them. Food for thought perhaps?
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,315
    I'm disgusted and speechless. Anger management much?
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,315
    Well, some of that stuff is kinda gross, but I agree with you on the whole "Moms Club" mentality being a bunch of elitists. I joined a Mom of Multiples club when I found out I was due in August with twin girls. As soon as I saw the FB posts, I knew I was out of the running to ever really be 'in' the club. They were all about being 'blessed' and how many activities they could achieve in a day (none of them work) and about how their kids potty trained in two days - shit like that. I'm glad I got put on bed rest right after I joined so I never had to make excuses for not going to the meetings. And yeah, considering that the pamphlet was all about 'support' how many of those women do you think have volunteered to come over to meet me, or drop off a dish, or all the things it said they would do - zero. Only one of them has even bothered to chat me up on FB while I was on one day. I think that membership will quickly lapse, mainly because as one of the few working Moms, I won't be able to attend all the events anyway. Whatever. The daycare Moms are much nicer, much less snobby, and have all been much more supportive of me having to be home on my couch. And we don't even need to be in a 'club' to do that for each other.
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,315
    I think I am the only one who thinks this is hilarious!!? Oh well, WTG!!
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,315
    ok, i think that you confessing is probably good bc that means you feel bad about it. and honestly you should. think about it, what if someone nice gets that bread machine and you did something like that. or a kids touches it and that happened? even if these women were totally annoying and i am sure they were, you should try and find a different way to let out your anger. it sounds like there are some major jealousy issues that are holding you back from being a a better person that i can tell you wish we want to be. i think you want to be nicer but this is just your way of lashing out and saying the hell with them all instead of actually working on the issue at hand. good luck and really try and think about the nice people that would be affected by your behavior. really the only one suffering is you.
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,315
    It is a bit gross, but then again, alcohol was involved and to be fair, you were pissed, hurt and embarrassed. Oh well, hope the panty drop off made you feel better. Anyhow, I totally get the mom's club bitchiness. They are, for the most part, assholes. I live in the South and just "shopped around" for one that I liked.....the thing is- I couldn't find one. I must be really different from most moms; or that is the way they took me. You have to give others permission to hurt your feelings. Just don't do that! F them! I said screw the mom club gig and let them enjoy their hoity toity soiree's and play dates and I will take my son and go find someone fun to play with. I see where it can feel a bit like rejection, but if you didn't have kids, do you see yourself being friends with these ladies in the first place? I always ask myself that first. Good luck girl! Keep your panties on! :)
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,315
    i think you are truly hurt by those women and you have low self esteem. you are a mom, and this is the type of shit you do when don't "fit in?" wow. you are just as big of a douche as those moms, but in a different, disturbing way.
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,315
    madam poster/confessor...........you are a GOD!!!! ROCK ON!!! Try and be "perfect mommies" with all that PINK EYE bitches!!!
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,315
    This is why I freak out about eating at fast food restaurants. Which one do you work at??
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,315
    Lol at pp (real restaurants are by far worse, btw).
    Anyways I call troll on this one. I say don't give her attention and this thread will go away.
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,315
    I believe you did the right thing. I have lived in several different communities and been involved with several different sports. There are always certain moms who feel like they are God and can walk on water and everyone is the shit beneath their shoes. I would probably not have thought of some of that shit but wish I had. Maybe pull a double decker shit on the next asshole you cross LOL
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,315
    Holy Shit!! This confession just made my day!! Hilarious.
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,315
    This is the FAKEST thing I have read in a long long time. Dude get a hobby (or maybe making up stupid confessions is it. If by some freakish chance it is real may I suggest mental health therapy?
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,315
    I'm sorry but I think this posting is HYSTERICAL whether it's real or not! I myself have been involved in some "moms" groups and found that about 90% of them are shallow, spoiled, fake bitches! I've actually made friends with other "defectors" (sp) and we agreed that we didn't want to be associated with moms who basically made you feel like shit because you were poor, or had to work or even gave you crap about loving your "non skinny" body! (and I am really not kidding! God forbid you actually LIKED having curves and a round butt! I can't say I'd take the same measures the OP did but I totally understand! You ROCK!!!
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,315
    I love it!!!! Mompetitors are so freaking annoying!!!!! This was HILARIOUS!!!
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,315
    First off, I agree that this is fake. The whole story is ridiculous and what woman uses the word taint to describe part of her body? I digress. Past the whole fake trolling aspect, I don't like those kind of Mom groups either. I just keep to my own little family and could give a shit about those mommies. There was once a time where I wanted to be part of a big group of supportive women and wow, my idealistic self learned a big lesson. maybe we just need a thread about Mommy clubs, this is obviously fake or someones disgusting fantasy about getting revenge I guess. If someone actually did this they have serious mental issues.
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,315
    Fake. Period.
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,315
    You have issues.

