Did I Really Just Say That?
  • The user and all related content has been deleted.
    well behaved women seldom make history
  • The user and all related content has been deleted.
    well behaved women seldom make history
  • MJC10177
    Posts: 69Member
    After a bright green poop in her potty had her all excited...
    "no honey, you did not poop a dinosaur"....
    insert devastated tears and a heartbroken baby girl....
    "wait, you DID! you DID poop a dinosaur honey!! Yay!"

    Youre licking my foot....again...WHY are you licking my foot....
    No honey, daddy is not a moose..no he's not!

    LOL...oh these make me laugh. Love them
  • supermommy
    Posts: 586Member
    "Syrup is not lotion!"
    "Pull your pants up, this isn't the potty" at the doctors with 2yo ds
    "Please get the corn out of your nose!" 4yo dd ten sqeezes nostrils shut and tries to blow "is it in my ear yet mommy? Look!"
    "Get your finger out of my butt I'm trying to pee!"
    "Don't climb the TV!"
    "Get the drumsticks out of your pants"
    "Yes those are boobies, don't touch them they're not yours"
    "No honey you don't have two butts, only one. That's not a butt."
    "Will you please stop licking me"

    I could go on forever!!
  • The user and all related content has been deleted.
    well behaved women seldom make history
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    "Stop spanking your monkey!" Literally he was spanking Curious George.....didn't realize what came out of my mouth until after the fact LOL
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    Let's see, here's a few of my recent favorites. My son just turned two.

    Don't grab the dogs wiener!
    Don't put diapers on the dog
    You are not a dog, don't eat with your mouth!
    Do you want me to turn you on? (while my son was sitting on his power wheel trying to make it go forward)
    Don't wash your hands in your pee! (as he's squatting in the tub fascinated with the new source of running "water" )
    It may hang down but it's not a handle! (said by my husband after a loud yell when my son grabbed the tender appendage while trying to climb into bed with us.)
    Don't lick the chapstick off the floor!
  • GingersnapGingersnap
    Posts: 9,696Member
    My favorite: "That's not what your foreskin is for," shortly followed by, "Don't eat it!" (The little guy was trying to squirrel away a peanut M&M in there)
    image
    “The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.” ― Joseph Campbell
  • GingersnapGingersnap
    Posts: 9,696Member
    -Please don't rub your penis on mommy's leg. Just. Don't.
    -We don't eat with our noses.
    -Yes, mommy loves Woody, too. (Toy Story, anyone?)
    -Me: Please let go of my nipple, it's not a toy. Kid: Mine! Me: Not anymore.
    image
    “The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.” ― Joseph Campbell
  • Please stop putting "chicken pox" on yourself, Caillou didn't go to the Dr. for his, but YOU will. (she's terrified of the dr.)
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    if you poke me in the butt with that rubber chicken one more time, i'm gonna smack you in front of all these people! (13 yrs. old & 6 feet tall)
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    Please don't touch my private areas -- to my DS.
    You can't play with your penis while we're watching TV -- also to DS.
  • GingersnapGingersnap
    Posts: 9,696Member
    "No *no* NO! Don't kiss me with your tongue. Ew." Actually, I'm not sure he's trying to kiss me as much as reenact the scene in "The Princess and the Frog" where the frogs get their tongues tangled. He also sticks his tongue in my ear acting like the chameleon in "Tangled". Yech. But funny.
    image
    “The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.” ― Joseph Campbell
  • supermommy
    Posts: 586Member
    Watch your weener! (As he's peeing off to the side of the potty because he's looking around)
    Do NOT pee on Buster!! (My moms shitzhu)
    You can't pee while lorelei is going! Wait your turn!
    I love potty training
  • CinnaCinna
    Posts: 1,841Member
    Just because u shaped the play doh like poop does not mean u flush it down the toilet
    Two hearts! Oh baby I'm beating out a samba!
  • CinnaCinna
    Posts: 1,841Member
    Oh and just said this one... do not drink your own bath water
    Two hearts! Oh baby I'm beating out a samba!
  • @goodmommy-the bathwater is thing is an EVERY day thing with DD.
  • unforgivenunforgiven
    Posts: 12,718Confessional Manager
    LMBO @mammasays

    confessional-manager

    "What looks like torture is a time to rejoice
    What sounds like thunder is a comforting voice
    When what is beautiful looks broken and crushed
    And I say I don't know you
    But you say it's finished"
  • breezybreezy
    Posts: 3,465Member
    In the car on the way home from softball... You guys want slurpees? Yes, yeah, me, .... I only heard 5 yes's who doesn't want one... Silence.... Silence... Uhh mom, there's only 5 of us back here...

    Duh!
  • unforgivenunforgiven
    Posts: 12,718Confessional Manager
    LOL @breezy

    confessional-manager

    "What looks like torture is a time to rejoice
    What sounds like thunder is a comforting voice
    When what is beautiful looks broken and crushed
    And I say I don't know you
    But you say it's finished"
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    "Put down the carrots and eat your french fries"... (yes..but it's a picky eater issue lol)
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    Don't put your mouth on my bum please.
  • fatchickonabikefatchickonabike
    Posts: 6,590Member
    Stop singing songs about the dog's pee-pee hole!
    Part of growing up is learning to forgive your parents for being human.
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    OMG LOL!

    And this is at an 8 yr old.

    "Flush the @#$#%#@$% toilet!"
    "YOU are NOT in charge"
    "Stop slapping my butt"
    "Nobody wants to see your penis. Go put some clothes on."
    "Do not eat out of the garbage"
    "Put your used TP in the toilet....and FLUSH IT"
    "That cat is going to nail you"
    "Yes, you are bleeding. No, you are not going to die so STOP acting like a girl!" - probably shouldn't say that but when you can barely wick up the blood with a tissue and he's in full blown hysterics.......sheesh.
    "If you roll your eyes at me one more time, I'm going to knock them out of your butt hole!"
  • fatchickonabikefatchickonabike
    Posts: 6,590Member
    No, we CANNOT go to McDonald's because that stuff is garbage. In fact we'd be better off drinking the garbage juice out of the dumpster!
    Part of growing up is learning to forgive your parents for being human.
  • NotSoSilentLurkerNotSoSilentLurker
    Posts: 155Member
    DO NOT lock your brother in the dog's crate
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    Please get your finger out of my ear
    No..you really shouldnt join up the spots on the cat
    The cat really doesn't need to have pink spots does she?
    Where is your underwear?
    Please unlock the car...it's starting to rain!!!
    The cat doesn't need to eat lady birds again ok?
    Your boats aren't designed for the toilet
    Where has all the toilet roll gone? (3 rolls and I still can't find them)
  • AnonUser30
    Posts: 1,916Guest
    Bump. This looked like Fun!
  • momofdbbmomofdbb
    Posts: 10,900Member
    Lol this is great!!!!

    Stop licking the bus!!! City bus window with grease spot !
    Stop licking the cat!
    Stop licking the dog!!
    Stop licking your brother !!
    Stop licking me!!
    Stop licking the chair!!

    We seem to have a licking issue, lol. And that was some for all three of my kids.
    " Wibbly wobbly timey wimey ......." The Doctor
    " I'm a leafe on the wind..watch how I soar ." Wash :((
    " Oh the wall had it comming.' Sherlock Holmes
    yea I am geek !!
  • nessamommynessamommy
    Posts: 666Member
    Honey, humans aren't made to see in the dark, that's why we have electricity.
    Close the fridge.
    Quit feeding the dog your carrots
    Please don't pee in the dogs cage (potty training the youngest)
    No banana is not a bad word... Nevermind yes, yes it is a bad word.
    Please don't give your sister a wet willy.
    Your sister is not a horse get off her!
    If life gives you lemons, squirt lemon juice in life's eye!
  • my2girlsrcrzy
    Posts: 9Member

    Quit throwing food behind the TV.

    The DVD player is not a piggy bank.

    Sweetie their are some songs on the radio that little girls shouldn't sing.  ( she actually sang some lyrics to Rhianna's song about S&M You know the part about Chains and whips excite me, Didn't think she could understand that part cuz I had to look the lyrics up on You tube to make sure I was hearing it corrrectly)  We monitor the radio stations we listen to now.

  • tothemoonandbacktothemoonandback
    Posts: 3,934Member
    I remember my first "did I just say that" moment.. now I have hundreds.. but my first two were:
    "Stop putting cheese in your ear"

    and.. the moment I realized 'holy shit I AM a mom':
    Are you going to eat your food or just sit there and play with it?
    Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius, and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring. - Marilyn Monroe
  • TrEr02TrEr02
    Posts: 687Member
    Stop licking the refridgerator
    We got no food, no jobs...OUR PETS HEADS ARE FALLING OFF!!
  • [Deleted User]
    Posts: 6,948
    The user and all related content has been deleted.
    well behaved women seldom make history
  • Mommyto3
    Posts: 118Member
    "stop drinking your bath water, your butt is soaking in that same water" at least once every time my son is in the bathtub.
    "I don't hide things in my boobs like your mawmaw does so no you are not sticking your hands down my shirt"
    "did you see where your brother peed in the floor?"
    "get your naked self off of the furniture"
    "I am not feeding you until you find your underwear and put them back on"

    I could really go on all day!
  • Angel21376
    Posts: 71Member
    Five kids yup I got quite a few
    Who Did that?? NOT ME in unison, me: I cant wait to find that not me ghost, been trying to catch that darn thing for years, Im gonna POW too the moon!!!

    to my six year old daughter, shoes on wrong feet hunny, she looks at me blinks and says I only have one set of feet mommy

    me to my youngest just today, please please let mom have a breather for two minutes, after the day I have had, anything else goes wrong, my head is going to spin around and im gonna spit pea soup,

    to my oldest boy 17, during the SEX talk, he lost his V and didnt use anything... I said really??? do you want something you cant wash off with a brillo pad???