    My MOPS group is nothing like that, and we're in the South. The majority of us live in trailers and stay barefoot and pregnant. We do 'poundings' when someone has a baby, is seriously ill, or has a seriously ill child. We have one scheduled this week actually, we're doing frozen dinners a mom of a 2 year old just diagnosed with acute lymphocytic leukemia that she can just pop in the oven. I'm very surprised to learn that other groups are so much different!
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,315
    all i can say is WOW! you are my hero!
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,315
    I'm thinking the person who thinks she's a "hero" and a "god" is the OP.
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,315
    Does it make you all feel better to think that this was a fake confession and that there aren't people out there doing these things?? Because I'm said friend and I can tell you it's all real and my friend uses the word "taint" quite regularly and she is nuts and could benefit from mental help.
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,315
    So you are the one who put a trash bag handle up your ass?
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,315
    Yes I am - and when that douchie MOM took the handle and brought the bag out to her car I never had a feeling of satisfaction as I did at that moment!
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,315
    Well- now I'm totally convinced this is all true...
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,315
    It sounds like a fantasy typed. Besides who are you getting revenge on by doing that to stuff that's going to be sold to unsuspecting members of the public not mom club members.

    No woman would do something like that for a "friend" gross. Would you? I think a man wrote this.
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,315
    what kind of friend asks someone to stick something up their asshole as a favor, and what kind of fool obliges? you both sound like seriously mentally-health challenged individuals and lord knows what ur teaching ur kids if this how you act when people don't like you. ur mothers and u run around naked, sticking things up ur assholes cuz a friend asked you to? lmao
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,315
    LOL @ 12:43

    I always ask my friends to stick things up their butts, what are friends for?? Totally giggling, with tears in my eyes!
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,315
    This post is hysterical!!!!! I'm not sure what is funnier.,. The story of "revenge" or the sanctimonious posters saying how the woman is mental or fake. Thank you ladies for this topic.., I needed this today :-)
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,315
    I think it's great how the OP's "friend" pipes in to back up the story. Nice touch.
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,315
    What I think you need to do is spice it up... Add a lesbian love scene and the curiously missing man to "take care" of the ladies. Then send it to Penthouse.
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,315
    I would do this or worse. Women are catty bitches. They will steal your man in a heartbeat. I prefer men for friends................
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,315
    i so wish that one of the board members that this happened to read this post. it would so add to the drama and allow me to crack up even more.
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,315
    not the OP here but i think this is hilarious! grow a humour bone girls :)
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,315
    Yummy, E.Coli!
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,315
    "I would be honored."
    How does one get a trash bag handle up ones ass?
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,315
    @2:02 Maybe the knot on top of the bag? Who the hell knows! What a great friend. I wish I had friends like that!!
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,315
    lmao off @ 12:55!
    how does the song go, "in good times, in bad times, i'll stick things all up in my ass...that's what friends are for.........."
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,315
    i've had plenty of satisfactory moments and not a single one involved me sticking anything up my asshole for someone else....lady ur a better friend than i ever could be...........
    LMAO, tears even, and i'm at work..........omg,
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,315
    the story she tells is true. I have known this girl since we were little and this is nothing compared to some of the shit she has done. With that being said, the ones bitching that she has issues or is just plain gross .. well your probably the type of slooshbag that attends those stupid ass meetings just begging for someone to compliment you on how your kids are dressed or the size of your home. Too bad your husband is probably banging someone on the side. You have the nerve to tell her to grow up but look at your life.

    When she told me she confessed on here I had to laugh. I knew some stuck up skank was going to act all high and mighty. Isn't this site about confessing things, especially shit like this? If she asks me to shove something up my ass ... well sorry I can't due to medical reasons but I would if I could cause it was great! Now all you prissy bitches go buy some batteries cause once again your husband is not coming home.
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,315
    OK OP here. Thanks 3:53! Love you girl! I LOVE each and every one of these comments! The negative ones have me in fits of laughter. I wrote this confession because I thought my story was funny. I think I have succeeded in making people laugh. The story is all true except for the part where my best friend said she would be "honored." I put that in at the end for an extra bit of funny! I knew when I wrote it that it would be a mixed bag. Some of you are disgusted by my actions where as I gave others a good laugh today. It's all good and I understand why this upset some of you because well .....it's gross! There isn't any info on this site saying I couldn't post anything yucky right? Hey this is a confessional!! For moms? So I figured why not tell my sordid tale!! Ok off to take my meds now lol!!
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,315
    Oy. That is all.
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,315
    Oh and (OP again) I told a bunch of my girlfriends about this awesome website so if any of those crazy bitches comment agreeing with me it is NOT ME!! :)
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,315
    Boy, OP really set off a firestorm with this post! Awesome!
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,315
    Funny shit!!!!!
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,315
    @ 3:53, how is it that those of us who think this is WRONG automatically become "skanks, slooshbags and prissy bitches"? Because use of our ass holes is not the way we handle things? YES I enjoy my kids being dressed well and clean and well behaved.. why is that a crime? YES i enjoy my home that my husband built for our family.. why is that a crime? I don't live a lavish lifestyle but I am certainly capable of making what I have the best it can be.. and to you this is a crime? It sounds like you and the OP have some very severe issues in dealing with your peers and that's ok. there's help out there for those kinds of things... I am sorry that you find fault it those of us who have discussions about what makes us upset instead of shoving things up our ASSES! I seriously hope I never ever come in contact with you or your group of friends because lord only knows where your hands and objects you posses have been.. you are discusting in so many ways... PLEASE get help before your bodily waste causes someone illness that cannot be reversed.... bodily waste can do those things to someone with a low immune system... maybe you should think about that before shoving handles and whatever else up your asses and handing them to people who may very well allow a child to touch these objects... I could go on about this but honestly, people like you, aren't worth it!
This discussion has been closed.
All Discussions