    OMG help me lmao
  • [Deleted User]
    Posts: 6,948
    The user and all related content has been deleted.
    well behaved women seldom make history
  • Angel21376
    Posts: 71Member
    I know the feeling Mamma that alone is gonna be the death of me
  • notperfectnotperfect
    Posts: 1,246Member
    My kids are a bit older and one of them was complaining about the cost of condoms (so glad they are so open) and I told her you know what is more expensive than condoms? BABIES! I also told my son I would rather have him tell me he needs condoms than tell me he needs a crib.
  • mamawithmoxiemamawithmoxie
    Posts: 15Member
    Just like my mother: No, YOU pick it up, I'm not your maid!

    Not so much like my mother:

    Pee on the ROCKS please, not Mama's flowers!

    Yes, the helmet IS important, but you cannot ride your bike wearing JUST the helmet!

    Boys! Stop! Can't we all just get along?

    The back of my sweater is not a hand-towel!

    Did you two just wipe your faces on the back of my skirt? (to my chocolate-smeared twins) And yeah, they did

    Um... yes, I guess we ARE carnivores... just like the Komodo Dragon... (what has he been reading?)

    Just yesterday:  We're drawing a 30 foot Ananconda today, how long is this roll of drawing paper?

    And my favorite...

    "Who hid his poopy underpants behind the toilet?!"
  • wornout
    Posts: 18Member
    Stop licking the window
    Don't chase your cousin with a screwdriver 
    The shark on your shirt WON'T bite you
    Neither will the crocodile
    Don't stick those tweezers in you butt
    Gross, don't put the tweezers in your mouth, you had them on your butt!!!

    This was all today  
  • ZidashaZidasha
    Posts: 831Member
    After reading all of these there is nothing I can say that's any different...LOL!! These are hilarious..
    "I have a theory that placenta is brain matter I push out, so with each child I get dumber and dumber." ~ Unknown

  • mommy2a6yroldboy
    Posts: 18Member
    I can't hear you when you whine is my favorit. Stop eating your bugers! Put your clothes on! He always has to be naked. I thought that would go away after a few years. But here we are at almost 7 years old and he still hates clothes.
  • MyInnerGoddessMyInnerGoddess
    Posts: 1,558Member

    Put your clothes on! He always has to be naked. I thought that would go away after a few years. But here we are at almost 7 years old and he still hates clothes.



    ^^^ THIS!  ALWAYS! 
    "People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they can't find them, make them."
    ~ George Bernard Shaw~
  • tothemoonandbacktothemoonandback
    Posts: 3,934Member
    After today, I can add "Honey, it's not nice to talk about eating people with a fork".
    Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius, and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring. - Marilyn Monroe
  • lpc
    Posts: 1Member
    I just had to say I've been trying not laugh to loudly ( because my son is sleeping right next to me) with tears streaming down my cheeks!
  • GritsGrits
    Posts: 4,370Member
    To DD3 "Stop licking the screen door!" "Nail polish is NOT for lips!"
    "I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day, and I believe in miracles." ~Audrey Hepburn
  • bookworm
    Posts: 26Member
    "Don't bother me unless someone's bleeding or something's on fire"
    "Do you have underwear on?" (Daily to my dd since she was 2; she's now 9 and it's still 50/50)
    "Why is your hair pink?"
    "what do you mean you haven't seen the hamster in two weeks? and what's that smell??" (true, I'm ashamed to say)
    "I don't care is she IS wearing your lacrosse helmet, stop hitting her in the head with that stick!"
    "Stop feeding q tips to the dog"
    "You can only have this popcorn if you don't put your feet in the bowl" (my dd used to always stick her bare feet in anything you gave her, I still have no idea why)

  • [Deleted User]
    Posts: 6,948
    The user and all related content has been deleted.
    well behaved women seldom make history
  • MyInnerGoddessMyInnerGoddess
    Posts: 1,558Member
    @mammateeroll...LOVE IT!
    "People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they can't find them, make them."
    ~ George Bernard Shaw~